Disclaimer: If you recognize it, it does not belong to me.

IMPORTANT NOTICE PLEASE READ

this chapter depicts child abuse. Extreme child abuse. Child abuse that is often deadly and sadly does happen to real children every day. I felt it fit well with Petunias character and even Walburgas. I needed this for character progression and to give a look into what might have made these characters change in very negative ways. If you have any experience with child abuse, especially involving water and baths (Not sexual abuse but using baths in ways that cause harm such is scolding water) please keep this in mind while reading. I dont want to trigger anyone but i felt it was needed for my story line.

HHH

Harry was tired and stressed. The twins had given her a lot to think about but in a positive way. She didn't expect the support nor there very serious statements on how the kids she was now raising had potential of being better than the adults they had become. There statements had lessoned the worries she had by a large amount. They seemed so sure that the kids could be good. Of course she didn't let on her worries about herself. Harry had had a rough childhood. One that seemed to mimic the cruelty done to the children. How was she different? Was she damned to end up like Voldemort? Was it really as much of a choice as Dumbledore seemed to think it was? That she just chose to be good or there was something inherently better. Being a Gryffindor or a light witch changed who she was. Peter Pettigrew turned bad and from what Sirius said, he had had a good life. Was teaching the kids acceptance enough to change them? They were so sweet and innocent at the moment. If there was not a chance to change them, would they have even de-aged.

As much as the twin's support helped, the delivery of a number of letters after breakfast had reminded her of all her worries and stresses. The letters from Dumbledore making demands and asking what her parents would think of her raising death eaters and forgoing her education and being a parent at 16, and Hermione's saying she was ruining her life, Ron saying all of the above adding a lot of comments on evil death eaters and how you cannot save dark wizards.

Then letters from Gringotts reminding her that she wasn't just raising children, she was raising a little future lord. Two of them. Which left their vaults and family votes and everything accompanying it in her hands. Not to mention the state of her own. Sirius had made a lot of provisions even with how sick he had been, even more when he found out about the de-aging offer allowing her some peace from those vaults but that still left the Lestrange vaults. It seemed that once one thing was done, ten more appeared.

Luckily, despite deep down taking them in being the cause of so much stress and worry, the kids were easy to get along with. They were children and she was sure once they were more comfortable, she'd have to deal with tantrums and fights with them but right now, they were painfully well behaved. She was constantly worried when they were too quiet but only found them sitting playing quietly instead of getting into something.

She spelled the room to alert her if they left it since sitting around stressing about the letters did no one any good. She needed to do something that would keep her mind busy. The war ending at Hogwarts left them without summer work so she decided to do something productive. Baking. At the Dursleys, baking and cooking was an escape even though it was a chore. While they were never happy with what she made. Often insulting and belittling her for it but at the same time, she'd ease drop on their guests and get nothing but approving statements, which Aunt Petunia soaked up. Her aunt couldn't cook to save her life but took the praise given to Harry. It was something she was good at. Something that she found comforting.

Now that the Dursley's were out of her life, she enjoyed it even more. She loved to cook even in the unfamiliar wizard style kitchen. She got to eat her creations and choose what she wanted. Control what she had. No one else got to dictate what she made. If she wanted to, she could eat junk all day every day. She didn't but it was the fact that she got to control it that made it better. Seeing how out of control her life was, she enjoyed something being entirely under her own control. Plus the kids seemed to love the things she made so stress baking and cooking was a big hit with them.

She also loved anything sugary and chocolatey and if she wanted it, she would have to make it herself or buy it and escaping to Diagon for treats was not an option. So she decided that she was going to make sweets. She had the ingredients luckily since getting so many children to a store would be a hassle. It was something she could order over owl and had been doing so.

It only took a few minutes for her to notice the two oldest boys peaking around the corner. She faked unawareness for a bit longer watching amused out of the corner of her eye. They seemed to get more and more curious at what she was doing. Knowing what she did about their families she knew that they probably never had seen a human cook. It would have been left to elves. "You know, you can come in," she said causing them both to jump startled. She bit back a snicker, Sirius would have been awful proud of her for that. It might have been a bit mean but the prankster her godfather was liable to become would enjoy it.

Of course, children taught that they should be seen and not heard were a bit worried about being caught spying by an adult. "Are we in trouble," Rodolphus asked worriedly. "We didn't mean to spy on you."

They very much meant to spy on her, but she let that go with a laugh. "I'm just baking," Harry said. "Why don't you boys help me."

"What's baking," Sirius asked approaching her. She hated to see any child fear her but knew it would take time for them to be comfortable asking for things or approaching on their own.

"It means I'm making cookies and cakes and all that wonderful stuff."

Their wide-eyed shock nearly made her laugh. They looked so unbelieving about that. As shocked as they were at the toy store. The idea must have been even more foreign then she expected it to be for them. "You can make them," Rodolphus asked in awe. "I thought only house elves could."

"Nope, I can too," Harry assured him. They'd need to get used to not having house elves waiting on them all the time. She was not comfortable with house elves entirely. Her experiences have been dobby, kreacher and winky, perhaps not the best experiences though she adored Dobby. The idea of them doing everything was uncomfortable to her. She preferred to do it herself. "Why don't you two help me?"

"Okay," Sirius said as both nodded quickly. Both were always wanting to help with something or other. If there was an opportunity to help, they would do so. She feared they were trying to earn their keep, something she had been guilty of. Once again making her sick to see the similarities between them. What could she have become if not for just pure spite. Would she have changed sides to protect herself from the abuse.

Quickly seeing the boys worried glances, she shook her head clear. "I've got two mixes going," Harry said offering them a reassuring smile. "So why don't each of you stir."

"What is it," Sirius asked hesitantly looking into the bowl. It probably looked like muck to a child with no experience.

"You've got brownie mix and Rudy has Cupcakes."

"Chocolate, smells like chocolate," Sirius said sniffing slightly.

It reminded her of the times Sirius had entered a room grinning. "I smelled chocolate' being excitedly exclaimed. Though she doubted he still had padfoot's extra senses. The familiarity was like a punch to her. Sometimes she forgot who they were because they were so different. It was a reminder that while she liked little Sirius a lot, she still lost the adult version. "Exactly, chocolate cupcakes," She offered putting on a smile for them. Best the not see signs of her internal thoughts.

"What's in oven," Sirius asked mixing away as she showed him how to do so to ensure he knew what to do, especially so he held the bowl as she knew from experience that that could be messy. "A cake and when it is cool you can help me decorate it."

The excitement on their faces made it easy to get lost in the actions instead of her own head. She explained what she was doing so they would understand, and they listened carefully. They got even more excited over the fact she let them lick the spoons clean something Dudley often did but she had never been allowed to. A part of them hesitated but excitement over chocolate overwrote the hesitance especially as Harry joined in.u

By the end of it the boys were wearing more chocolate than what went into the treats, but they seemed beyond happy and excited. It turned into a good experience after all which she was relieved at. Still, looking at them made it very apparent that they needed baths. Cleaning charms was not enough. It really should have already happened but that was a big step. Still, it couldn't be ignored anymore. "Okay I think we all need baths," Harry decided out loud.

She was not expecting pure fear in both boy's eyes. "No bath no bath," Sirius said nearly shaking in fear. He looked so scared she felt sick. "Please Miss Harry, I be good. I promise. Please."

Harry crouched down so she was Sirius's height. "What's wrong buddy, being bathed isn't that scary."

"I be good pomise."

"Siri your big, don't cry," Rodolphus said seriously looking like he was preparing for war. "I ready Miss Harry."

What was going on? Is there something she missed or failed to understand? How had the happy giggling children changed so quickly. Was there something that she missed? She wanted to instantly say okay she'd use charms, but she couldn't. They couldn't go without baths. Not entirely. She knew she needed to understand now not later. "What's wrong with taking a bath? If you don't tell me I can't make it better."

"Hot, it burns...hurts," Sirius sniffed shaking slightly. "I be good. No baff pwease. No get dirty gain. No baff." His speech turned more childish in his fear. No longer precise and practiced.

Harry's mind went back to remembering her aunt bathing her, shoving her in scolding hot water and scrubbing her with a bristled brush for being filthy after being locked in and soiling herself. Other times it would be weeks between baths, and she'd do the same for her being filthy. Up till she was eight, far too old to be bathed by someone, her aunt still put her through the demeaning torture, then it was pure cold showers, she'd shut off the hot water to guarantee it, so cold it hurt especially in winter. She remembered crying and pleading not to have to take a bath and being called a freak for it. Dudley mocking her. The kids mocking her for being dirty.

But this wasn't about her. It was about the kids in front of her. How could she reassure them? "Sirius, it will be okay. I promise I won't make the water hot," Harry said gently. Sometimes she forgot they weren't brothers and could see Rodolphus was confused about the heat. So, he had a different trauma over baths perhaps? How did she handle that? "Rudy, why don't you like to bath. Is it because the water was too hot."

"I'm not a baby, I can do it...I won't be scared miss Harry"

That broke her heart even more. "Being scared is okay," Harry said gently. "Look, we will do it together, we will use the big tub in my room, Rabastan and Bella too. It will be okay, can you boys trust me?"

They hesitated but Harry collected all the children and brought them upstairs. She filled the tub and added some of the bubbles she had bought when they were out. She remembered always wanting to have a bubble bath.

"No bath, no bath," Bella shrieked struggling to get away. "NO. NO. NO."

"Shh love," harry said gently as she got her undressed. "Sirius it's okay, I promise, boys climb in."

Bella was still shrieking sobbing. Sirius took a shaky breath but climbed in. Cringing as if expecting pain before looking confused. "It's not hot," he said softly. "Feels nice. No burn."

"Nope, its warm enough to get you clean and cool enough for it not to hurt," Harry said trying to explain so he wouldn't be scared anymore. "Baths can be very nice. See there is even bubbles. Rudy, can you climb in too."

He did so hesitantly. He was pleasantly surprised and settled in but still looked extremely apprehensive. Harry plopped a struggling Bella into the water and the tears slowly stopped as she settled into the water. Maybe when she realized it didn't hurt? Did her parents treat her the same or did her aunt once bath her? She couldn't let herself think about that, she had children in water. She needed to focus on them especially since this was a master bath and quite large and deep if it filled too far. She scooped up Rabastan next and put him in. He didn't struggle at all, so he didn't have the same hesitance as Rodolphus did. In fact, he was super excited for the water which was a relief as she carefully wiped away Bella's tears.

With a wave of her wand, the bath toys she bought appeared and she plopped them in the bath. "We get to play in the bath," Rodolphus asked surprised.

"Yep, bath time is play time," Harry promised sitting on the side. She grabbed a cloth and began lathering it with soap giving one to each of the older boys to scrub up while she got the younger two clean.

Rabastan slapped the water splashing her and Rodolphus stared bright eyed worried, "He didn't mean it," he said quickly.

Harry however just gently splashed back getting giggles from the two-year-old. Rodolphus was always quick to try to protect his brother. How was he not a Hufflepuff in school? Loyal was the trait their house was supposed to be strongest in and he had it in spades. "He's just playing Rudy, he is a toddler, they splash and make messes. I'm not mad."

"You're not," he said hesitantly clearly needing the reassurance

"Nope," She said poking him in the nose with bubbles getting giggles from the stoic five year old. "See, baths can be fun."

Sirius grinned as she helped him scrub his back, "it don't hurt."

"Nope," Harry said understanding the shock. At his age she would have been just as shocked at the lack of pain. A sickening fact but truth. "We don't hurt each other in this house. If something hurts you, we should find another way. No hitting, no hexing, no burning in hot water."

"No hold head under," Rodolphus asked hopeful

Harry let in a sharp inhale of breath horrified but tried to give him a reassuring look. "No, I will never hold your head under water, I might get you to lay back to get the soap out or poor water on your head to get out soap but I will never hold your head underwater. Did someone do that to you?"

"Mother," Rodolphus said solemnly. "Boys supposed to be strong not scaredy babies and I never be a good Head of house if I'm a whinny baby, teach me a lesson cause I was bad."

Harry kissed the top of his head, "Rodolphus, I will never do that to you." She wished he'd believe her words but she doubted he would. She'd show him though. Over time. Whatever it took.

"Even if I'm scare of the water like a big baby. Lords can't be scared."

"I'm a lady," Harry reminded gently. She could see that being pushed on the kid, but it was ridiculous. Gryffindors can't be scared. She was scared of a lot of things. She was the girl who lived she couldn't be scared. Everyone got scared. Some just hid it better than others. She hated the idea that kids were told they couldn't get scared. "I get scared sometimes."

"Really," he asked surprised.

"Yep all the time really," Harry said though she rarely admitted it. Fred and George were right. She needed to teach them and have them grow up in a way she wished to grow up. She wished while in school, someone, anyone acted as if it was okay that she was scared. Maybe then she would have been more likely to ask for help or reassurance. "But what you need to do is when you get scared, come to me and I'll do my best to make it better, even if that means just giving you a big old hug."

"I like staying with you," Rodolphus said pushing the boat around the top of the water amazed. "Can we stay forever. Mommy never baked or played or let me play. Lords don't play. I don't like being a lord."

"You will still be my little lordling," Harry teased gently but it was heartwarming to hear that he wanted to stay since this was done without the children's input. "You both are but Lords can play and have fun too. Being a lord is a lot of work," she said honestly. "But at home and with friends and family, you can play and have fun."

"Really," Sirius asked surprised stopping his playing with the rubber ducky. "I can still play when I'm a Lord."

"Yep," Harry promised. Screw what people thought. If they wanted to play as adults instead of being serious and cold like the other lords and ladies, people of high standing then she would insure they felt comfortable with that very thing. "As much as your little heart desires."

"Wicked," he said giving her a bright dashing grin reminding her of the old Sirius.

Not long later, she got the kids out of bath, dried off and dressed. The emotional upset and excitement of the day had them sleepy to the point almost directly after supper they passed out and she carefully carried each and every one of them to bed. She wasn't sure what she was doing but clearly, she could do better then their horrible parents. Better then the Dursleys. She could be a better guardian then them.

HHH

Fred and George arrived via floo wanting to check on Harry. They had heard about the letters sent by there idiot brother and everyone else and wanted to check on her to see how she was doing. They were slightly surprised seeing Harry curled up on the sofa. "Heya Harry, kids asleep?" It seemed early for the kids to be asleep but they didn't know what time kids normally went to sleep.

Harry nodded looking near tears shocking them slightly. "Shit love, was today that bad of a day," George asked worriedly. "Or was it the letters? We heard they wrote to you, but we didn't know it would be this bad?"

Harry couldn't stop herself from bursting into tears. The twins shared horrified looks since it was very rare for the strong girl to cry over anything let alone cry so hard. Neither had any idea what to do. . "Merlin Harry, what happened," Fred asked not knowing what to do.

"It's not fair, it's not fair..." Harry admitted finally.

That was a very broad topic considering the thousands of things in her life that wasn't fair at all. "What's not fair?"

"There parents were such horrid people," She choked out. It made her so sick to think about. The fear on their faces. The acceptance as Sirius went to step into the tub he thought would burn him. Now that they weren't in front of her and she was no longer focused on reassuring her, the whole experience hit her hard. "They are just babies. How...why didn't their parents love them? Why didn't my aunt love me...it's not fair."

Gorge pulled her into a hug letting her sob on his shoulder. "What happened."

it took harry a moment to calm down, "We were baking, and the boys got too dirty for cleaning charms, they all needed a bath. They needed one before this, but I was nervous about trying to bath so many kid's so we've just been using charms. Sirius bagged me, he begged me to not have to have a bath and Rodolphus, he looked so scared. When I tried to put Bella in the bath, she screamed like I was murdering her..."

Both twins who while they were not always their mother's favorite child, had no real experience with abuse. Neither could understand why a child could be scared of a natural part of the day. Kids got dirty and had baths "Why," Fred asked. "It's just a bath. Why would they be scared of a bath?" They wanted to understand, to help but they really didn't get why it was such a big deal.

"It's not though," Harry said wiping her eyes. "I remember being so scared to go in the bath, I'd cry and I'd bag not to have to because it hurt so bad...and just, they are babies and and...it just hit me."

"Why did a bath hurt," George asked almost afraid of the answer.

"Aunt Petunia, used to turn on the water pure hot and toss me in and scrub me with this bristle brush and shove my head under to wash out the soap. It hurt so bad, and I thought...I used to think it was my fault, that she had to because I was dirty and wrong but...there is nothing wrong with those kids upstairs. They are good kids. I know they did bad things in the future of their live's but they are good kids."

"She did that," George asked absolutely horrified. Not just the idea of the kids but that someone did that to Harry.

Harry had never admitted that to anyone but like usual, the twins were able to draw out her answer. "Yeah, till I was like eight then she'd shut off the hot water so I couldn't use it. Waste money on me," Harry said shaking slightly at the memories. "Sirius's mom, she did the same as my aunt," Harry said wishing that they had done worse than burn the portrait of that fowl women. "He was afraid the water was going to be too hot and he was shocked, he was shocked that the cloth I used didn't hurt."

Both redheads felt sick at the idea any human being could do that to another person let alone a child. "Merlin Harry," George said.

"And Bella, she was so scared, she is a baby and she was terrified. Screamed hot hot, no bath, no hurt Trixie."

"And Rodolphus?" They were afraid of the answer with what they were hearing.

Harry wiped the tears from her face but nearly cried again remembering how the sweet little boy reacted. "HIs bitch of a mother, used to hold his head under water, he was trying so hard to be brave and stoic and he was so scared," Harry choked out especially as she remembered how he tried to defend Rabastan. "I felt like a monster making them take a bath. They looked at me with such fear in their eyes. I...I think Rudy was scared of the water, his head went under or something and apparently Little Lords aren't scared of anything and his mother used it as a lesson, because he wasn't allowed to be a baby or scared or cry. He kept trying to act like a grown up, I won't be scared Miss Harry. As if I would punish him for being scared and they were shocked that there were toys and bubbles and playthings, that they were allowed to play. Rabastan, he splashed me. He is only a baby and Rodolphus, he tried to go in front of his brother. Said how he didn't mean to, as if I'd punish a baby for splashing me. It's not fair. Why...why do people do it. I don't understand. How can you look at a toddler and see a monster. That's what my aunt looked at me like. Like I was a monster. A disappointment, a freak. Even knowing what they became, who they became. I can't look at them and treat them like it. How can people hurt little children?" She didn't understand but neither did they. It seemed so wrong to them on every level. The amount of abuse they faced. That Harry faced. They didn't understand why it happened either.

"I don't know," George said holding her in an attempt to provide comfort to his friend as Fred did the same from her other side. "It's not fair Harry. It's not fair and it's not right. No one should have done that to them or you."

"I can't make it better for them," Harry said. She could reassure them. She could do differently but that didn't make up for what happened to them. It didn't fix the abuse they faced, "I can't..."

"You did Harry, you listened," Fred said. "I'm sure you fussed over them and made bath time fun..."

"Yeah, but they were so scared," Harry choked out. Unable to get that fear out of her head. "And I still made them get in because I didn't know what else to do."

"But you worked through it," Fred offered knowing that she made the best choice that she could. He had no doubt that she did everything in her power to make things as good as she could for them. "Even though it was unbelievably tough on you too."

"I don't know if I can do this...what if I mess it up?"

"Harry, you're probably the best person for the job because sadly you know exactly what they've been through, you can understand and most importantly, you will never treat them like your aunt did you." It sucked that she understood but she did. That could only help with the situation though they wished a thousand times over that she didn't understand.

"What if I become like they did," Harry asked. "If...being so broken...that's what made voldemort, it's what clearly made them."

The idea was so outlandish to them. Harry Potter Evil. Not the girl who lived but the girl who was gentle kind and patient. The friendly girl who always tried to have a kind word. The idea that she was capable of becoming evil like Voldemort was impossible. "And where Bella, Rudy and Rabastan not to mention Riddle became evil, you and Sirius became good," Fred reminded. "There was clearly a turning point, a choice. An action. Something that twisted them."

"Dark magic," Harry said remembering what Sirius, adult Sirius had said about his cousin. "Bellatrix learnt dark magic from out of the cradle nearly, Sirius said her father forced her to learn and would punish her if she didn't."

"And it twisted her. Probably similar to Riddle and even the Lestrange's. They may have chosen to use black or dark magic and in doing so, it twisted the dark part inside of them we all have," George said. "But this time, they won't have to resort to using dark magic. Because they got you to protect them and teach them right and wrong."

"But I keep thinking how easy it would have been..."

"But you had Sirius and you still have us, that's a difference, Sirius had James Potter and the Maurauders. That's what changed their paths love. Family and friends, someone willing to step in and be the strong one. Someone who was that voice saying that there was another path. You've already proven to be better then Riddle, better then most. It was possible. Maybe…maybe you could have gone that way," The idea didn't feel right on any level for them. "But you didn't. And that's what matters. This thinking of what ids is going to drive you insane love."

She nodded not sure if it was enough but she'd have to accept it. Their was nothing else that she could do.