empress again... thanx to any reviewers i had, i think i covered all but these...
Link: ummmm not excactly sure what to say to that, but sry i had epona wreck the title. lol it hought it was funny. and whoever is trying to steal the keyboard, nice job! and why would i hit the a button that many times anyway?
Nysoku: lol dont worry theres plenty more kaboom to come. tell your friend ive gotten close but ive never died from laughing
Alexia: ive got random wind im the wind waker fic, hahaha. and i emailed u back! go me! ur lucky, at least u have more than 5 emails to read.. i usually never email anyone or get any emails myself. :D actually i just got ur other email. we must be on at the same time!
the fic...
The ORIGINAL Legendary Bloopers!
Five: Chickens Unleashed
SOMEWHERE IN HYRULE FIELD
(Hyrule Field daytime music)
Link: Okay, so, where to? Oh. The castle.
Navi: Yup.
Link: That Princess girl called me cute! (grin)
Navi: (sarcastically) Oh really. When?
Link: In a dream.
Navi: Typical.
(Kaepora Gaebora tune begins to play)
Kaepora Gaebora: (swoops down onto convenient nearby tree) Hello, young traveler! I am Kaepora Gaebo-
Link: 'Gae' is right. Get the hell outa here, el freako.
Navi: What he said.
Kaepora Gaebora: You have ruined my self esteem. I will now talk endlessly about nothing and then fly away. Later, when you least expect it, I will annoyingly do the same thing.
Navi: Damn.
Link: What she said.
SOMEWHERE ELSE
(IN HYRULE FIELD)
(Hyrule Field at dusk music)
Link: Sages, these days go by fast!
Navi: For you, maybe. (sighs)
Link: Was that statement implying anything?
Navi: You wish. Hey, listen, I think hear a wolf.
Random wolf: ARHOOOO
(supposedly-scary nighttime music playing)
Link: Eek!
Navi: Hurry! The gate to the castle grounds closes when the sun goes down!
Link: Damn! (runs up to drawbridge just as it closes) FRIGGIN DOOR! SCREW YOU!
Skeleton: ARRRRR (sound of bones coming out of ground)
Link: EEK!!! (runs and hides in bushes)
Navi: Hum dee dum (watches Link get murdered)
Link: THIS IS FOR MY POINTY EARS! (slashes at skeletons until daylight)
(Hyrule Field at dawn music commences)
Link: (wearily) Gee, night is sure longer than day!
Navi: For you, maybe! (smirks)
Link: (shrugs)
AT THE MARKET
(catchy market music plays)
Navi: Dum dum, dum dum dee dum, dum dum dum dum dee dum! Dum dum…
Link: Shut the hell up and ge- hey! THE HAPPY MASK SHOP!
Navi: Those masks are WAY over priced. Don't buy one Lin-
Link: I'd like two Keeton masks please!
Happy Mask Guy: Become happy today! I'm a hyper moron! Mwehehehe!
Link: Thank you!
Navi: Why'd you get two?
Link: So we can both be happy! (straps on mask and then straps mask on Navi)
Navi: (flies around looking like a flying pikachu head) AIEEE! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF, DAMMIT!
Link: Aww, Navi, you look so ADORABLE!
Navi: That is NOT the look I am going for!
Link: (shrugs)
IN THE BAZAAR
(shop music)
Navi: We can get all this stuff out in the open, loser. Let's leave.
Link: Wait! I can't help but think that Hylian Shield is important somehow…
Navi: (drags him out of shop)
THE TEMPLE OF TIME
(Temple of Time music plays)
Link: Crap, this place is freaky. Am I destined to come here?
Navi: Personally, I think you are destined to go to a mental hospital. Can we go now? You aren't supposed to be in this friggin place yet!
Link: (shrugs)
BACK AT THE MARKET
(Catchy market music plays)
Navi: Uh, Link, we are supposed to be at the castle.
Link: Oh yeah!
AT THE CASTLE
(whatever music that plays here plays, I think Hyrule Field)
Random guard: Hey, you! Kid! Stop! (throws him out)
OUTSIDE THE CASTLE
Link: (hits ground) oof!
Navi: We will have to find another way! Damn!
Link: (sees Malon) Hey, wassup?
Malon: Not much, you? My name is Malon. Oh, yeah, my dad is missing. Take this egg. I own a ranch. Bye! (starts singing Epona's Song)
Link: (staring after her dreamily) Man, she's a hottie! Hey, Navi, vines! I think they are important somehow…
Navi: Try climbing them, moron.
Link: (climbs up vines and sees Gossip Stone) (hits with sword) Coolio!
Stone: The time is 11:11:11. I the world will explode in 5… 4…
Link: (runs away)
OUTSKIRTS OF HYRULE CASTLE
Navi: Hey, listen, a ladder. Climb down it to get into the castle.
Link: Nah, I'd rather jump. (jumps)
OUTSIDE THE CASTLE
Navi: Link! You just jumped back to where we started!
Link: Damn!
OUTSKIRTS OF HYRULE CASTLE
(many tries later)
Navi: I dunno 'bout you, but I give up.
Link: Wait! I have a plan!
(some time later)
Random Guard 1: Hey, I think I hear something!
Random Guard 2: Yeah. Sounds like chicken.
Random Guards: (see a stampede of chickens storming towards them) AIEEEE (run away)
Link: Mwahahaha! That flock of runaway chickens I conveniently found sure came in handy!
HYRULE CASTLE GROUNDS
Link: Are we there yet?
Navi: Hey, what's that guy doing over there?!
Talon: (snore snore grunt grunt) Malon…. egg….. (grunt) …ranch… moo.
Link: Hey, he said that cute girl's name! And he said egg! Hey, that hot girl gave me an egg! (takes egg out of item select screen and places on right arrow button) There. That ought to hold it.
Link: (presses right arrow button)
Egg: (hatches)
Chicken (formerly Egg): cluck cluck cluck SQUACK!
Navi: Oh. Wonderful.
Talon: (snore) (grunt) Wahh…? Hey! Malon! I must've overslept! (runs crazily down hill)
Link: That was awkward.
Navi: Ditto.
IN THE COURTYARD/GARDENS
Link: Wow. I can't believe I figured out how to place all those boxes in the correct order and climb through the waterfall/gutter/hole/thing and make my way up here.
Navi: Whadda ya talkin' about? All we did was- Hey. There are guards.
Link: Oh, okay. Can I run through the gardens yet? Zelda's on the other side.
Navi: Noooooo… You can't get caught by the guards.
Link: Oh, right. CHICKENS - CHARGE!