Hey, as long as I have so much as one person reading, I'll keep writing. CALENORE!!!! DO YOU EVER READ THESE?????? I think the revelation is going to be even slightly worse than that…

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

After a nearly sleepless night I dragged myself into the workshop, vaguely aware I was forgetting something.

"Good morning, Wind," Leaf all but chirped as he strode into the shop a few minutes later.

I bared my teeth at him in a growl. "Funny."

"What's with you?" he asked, crooking one brow up at me. "It's not like you were out late, or anything."

Ah. That was what I'd forgotten—to come up with a plausible excuse for my apparent no-show. Thankfully I noticed a slight glow to his eyes that hadn't been there the last time he'd been in the shop. I called him on it at once… mostly to keep him from pursuing the troubling line he'd started. "It doesn't look like you missed me."

He flushed lightly, his ears glowing, but he grinned crookedly. "I did look for you," he stated earnestly, "and came across someone you know in the process."

"Oh?" I murmured, trying to look busy so he wouldn't see the growing dread and panic that started to rise in me. Of course, being on my own tuff—dressed like normal, and so comfortable with myself—it was much easier to control, though he was one of the few people who knew me well enough to see it anyway… and he wasn't thinking about me. Well, not exactly, and certainly not in any way he would ever expect. Thankfully.

"Indirectly, at least. Did you meet the friend Taradriel had the pendant made for?"

"I dropped the pendant off at Tara's. There was no one else there… Why?" I asked, seeing in the shift of his eyes he had half made the trip back to asking me about my absence and wishing to avoid it.

"I met her," he murmured so softly I nearly missed it. The faintest smile touched his lips.

"That's nice." I went back to polishing the sword I'd finished the evening before.

"Aren't you going to ask about her?" he asked in astonished disbelief, since we knew each other well enough such dreamy looks wouldn't go unnoticed.

"Why? You're going to tell me whether I do or not."

He missed my peevishness, something of a smile glowing in his eyes. "That's true." He laughed lightly. "If you'd met her, you would never have forgotten her. She's unlike any other she-elf I've ever met."

"Sounds like you mean that in a good way," I murmured softly, finding myself amused despite myself as he continued.

"Oh, yes," he agreed, smiling a rather dopey smile. "She didn't even ask what I do, we just walked and talked."

"Doesn't sound to me like she was all that interested, then."

He gave me an odd look, one brow lifting. "It seems you are determined to return me to reality—which is hardly kind."

"But if you are unwilling to face the facts, isn't it up to your friends to point them out?" Really, I was just hoping a few words would rid him of his apparent interest.

He crossed his arms over his chest, at the same moment looking rather indifferent to my opinion—which was of course his intention—and also quite hurt. Inside I cringed at that look—I hadn't meant to hurt him, but steering him away from Alyeni was certainly a good idea from my viewpoint. "I know it's unlikely I shall ever find a she-elf I can trust to truly love me—" I didn't understand the emphasis, but heard it nonetheless "—but the hope remains."

I blinked at him in shock. "Leaf, why would you think that?"

"It's been over a thousand years, and I've not found one." His arms tightened a bit, as if to ward off a chill. As I found myself at a surprising loss for words, he continued. "Besides, Tara's the only she-elf you've mentioned having in your life."

I sighed softly, but he had gone longer than I expected without shifting the focus of the conversation. "And she will likely remain the only one I have."

"Why?" Leaf asked with a frown, and a look on his face akin to the one I probably had had at his announcement—confused astonishment, disbelief.

I shrugged, feigning a light-heartedness I didn't feel. "Not interested."

"At all?"

In she-elves? Not a chance. "No," I agreed softly, moving towards another project, needing to keep my hands busy.

"That… That's rather stupid, Wind."

"What?" The sole word was startled out of me. "What do you mean?"

"Well," he shifted a bit uncomfortably, "you have no reason not to find someone."

"And you do?"

"More so than you," he countered, bitterness lacing his tone.

"I doubt that," I muttered, though thinking of my own situation made me run my eyes over him—hidden by my face shield—while my mind raced through out past, looking for any clue to this attitude of his. I was quickly reassured his secret wasn't mine—his lines were too perfectly male, unencumbered in any way that could indicate otherwise. A small thrill went through the part of me that had been recently awakened as female as I noted the fine form before me. To hide it I turned aside and tended to the fire. "Enough of this!" I declared after a moment, facing him squarely.

Arms still crossed, eyes solemn, he nodded. "I agree." He hesitated for a moment. "Wind?"

"Hmm?"

I blinked at the rueful cautiousness in his eyes. "Would you find her name for me?"

"You didn't get it last night?"

"No," he admitted sheepishly.

"You've gone on about this elf you've met—yet you don't know her name?" When his eyes studied his boots and his ears flushed, I couldn't help but laugh. "She is unlike any other she-elf you know—she's unnamed!"

Color swept over his cheeks and down his neck to go with the persisting flame of his ears. "Wind," he protested.

Something in the vulnerability of his pose and the dampened hope in his eyes got to me against all common sense. "I will," I agreed, sighing, knowing already it was a decision to regret.

His eyes lit up, nearly making me groan. "Thank you, my friend!" He clapped our forearms together, a gesture I numbly returned.

His enthusiastic exclamation nearly made me cringe. "Did she say where she was from?"

"No," he grinned crookedly, "only that she was visiting—so I don't know how long I have."

"Have for what?" I asked without thinking. I bit my tongue in remand at the look he gave me.

With a frown he studied me for a moment. "To get to know her better," he replied slowly, as if either unsure he was fully understanding my question, or as if I was naught but a slow child. Knowing him as I did, I guessed it was more the latter.

"And if she's already gone?"

"Can't be—not for at least a month." His blithe reply was uttered matter-of-factly.

"What do you mean?"

He looked at me as if I'd gone rather daft. "The borders are closed—sealed until all the recently spotted orcs have been eradicated."

My mind went blank for an instant, then jumped to a natural conclusion for me—Father would be stuck in Imladris. This revelation lifted my spirits greatly until another thought struck me painfully.

"Wind? What is it?"

How well he knew me. The thought was far from without bitterness. I was caught for an instant by the horrible irony of the position that knowledge put me in. Realizing he was waiting for an answer, I grasped the first thing—which wouldn't give everything away—and spoke, my voice a bit raspy. "The guards are warning travelers, though?"

"Oh, yes," he agreed, eyeing me in some confusion. "Why? Know someone?"

"Father is away on business—"

"Oh," he shook his head. "Yes, he'll be warned, all right." He nodded slightly and tilted his head at me for a moment before looking away to give me a moment to compose myself.

"Well, that's… good. Yes, that's good." Inside my head a frantic voice was screaming in an absolute panic that it was not good, not at all. It was so loud my words came rather disjointed, but from the sympathetic look I half registered on Leaf's face, I could tell he chalked it up to my rather ambivalent relationship with my father. My thoughts were spinning on a rather different line, however. With Father gone, Leaf interested in Alyeni, and Taradriel regretting her silence during my youth, it meant I was suddenly cast into a very precarious position I couldn't easily escape from. If I could just stay away from Leaf and Tara until Father returned, I might have a chance of surviving as ever I had.

May all Valinor help me.

"Afternoon, Haradan," a female voice called. My insides chilled. No. Not this. Not now. Not ever, for that matter. "Hello, dear elf, I've brought you some lunch. Hello," she offered Leaf with a slight smile and nod, already turned towards me before she froze, turning back.

Leaf grinned crookedly as it became obvious Tara was trying to place him. "Hello, Tara."

It was probably the grin that got her—his had always been off-kilter. "Leaf?"

"Right you are, Tara," he agreed. I saw his eyes shift and mentally groaned. "Say, Tara," he murmured, leaning in a bit closer, stooping slightly down so he didn't tower over her so. "You had Wind create a pendant, did you not?"

"Yes," she agreed, not yet seeing where he was going. I certainly did, and was powerless to intervene. "Why?"

"Would you impart the name of the she-elf who wore it last night?"

"Oh," she murmured quietly, a bit shocked for a moment before her devious, female-trained mind put things too closely together for my peace of mind. "Met her, then?"

"Yes. Spent a good portion of the evening wandering the garden together, and then I walked her to your flet, in fact."

Tara smiled, a kindly smile to anyone who was not where I was standing. "It was good of you to see her back. Her name is Alyeni."

"Alyeni," Leaf closed his eyes as he repeated the name as if it was of greatest importance that he remember it. Then his eyes opened, bright and hopeful. "Will she be going to the festival?"

"She will," Tara agreed.

I opened my mouth to protest, but shut it again, having nothing I could say.

Leaf's eyes danced with excitement as he pulled Tara close, bending his head to give her a peck on the cheek with a "Thanks, Tara," before clapping his arm against mine, his grip firm near my elbow. He left quickly, calling a farewell over his shoulder as the light swallowed him.

Tara looked after him, took one look at my face and then at the ready assortment of instruments that boasted both sharp edges and a close proximity to my fingers, gave me a tiny flicker of a smile, and all but ran.

Wisely. I was never so close to strangling someone in my life.