It's dark....why is it dark? I don't like the dark. "Morgan can you turn on the light? Morgan? Where....Where am I? Morgan!" Sirius Black realized he wasn't in bed, with Morgan in his arms. He wasn't at Black Manor, he wasn't at Hogwarts.....It was dark.

"Monster...."

"Who said that!" Sirius shouted, he was standing in the dark, everything was so dark, there was no floor, just endless black.

"Monster...."

Sirius shivered, this voice on the wind shook him to the core...but there was no windows? Where would wind come from? He folded his arms over his chest and started to walk. Not knowing exactly where he was going, but moving. There it was, a light.

So clean and pure that it shone through the darkness, it cast away the shadows. Sirius smiled and walked faster, more sure of himself. The light didn't get closer. His smile vanished, he walked faster, and faster. The light never moved. He was running now, as fast as he could, to this shinning light. But he never got closer. The only sound was the gentle pounding of his feet on the floor.

But there is no floor!

"Monster...."

"Who said that!" Sirius shouted again. "Well come on, get out of the shadows!" But the shadows never moved. "This is a dream." The grim took a deep breath. "I am not really here, it's all going to be ok. I just have to wake up..." he shut his eyes and in his minds eye pictured himself again running to the light, but this time the light got closer. Subconsciously he smiled. The light enveloped him, and where his body stood he felt the light wash over him.

But something was wrong....Sirius screamed, every bone in his boy was shattering, fine cracks glittered in the shadows, he screamed more. The cracks grew and grew, his bones cracked and moaned inside him. Now he heard it, the clatter of the glass breaking, all around him the darkness shattered like glass, breaking him from the inside out.

There comes a point when no matter how long or hard you scream, it's just not enough. A simple scream, no matter how heart wrenching or animalistic, can not possibly express how Sirius felt now. Every tendon hung limply onto the shards of what was bone. Every vein, pulsing with blood, was pierced by these shards. Every beat of his heart pounded in his ears and very beat sent blood pulsing out of the veins.

His skin was like rubber, blood oozed from every tiny piercing in each and every vein. Screaming hurt, breathing set his lungs afire, the very beat of his heart drove him insane. Sobbing felt like his back was breaking into even smaller fragments. Screaming didn't even release the pain, he trembled, his body couldn't cry anymore. Crying didn't even express the pain.

Sirius brought a shaking hand in front of his face and saw. His hand looked perfectly normal, the bones all in tact, there was no bleeding. But it hurt, it hurt. Why did something that wasn't even real hurt him. Looking around he saw there was only fragments of shadows, each one falling slowly into eternity.

And suddenly he hit something hard, and solid. His still tremulous fingers pressed lightly against the ground. It was stone, old, strong stone. Carefully he looked up, Hogwarts' familiar halls greeted him. It wasn't a warm greeting, it was cold lifeless, dark and shadowed.

He started to walk slowly down the hall, his arms wrapped around his torso. Something pushed him, up the stairs to the front hall, out the door. He saw it, hundreds of black cloaks, each one carrying a single candle, a white glowing candle. The field of tiny flames extended back to the forbidden forest. Something else lurked in the sinister forest. His eyes adjusted quickly to the dark.

Small blasts of magic lit the field, screams littered the air. The metallic sent of blood clung so faintly to the breeze. He didn't have his wand, there was nothing he could do. In his heart of hearts he knew he lied. Something new lived inside him, something un-awoken. A death eater was near him, raising a hand, he didn't smile or laugh in triumph only whispered. "Ada Kevarda." The tiniest spark of green magic welled in his plam before drifting into the air. It drifted over to the death eater like a firefly. Funny how murder could take on such a beautiful guise.

The death eater screamed, his death was far from painless. The screams flooded Sirius, he was drowning in them, loving them and knowing that they destroyed him inside. Death eaters shot spells at him, they didn't come anywhere near him, tiny royal blue little lights, glowing balls of light found their way into each spell. The tiny fireflies looked almost dark purple.

Almost liked a grim reaped he glided through the bodies, both living and dead. His little fireflies found their way into the heart of his victims. He felt the blood stain on his cheek become visible, he was crying softly now.

"Monster...." I

Sirius now looked behind him, the breeze caressed his cheek gently. "Yes." He kept walking. "I am a monster." The fireflies found their way faster to their victims, not drifting slowly, but flying directly into their hearts and killing them. Horrible, it was horrible, seeing such beautiful creatures kill so cruelly. He cried more now, the tears flowing in steady streams. "Monster...." He hissed. In the palm of his hand he felt the green of the death spell well up, into tiny balls of magic.

He threw it at a death eater, howling and consumed by the green flames the death eater was cremated. His eyes hardened, the mournful tenderness was gone. He flung the green flames laughing, killing felt good. He was God. He decided who lived and died. The new power overwhelmed him, it took over his every cell of being. It flooded any rational thoughts he had left. Kill them all...Be the monster...

Lowering into a crouch, he saw his hands, they were little balls of the royal blue fire. With a cruel smile he touched both fingertips to the ground. Like wild fire, the magic tore through the earth, the brown of the dirt mixed with the blue, turning it an odd burnished gold. The now golden fire tore through everyone in his path. Laughing he examined his handiwork, setting corpses on fire here and there.

Sirius saw someone on the ground, not in a black robe, instead with flowing black curls, slightly tinged red with blood, what set this corpse off was the flaming red eyes, now still with death. Morgan, his Morgan was dead. "Morgan?" He whispered. He dropped onto his knees beside her, tears streaming anew down his cheeks. Gently he brushed a strand of the mused hair out of her red eyes. They didn't dance like the fire did, they were still dead.

Gently he pressed those devils eyes shut and kissed each lid. Sirius drew her limp body into his lap. "I love you....." He whispered. "I killed you. Dead....Your dead now because I killed you."

"Murderer...."

"No, I didn't....it was an accident!" Sirius cried out to the wind.

"Monster..."

"I didn't mean too! Morgan!"

"Traitor....."

Sirius' blue eyes were huge with shock, the words sliced through his heart. Peter. Oh so gently he put Morgan on the ground. "Good night, my sweet Princess, may flights of angels...Sing thee to thy rest." He got to his feet, eyes alight with new anger. "I killed her! I killed them all! Thye killed her, not me. They did. Now they'll all die!"

I killed her! Oh darling what have I done? His heart whispered as the blue fire used his own body for fuel. It billowed around him, suddenly it shot up like a pillar of smoke, pushed by Sirius' screams. He lost control of it and the fire swept through the land. Ravaging the earth and leaving piles of rubbish laced with the maroon blood tears of the earth as she wept.

The fire erupted, he manipulated it with his screams, howls of anguish for his lost love. I killed her, Morgan! Come back before I kill everyone! The fire vanished. He was alone again, so alone. "Monster...." He whispered. "I killed them I killed them all!" His feet pounded frantically on the ground as he searched for someone, anyone. Morgan... "Come and find me, I don't want to be alone! Don't leave me alone..."

"Monster...."

"Stop it please!" Sirius sobbed.

"Traitor.....He's dead."

"No! Not Moony to!" He ran faster. "REMUS! Answer me! Please no." He tripped over something and landed on his hands and one knee. Sobbing he looked back at what he tripped on.

Mused, warm, caramel hair begged to be stroked into place. Glowing golden lashes, and eyebrows framed softly shut eyes. Pale lips slightly twisted, the only evidence of his murder. The slender body was so twisted it couldn't have been fixed. Sirius desperately clutched the werewolf's hand in his. It was so cold, cold as ice. Remus Lupin was dead, betrayed by his best friend.

"I killed them. I killed them all!" Sirius sobbed. "Remus forgive me! I can't go back to me, don't leave me alone...." he tried to put the body back and shape, a sickening crunch filled the air. The grim dropped the body and fell on it sobbing. And then he trembled he couldn't cry anymore. "Can't go on without you, I can't do it old friend...."

No words came to him, he clutched the dead hand tightly. Sirius was on his knees beside Remus' corpse. He couldn't cry anymore, couldn't beg for Remus to come back because he was gone. The only thing he could think of was the words from an old song, from when they were kids. "Firefly could you shine your light?" His haunting voice cracked swallowing he continued his lamentation for the werewolf. "Now I know your ways, cause they're just like mine. Now I'm justified as I fall in line and it's hard to try, when your so dead inside."

At the song the tiny blue fireflies from before floated around them, they gently took Remus' body and lifted it into the air. More flew away, the rest floated near their master. They realigned the werewolf's body and set him back down. The other fireflies brought Morgan's body and laid it next to the werewolves. "Firefly, have you lost your light?" Sirius continued the song. "Now I hate your ways, cause they're just like mine. Now we're lost my friend, such a sorry end, and all I can do, is pretend to smile..."

The fireflies put small smiles on their faces and tucked Morgan's head right onto the werewolves shoulder. The fireflies brought another body, of a youth with long wild black curls, and a lightning bolt scar. "Harry..." Sirius whispered. The fireflies tucked Harry under Morgan's arm. They were his, his reasons for living, now they were dead.

Slowly their bodies faded away. He felt something warm envelope him, and he knew it was their goodbye. "No!" He cried, his voice was broken. Their bodies were gone. Now he was just there with the fireflies floating around him.

"Monster...."

"Yes..." Sirius whispered, his eyes were swirling mists of all shades of blue.

"Traitor...."

"I'm a murderer."

"Now do you see what I was trying to teach you?"

Sirius looked up and saw a figure coming toward him, dressed all in silver burnished with black. The velvet cloak billowed around the slender form. The silver waves trailed behind him like another cloak, normally Mallvorn's hair wasn't so long. Now it picked up the blood of the dead. The grim wanted to scream, he wanted to kill Mallvorn, right there, drive his nails through his smirking winters sky eyes. But he couldn't. He just shook his head, Sirius couldn't feel any emotion, but loss, like there was a black hole inside his heart.

"That no matter how much of an angel you are, Celice, you will never escape the truth. That there is no good, I gifted you with the power to kill those in your path, beautifully, and beauty if the most powerful gift of all. Instead that beautiful gift killed them all. No matter how many death eaters you kill the people you love will always suffer. So why love?"

"Love is everything. Without love there can be no truth, no hate, no fear, no power." Sirius whispered.

"Such pretty words. No matter how much you fight me, I will always have you, because I made you, I made you a mortal. You cannot destroy what do did not create. I can destroy you now. But you look so beautiful when you are broken, my god."

"Do it."

"No. Have you learned your lesson? There is no good, every good thing you try and do, someone else always suffers, they will still always suffer. You can't help them all can you? Never were a good angel were you?"

Sirius glared at Mallvorn, all the hate in his heart seeped into it. "There is good. There is a light."

Mallvorn just smiled knowingly. "Only death my puppet. You killed all the death eaters, but it cost you the ones you loved most. Next time it will cost you Alex, and Daniel, and Oreo. Then Draco and Torri, and then everyone you hold dear. I can give you the riches you deserve, stay here on this field of death and waste your talent away. I can save you whenever I want to. Do you understand me now? You cannot win."

"I can only hurt people."

"I can take you somewhere where your talents will be nurtured, your beautiful gifts. Where killing is the only light."

"I don't want to be alone."

"I'll always be with you, you can bring them if you like. Whatever you wish."

"If I go willingly." Sirius whispered. "Always a catch."

"If you call it that." Mallvorn smirked. "Now, I believe my little lesson has set in. Has it, puppet?"

The crestfallen and hopeless look in the depths of Sirius eyes was all the silver haired vampire needed.

"Then I suppose I shall let you wake up. Your friends are waiting...."

Sirius looked around at the wasteland of death. All he could smell, or see, or hear was death. The death's he caused. He looked up at where Mallvorn had been. The vampire was gone, and Sirius felt an odd pang of loss. When do I care if Mallvorn left me. I hate him...But that other voice was always there. He's always there for you, he's the only person who's stuck by you. He's the only one who can love a monster like you. Oh, so I suppose crufixion is a form of love? In some cultures yes. Your insane. Hey, you're the one whose talking to yourself. I am not! You are provoking me!

Shaking his head Sirius sighed. The smell of death was getting fainter, everything was fading. Smiling softly he became detached from this strange world and whispered. "Remus?"

"Remus?"

The werewolf clutched Sirius' hand tightly, all night they'd sat by his side, pryaing he'd wake up. "Sirius? Please wake up, we're right here!"

"Your not dead?"

"Of course not!" Remus hissed. "Now open your eyes."

"Morgan?"

"I'm right here, baby." She whispered, sniffling she traced the red bloom on his cheek. "Will you come back?"

"Is Harry alive!"

"Of course!" Remus yelled. "Sirius!"

The ex-convict's eyes peeled open. They were different, before they were blue, beautiful midnight blue. Now they weren't just blue. They were every blue, swirls of every shade of blue constantly dancing. They were on fire, almost like a light in the back of head illuminated them, accenting every shadow. Morgan broke into sobs.

"Morgan, love? Don't cry, I'm back now."

Again she sniffled and rested her elbows on the bed. "How long this time? I keep losing you, and soon you'll be gone forever."

There was no reassurance he could say, no sweet lie he could whisper. "I love you."

She nodded. "I'll go find Harry." She left, completely breaking down. Sirius rolled over so Remus was starring at his back.

"What can I say? I can only hurt people."

"I'll say, look what you did to my lip!" Remus said lightly.

A muffled laugh broke from Sirius' lips. He rolled over and faced the werewolf, his eyes sparkling. The laugh broke into hacking sobs. Sirius curled his legs up and buried his head on his knees with arms. Without question or reassurance the werewolf carefully sat down on the side of the bed and drew his friend toward him. Sirius, still in ball form, scooted closer to Remus' chest and let the caramel haired werewolf hug him tightly.

It was a much practiced routine. Sirius wasn't gay, he just loved people, a lot. In fact he loved a lot of people, and from all those he loved he demanded the up most comfort. No one minded, because being with Sirius was a more then fitting reward. Even in his hysterical fits he was still...intoxicating.

Morgan came back in a few minutes later, without Harry. Remus suspected she'd just been outside crying. She curled up next to Sirius and sobbed with him. It was an odd routine, but the two of them drew strength from crying together, and Remus barely held himself together.

"Sirius?" Harry asked from behind the curtain. The ex-convict didn't look over, he just whispered.

"Come."

Harry fell into the routine easily. He sat down on the front of the bed near Sirius' feet. Now going into paternal mode Sirius uncurled just enough to hold Harry to his chest.