Hello all! Happy New Year's Eve! It's so early right now, but I thought since I'm up, I may as well write the fourth chapter seeing as I won't have time to do it later on. I am feeling kind of embarrassed right now too. Last night, I was talking to a friend of mine on the phone and it was about, oh, 1am. The phone suddenly cuts out and I wait for awhile and she doesn't call back. So I figure, what the hell, I'll call her back. I didn't think anybody was awake at her house. So I did and her Mom answered and she sounded kind of pissed. And I was like, uh, sorry for calling so late. And she was like; yeah it is kind of late. I'll tell her you called. GOODBYE. Haha, so anyways, that was my evening. So, enjoy this chapter. Also, don't drink and drive.

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Isn't Something Missing?

-Stan's POV-

The cool wind gave me comfort across my burning head. I think my fever was coming back. Why were Moms always in denial when their kids were hurt?

I had really broken Wendy's heart. I knew that. I felt bad about it but I just didn't feel the same way I did before. I can't live a lie. I'm be killing myself if I did.

-Flashback-

I walked up to the familiar house and rang the doorbell.

"Hi, Stan!"

"Hey, Wendy."

"What do you want to do today?" Wendy asked, planting a kiss on my cheek. It had taken years for me to stop vomiting every time she did so much as look at me. I was glad, too; I couldn't stand the embarrassment I faced each time. I'm pretty sure she was glad, too.

God, Wendy was pretty. No, not pretty. Gorgeous. She always had been. With all her long, black hair and dazzling blue eyes. Almost any guy would kill to be me. And all because I had Wendy hanging off my arm.

I had liked her ever since I was eight. Plenty of things had happened over the years to get in the way of us, but it always worked out in the end.

Get a hold of yourself, Stan. You can do this.

"Um, I was wondering if we could go and talk somewhere. There's something I have to tell you."

She looked a bit confused, but smiled. "Sure, Stan."

I led her over to the couch in the family room. Holding her hands in mine, I took a few deep breaths and decided it would be better just to spit it out.

That's when I puked.

Of all the embarrassing, mortifying, moments, this one took the cake.

Actually, Wendy was pretty cool about it. When we were younger, she used to let out a little squeal of disgust, but now, she got up and got me some napkins and a glass of water.

Why am I doing this?

Wendy was everything I ever wanted in a relationship. She was smart, beautiful, sweet, and political … well, maybe I didn't care about politics, but still.

"Wendy, I think we should break up."

Wendy's eyes went wide and she looked at me in horror.

"But, why? Was it something I did?"

Was it something she did?

"No, Wendy. You didn't do anything wrong. I just need to be on my own for awhile. There are so many things I'm not sure about."

Without another word, Wendy ran from the family room and down the hall. I heard a door slam and then complete silence followed by wild sobbing.

In this situation, most guys would follow the girl out, apologizing and promising to maintain a friendship.

Me, I didn't want to be friends with Wendy. I didn't want Wendy.

I wanted Kyle.

-End of Flashback-

I got up from where I had been sitting on the ground and swiped at the snow on the butt of my pants. I headed home thinking there wasn't much of a point in staying here. My last two classes after lunch weren't all that important to me right now, and I'd just tell Mom I was feeling dizzy and sick to my stomach.

Walking home, I realized that the sun was peaking through the grey clouds.

Maybe some of the snow will actually melt.

Going home was not a good idea. Mom fussed over me, practically pushing me into bed and forcing me to eat soup. I hate soup. I also hated seeing my Mom's worried expression. I was kind of lying about feeling sick. I mean, I felt sick but I probably could've toughed it out.

I slept for most of the afternoon and my dreams were filled with vivid and scary images.

A childhood nightmare.

I was falling farther and farther. Darkness drifted me in and out of consciousness. Kyle was gone. I lost him in my dream. Come back …

I awoke with a start and realized it was about six 'o' clock in the evening. My pillow was soaked with sweat and my face wore leftover tears. I was crying in my sleep?

I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes and leaned back against the headboard of my bed. What a strange dream that had been. It seemed so real.

"Stanley!"

Mom's voice shook me out of my thoughts and startled me.

"Uh, coming, Mom."

What now?

Taking small steps, I crossed my room and opened the door. I could feel Mom almost watching me at the bottom of the stairs. God, I hope I'm not in trouble.

I came to the top stair and sat down. Mom and … Kyle? Why was he here? Again? Not that I was complaining. It just seemed a bit strange for him to be visiting so often, especially after the fight we had today.

"Stan, I'm sorry to wake you, but Kyle said it was important that he talked to you."

I continued to look at Kyle, dumbfounded. Kyle was stubborn. He had too much pride to beg for forgiveness this way.

"It-It's okay, Mom. I was awake anyways." It satisfied her and she walked into the kitchen, leaving us to talk.

God, this was awkward. Kyle rubbed the back of his head and coughed. What the hell was wrong with him?

"Well, come up to my room and you can tell me whatever was so important." I turned around and walked up to my room and I could hear him following. I sat down in my desk, spinning slowly in the chair. He took a seat on the edge of my unmade bed.

He toyed with the zipper on his jacket for a moment or two and then spoke up.

"Look, Stan. I feel bad … no, not bad …horrible about what happened today. I had no right to be so rude to you. I appreciate your concern but nothing's wrong. You're my best friend and I'm sorry I brushed you off like that. Please, please, don't be mad at me."

I remembered my dream. I lost him. But why? Where did he go? Whatever, enough of this bullshit. If Kyle wouldn't tell me, I'd just have to trust him enough to do whatever was right.

"It's alright, Kyle. I-I'm not mad. Just, I want you to know that I'm always here if you need to talk."

He smiled, looking relieved. "I know. You always have been."

So, I had my best friend back. I hadn't lost him. I stood up from the chair and took a seat beside him on the bed.

"Just tell me you're okay."

Kyle looked surprised. "Of course I'm okay. What made you think I wasn't?"

I knew this would get us into another argument so I shook my head as in saying never mind.

He gave me a cute lopsided grin and spoke up again. "Stan, where did you go today?"

Uh oh. Goddamn, I had been absent for two afternoons now. Had I even called the office to let them know? I couldn't remember.

"I just felt sick. That's all. I went home so I could lie down."

He looked worried. "Maybe you should go to the doctor. I think you do have a concussion."

I thought so, too. It didn't matter. Whatever it was had cleared up a bit as I slept.

"I feel a lot better now. I'll be in school tomorrow … all day." I laughed to convince him.

He looked so thin. He almost looked sickly with his pale face and the large bags under his eyes.

We talked and laughed, making fun of Cartman for awhile before he had to head home.

Kyle, please don't be sick.

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Well, there's the fourth Chapter. The fifth one will be up soon. Just to let you know, you will find out what's wrong with Kyle in the next chapter! Stay tuned.