Anniversary By JessMerrick
A/N: I'm planning to write another fic, a longer one, based on similar themes but I just had to write this…Review please. New After the Days and Dr Fraiser M.D. coming soon!!
Jonas nodded to O'Neill, telling him silently that he and Sam Carter would be fine by themselves for a while and that he would find out what was wrong with her. O'Neill patted him on the back and then left with Teal'c, off in search of a better campsite. Sam had tripped on a root and twisted her ankle an hour earlier. She had insisted that she was fine, but O'Neill had ordered her to sit and shut up while he found her some paracetamol and took a look. He had then decided that they should set up camp soon, but that their current location was not suitable. Of course she had wanted to go with them, but he reminded her they might come back and decide to stay right there, so she should rest up and be glad she didn't have to limp two miles only to find nowhere better and limp back again! She had been miserable before all of that, however.
The Kelownan pulled his half-full canteen from his pack and sat down beside her. "Hey," he smiled. "Sam, are you okay? You seem unhappy today, that's all."
Sam looked at him for a moment, deciding whether or not to say anything about what was bugging her. It was stupid, or so she thought, and she was annoyed at herself for having let it affect her doing her job. "It's just…an anniversary."
Jonas frowned. "I thought anniversaries were usually positive things?"
Sam sighed, trying to find an explanation. "Uh, not all of them. For instance the anniversary of a wedding is usually quite happy. But then of course, you have your anniversaries of people's deaths…"
"Can I ask you something?" Jonas said, slightly nervously. She nodded. "Is it the anniversary of your mother's death?"
"No," she shook her head. "That's two months away."
"Then what is it that has you so sad, if I may?" He continued, at the risk of pissing her off. She was obviously upset, and he'd found it was best to try to get her to talk about whatever was upsetting her. There was silence for a minute, and he feared that he'd made things worse. "You don't have to…"
"No," Sam said, smiling slightly, a hand on his knee to stop him from getting up. "It's the anniversary of the death of my ex-fiance."
"That's the person you were engaged to, right?" Jonas checked – he was getting fairly knowledgable about Earth customs and such forth.
"Yes."
"You loved him very much?" He asked, taking a swig from his canteen and then offering her some. He knew she'd drank most of hers already.
"Yeah, at first," She replied. He looked confused. "I made a mistake in ever dating him. I was very young when I met Hanson. He was a lot older than me, and he seemed very sophisticated. He was very sweet, and bought me gifts, took me out to expensive dinners…it was great. After six months he asked me to marry him. I said yes, straight away. I really wanted to marry him. He was a wonderful guy."
"But it didn't last, did it?" Jonas said, nodding in understanding.
"It didn't," she said, looking down at her hands. "We were living together, were going to be married very soon. It was gradual really, but that's when things started to change. He was treating me differently, we never went out, Hanson always wanted to stay in. He was very possessive of me, didn't want me to follow my dreams, my career. He got very jealous if another guy so much as glanced at me, whether they were checking me out or not. No gifts, no dinners, no compliments. He started being very opinionated, forceful about certain things. It got worse as time went by."
"Things?" Jonas asked, a good idea of what she meant. He shook his head angrily, staring at the floor in front of him.
"My father and Marc, my brother – he's five years older than me – and his wife Monica came to visit me one day. They knew something was wrong straight away, and even asked me about it, or at least Marc did, in private," she ran a hand through her hair, pausing for a moment. "We were arguing. All three of them thought I should end it, that I deserved better. But Jonas had worn my confidence down, and I didn't believe I could do better. Then I went to walk away, and Marc grabbed my arm. I cried out, and he stopped me and pulled my sleeve up."
"He saw bruises." Jonas supplied.
"Yeah, pretty bad ones," she nodded. "He shouted and Dad and Monica came in, and they both gasped. They were horrified, so was he. I said I got them at work, I was a Lieutenant by this time, studying towards my doctorate and working at a base part time. But they didn't buy that. Dad and Marc left, and Monica sat down and begged me to tell her. Asked if it was the first time, asked if there were any more."
"Did you?" He asked, softly, a lot of emotion and caring in his voice.
"No," she replied. "It took another few weeks before I left him. I was stupid, but despite all of that I thought I loved him. I turned up at my Dad's, and I stayed with him for a few weeks. Marc delivered the ring back to him, and told him if he came near me again he'd have a visit from him, Dad, and Dad's officers. He stayed away, it was over, for a while anyway."
"What do you mean?" Jonas asked. "You didn't go back to him, did you?"
"No, but I was assigned to the SGC and so was he," She replied. "We avoided each other, although he did try to talk once. Grabbed me rather forcefully, the Colonel saw and strolled over, casually asking if I was free because he needed my help with his computer. I went with him, and Hanson couldn't do anything about it. I think maybe he, Daniel or Teal'c, maybe all of them, warned him because he didn't try again. Then a few months after that we went to find out what had happened to his team. He was playing God, working the people to death. The colonel got caught trying to help another officer and so I let myself be captured, thinking that I could get to him. He kept me there and got me to turn on a device for him. It's a long story, but his plan went south, thanks to SG-1, and he decided if he was going anywhere he was taking me with him. He was going to kill me with him. We stopped him, Hanson died."
"My god," Quinn exclaimed. "Sam, I'm so sorry that you had to go through something like that. Didn't you ever fight back, when you were still together? I mean, you're a level 3, that's pretty good. I've seen your fighting."
"He was actually better. He was taller, heavier. He was also the man I was in love with. I guess I didn't want to fight back. I tried blocking his punches, sometimes worked…" she sighed, and Jonas wondered if she was crying. It was getting dark, so he couldn't really see. He lifted up his arm, so that she could lean against him if she wished, and eventually, she did. They hadn't really ever been this close before, but they were becoming good friends fast. He rested her arm around her neck and let it dangle over her shoulder. Pretty soon she was sat back up, wiping her eyes quickly and plastering a small smile on her face. "I'm sorry, that was not…"
"Sam? You never told me his name," Jonas thought. "What was he called?"
"Hanson, Jonas Hanson," she replied.
"Is that one of the reasons you found it hard, in the beginning, with me?" Jonas wondered, not blaming her one bit if it was. "Saying my name…his name…reminded you of him, of all those bad memories?"
"I think…yeah…maybe. I'm sorry, Jonas. It wasn't your fault that my crazy ex shared your name. I may have been a little off with you for that. And of course there were the obvious reasons, I was upset about Daniel and everything…" she trailed off. "So now you know. On the anniversary of his death I always feel weird. Relieved that I didn't marry him, sad that he's dead but sickly happy at the same time…I get such mixed feelings and I don't know what I think about it. It can be hard."
"I bet it is." Jonas gave her a warm smile, patting her on the knee, and she smiled back at him, and they sat there in a friendly silence until the others returned. Sam felt better for talking, and realised what a wonderful friend she had in the new team member. She hoped that he would always be there.