Author's note:

Thank you to all who read and reviewed my fanfic!:) I appoligize if it wasn't so well written as English is my second langauage and I only speak it for 6 years XD;;

To my reviewers:

Karito- Zankyuu my friend:) ... for the first review:):):)And the bracket part too jejejejej XP... .. you WILL find 'chapter 2:confession' interesting... oh you will.... I think you might be shocked at the end of it (everyone will be!!! bwahahaha XP)

Ewan - Thank you for the nice review! Wow I'm actually admired? .. o.o

Mizu - Hehehe I agree XDDD He is so cute when embarassed:) nyahahha (im being mean to him ToT) Thanks for sticking with the fic!! :D I'll try not to dissapoint.

Allusho - I'm sorry that chapter 1 had so much long description and almost no dialogue, but unfortunatly I just -had- to mention -everything- about their relationship. I didn't wanna miss anything out. Because this is gonna be like the main KiruGon fic for me. So sorry I just had to write all the description I could. But luckily chapter 2 is mostly dialogue! And got a few humorous things in it too .... Even though personally I just -love- humor, this fic is Angst/Romance... so humor really isn't a main thing. But thank you for the review! I'll keep it in mind... I hope you enjoy the next chapters better

Warnings: PG (parental guidance) just in case of some 'heavy emotional content' or maybe some minor language. KiruGon(shonen-ai), occasional bad spelling (cuz I dont have a spell check on my computer ToT), OOC-ness, incoherency. But this chapter is interesting so READ! Bwahahhahaa! o.o

Disclaimer: HunterxHunter and all it's characters belong to Togashi Yoshihiro-sama. I however own the idea for this fic yaaaay im so proud!!! oh the sarcasm ....heheh....

I also don't own the song used in this chapter. "I want you to want me" - by NOFX

Chapter2: confession

"...I want you to want me

I need you to need me

I'm begging you to beg me

"I'd love---"

"ne Killua..." I heard him whine from the verandah. "Why did you turn off the music?"

"It was... distracting." I lied. Or rather 'misinformed' him. As I said before, I can no longer lie to Gon. And I -was- distracted; from my thoughts. But otherwise I had a speculation that the songs played on radio were chose deliberatly to make me jealous and annoy the crap out of me.

I hopped next to my dark haired friend on the verandah, stretching out my arms and legs to take on the appearance of calmness. A chilly summer breathe made it's way across once every minute or so, carrying my thoughts with it.

"The stars are really beautiful." he said wistfully

"Yeah. Such a clear sky tonight." I responded, sounding just as wisful.

The next moments were spent watching the stars in silence. Without a thought interupting the peacefulness of my mind... atleast until he started humming!!

"I'd love you to love me..."

"tatatata tatatata.."

"Gon!" I shouted a little too loudly.

"Eh?" he turned to me, startled.

"Oh...sorry" I gave him a wry smile and quickly hid my shameful face.

"Is something wrong Killua?" his expression was now worried and he still remained looking at me. Oh great. How could I spoil such a calm and peaceful evening?

"Do.... you really like that song?" I mumured inadvertently

"Hmm?"

"The one you were singing then."

"Oh... yea.. It's really catchy." he gave a light hearted laugh I couldn't fight the little smile forming on my face. Neither could I prevent the next words from slipping out. It felt as if I somehow was in a huge rush .. so I often spoke before I thought.

"Do you like the lyrics Gon?" Must have been a pretty random question.

"Ah well... I don't really know the words, but I guess it's umm..." he looked up at the sky, a strained expression on his face. He must have been trying hard to look for the right words. I can understand that feeling.

"...it's got cool rhymes!" he added finally. I was the one who lightly laughed this time. "Don't worry"

I was going to ask him 'Do those lyrics mean anything to you' but figured it was pointless carrying on the same subject for so long. So once again, I chickened out. I sighed inwardly. The lyrics echoing in my head and beating with the rhytm of my heart.

It really sucked.

I didn't want to remember the lyrics but I couldn't help it... I did want him to want me... needed him to need me...

Another moment of peacefullness of the mind. The smell of fresh air, crickets chirping in the distance, a silver moon slightly hidden behind a smokey grey cloud. The stars encircling the verandah as if we were floating in space. A moment silence, until...

Don't you realise you're missing another golden opportunity? Came that voice again; the little annoying thing living inside my head. Sometimes I just wanna scream 'ARGH! Leave me alone!!' I managed to keep myself calm. What is it now?

Tonight. the voice said. You won't get a chance like this often. Next time you wanna tell him, there might be people around. Kurapika, Leorio, Mito-san, or maybe Jin... or even worse, Hisoka! You've got Gon all alone now you know. Use the damn opportunity! He's right next to you. It's just... just... how do I start? the voice said. He's right next to you. It's just... just... how do I start?

"Gon..." I began

"Yes?" he turned to his side to face me. His expression was an absolute calm. and All I could see was his silhouette, his bright eyes and his 'keen to know' smile was lit up by the moonlight. It was fact, that Gon is a very beautiful person.

"We need to talk." I felt suddenly determined. I was really doing it. With my heart raced and andrenalin pumped though me I felt ready... or atleast I hoped.

"Yes."

"Yes?" I starred at my friend in surprise. "You mean... you have something to tell me?"

"I'm not sure." he said quietly. And just by saying that, he made me wonder about him all over again. Did he have something in mind? Does he want to confess too? Or am I being too hopeful? Is there no secret purpose. I knew this would drive me crazy if I didn't go on...

"Well you can go first." I offered him. Believing this was a way to gather more clues when in fact I was just playing chicken again. But just maybe, somehow, I still hoped I could get him to open up to me without blowing my cover. Like the sneaky cat I am.

"Actually... I don't have anything to say Killua. I'm just happy. That you were there on my birthday."

'You'... That was another ray of hope. It melted my heart and brain into mush. This hope... I grabbed this inanimate object and braced myself.

"N..ne, Gon." I asked nervously, but already the excitement was rising; mixing with anxiety and thousands of other emotions in a swirl of dizziness.

"..we-...you will always be my friend, right? I mean no matter what I say or do. No matter what happens. Will we always be best friends? Gon,--"

"Ofcourse Killua!" Gon, who has patiently listened to my little emotional plee, responded with an assuring grin.

"But.. I want you to promise Gon. I know you might think it's strange but please--"

"I promise." he cut me off just at the right time again. "But why do you ask this? What could possibly make us stop being friends?" He didn't know. But he would know soon. And I'll make sure to keep that promise fresh in his mind. Now it was almost safe for our friendship. If he decided to run away afterall, I would get back at him with that promise. But in any case, even if Gon is forced by this promise, I won't be able to force his opinions and feelings inside of him... I cannot do anything if they change.

Still, I must be cautious. I needed to ask him first.

"Gon... have you ever... loved anybody?" I managed to finally say with effort. I avoided his eyes, although, I might have been able to see the answer more clearly if I hadn't.

"Loved?" he questioned me, puzzled. "But ofcourse I have! I love aunt Mito, Grandma, my friends, my----"

"No Gon..." I cut him of this time. Sighing, I moved myself to lie on my back facing the boundless sky of stars. "Have you.... been in love?"

"In...love.." he reprised the words. I turned to face him now, throwing my arms in exasperation.

"Oh come on! You know don't you? Don't you know what being 'in love' means? It's like--"

"Yes I know." Gon asnwered simply and closed his eyes. A smile formed on his chubby little face that soon turned into a tiny smirk.

"I'm 13 Killua." I watched him attentively now, not knowing what unearthly things to expect next.

"...Do you really think I'm so stupid Killua?" his voice was a mix of sadness and cheekiness.

"No no! I didn't mean that Gon! I guess it's expected for you to know such a thing at your age." I smiled

"So uh... would you answer my question?" I faced the ground again, feeling the tension escape in my every word, my aura wavered as if I was terribly worn out from a battle. "have you... ever... been in love?"

"Ummm... I don't know..." Gon told "But.."

"But?"

"But...there was a time. This little girl, Mizuri-chan, from whale island. She was the only other kid on the island besides me, so we were always really close I suppose..." he paused. "Ah sorry. Did you want me to continue Killua?" .... "Killua?!"

"O..oh. I don't know - I mean you can go tell me ahead." I stammered. My sentences have become completely incoherent.

"But Killua?" I could hear concern in his voice again. "Why did you ask? Do you.. have someone that you like?"

"A..ah well I..."

"There is someone isn't there?"

Since when did Gon aquire so much foresight? It felt like I really didn't know so much about Gon. "Who is she, ne?" he winked at me and chuckled, oblivious to the whole drama that was just going on in here a second ago. I was sitting now, with my hands on my knees, my head down. "There is... no she." I answered coldly. "It's raining, Gon. We better go inside." I said gloomily

"Raining? No it isn't!"

I knew perfectly well it wasn't rain. It was salty drops of water falling from my face onto my hands, clutching my knees. I just had to say anything to get out of here. My body and soul wanted to take off running, but my heart couldn't.

"Killua..." a soft whisper came right to my ear. I tensed in surprise but when I realised Gon has wrapped his arms around me. I felt... totaly indescribable. This embrace was different from all the embraces I've ever gotten from Gon before. Maybe because the tension I felt earlier all melted away in an instant. I suddenly felt secure, safe, happy and relaxed in his arms. The warmness and tenderness spread through all of me. It was then that I tilted my head and reached out, involuntary. I didn't know what I was doing. All I could hear and feel was the steady heart beat, my mind was a swirl and the next thing I realised my lips were on his.

There was silence... that seemed to last for centuries and never end until...

"n...NO!" Gon snapped

I fell back, suddenly all the signs of life started to come back to me in a surge of waves. My heartbeat now thumped loudly against my head, my face flushed with fear.

"KILLUA!"

The way he looked at me.. it was completely different from any way he looked at me ever before. His eyes were narrowed and his eyebrows brought together until his entire face was squished into the tiniest possible space.

"NO..... KILLUA.... HOW COULD YOU?.. W...WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!!" he cried out.

My world came crashing down, shattered to pieces, as I watched him take off until he completely vanished into the black of the night.

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How was that? A suprise ending for the chapter!! hehehe how many of you expected that?XP

T.T in case some of you didnt get the ending, Killa-kins got rejected ....

But there's still 3 chapters right? Maybe it will all be right somehow :)

Please review!!! Your reviews might really help me make chapter 3 better:)

Zankyuu minna!!

Ryuko