empress... yet again! thanx peeps! oh and please please please if you are a fan of this story you will most certainly enjoy my wind waker parody, legendary bloopers goes cel-shaded, which is certainly just as funny if not more. beware the swedish fish! lol and also if you liked this fic you'll like... Macarena of Time by alexia da Cheesemaster! join link and a moo moo charmer in an epic quest to save... hyrule. i think. lmao its great! :P
Ny: omg! attacked by chickens! gasp! its a miracle you survived! lol oh and i looked up obnoctioness... its defined as: a word used by obnoxious people when they try to describe obnoxious (aka nysoku) beware! lmao jk. and wait a minute.. ur luthien? my old reviewer?! really??? man, am i slow! hey luthien! good to talk to you again :P
cons (friend irl): no need to get mad, cons! im glad he called it stupid! i support honest reviews! :P
alexia: yup, an itty bitty misquito bite.. lol and yeah its great u got macarena of time up! hey anybody whos reading this go read macarena of time by alexia! woo!
cons: ha. ha. ha. lol yeah i hate kaepora gaebora. dont we all? lmao and i beilive i explained the chap 4 title to you online. u r sooo slow! lol :P
flamesage: thanx so much! im real glad you liked it! dont wry i plan to make each chap more n more funny... so far ive gotten it done up to chap 9 and its pretty good
hylian heroine: lmao yup the keeton mask has a startling resemblance to a certain pokemon... kinda.. sorta... not really. but hey! and yes, more adventures await link on death mountain... although that isnt until chapter 10, when link must dance it out on ddr with darunia. wait n see! lol
The ORIGINAL Legendary Bloopers!
Seven: Stuck
HYRULE FIELD
(ACTUALLY HYRULE CASTLE DRAWBRIDGE)
(Hyrule Field music playing)
Navi: Link, let's go. Dammit, Link, if you caught those Chicken Pox, I'm gonna…
Link: Just some bug bites, Navi. (rubs ointment on skin) Anyway, go where, back to the friggin tree?!
Navi: hold it, hold it, no! NO! That tree is dead, remember?! Now we must go to um… Lon Lon Ranch!
Link: Why there? Don't we have to go get the Spiritual Stone of Fire or something from those rock-eating crappy… things?!
Navi: Gorons. No, that can wait. I feel like going to Lon Lon Ranch because… um… (flips through Nintendo power guide) uh… that hot girl you met at the castle is there! And I want to get some Lon Lon milk. Yup, that's it. (sighs)
Link: Zelda ain't hot. Oh, you mean Malon! Okay, lets go!!! (smiles happily and puts on Keeton mask)
Navi: (rolls eyes) It's that way.
Link: What? No, no, no. Lon Lon Ranch is THAT way. I'm sure!
Navi: Nope. Straight ahead!
Link: Wait… did you say Lon Lon MILK?
Navi: Yeah, you're a little slow, aren't you?
Link: Humph. Well, hot or not, I can't go there! I'm allergic to Lon Lon milk!!!!!
Navi: Oh yeah. Crap. Well, just don't drink any. Look, we have to go there. It says so in the guide.
Link: Oh, the guide. Well okay then!
Navi: Told ya so. Let's go, then. Straight.
Link: Left.
Navi: Right.
Link: Northeast!
Navi: Um. Backwards!
Link: Yeah!
Random Wolf: ARHOOOO
(Hyrule Field at night tune)
Link: Eep…
Drawbridge: Creak creak creak… (starts to slowly go upward with Link and Navi on it)
Navi: (flys off into Hyrule Field) Jump, Link, JUMP! We can still make it to Lon Lon Ranch before the skeletons come out!
Link: (sitting there) Nooo I don't wannnaaaaa
Navi: JUMP, DAMMIT!
Drawbridge: (closes) Creak.
Skeleton: Arrr
Navi: Link? LINK! Oh crap, I'm stuck out here! (looks around and sees moat) Fly, wings, fly!
Skeleton: ARRRRR (chases Navi)
Navi: Almost… there…
MARKETPLACE
(market at night plays)
Link: Navi? NAVI! Oh crap, I'm stuck in here! (looks around deserted Hyrule Castle market and sees dog) DOGGIE! (runs off and follows it)
Dog: Bark bark! (runs toward Back Alley)
Link: Wait up, doggie! (smiling crazily)
HYRULE FIELD
(Hyrule Field at night playing)
Navi: It's ok, Navi, It's ok. Just stay over the moat and they can't hurt you.
Skeleton: ARRRRR (jumps into moat and snatches at Navi)
Navi: WHAT THE HELL?! THEY CAN SWIM?! EEEEEEEEKKKKK
BACK ALLEY
(whatever)
Link: Doggie?! Doggie?! Where are we going, huh?
Dog: Woof!
Link: Okay… well don't worry, Linkys here! (sees door in house) A door! Let's go in here doggie!
IN BACK ALLEY HOUSE
(house music plays)
Woman: (screaming) THAT'S NOT MY DOG! HOW COULD YOU HAVE MISTAKEN RICHARD FOR SUCH A MANGY MUTT! OUT!
Dog: (cowers, tail behind legs) whimper whimper cry cry
Link: Aww, look what you've done! Insulted the poor thing and won't even tell me what blasted color your damn dog is!
Woman: …
Link: … (looks at her with sad eyes)
Woman: Your kind words have inspired me to dump Richard and take this cute, cute doggie. Yayness!
Link: YAYNESS! (becomes businesslike all the sudden) That will be 89 rupees, please.
Woman: Excuse me? (rubs dog's belly)
Link: Well, the dog is mine, and you're keeping it. 89 rupees please.
Woman: (thinking in head - well, that's not 90, in the 80's, pretty cheap… yeah.. hmm…) (to dog in cooey baby voice) Mummy do anyfing for liddle Wichard, won't she, Wichard? Yeah.. you better than the last Richard… (to Link) I'll do it, boy. (hands him 89 rupees)
Link: (in head -WAHOO!!) (to Woman) Thank you very much, Madam. Pleasure doing business with you. (leaves)
HYRULE FIELD
(Hyrule at night)
Navi: (to skeleton) You know how that kid makes me feel? Like friggin crap. I just wanna kill him with that damn sword of his… stick it through one friggin pointy ear and out the other… heh…
Skeleton: Arr?
Navi: You got it. Damn that kid. So, what's your life problem?
Skeleton: (looks sad) No one is ever scared of me. You and that kid are my only successes. And even youse two ain't scared no more.
Navi: And how does that make you feel?
Skeleton: Well, it makes me feel sad and like a failure. I'll never graduate and become a real Stalfo. WAAAHHH (sobs)
Navi: (looks sympathetic) Oh, don't worry; you'll make a great Stalfo. You just have to work on those growls. Make 'em capitalized! And don't bite your claws. They make you look tacky, not scary.
Skeleton: Really? That's easy. I feel better already. (looks up, stops crying) Wow, I'll work on that… what did you say your name was? (smiles)
Navi: I'm Navi. And you are..?
Skeleton: I'm Arthur! You can call me Arty.
Navi: Well, I'm very happy to help you, Arty. Why don't you just call your friends off and then… (sees the other skeletons)
Skeletons: (lined up behind Arthur, looking pleadingly at Navi) ME NEXT! Me next! ME ME ME! Pick me, fairy! Navi, over here! (jumping up and down)
Random Skeleton: Hi, I'm Francine. You can call me Franny… I have an eating disorder… can you help me? Please?
MARKETPLACE
(market at night music playing)
Link: Step right up, step right up! (is standing at a booth with the words 'Hero Hounds' painted on a banner waving from above) Come buy a Hero Hound today! (picks random dog off the street and holds it up) only 89 rupees!
Random Hobo: I'll take 2!
(many hours later)
Random Rooster: Cocka doodle doo!!
(marketplace at daytime playing)
Drawbridge: Creak creaky creak (opens slowly) bang! (hits ground)
Link: (looking sleepy) Only one… Hero Hound… left… name is Richard, white, spoiled, yippy. Discount… 69 rupees…something-percent-off… uhnn…
Random Guard: Hey! Is that Lady so-and-so from the back alley's dog, Richard?! THIEF!!! THEIF!!! (runs at Link)
HYRULE FIELD
(Hyrule Field at morning playing)
Navi: (looking sleepy) Anybody else? Anybody?
Arthur: Nope, but thanks Navi! (is sinking into the ground) BYE!
Francine: Thank you, Navi! (sinks into ground)
Skeletons: BYE!!! THANKS!! (disappear into ground and are gone)
Navi: (sniff) my only… friends…
MARKET
(same catchy market music playing: do do do do de do…)
Link: No, no, I swear! Hey! Listen! (in head - oh sages I sound like that friggin Navi) (runs towards drawbridge, followed by stampede of angry guards, townspeople, and dogs)
HYRULE FIELD
(same old, same old)
Navi: I must do like Arty said… I have to face my problems - mainly that friggin kid… I better hurry before I chicken out and go get a job as a shrink somewhere. (sighs and flies toward drawbridge)
HYRULE CASTLE DRAWBRIDGE
(actually the music didn't change)
Link and Navi: Oof! (crash into each other)
Link: NAVI!
Navi: LINK!
Link: I need you to help me there's people they think I ripped them off which I did but anyway the guards are after me and -
Navi: (at the same time) I need you to help me see I need to tell you how I feel I think it will better our relationship see I feel hurt and want to swear when you set me on fire and -
Angry mob: GET THAT KID! GET THAT FAIRY!
Link and Navi: AIEEEEE (run towards Lon Lon Ranch, which by the way is northeast from the castle, I believe)
Angry Mob: (chase them off into the distance)
Random Guard: (to other Random Guard) Did I miss something?
a/n: this is the last chapter i had up on the stie before this fanfic was delted off the site last summer... the next chapter is what got it deleted... anyways, i just wanted to say to any of me old fans, from this point on, it will all be new material! lol