Disclaimer-Not mine! Not mine!
Many apologies for the lateness. I know I said this would be about the trial and that, but I'm still working on that. This is more a way to make things even MORE complicated and I wanted to take them away from everything. One of those R/E lunch dates which have become a tradition in Cordano fanfic.
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Robert stared at the piece of paper. It was just a telephone number for Gods sake, what difference did it make if he rang it or not?
Only it wasn't just a number, it was a whole host of opportunities. For embarrassment, for humiliation, for...well he didn't want to think about what in case he jinxed it.
The whirl of the ER seemed to silence as he sat in the lounge and stared at the card. Then the door slammed open and Susan and Abby bundled in, giggling at some joke. They quietened pretty quickly on seeing him and he thought about leaving then thought, hang on, I'm the damn chief around here, I can sit where I like.
'Something amusing ladies?' he asked.
Abby turned hastily towards the coffee pot and busied herself, leaving Susan to answer.
'Guy in exam three. His pet lizard got out and scooted up his trouser leg...well I don't think I need to spell it out,' said Susan, stifling a laugh.
'So good to see doctors round here respect their patients and their suffering,' replied Robert, standing up.
Abby suddenly sounded like she was choking and Susan raised her eyebrows at him.
'Sorry. We'll learn from your excellent example in future,' she said, causing Abby to cough so much, she nearly spilt her coffee.
'I should get that cough seen too Miss Lockheart it sounds terrible,' Robert said, stonily, 'maybe a shot of something, say whisky. Oh that's right, I forgot.'
He walked quickly to the door, intent on leaving, when Susan said,
'You seem to be coping well with all of this.'
He turned to shoot her a look, but Susan smiled a genuine smile, turned away and sipped her coffee. Biting his tongue, Robert left. Abby chuckled and leaned away from the counter.
'Well. He's just a bundle of laughs,' she said.
They sat at the table. Susan seemed edgy and stared at the door.
'I know. It almost makes you wish Kerry was back but...look at it from his position. One minute- ace surgeon, Chief of Staff and the next-arm sliced off, gun-wielding nut attacks your close friend and demoted. That is tough.'
Abby sipped her coffee and made a slight noise of agreement.
'Yeah okay. I know about shitty deals in life. But he nearly killed a patient the other day. If he couldn't take it he should take some time off.'
'Like you?'
'Okay, point taken again. But everyone's rushing around covering his back especially Carter-'
'Ah now we get to it.'
They both took another drink and Susan sat back in her chair.
'Its still not over you know,' she said, 'they've got the trial to go through. The DA's been in touch with Elizabeth.'
'How is she? I've been meaning to, I don't know, send flowers or something. But what do you get someone who's been through that?'
Susan shrugged and ran a hand through her hair.
'Support. She's dealing fairly well. I mean, she's got her daughter to take her mind off it, but I feel she's struggling with it. And believe it or not Romano has been helping her.'
'Well like you said-close friends. Close as he can be. Hey do you think theres'...anything more?'
The two women looked at each other, grins playing on their lips.
'Well-'said Susan.
'I mean,' said Abby, 'she does seem to have a thing for, er, follically challenged men…'
'Elizabeth we're going to the park, you could make an effort.'
'I have! I showered and brushed my hair, what more do you want?'
'You have a lovely figure-'
'Mummy, go and get Ella down would you?'
Isabel Corday disappeared in a cloud of disgruntled Chanel no.5. Elizabeth, standing in the hall, pulled on her coat. Her side ached a little, but she had taken pain killers and was hoping a walk would do her good even if it was with her mother. She looked at the front door and felt a bit sick. Her heart thumped loudly.
The phone rang. She jumped then stared at it like it was alive. Goodness, it's just the phone, she thought.
'Elizabeth?' he mother called.
'Its all right, I've got it.'
She picked up the receiver, took a deep breath and said,
'Hello?'
'Ah Lizzie its me, er, Robert.'
He sounded nervous and stressed and she could hear faint sounds in the background. Elizabeth smiled. He'd actually listened to her.
'I guessed that,' she answered, 'where are you?'
'No man's land,' he said, with a hint of bitterness, 'I'm hiding out in an exam room. How are you, I hope I'm not disturbing you, I can call back-'
'No, no its fine. We're about to go out for a walk, but I've got some time. I set Mummy to get Ella ready and knowing her temperament its should take a while.'
On cue there was a high-pitched kiddie yell followed by a muffled,
'Oh for heavens sake!'
Elizabeth giggled.
'Poor woman,' she said.
There was a small silence. Elizabeth's mind raced, searching for something else to say. It was funny. In hospital they had been able to chat for hours but here on the phone, things were somewhat more intimate.
'So, how are things there?' she said, awkwardly.
'It's like hell with worse lighting. I've had a boy with a sore throat, some woman who ate a lighter and three stoned weightlifters-don't ask. I'm really stretching myself here.'
Elizabeth tried to think of something sympathetic to say, but everything she thought of sounded pat.
'Bummer,' she said finally.
Robert laughed and she joined in.
'Thanks Lizzie, you always put things in perspective.'
'I try.'
'Well, um, listen. I know its only been a few days since you've got home and everything and this may sound a bit presumptuous and feel free to say no, because that's your right an all but I was wondering if, um, and this is only a request-'
'Robert, what is it?' Elizabeth interrupted.
'Right. Lizzie, would you and Ella like to come over on Tuesday for lunch. I mean I understand if your busy what with your mother-'
'Okay.'
'-its because its my day off and-what?'
'I said okay. I-we-would love to. It'll get me away from Mum and Ella would probably like to see the muppet man again.'
He didn't ask how she knew about that, but instead went very quiet. Elizabeth could hear him breathing very fast, but rather than embarrass him she waited for him to speak.
'Oh. Okay great, some time around one. I'll give you the address...'
Elizabeth replaced the phone and sighed. She felt strange. A rush of emotion and exhilaration coursed through her. Bloody silly thing to feel, she thought, its only a telephone conversation and its only lunch with Ella there and its only Robert. Only Robert.
'Elizabeth?'
She turned. Her mother was just reaching the bottom of the stairs, holding a red-faced, but dressed, Ella in her arms.
'Who was that? You seemed to be talking for ages.'
Isabel looked round Elizabeth, and squinted at the pad by the phone.
'Is that an address?'
'What? Honestly mother it was no-'
Why should I lie? Even to Mummy. I can tell the truth.
'It was Robert, Mummy.'
Isabel's eyes widened as Elizabeth took her daughter into her own arms.
'Romano? That little gnome? Good grief he annoys you enough at work he has to annoy you at home as well?'
'He doesn't annoy me Mummy,' said Elizabeth opening the door and breathing in the wind.
It felt clear and soft on her cheeks. Her mother was saying something in the background but Elizabeth ignored her and picked up Ella's pushchair by the door. She left the house with a silly little grin on her face which would remain there the rest of the day.
Tuesday arrived along with a letter at both Elizabeth and Roberts' houses. Neither of them got round to opening it.
Elizabeth woke early, surprising herself because not even Ella was awake. She remembered she was going to have lunch with Robert and her stomach filled suddenly with butterflies. She put a hand over it and her fingers felt the knarled skin of the scars which would never fully heal.
She remembered how, after she had had Ella, she had worked hard to shed the weight. She had felt proud of her body again but now she suddenly considered how she would feel showing it to anyone else. Someone who wasn't Mark. Someone who would see her scar.
What a weird thing to think, she thought. I mean, I'm only having lunch with Robert-the butterflies made another whirl-and I'm only nervous because of everything that's happened and the fact we are friends now.
A grumbling, moaning cry from down the hall told her Ella was awake.
'Up and at them Elizabeth,' she said, pulling the sheets back and climbing out of bed.
Robert crouched down and leant his back against a cupboard in his kitchen, letting the mop fall from his fingers. One-armed cleaning was far too exhausting. The room looked spotless though. In fact the whole house had a glow to it, as if he'd scrubbed his very soul into it. Which, he thought, he probably had. He wanted things to be perfect. More than that, he wanted things to be beautiful and safe and not, well, not like the typical Robert Romano.
He'd been on a sort of high since his talk with Elizabeth. Their relationship had been going well since the shooting, but the idea that she was finally going to be in his house, was something that entered dream territory. He'd even had to watch himself at work, try too temper his happiness in case people got the wrong idea. He had a reputation to maintain after all.
He managed to push himself back to his feet and checked the clock on the wall. Twelve. He had an hour or so. The food was started, the house shone-he looked in the mirror. He, on the other hand, was doing a good impression of a tramp. He hadn't shaved and he was covered in dust.
'Hello Igor,' he told himself, 'time to shower I think.'
Elizabeth drove through a leafy suburb. The day was unseasonably warm and sunny, as if it knew this was a new day for making new starts. The red and gold leaves were swept down the road by a light breeze. Ella watched with rapt attention, every now and then making attempts at words.
'Reda!' she said.
'Yep,' agreed Elizabeth, 'those ones are definitely red.'
Funny. She'd never wondered where Robert had lived. Yes you did, said a traitorous voice, you thought he was kept in a cage and only let out to torment other people.
This area was certainly very nice, but then with Robert's salary and no dependants, he could afford it. No dependants. No wife, no kids and probably no more dog. The issue of family raise itself again. Right, today's mission Elizabeth is to get that out of him. I can't know the man unless I know where he came from.
She caught a look at herself in the mirror. Not bad. The hair had been tamed and held back with a few ringlets around her face. The makeup was subtle but effective and her clothes were simple yet stylish. Plus Ella looked adorable in an ensemble her mother had bought.
The morning had been fun, avoiding her mother's curious glances and pointed comments and her final, folded arm stance at the front door. There had a been a couple 'if-I'm-not-wanted's and even a 'I-feel-I'm getting-in-the-way' which fuelled Elizabeth's hope she'd be leaving soon. She wanted things back to normal, back to routine, with Chris and Ella and the hospital.
Her hands felt clammy suddenly and her head split with a headache. She took deep breaths and pulled the car over, narrowly missing a stray cat.
'Breath Elizabeth,' she whispered, 'this is not the time.'
She sucked down air and gradually felt better. She fumbled in her bag and pulled out a bottle. Taking a couple of pills she closed her eyes and told herself that today was going to be an experience, good or bad, which would be hers and no-one else's. She felt bad about thinking of her mother in that negative way, but she really was too much.
'Mummy?'
Ella stared at her with concerned eyes and held out a hand. Elizabeth grasped it and kissed it.
'Its all right sweetie,' she said, 'Mummy's just having a moment.'
She turned the key, started the car and pulled away.
The doorbell went. Robert, halfway into the front room, temporarily froze. That was her. She was here. And you are acting like a fourteen-year old, get a grip man!
He shook himself, studied his reflection and shrugged.
'Hey I never promised her Brad Pitt,' he said.
He walked briskly into the hall and heard Ella's voice, which lifted his spirits. He grasped the door and pulled it open. There was Elizabeth, Ella on her hip and bag over her shoulder, looking lovely in a soft print top, long skirt and boots. Ella had a hat on which had fallen over her eyes. Robert reached out and pushed it back up.
'Hello there,' he said.
Ella grinned.
'Mupa!' she said.
'Come in,' said Robert, trying to stay cool.
Elizabeth stepped inside and her heels clicked on the tiles. She began to unbutton her jacket but had some trouble with Ella who was struggling to get down.
'You can let her go if you want,' said Robert, closing the door, 'It's pretty much all child proofed round here.'
Elizabeth looked at Robert, wondering if he was joking, but saw that rare look of honesty in his face. She gladly set Ella down who bounded off into the living room. She dumped the bag she was carrying by the stairs then removed her jacket. Throughout this Robert didn't move. He was taking her in, her hair, clothes, even her movements and the lines on her face.
She looked up and for a moment he was petrified she'd caught him looking but she just held her coat with a questioning look.
'Oh here,' he said, reaching out and taking it.
For a second, their hands touched. Elizabeth felt a shiver in her stomach. It threw her. Robert just took the jacket and turned to hang it up but she stepped back quickly, then remembered Ella and disappeared into the living room in search of her daughter and a distraction from her feelings.
'It feels odd that my daughter knows this place better than me,' she said, in a slightly strained nervous way. Elizabeth what is wrong with you, its only Robert!
'Yes well she comes over now and then to discuss things-home, pre-school TV, that kind of thing,' joked Robert, following.
Ella was ensconced in an armchair beating the sides and singing to herself. She looked up as Robert entered and shouted,
'Muppet!'
'Okay Robert,' said Elizabeth turning to him, arms folded, 'why does she keep calling you that? Why is she using that word at all, she didn't before she came to your house.'
Robert stepped back and placed his hands on his chest in mock defence.
'Moi?' he said, 'you're accusing me of corrupting your daughter with...puppets? Come now you know my techniques are more sophisticated than that.'
Elizabeth grinned. He's flirting with me, she thought.
'True,'she said, 'you have honed your craft.'
'With years of practise,' he answered walking round the table and quickly tickling Ella on his way into the kitchen.
Trusting her daughter to be all right on her own for a minute, Elizabeth followed him and leaned on the door frame.
'On me mostly,' she answered, keeping up with the banter.
Robert was stirring something on the stove. He turned his head towards her and said,
'Wouldn't have wanted to practise on anyone else.'
Elizabeth held his gaze for a moment then looked away, trying to disguise a blush which she was sure was spreading up to her cheeks. Robert noticed and it made him suddenly happy. She's actually nervous around you.
'Seriously though, I can't believe I've known you six years and I've seen your house...your kitchen! And Ella has!'
'Feel free to look around,' he answered, 'I can give you a tour even, but I have to say its not exactly Laura Ashley.'
He opened the oven and took out some things on a tray.
'Are you all right?'
Robert seemed to stiffen slightly at her words.
'Its fine,' he said.
There was a slightly awkward pause and Elizabeth bit her lip. She had to be careful. That was one of the things that had always infuriated her about him. The feeling of walking on a tightrope, not knowing if he'd explode at a wrong word.
'Okay. Well...you should see my house,' she said, trying to lighten the mood again, 'Laura Ashley it certainly is not. You wouldn't believe the mess a three year old can make!'
Robert laughed.
'Oh I would,' he said.
'Yes, Ella does seem to think this is Nirvana. She couldn't wait to come.'
'We aim to please.'
'You do?'
His eyes flicked up to hers. Despite herself, she shivered.
'Always,' he said.
The moment broke and he went back to the food, organising it on the plate.
'Voila,' he said, 'the rest is in the dining room.'
He turned quickly and disappeared, not into another room but outside. Elizabeth was baffled and stepped quickly across the kitchen to the open French doors. She watched his retreating back. He turned back to her and held out his arm.
'Its a lovely day!' he said, 'besides it gives me a chance to show you the summer house. Come on Lizzy!'
And now playful. Changeable as the wind. Only moments ago he'd been as tense as a caged tiger and now her was like a four year old. Speaking of which-
'Ella, we're going to eat outside today, like a picnic!'
'Lik bears?'
'Yes Ella. Just like bears.'
'Fourteen'
'No!'
'Yep.'
'First time? God you were a quick developer.'
'No point waiting for the best things in life'
'I can't believe you were that old when you decided to be a surgeon.'
'Wait, we're talking about surgery here?'
Elizabeth laughed. She hadn't laughed properly for a while, thrown back her head an let it out and it felt good. To Robert it looked damn good too. The food was gone, devoured in a very unceremonious way but how ceremonious could you be when three year olds were involved? A thoroughly satisfied Ella currently finishing off some strawberry ice-cream Robert had pulled out of the fridge whilst the adults shared coffee.
'I'm serious,' said Robert, delighting in her giggling, 'I knew then. Before then even. I always knew I wanted to do something like that, something important. Be useful and be the best.'
'Oh of course.'
'Are you mocking me?'
'Er, yes! But I think it's impressive. I didn't know I wanted to till I was twenty-three.'
Ella finished her ice-cream with relish and held out sticky hands above her head.
'Come here you,' said Elizabeth, removing a wet wipe from her purse and cleaning the child's grinning face.
'Twenty-three?' Robert questioned, 'But weren't you already training?'
'Absolutely, I wanted to be just like my father. But, I didn't really know. Not for certain. Not until the first time I stuck my hands inside a living man's chest.'
Robert, midway through a gulp of coffee, choked and was forced to start cleaning himself up with a napkin.
'That's...blunt,' he said.
'I know. Maybe its the drink, are you sure there's no alcohol in this coffee?'
'Not enough so's you'd notice,' teased Robert.
She laughed.
'But it is true, it is. I had trouble even observing at first. I was terrified at the thought I'd have to do it soon. Then, one day, I was observing this op-heart bypass-and a artery went and, oh, everything went mad. The surgeon grabbed me, told me to hold onto this bleeder and not let go on pain of death. I remember...the warmth, the feel of blood and tissue. The knowledge his survival was partially dependant on me, my hands. And it clicked in me and I loved it. The surgeons high-power and survival.'
Robert had stared at her face as she spoke, eyes meeting at the end. Silence but for rustling trees and a distant siren.
'I'm going to come to trial when you're up,' Robert said, finally.
Elizabeth opened her mouth, flustered and then managed,
'What? I mean, why? You'll probably be working. And I'm fine, I'll be fine.'
Robert was startled. He hadn't expected such a forceful rebuff. There was me thinking she'd be grateful, he thought, so much for a breakthrough over the past few weeks. She still didn't want him to help her. Perhaps she was just letting him down gently, gradually weaning him out of her life. First this, then no more phone calls, no looking after Ella and soon back to normal. That's what she wanted-normality.
Elizabeth was stirring her drink, eyes darting up to him then over at Ella how had toddled off into the garden a little way and was sitting in a pile of leaves.
'What about her?' Robert asked.
'With my mother, under strict instructions not to come anywhere near the place till its over. And when its over I'm not going to think about it anymore.'
Robert raised his eyebrows and leaned back.
'Really? I wish I could be so convinced.'
Elizabeth watched Ella throw a handful or leaves into the air.
'Oh to be a child again,' said Robert, softly.
'I wish I could turn things back,' said Elizabeth, quietly, 'I wish I could change so many things.'
'Like what?'
She shrugged.
'Choices,' she said, 'some I'd make differently.'
'Like not going into that room?'
'No. I'd still do that. Like you'd still go onto that roof.'
Elizabeth realised what she'd said and groaned inwardly. Way to assume too much Elizabeth, she thought. She didn't dare look at him, imaging the darkly thunderous look that he always put on when angry, but her eyes were drawn to his face.
Surprisingly his face was quite clear as he watched Ella playing. He said nothing and Elizabeth too remained silent as the light faded.
They barely noticed. Elizabeth, sat drowsily watching the evening sinking into night. She noticed Ella come up to the table, but over to Robert instead of her. Then, Robert raised his hand to shield his eyes from the low sun and said,
'Well, look at that.'
She looked. The sky burnt red. Streaks of violent and plum sliced across it and trails of smoky cloud slithered over the red globe of the sun. She caught her breath.
'Hey Ella, look,' said Robert.
Elizabeth peeled her eyes from the sight in the sky and watched him. Somehow, Ella had managed to climb onto his knee, and he was pointing to the sun and telling her a story about a man in a chariot who pulled it across the sky every day. The sky glowed, orange and yellow and red.
Red. Blood red. Her eyes sparked and saw spots. She stared very hard at the table and felt sweat on her palms. No, she thought, not now, not here. Things were going dark-no, I'm telling you I don't want
