Chapter 3: Bringing Home Captain Keyes
Master Chief steps foot on the remains of Halo. "It feels like I was just here yesterday, spanking those Grunts, Brutes, and Elites. I filled them with so much pleasure. But I must move on. I can sense the spirit of Captain Keyes. I know he can sense my spirit too."
"Why are you giving me that blank stare? What in the fuck is wrong with you? IT'S NOT NICE TO STARE YOU HOLOGRAMED FUCK!!!"
"I've never seen you so concerned about Captain Keyes. What's the deal with you and him?"
"I mustn't tell you. Oh Cortana! How I wish you were a human so I could just lick you all up. I'd get you in the back seat, fogging windows up. OOOHHH!!!"
"You're scaring me Master Chief! We must move on now."
"Very well. You go first. If we cant be together, than I will improvise by getting hella horny looking at your sexy holographic image."
Master Chief and Cortana moved on. There signal on Captain Keyes beaker was getting stronger. They knew they were getting close. They rounded a bunch of corners, went under some tunnels with water leaks, and there they were, right back at the Pillar of Autumn were Captain Keyes had last disappeared. They entered the control room and saw Captain Keyes laying there. Master Chief threw down his weapons and ran over to Captain Keyes.
"CAPTAIN KEYES!!! I KNEW I'D FIND YOU! I HAVE BEEN SEARCHING FOR YOU FOR EVER! I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS MOMENT EVER SINCE I TOOK MY EYES OFF OF YOU!"
Master Chief grabs Captain Keyes hand and places it over his penis.
"OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!" grasps Master Chief.
"Stroke it faster Master Chief! Oh boy!!! YOU ARE THE MASTER! AND I AM THE CAPTAIN! MASTER AND CAPTAIN!!! MASTER AND CAPTAIN!!! MASTER AND CAPTAIN!!!"
"Let's get out of here baby. When we get back to the ship, I promise you a time you will never forget. I'm gonna be stroking, and licking, and banging, and popping you from behind! And that is just a taste of my appetizers!"
"I'M ABOARD!!!" shouts Captain Keyes.
So Master Chief and Captain Keyes walk off of the remains of Halo for the last time and head back for the ship, where a new generation of tapping, spanking, and popping from behind will begin.