Hey, Empress here! Gald you reviewers like me story! It's good to be back on ! :P
Thanks to...
zelda: thanx! actually i havent played the game in years, but i have a really good guide and from time to time i read it over. im trying to make sure i make fun of every little detail, lol
elcaminojoe: thanx so much, im real glad you liked it! Don't worry, I already have the first 9 chapters written, edited, and uploaded, ready to go, so it should be updated very frequently :P thanx for adding me to your favorites list
obessed cheese (friend irl): holz, its great to have u back and reviewing me stories again, lmao. friends forever an all that! ctard
Jaimie: why thank you! i tend to try to make this fic as stupid as possible. glad its working!
Alexia da Cheesemaster: Alexia!!! My old number one fan!!! its SOO great to have you back and revieweing legendary bloopers again! :P glad u still like it!! yeah break just ended for me to so now i have my reviewers to cheer me up (cough cough). your dress sounds pretty, lol! cheese! hey did u get my email btw?
Hylian Herione: thanx! don't worry, i completely plan to! cant upset me fans, can i? lol :P
without further adoo, the fic!
The ORIGINAL Legendary Bloopers!
Four: The Downfall of IT!!!
GREAT DEKU TREE BOSS ROOM
(ultra boss music playing)
Door: SLAM!
Link: Holy crap! ACHOO!!!!
Navi: Woah! Get out!
Gohma: MWARARGGGHHHHH!!!! scuttle scuttle-y click pinch
Link: Pinch?
Navi: Shut the hell up! Hey! Listen! Shoot that duty free slingshot at its eye!
Link: How do you know It is an it? Maybe It's a he or a she?
Navi: Arrrrhhhhh.
Link: ? ACHOO! ACHOO!
Gohma: MWARRARAGGGGHHHH
Gohma baby: MWARRRRARGGGGHHH
Navi: I vote she.
Link: ACHOO! ACHO-
Navi: Link?
Link: (shakily) Remember when I said I was allergic to fairies 'cause they make me throw up?
Navi: (gulp) yeah…
Link: Well, having you around has finally caught up with me…
Link: BLEHHH
Navi: EEEWWWWWW
Gohma and Baby Gohmas: Mwararghh?! (get drenched) mwewww!!
pac-man dying noise - wia wia wia wia wia - meep meep!
Gohma and Baby Gohmas: (fall on floor, unconscious)
Navi: Uh, eeww, yet satisfying. Finish 'em off, Link!
Link: (wipes mouth on tunic)
Navi: That is one way to get a red tunic, eh?
Link: Yup. (thrusts with sword) (ears turn pointy)
Gohma and Baby Gohmas: (die) (dead)
Link: Yay! (stomach lurches) (runs to an oddly-placed bathroom covering mouth)
Navi: Eeww. He has bad allergies, man. Damn that's funny!
Link: (returning) All better. I think I have developed a kind of resistance to you.
Navi: I feel so loved.
Link: You should!
Navi: Damn.
(music changes to i-beat-the-boss-music)
Navi: (to music) A little late, are we?
Navi: Look! A heart container!
Link: Erm, okay. (picks it up) da da da dun! I got a heart container!
Navi: Help us. Please.
Link: Wow, I have 2 hearts now!! Or three… (counts on fingers) or something.
Navi: Like I said, it's gonna be a long saga.
GREAT DEKU TREES CLEARING
Deku Tree: Thank you, damn loser kid, but I am still dying. Go away and get that crappy Ocarina and save us all. Except me. I'll be dead. Friggin curse! Oh, yeah, take this damn stone thing and go find princess Zelda. Ok, bye. (dies)
Link: Cool. (takes the stone thing)
Navi: That's a Kokiri's Emerald. I better hold onto it so you don't lose it.
Link: What makes you think I'm gonna lose it?
Navi: (raises eyebrows and glares)
Link: (nods head vigorously) Kay. (hands the Emerald over)
Navi: Let's go leave and go to the castle.
Link: Why?
Navi: To see the Princess, dammit! Where else do you think she'd be?!
Link: Oh. Yeah. Sure. Whatever.
Navi: (sighs)
ON A RANDOM BRIDGE
(OVER A RANDOM STREAM)
(Saria's Song playing softly in background)
Random bridge: creak.
Random cow: moo.
Link: AHHH THE BRIDGE IS GONNA COLLAPSE
Saria: Dearest Link, I knew you'd leave us someday, and I entrust in you this Fairy Ocarina. (hands him Fairy Ocarina) Oh, and just in case a big Goron wants to hear some music, come to the Sacred Forest Meadow and I'll teach you a song. Using that song, you can always talk to me! (smiles)
Link: Why would I want to talk to YOU?!
Navi: More importantly, was that actually on topic, and when will we ever meet a Goron?
Saria: Yes, it was on topic. Unless you have the players guide, you wouldn't know any of that. Humph. Anyway.
Saria: (attempts to hide tears) I though you liked me…? (sniff)
Link: Not really.
Navi: Like her or not, you should at least thank her for the Ocarina.
Link: Oh, crap. See, I can't play an Ocarina.
Saria: At least you could try. Just play any kind of tune. I'm sure you'll suck… I mean, be great at it.
Link: toot toot toot KABOOM! (smiles proudly)
Navi and Saria: (smirk)
Navi: We'll just keep practicing that. Bye bye, Saria. Get the hell outa here.
Saria: What'd I do?
Navi: Nothing, I just feel like swearing. Now leave, dammit!
Saria: I'm goin'!
Link: toot toot toot teet toot teet?!
Navi: good job it didn-
Link: KABOOM!
Navi: Never mind.