Chapter XIV: I've Waited Forever

"Come on, Eryn… you can do it, honey," Legolas urged his less than a year old daughter. "Come on, honey." He held out his arms, unable to stop smiling.

"Go on, baby," Êlanna coaxed. "Go on."

The tiny child stood slowly, wobbling in every which direction to gain her balance. Her mother held her arms to help. With halting steps, she carefully walked towards her Ada. Each of the three steps she made she did with great pride before being scooped into his arms. She started to laugh, and so did her mother and father.

"I am so proud of you!" Legolas exclaimed, kissing her forehead and cheeks. Êlanna now stood next to him and he kissed her too. "Hannon lle."

Êlanna smiled and kissed him again when a falcon landed on the windowsill with a rolled piece of parchment tied to its leg with golden string. She removed the parchment and said, "It's for you, Legolas," upon seeing the Elven seal over it.

Legolas, still holding Eryn, accepted it and read it silently, his eyes growing more and more burdened.

"What is it?" Êlanna asked.

After a pause, he replied, "It's from my father. I've been called to go to Mordor as an ambassador."

"Mordor? Can't someone else go?" she asked, her hands beginning to tremble already. "What about your brothers?"

"They, too, are going. But it's a matter of safety in numbers."

Êlanna tried to hide her fear, but could not stop the flow of tears. She took Eryn and put her to bed in the next room then returned so that she and her husband could say what needed to be said.

"Êlanna," Legolas said sincerely, resting his hands on her shoulders, "if I do not do this then more people are going to die."

"But what if it's you? What if you…"

"I will not," Legolas answered, feeling her pain in the depth of his heart.

"How can you know that? They do not show mercy in the BlackLand, Legolas!"

"I know, Êlanna. But it is my duty to protect my people."

Êlanna knew he was right in everything he said, but trying to even venture the thought of not having him was tearing her apart. She knew that he understood how little of a chance they had of succeeding, but he was too proud and dutiful to shy away from it. At a loss of words and unable to stand the thoughts of Legolas' death, Êlanna took the parchment off the table and read it herself.

Legolas,

I regret to inform you that over ten Elves have been killed in the past seven days due to the restless violence of the Orcs that dwell within the forest. We cannot bear to lose more lives and I ask you to return to the palace and go with your brothers into Mordor to set agreements against this mindless slaughter. I understand how difficult this may be for you and will not think any less of you if you do not wish to go for I know that your family mean more than the world to you. If you decide to go with your brothers, please come as soon as time allows.

Love,

Your Father

Êlanna smiled slightly at how loving Thranduil could be even at the darkest of times.

"I am so sorry, Legolas," she said, pulling him into an embrace. He unconsciously hugged her back, struggling with wrapping his head around the news. "Legolas?"

"I have to go home," Legolas replied distantly, unsure of what he was really going to do and pulling away from his wife. "I have to be with them."

"Of course," Êlanna said.

Legolas left to prepare himself for the journey there, hoping that an Eagle would be gracious enough to help along the way. It took him an hour to prepare his weapons and saddle his horse, after which he went to Haldir and asked him to watch over Êlanna and Eryn. After all this he returned to his own home. The moon was already high; he would have to leave quickly. Before saying farewell to Êlanna he went to his daughter, who was sleeping now. He laid his hand over her stomach and kissed her forehead.

"Listen, honey. I love you. I do not say this because I do not think that I will not come back to you because I will. I promise. I'm going to be there for you always, do not forget that. I will come back to you," Legolas said before tears interrupted him. Parting from his daughter grieved him so much that he was almost in physical pain. He finally forced himself to leave the room, sparse tears falling down his cheeks. Returning to his and his wife's bedroom, he found Êlanna standing there, her silhouette accented by the light of the moon. Uneasy silence fell over them and neither moved for that would mean revealing how terrified they were, and not Legolas or Êlanna wanted to admit it. It was after a few minutes that Legolas finally took her in his arms and held her close, smelling the lavender in her hair.

"You cannot go!" she wept.

Legolas held her closer. "I must."

"What will I tell Eryn when she is older? When she realizes that her father was taken from her?!"

"You will never have to. I cannot bear to be away from you, let alone from her. I love you both more than even the tongue of Elves can adequately describe. Please, Êlanna, do not think such thoughts unless it is real. I need to know that you have faith in me."

"I have always had faith in you and I always will."

A more comfortable silence fell over them now; Êlanna held Legolas tightly, memorizing the was he stood, the way each muscle in his back was arched, the texture of his tunic, everything. "At the beginning of Creation we lay side by side and then we were moulded and did not recognize each other until that night of the Third Foray. Do not let anything happen because I waited forever for you," Êlanna said.

"And forever you shall have me," Legolas said with a slight smile. He bent his head and kissed her passionately, savouring every moment of it.

"Namarië-"

"No. Until our next tomorrow," he corrected. He could not recall where he found the ability to leave her standing there in her tears and not look back.

Êlanna gently caressed Legolas' cold hand as he lay on a cot in the infirmary, which was empty except for them. She looked at the wide scar on his shoulder that he had gotten from the Warg bite and at all the others that he had gotten in Mordor and a deep hate fell into her stomach. "Damn them," she cursed softly. Her anger subsided and she was now weakened again by the worry and sorrow brought with seeing her loved one so bandaged and bruised. He was so still-- not so much as a flinch—that he almost appeared as though he lay in death. Trying to stop her lips from quivering and her voice from wavering as she spoke, she said, "Do you remember the night of the Third Foray? We were all gathered in that tiny cellar under the palace. There was that constant banging on the door that was frightening everyone to pieces. You and two of your brothers were fighting to keep the door closed and you finally got a bolt across it. Then the candles all flickered out and it was all dark. Everyone clung to one another to remove the frightening images from their heads. I had stepped forward with my hand out, I don't remember why, but it brushed against you. My hand was shaking so badly that you could tell how frightened I was, so you took my hand and stepped my back against the wall. With one arm around my shoulder you got me to sit down. As the night wore on I became more accustomed to you, even though I did not know who you were at them moment. We held each other closer and closer. At some point I looked up into what I guessed were your eyes and I felt as though I had slipped out of reality, I was floating, and it was only us in a vast sea of nothing. And then you kissed me. My terror left me that very moment and I did not feel afraid at all as I sat in your arms. We did not know who each other was, but there was that recognition and I loved you that night, the Elf who took my fears from me by just being with me. I waited forever for that moment; you cannot be torn from me now."

Legolas flinched a little and his eyebrows creased in pain.

"I'm here for you now, in the darkness." Êlanna lifted his hand to her cheek and kissed his palm. "And I need you. I still need you to sit with me against the wall. Please, Legolas."

Darkness…everywhere. Only bright flashes of red with brief jolts of agony. There was no escape, not even from his own mind. No air to breathe, not even enough to inhale just to liberate that single scream that was building up inside. He was trapped in suffocating darkness and there was no one to hold… Finally, he had enough to cry a single word that pierced through the barriers and seemed to send pieces of shattered glass in every direction…"ÊLANNA!!"