A/N: There will be D/G in the future! No worries. Also, I decided to start writing this one and deserting "A Feud to Maim" because there is no plot in Feud, which doesn't really compel me to write more. Sorry, folks. However, this fic actually has a plot (gasp!) and such. This fic is rated R because there's a lot of cussing. It also allows me to be free with the content of the story. So, read on! Review! I love reviews.
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, at least not in this world.
The morning was supposed to be as normal as any other morning was. She was supposed to wake up with a teddy bear wrapped in her arms, her hair sticking to her face in an unflattering matter as she rose up to slam her hand down on the alarm clock. That was how all mornings usually went for her, and this morning was supposed to be no exception.
Yes, she did wake up with something wrapped in her arms, and her hair sticking to her face. She did rise up to slam her hand down on the alarm clock. But this was when all things went awry, when she realized this was going to be one of the most abnormal mornings she ever had.
Her fist met something soft, that let out a loud yelp of, "What the fuck?!" Horrified, she raised her fist to see what it had landed on.
It was no other than Draco Malfoy, the devil himself.
Ginny screamed, jumping from the bed in shock. She began to sputter, "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I didn't know you were there..." when alas, she realized that she had no clothes on. She let out another scream, grabbed the sheet from the bed unveiling a just as naked Malfoy, and hurried out of the room in a wild frenzy.
She ran into the closest room panting heavily, which turned out to be the hall bathroom. Finally, she found the nerve to look into the mirror, and would have screamed again if she hadn't already lost her voice.
Staring back at her with a frightened expression unlike herself, was Pansy Parkinson.
Pansy had woken up in a state close to Ginny's except with all the screaming. Instead, she swore fairly loud, alarming all of the other inhabitants of the room from their sleep. She pulled the curtains open violently, only to see a bunch of girls she recognized as sixth year Gryffindors. She hissed in their general direction and headed for the bathroom.
She had some general idea what had just happened. Pansy was not one to randomly jump to conclusions based on mere impulse. She rationalized through her thinking, using inductive reasoning to come to valid answers. Being that she woke up in the sixth year Gryffindor dorm instead of her usual surroundings, she figured she must be in the body of a sixth year Gryffindor. It was only logical.
She stomped in, looking immediately in the mirror, dreading for what she might see. What she saw was the worse thing imaginable, something that made her cringe and wish for death to take her now.
She was a Weasley.
After Ginny had quickly found out what happened, she raced into what she guessed was the seventh year girl's dormitory, grabbed some decent clothes (which was hard, since it was from Pansy's wardrobe), and raced toward the Gryffindor common room. If what happened what she thought had happened, she was soon going to run into her body with a very agitated Pansy inside it.
This she did, right in front of the Great Hall. She saw herself seething, who quickly grabbed her shirt and shoved her into a nearby classroom.
"I'm guessing you're Weasley, right?"
Ginny breathed in deeply, "Yeah. Pansy?"
"Uh huh," she said, followed by a smirk, "How was your morning?"
Ginny blushed and replied angrily, "I'm not one to randomly find myself naked in bed with a nude Malfoy."
"Yes, well I'm not one to find myself hugging a teddy bear when I wake up either, so we were both in for a rude awakening," Pansy scoffed.
Ginny didn't say anything, just watched herself -- or Pansy -- make a series of angry and sardonic expressions. It was odd to watch herself act like a.. well, a Slytherin. Pansy finally caught her eye, a single eyebrow raising.
"Is there something you'd like to say?" she sneered.
Ginny sighed, "Yes. Do you know what could have caused it?"
Pansy tapped her foot, as if in deep thought. She lowered her head to the ground, crossing her arms. Finally, she replied, "Yes. I do."
Ginny's eyes lit up, "Really! That means we can reverse it!"
Pansy let out a snarl, "Not if the person I think procured it did it."
A frown crossed Ginny's face, "What?"
Pansy let out a tired grunt, and dragged Ginny to the fireplace in the classroom. She threw some floo powder in it, called out "Parkinson Manor" to reveal a very sickly looking house elf.
The house elf was obviously very intimidated by Pansy, since he was shaking the second he laid eyes on Ginny. He asked with a stutter, "M-m-miss P-pansy?"
Ginny, a little confused, could only muster a few sounds that were supposed to form words. Unable to take it anymore, Pansy elbowed her in the stomach and whispered harshly, "Ask for Master Charles."
Ginny let out a small gasp and croaked out, "Can you get Master Charles?"
The elf let out another stutter saying he was going to fetch this 'Master Charles', only to reveal a young boy, perhaps eight or nine, with blond hair and nose similar to Pansy's. The second he saw the both of them, he looked straight at Pansy and squealed out, "It worked!"
Pansy reached into the fire and grabbed the boy by the collar and shook him violently. "Damn right it worked! What the bloody hell did you do, you little twit?"
The boy smiled, "Just getting back, dear sister."
"By turning me into her?!" Pansy shrieked.
An even bigger grin crossed his face as he said, "Don't worry, it'll only last a month."
Pansy's eyes narrowed, however she remained calm (eerily, but still calm) as she said, "A month?"
The boy sighed, putting his hands on the hands Pansy was busily grasping furiously, "You always taught me to get my revenge, and I felt this was a fit revenge for putting my toy trucks in the kitty's litter box."
The fury in Pansy's eyes only lasted for a second, when they did something Ginny had never witnessed: softened. But only for a second, for a sly look crossed her face, "Looks like I've been teaching you well. But remember, this won't be forgotten, Chuck."
Chuck smirked, "I'll be waiting for your brilliance."
Pansy released her grip and asked, "What was the curse you put on me, anyway?"
"It was the Phatus curse.. to make the person you directed it at to switch bodies with the person they despise most."
Obviously proud of her little brother, Pansy prodded, "And how did you perform such a difficult curse?"
The boy crossed his arms arrogantly, "I found the gardener snogging one of the maids."
She let out a pleased squeal, "Blackmail! You little devil!"
"I felt he deserved it for grossing me out," he said, scrunching up his nose.
She snickered, "You're worthy of the Parkinson name."
"Thank you, Pans. I'll let you go, because you obviously have work to do," he said, giving Ginny what she perceived as a look of scorn.
Pansy clucked her tongue, "Thanks to you, no doubt." He gave another pompous smirk. "Go now, before I get annoyed with you." He waved good bye, gave one more evil glare to Ginny, and disappeared.
"You despise me the most? Do you even know my name?"
Pansy looked at Ginny seriously and asked, "Fanny, right?"
She held back a scream, "Ginny."
Pansy rolled her eyes, raising from the fireplace, "What matters is your last name is Weasley, and I loathe Weasleys."
"And for the next month you have to be the very thing you loathe! Very, very tragic." Ginny remarked, making sure the words were laced with sugary apathy.
Pansy frowned for a second, but then a wicked smile crossed her face, "And you have to be a mean filthy Slytherin. Fate has a way of hitting us in the face, doesn't it?"
"I have nothing against Slytherins."
"Really?" Pansy challenged, "Weasley, you glare at us every chance you get, and you know it."
Ginny crossed her arms, "What you fail to realize is that I am glaring at you, Parkinson. You make me retch."
Pansy stared at her a few seconds, her eyes narrowing. Then, when Ginny felt she was going to hit her at any moment, Pansy threw her head back and let out a loud cackle. "Retch?! Weasley, you crack me up!" She then left the classroom, her laughter now echoing in the halls. Ginny just sat there, shocked by Pansy's sudden burst of joy. A few seconds later, Pansy's head popped back into the classroom. "Are you coming or not? We have to find out some plan to help us survive the next month."
Ginny sighed, finally regaining her senses. "Why not?" she sighed.
Pansy seethed. It was only fifteen minutes into getting her best friend Millicent Bulstrode and Weasley's best friend, Colin Creevey, for a discussion in the Room of Requirement on how to act like Weasley, and she was already beginning to dislike the whole situation.
Weasley, whose first name she still did not know (Sunny? Jenny? What the hell was it?), had a face that was flushed red. Her jaw was tense, and she was gripping the chair in anger.
Pansy just stared back at her imperviously, swinging her left leg which was crossed over her right leg, smacking her lips obnoxiously. She pulled a tissue out of her bra and dabbed her nose as silence continued in the room.
Finally, unable to take it, Pansy let out a long exasperated sigh. "Weasley, it's really not that big of a deal."
"It's very much of a big deal!" Weasley screeched. Creevey cringed, while Millicent's lips began to twitch into what was predictably a smile.
"My god, woman! You don't need to screech! I can hear you just fine from where I'm sitting!" retorted Pansy, rubbing her ear. She leaned forward, "Listen, I'll make you a deal. I'll go out and buy you lots of new clothes, because let's face it, they are kind of shabby."
"NO."
"But it'll be so much fun! You can even come with me, and pick out clothes for me to try on, and I'll be your real live model! We'll go to Witch Express, Madame Malkins, Broom Gap --"
"PARKINSON." Ginny interrupted, looking as if she would rip Pansy to shreds. Pansy, taking the hint, shut up. "You are not allowed to.. to --"
"Make the beast with two backs?" interjected Millicent.
"Yes!" Ginny said, pointing at Millicent, "That! You cannot, under no circumstances, do.. that in my body."
Pansy rolled her eyes. "Shit, Weasley. Just say it."
Weasley snarled, "What?"
"Having sex, fucking, romping, humping, shagging, skrawnking.." Pansy listed off, pulling a piece of gum out of her bra.
Weasley snarled again, "You still can't do it."
"I have my physical needs, Weasley! You may be a cold fish, but I'm not! I'll die!" Pansy whined, popping the gum into her mouth childishly.
"Over my dead body."
"Really? Well, I'm in your body, Weasel girl, and there's nothing you can do to stop me."
It was now Weasley's time to seethe, her frown so extreme that her eyebrows almost overlapped her eyes. Pansy smiled smugly, continually swinging her leg back and forth. Suddenly, Weasley sparked. Pansy's smirk faltered. This could not be good.
"I'm in your body too, Parkinson. If you go off and do the unmentionable while you are in my body, I'll go and be nice to Hufflepuff first years," Ginny said, which followed by a loud scoff from Pansy. She smirked, "An eye for an eye."
".. makes the whole world go blind?" continued Creevey, keeping an innocent look on his face. Millicent's small smile now had turned into an evil grin.
"Shut it, Colin," growled Weasley. Both of the Slytherins sniggered, whereas Creevey shrugged and slouched in his chair.
Pansy sighed, obviously giving up. She waved it away with her hand, "Fine, fine. I won't fuck in your body. Happy?"
"I'm stuck in your body. Am I supposed to be happy?" Ginny cocked her eyebrow.
A smirk played onto Pansy's lips, "Guess I could say the same." She slapped her knees and stood up, "Now - back to the matter. Teach me the art of being a Weasley."