(A/N: Held too long with that one, didn't I? Terribly sorry. Well, here it is, the scene that nearly made me push the rating up. But it's not really anything, so…Just nookie being had. next part should be the epilogue to this story and the set-up for the next. Have I mentioned I tend to serialize?)
Susan found that she couldn't let go of Marcus' hand for more than a few minutes, or take her eyes off him at all. It made her feel entirely helpless, terrified he'd fade away if she stopped concentrating on him for more than a second. She could only remember one time she'd been like that- right after her mother killed herself. For months she wouldn't let her father out of her sight, latching on to him when he was there until he pushed her away, focused on his own grief, and going into fits of panic if he was away for more than a few hours. Therapy and shutting off her heart helped her get over the anxiety eventually, but it seemed to be back almost as powerfully now. In a way, the slight rush to increase physical contact to a maximum, beyond the obvious pleasures, was a way to help her regain control of herself, maybe even calm that irrational fear. The fact that he looked about as nervous as she felt helped in a perverse way. She drew him into her quarters and close to her. Now that she allowed herself to indulge, touching him felt so good she wonder why she'd waited.
"Relax." She whispered, "You'll be fine. If it helps, I haven't done this in a while either." In fact, she hadn't been with anyone since Talia, and with a man in longer. No, she wouldn't think of Talia, or of any of her failed relationships. Too painful. She hoped she still remembered how it went.
"Yes, that's very helpful Susan." He fretted. "Shouldn't one of us know, at least?"
"Oh, something tell me you'll be a natural." She suddenly realized she could feel his anxiety and nearly dropped his hand like a hot iron. Instead she squeezed it again and bolstered her shields. "We'll take it slow. I might have a flow-chart somewhere that'll help."
He laughed, and it was good to make him laugh for a change, rather than the other way around. "I think I'll manage. If I remember my sordid youth correctly, we're both wearing far too much." He pulled her down to the bed, tossing away boots and cloak.
"Hmm…We are." She agreed. Rusty she might have been, but Minbari clothing, she discovered, were very easy to remove, and soon she had an impressive expanse of space-pale skin to stare at. He was thinner than she remembered. She took her time learning him until he blushed and looked away.
"Susan, you're looking at me like…Like I'm some specimen. Stop."
"I'm looking at a very handsome man who I'm about to screw until he's breathless." She corrected, letting her fingers trail where her eyes had been moments before. His eyes closed in pleasure.
'Oh." He said quietly, "That's alright then." Blindly he reached for her clothes, and she found he was as adept at removing them as at anything else she'd seen him do thus far. The bliss on his face, the sheer astonishment when he finally touched her, was almost laughable, but she held it in. She'd never slept with a complete virgin before, and wanted it to be as special as it could be.
Despite some awkward fumbling at first, it ended up being pretty special. Their bodies came together like a raging storm, weaving together perfectly, moving in tandem as the appropriate thunder and lightning crashed over them in waves. His touch was fire, hers ice, leaving lines they still felt a day later. It left them drained, sweaty, tangled in a mess of sheets and in each other. For a while, nothing mattered.
Susan became aware of the world around her again, twilight, warmth and a pleasant soreness in muscles she hadn't exercised in a while defining the moment. There was also the novel sensation of arms around her, and she lay there for a while, reveling in their comfort. Marcus came out of his little doze minutes later to find her sketching shapes on his chest with the tip of her finger. "Morning. Or evening, rather." She kissed him briefly. He pushed closer, stretching the kiss and deepening it.
"Mmm…Good evening." He was wearing a silly grin. Apparently he liked it too. His hands slid up and down her sides languidly. "You're still here."
"So are you. Planning to stay?"
"Oh, I'm sure I can do my job from here. Delenn wouldn't mind." His grin got wider, which seemed impossible.
She chuckled. "Fine, we'll leave. Eventually." Her hands moved lower, teasing and stroking, "Meanwhile, though-" His interest reawakened quite quickly, "They haven't come looking for us yet."
"Right." He nodded, exploring new territory that left her gasping with pleasure. Now that he'd discovered fascinating new ways to use bits of his anatomy, Marcus set to it with the fabled Ranger perseverance and curiosity. Soon they were both exhausted again, panting and quite unable to move anywhere.
"Enough." Susan rolled away with a groan, "I'm beat."
"Me too." Marcus admitted, disappointed that his failing stamina kept him from further attempts. He had to acknowledge, though, that he had absolutely nothing left and not even a Shadow could force him to move. "We can go again later though, right?"
She chuckled, "Yes, we can go again later. I may have created a monster." She stretched and grimaced, "The bed's sticky, and so am I." Somehow she managed to sit, then stand up and slowly move away from the bed. Marcus, looking at her, made an odd noise, and she turned to look at him over her shoulder, "What?"
"You're beautiful." He said simply, rising and following her, kissed up her neck. Somehow they both ended up squashed inside the shower, and found it fit two, but very tightly. "You're the most beautiful woman I know."
"So you've told me," Her hands were as warm as her voice, smoothing soap on his back. She remembered the early days after his arrival on the station, which sparked a question she thought needed to be asked. "Why?"
"Well, I guess I haven't met enough other women. Not that many pretty ones on mining colonies, you know." She slapped his butt lightly.
"I'm serious, Marcus. Why me?"
He turned to face her, serious as she could've wished. "Asking questions of one's heart is really very confusing, Susan. You're…you're you, and that's all I could ever ask." He kissed her again. "The Rangers have taught me the three basic rules of life- respect, compassion and delight. When I first came to Babylon 5, I notice you- you do tend to stand out, you know. Respect you had plenty, and compassion, but-" Cupping her face in his hand, he forced her to look him in the eye, "You had no delight, Susan. I wanted to show you delight, to make your life just that bit easier. I love you."
"I believe you." It was the biggest compliment she could give him, "And I trust you. And I love you too." For some odd reason, tears filled her eyes and mingled with the shower water. She didn't bother to wipe them away. "Now turn around, I'll do your hair." He laughed, but obeyed, then returned the favor. It felt almost homey. Soon they were both clean and dry and clothed in the remains of whatever they had strewn around the room.
"What now?" Susan asked, pulling the sheets off her bed and hunting for socks at the same time, finding one under the other. "Do we go out?" Do we continue this, become a couple and face the world, or do we move on and pretend it never happened? She didn't want to bring it up or have to talk about it, but it was only fair to ask. She knew what she wanted, for the first time in a long time. She wanted to be with him, grab her chance at happiness away from the mess EarthForce had become. Maybe even rebuild what was left of her life. Marcus thought about it for a while, than half-smiled.
"Short term? We go out, brave the great unknown and several people who'll be greatly amused by us as a couple. Long term? That depends on the next couple of days, I guess. We'll see." He didn't want to move too fast again, or scare her away. Marcus wanted long term. For the first time in his life he found himself considering starting a family. The last thing he wanted was for Susan to go back to Earth and her career, but he didn't say it. It was her life, after all.
"Sounds good. One day at a time." Waiting for something to break and end it badly, but it was better than the alternative. Maybe, just maybe, she could enjoy it this time. The longer term put aside for the moment, she turned back to the here and now. "It's pretty late." it was fully dark outside, and the short Minbari days were playing havoc with her routine. "Would you- d'you want to stay the night?" She didn't think she could bear seeing him leave.
His smile lit up the room and made her heart expand. "I'd like that. A lot. But I need to pick some things up from my quarters first." He grabbed her into a sudden embrace, kissing her hard, "Think you can manage?"
"I'll live." She managed a smirk, "What's half an hour without you now?"
As it turned out, it was almost enough to drive her out of her mind with worry. The moment he was out the door and out of sight, she started pacing nervously, her heart beating far too fast. She tried to force herself into calmness, keeping as busy as she could with tidying the room. Nevertheless, fifteen minutes later she was at the very end of her reserve of calm, just about ready to go after him. A vague sense of duty and a more focused burst of misplaced pride made her call Sheridan's office instead. Despite the lateness of the hour he answered it himself, which didn't in the least surprise her. His face lit up in a brilliant smile when he saw her.
"Susan- we were getting worried. How was lunch?"
"Cold, by the time we got to it, but productive. How was yours?"
"Pleasant enough." He was dying of curiosity but holding back politely- well, almost politely. "So, how's Marcus?"
"None of your business." She wasn't about to share her personal life with him, not when he looked like an eager schoolboy. He had his own love-life, and didn't need hers. Wait- when had she and Marcus become 'love-life'? "Keep out of it."
"Oh, come on!" He tried to pull off the innocent look again, "You're still alive- is he?"
"He's alive." She replied sourly, "And I think we're fine. I hope we'll be fine." If he ever came back, that is. If he wasn't a hallucination, if this wasn't just a dream. Susan grabbed hold of herself before panic could set in again. "We talked."
"Good, good." Sheridan wanted more details- but he wasn't about to get them. She hardened her expression and he retreated gracefully without asking anything else. "Another thing I wanted to ask you, Susan- how long will you be staying for?"
"I've got a couple of months off." She answered vaguely, uncertain of how long she wanted to stay. She thought she knew where this was going, and her suspicions were almost confirmed at his next words.
"I'd like to have a few words with you about that, in private. Tomorrow morning, maybe?"
"No problem." And right then, she'd take him up on almost anything he offered her. But later, she had more important things to worry about. "Whenever you like." She kept sending nervous looks at the door- where was he? Was he staying away on purpose to scare her? No, Marcus would never do something this cruel, for all his teasing.
"Come in around nine, local time?"
"Sure." She nodded. If she woke up on time. But yes, having something to occupy her time and thoughts would be good. "We really do have a lot of catching up to do."
"Yeah, we do." He nodded, still grinning like a loon, "Listen, I'm glad you two worked things out but I have to go. See you in the morning?"
"Sure." He commed off and she was alone with the silence again. Twenty five minutes and counting. Distress was turning into anger- maybe he was taking so long on purpose.
Then he was suddenly there, and she had no time to express her anger. His arms encircled her, his mouth on hers, overflowing with apologies between one frantic kiss and the next. A babbled explanation about being waylaid by old friends wanting to greet him and trainees wanting to make sure he was real followed. She was too relieved to be angry, to happy to care about both of them acting insanely. For just that short time, the world was entirely outside their spheres of interest. She still allowed him to apologize for a while before she stopped him with another, slower kiss. "It's okay. Relax, I'm just happy you're here." She was, she realized, in love after all. "Let's get some sleep."
He pulled her down with him, "I sent a message to Delenn with one of the Rangers."
"I checked in with John while you were out." She replied, "I have a meeting with him in-" She checked the timepiece and winced, "Six hours. Sleep."
"Becoming soft in your old age?" He grinned at her and she slapped his arm lightly.
"I'm on vacation, I'm entitled. And the days here are messing up my head."
He nodded at that, "I know. Took me over a week to adjust when I first got here, but we were always tired during the first weeks of training so I didn't even notice until my first mission."
The need for sleep faded as a new path to explore appeared. "Tell me about it. How you joined the Rangers, your life before, everything."
"Only if you tell me about you. I did my checking, but nothing more than your Earth Force record." He admitted shamelessly, and she couldn't blame him. She'd done the same for him, after all. "Turnabout's fair play."
"It's boring, but okay." She'd find a way to skirt around the issue of her telepathy somehow- the relationship was too fragile to risk it with that particular revelation yet. And she wanted to know about him- his family, his life, his likes and dislikes, everything. Sleep was postponed for a while.