Empress here! Okay, lessee here...
barbarian655: thanx! glad you like it! :P
Pinky: yay, its pinky! lol yeah a lot of people say they like the part with the happy mask shop... ugh that place is so freaking scary!
Pinky: lol i luv stuck, it was my fave chapter to write! and yes, i promise to update both of my fics. promise! (crosses fingers)
Raven's Wolf: im glad to see someone who actualy lieks raven from teen titans! seriously, robin gets all the hype but ravens got the best powers, lol. Anyways, thanx and glad you like my story! i love link's allergies, too glad you liked... and about script format, well, I'm hoping to dodge that one. Legendary Bloopers would never be the same if I changed it to another format.. hmm. thanx for the warning.
Ny: i am updating! i try to update frequently, i really do! lol :P
Pinky: sizzle
cons: thanx for reviewing, hurry and get on aim
Alexia: eastnorth, it is! lmao i cant wait im writing the ddr thing now.. darunia doing ddr... priceless. lmao and i reviewed ur story... like 3 times! yay!
Alexia: hmmm maybe i should use napoleon dynamite lmao
INSANEmnky: ;P glad you like the random cow, thanx for your review! wow, you really are insane, lol! its hard to tell what your saying but thats still cool! ill check your story out when it comes up.
fic time! thanx to all my reviewers! :P
Legendary Bloopers: Randomness Prevails
Chapter 8: Hottie with a Horse
HYRULE FIELD
(guess what music is here?)
Link: What was it you were saying earlier, huh, Navi? Huh?
Navi: Notin'; now shut up and get moving.
Link: Awww, tell me or I won't get moving to Bon Bon Ranch or whatever the crap it's called… so there.
Navi: Only if you tell me where you got all those rupees, and its Lon Lon Ranch, you friggin idiot. (exasperated sigh)
Link: …which way to Lon Lon Ranch again?
Navi: Just follow the singing!
Link: Oh. Kay.
LON LON RANCH
(Epona's song/Lon Lon Ranch music)
Random Horse: neigh.
Random cow: moo.
Random Chicken: squawk! cluck cluck cluck squawk!
Random Pig: oink
Navi: There aren't any pigs at Lon Lon ranch!
Link: Now look what you've done, dammit. We show up here at ole Lon Lon like you said and everyone gives us shifty looks or whatever.
Everyone: (shifty eyes)
Link: See?
Navi: 'Everyone' is the cows, stupid. Unless you care what they think of you, screw it and find the stables. It can't be that hard.
Link: Stables…?
Navi: Malon… horses… ring any bells?
Link: Oh yeah! (enters door to where Talon is)
Navi: The horses will be outside, dork! Where the crap are you going?
INSIDE THE HOUSE/BARN
(house music)
Talon: Hey, how can I help you, forest boy?
Link: Uh, where's Malon?
Talon: I was just getting to that! She's out in the riding coral.
Link: Okay, thanks, farmer dude! (Proceeds to walk out door)
Talon: Be sure to return when you come back!
RIDING CORAL/STABLE AREA
(Epona's song)
Malon: oooOOOOooOooooOOOoooOOO… (a/n - this is my way of writing Malon singing Epona's song, kay? lol)
Link: What the crap?
Navi: (in Malon's ear) SNAP OUT OF IT, LOSER!
Malon: oooOOOOooo- oh! Did you need something, fairy boy?
Link: It's Link, and… um… woah! What the heck is that… THING?!
Epona: NEIGH!!!!
Malon: (insulted) That's Epona, my horsie! You can call her by playing this song I sing every second of every da-
Epona: NEIGH!!!! (rears and won't move, terrified)
Link: A horse, huh? Why isn't she going anywhere, then?
Epona: NEIGH!!!! (rears and looks petrified)
Navi: Why does she look so terrified? Link, give the nice horsie some… uh… grass, yeah.
Link: (bends down to pick up grass)
Malon: NOOO!!! Don't do it-
Epona: NEIGH!!!! (refuses Link's offered grass, the very same grass that lays in front of her, all around her actually)
Ingo: Why won't she eat any grass, twerp?! (sneers at Malon)
Link: Where did that creep come from?
Ingo: (looks at him menacingly)
Malon: Well, it is a little embarrassing, but… Epona is afraid of grass.
Link: (raises eyebrows)
Navi: (raises virtually nonexistent eyebrows)
Ingo: (sneers and raises eyebrows)
Malon: What? Did I miss something?
LATER, AT THE RANCH
(Lon Lon Ranch tunes!)
Navi: Well, that went well.
Link: Yup. Hey whatcha got there? Did you waste some of my hard earned rupees, eh? It took me oodles of time to get all those.
Navi: I didn't buy anything. This ticket I've got basically claims we're bankrupt.
Link: What happened to all those rupees I got selling dogs????
Navi: (gulps and turns red) you… dropped them along the way….?
Link: arrggghhhhh
(five minutes later)
Navi: I confess! I needed some expensive hair spray!
THE LON LON RANCH HOUSE
(House music)
Navi: Look, mister, we need some Lon Lon Milk, and fast. According to the almighty guide, we have to pick some up before heading to Dondongo's Cavern.
Link: Stop reading ahead! And I thought I said that I was allerg-
Talon: Hmm… Lon Lon Milk, eh? Well, if you play a game for 10 rupees…
Link: That's all we got. We'll do it. I think. Right, Navi?
Navi: Here goes nothing…
(a few tries later…)
Navi: Link, this is your 16th try. Give up all ready and get a refund.
Link: Wait! I can do it this time!!
(tick tock tick tock tick tock… hours later)
Talon: Almost got it! You have one more chicken to find and the clock is ticking!
Link: (breathing heavily) (chases chickens) THAT ONE! THAT ONE! GET BACK HERE! I HAVE TO BEAT IT THIS TIME!
Navi: You better. 103 tries is enough.
Clock: Tic tic tic tic tic tic…
Link: (jumps matrix-style slo-mo over a haystack and grabs last chicken)
Clock: tic tic tic… TOCK!
Link: Awww…
Talon: I'm sick of watching you anyway, so take the milk, kid.
Link: Yay! Da da da duunnn!!! You… or I, I guess… got Lon Lon Milk, a replenishing drink that replenishes energy. Coolio!
Navi: Let's go, shall we?
THE CORNER OF THE STABLES
(Epona's song)
Link: Hmmm… Ok, let's practice.
Navi: Practice what?
Link: My marriage proposal to Malon, 'o course!
Navi: Great. Out with it, I suppose.
Link: (smiling idiotically) Malon, I think you are the cutest girl EVA!!!!!!
Navi: You really gotta work on it, kid. That doesn't sound romantic… that sounds friggin lame!
Link: Aww.
Link: So I guess I should go over there now before she leaves… hey, what's that?
Navi: Huh?
Link: This small red bump beginning to grow on my elbow!
Navi: Uhhh… a rash?
Link: Damn! That's it! I'm allergic to Lon Lon Milk! It gives me a rash, I think…
Navi: You never said you were allergic to Lon Lon Milk!
Link: Did too! I TOLD you in the Great Deku Nut that I was allergic to that gunk! It gives me a rash! Hey, this itches. (scratch scratch scratch)
Navi: Well, then, you never said an ITCHY rash!
Link: Hmmmm, I suppose I didn't… although I don't remember this particular rash being itchy…
RIDING CORAL/STABLES
(Still Epona's Song)
Link: Here goes everything… (walks up to Malon)
Malon: ooooOOOOooooOooOOOOoooOoOoo…
Link: Malon, uh, I, uh, ummm..
Malon: oooOOOoooooOOOOOOoooOooOOOo….
Link: Yes, umm, I think, um I guess I think you are kinda… er, n-um… pretty, I guess.. uh, erm…
Malon: OOOooooOOOooooooo…
Link: Well yeah great so um okay then?
Malon: Huh?
Link: Yes, or no? Uh..
Malon: Yes, what? You say something?
Link: She said yes! She said yes! (jumps up and down)
Malon: (looks perplexed) Sure… ooooOOOOOoooOOoo..
Navi: (drags Link off)
Malon: oooOOOOooooooOOooOoooo…