Chapter 2: Okay, That's What I Thought You Said.

Authors Note: Chapter Two picks up on the morning prior to the fight from the first few paragraphs in Chapter One. Thanks to all who reviewed. It is very encouraging. Please keep it up. Hope you enjoy.

After last night, all of my concerns went right out the window. I carried out my day like normal. I called him in the morning to wake him up like I always do. I went to work and school. I actually had a fairly pleasant day. I called him when I got off work and got his voicemail. I left him a message at about 6:30 telling him to give me a call soon.

10:00 that night rolled around and I still had not heard from him. So I decided to give him another call. He answered the phone and sounded like he was in a pretty good mood.

"Hi." I said. "How are you?"

"Oh, hey I'm fine what's up with you?"

"Not much, did you get my message"

"Nope. I didn't. What message?"

"Oh, I see. It wasn't anything important. I just wanted to say hi. So, what are you doing?"

"Nothing much. I'm just hanging out with Botan at her apartment."

The instant he said those words, something inside my head snapped, and I hung up the phone. This was not the smartest move I could have made, because Yusuke hates to be hung up on.

He called me back and I tried to answer the phone, but I accidentally pressed the ignore button instead. He figured I was just pissed off and he left me a voice-mail telling me to call him back when I calmed down. I called him back immediately and apologized. He didn't seem to care, because I had hung up on him and there was no excuse for that.

I heard Botan say in the background that I could come over too if I wanted, so I thought it best to try to repair any damage I may have done between my boyfriend and me.

I arrived at her apartment complex shortly after and went on up. I knocked on the door, and after a few seconds, she opened the door and invited me inside. He was sitting on the couch watching television. As soon as I entered, she resumed her seat right next to him, so I decided to sit in the chair. I was not pleased about this but I said nothing and instead let my annoyance show on my face.

Yusuke didn't look at me the entire time. I knew right then that something was wrong, but I figured we would talk after we left. Unfortunately for me, I didn't have to wait long.

We got up after the show concluded, said our thanks and good nights to our hostess, and then proceeded to our cars. He went to get into his, and he didn't kiss me or even say goodbye.

"Are you still mad at me?" I tentatively inquired, afraid to hear the answer.

"I'm just so sick and tired of your tantrums and bad moods." he responded back with more anger and frustration in his voice than this incident should have warranted, yet he didn't yell at me so I took this as a good sign.

I closed my car door and cautiously made my way over towards his. I asked for permission to join him inside and he didn't move, nor speak, so I took my usual place in the passenger seat. He continued to remain silent. He refused to look at me. We sat in quiet contemplation for some time before I decided that I would speak first and start the fight that I was sure was going to ensue.

"Yusuke," I started calmly, "what's wrong?"

He sighed heavily and looked out the window at nothing in particular and said, "Keiko, I am tired."

"I'm sorry," I said, "I will just let you go. We can talk tomorrow and..."

"No," he stopped me, "Not about tonight, but about everything."

At this point I became confused and fear began to grip at my heart, but I thought it best to let him continue uninterrupted.

"I just don't know about things anymore. My life is getting so damn complicated. I can't keep this up for much longer. I'm sorry."

"Sorry for what?" I hesitantly asked.

He turned to look at me but found that he couldn't do it. So instead he looked at his dashboard.

"Keiko," he began, "I can't take this anymore. I know how much you care about me, but I can't handle anymore of your stress. I have never been in a real relationship before. I never realized it was so much work. We hardly have fun anymore. You are too tired, sick, busy, or in a bad mood. I just want to have fun. I don't like the fact that I can't make you happy or feel better. It just makes me depressed. I think you deserve better than me anyway."

"Yusuke that's nonsense! You do make me happy. I love you so much. I know I can get pretty stressed sometimes, but just give me some time, and I'm sure things will get better for me. The reason you feel that you can't make me better is because you refuse to do the things that will make me feel better. You won't hold me, or kiss me without me having to beg. The only time you touch me at all is when we make love!"

My own fury was beginning to grow within me, but I learned a long time ago not to get combative with him, so I used most of my self-control to keep my voice at a normal level as I continued.

"But I told you I accept you for that. I understand you aren't too good with feelings and being touched. I let it go because I love you in spite of that, and I know you love me too. As far as me finding someone better than you, that would be impossible. You are a great guy. Why would I ever look for someone else when I have you? I need you. "

"You don't need me. Perhaps you should look for someone else."

"If this is about earlier, I am sorry I hung up on you. I just freaked when I heard you were with her after the conversation we had last night. Then you didn't return my call. I just got scared."

"But it isn't only that."

"What are you trying to say Yusuke?" I managed to choke out above the sobs that were stuck in my throat. I was really scared now.

"When I am with Botan, we have fun. There isn't anything going on, but I think there could be in the future. She is really laid back, and she doesn't want a relationship either, but she has admitted she likes me, and I like her too. But neither one of us has made a move because we don't want to hurt you. I know I told you I loved you, but I don't think I know what love really is, or if I even want to ever find out. You know me so well that it scares me. I never wanted anyone to get that close, but you did, and I don't know how to handle it."

I knew what was coming next. My body became tense and tears threatened to spill over my eyes then, but I held them back as he delivered the final blow.

"Keiko, I have feelings for Botan. I think it would be best for me to look into a relationship with her. But I need some time to decide. I'm sorry, but we need to take a break. I need some time to sort out my feelings."

Instantly I broke inside. I shut my eyes and looked away from him. How could he lie to me last night? He doesn't love me. I clutched at the growing pain in my chest where my heart used to reside. Then I realized that he didn't say he was breaking up with me, we were just merely going to take a short time apart so he could sort out his feelings. I reminded myself that breaking down in front of him at this point in time would only make matters worse, so I took a breath and with my last ounce of resolve spoke.

"I understand," I said quietly. "I will give you as much time as you need. Perhaps it is I who should apologize to you. I'm sorry I've made your life so miserable. I will go now."

I grabbed the handle, but stopped and turned around to ask one more question, "Can I at least have a kiss goodnight?"

He made no move towards me, nor did he say anything. He just stared out the window. That hurt. A lot.

"I guess not." I said getting out, and then I leaned back in the doorway to add, "Yusuke, even though you said you don't feel the same, I still love you and I always will. I hope you have a good evening. Goodnight."

With that, I closed the door and walked back to my car.

This brings us back to the present. I turned on my car, pulled out and started to drive towards home. Halfway there I realized that I was way too upset to go in yet. I would have woken up the entire neighborhood I was crying so loud. So I decided to take a small detour out to one of my favorite spots.

When I arrived on that hill overlooking the city, I turned off my car and cried until I had no more tears or strength left. I cried for the loss of my best friend, my lover, my companion, and the fact that I just felt like it. I never knew it could hurt this much. He lied to me. He told me that he didn't feel that way about her. He made love to me and told me that I was the only one he wanted.

Plus, one of my best friends has told my boyfriend that she has feelings for him. She was the one I went to when I was upset from my fights from him. I don' know how many nights I spent crying in her lap. Botan was always there to stroke my hair and reassure me of Yusuke's love for me. So now I have to deal with her betrayal as well.

I knew things would never be the same after this and that fact in itself made me sad. I loved him so much and she was my friend. I didn't want things to change. But I also came to the conclusion that everything happens for a reason and I would just have to wait to find out why this was happening to me now when I needed them the most. My job is complete chaos. I have finals at school that will affect my future. My bills are piling up and I can't pay them at all. But the icing on the cake, my mother and I are fighting constantly, so even my life at home was hectic. She was keeping things fun, and he was keeping me grounded and sane. When him and I were together, none of that other stuff mattered. Even if just for a moment I could forget about all of that because I was happy with him. Now, I don't know what to think or do. Having that thought, I once again I commenced bawling.

By the time I made it home, it was close to 4:00 in the morning. I crept in the house quietly. I finally made it to my room. I was completely drained, so I crawled into my bed and passed out.

I had no idea that I had been followed until the next day.

Authors Note: So what do you think so far? Please let me know.