guess who? okay, the usual crap..
cons: that was hardly a review, ctard. OOOooooOOOoooO
pinky: lol, ur not supposed to know that yet! bo, really. Navi's got a black market, but its not for hair and its in later chappies! :P glad you liked it!
alexia: lol, yes, return when you come back. ha! lmao i cant wait to see rutos face... or well, write about it. tehe. and yes, malon is best for link. zelda is a physopathic moron with chicken pox!
ny: this is actually the last chappie i've already got written... gasp! im actually gonna have to write the next one! oh no!
mole: thanx! im realy glad you liked it :P
steven: thanx so much im glad you liked! thanx for the rating i appreciate it.. and im sorry you thought chap 8 wasnt as good, but... u see i hadnt written legendary bloopers since july when i sat down to continue it, so it was hard to pick up back where i left off. hopefully you like this chap! oh, and i do have more fics.. 2 more, actually. check 'em out!
insanemnky: lmao yeah links got major issues, but navi's worse.... trust me on that one. :P lol
raven's wolf: sry you didnt like it as much... see steven's review commentary for details. hope you like this one though! and yes, raven kicks ass! woo! :P
Legendary Bloopers: Randomness Prevails
Chapter Nine: Lost and Found
HYRULE FIELD
(it's pretty obvious, come on folks)
Link: She said yes! Now, Navi, give me that money back so I can buy an engagement ring 'n stuff. Okay?
Navi: How 'bout no?
Link: Fiinnneee. Where to?
Navi: (Looks at guide, but is holding it upside down)
Link: It's upside down.
Navi: I know that!
Link: …
Navi: There's a page missing, and I can't make heads or tails of this crap!
Link: Well, what does it say?
Navi: It says: 'Go to the Lost Woods and- Look at the map on the following page so you don't- You need to learn - it's smudged - before going to-'
Link: Well, Lost Woods it is then!
Navi: But we don't have a map!
Link: Looks on the next page, Nav.
Navi: It's missing, moron!!
Link: Oh yeah. Hmm.
Navi: Oh, wait, in fine print here its like: 'Another map can be found on page 56'.
Link: Well good. Let's go. (scratches bump on elbow and bump on stomach)
KOKIRI FOREST
(Kokiri forest)
Mido: Where ya going, freak?
Link: I dunno.
Navi: (sigh) Which way to the Lost Woods, Mido?
Mido: Why would I tell you????
Navi: (whispers in his ear and slips him something)
Mido: (glances down at the bottle of expensive hair spray she gave him) (points and grins)
Navi: Let's go, Link.
THE LOST WOODS
(some kinda Saria's song remix renamed 'the lost woods')
Link: Okay, let's be extra careful so we don't get lost.
Navi: We already are! Now be quiet so I can look at this map.
Link: Why are we even here? What are we supposed to be looking for or doing, anyway?
Navi: I dunno, that's all on the page that's ripped out. Now SHUT UP so I can read this map. Hrrmm. I think we go left.
Link: Straight. I'm sure that it's straight. Give me that! (reaches for the guide)
Navi: (flies higher) no!!
Link: (jumps up to catch it) yes!!
Navi: (flies just out of his reach) nanananana!
Link: (jumps up and down furiously)
Camera: (pulls back to observe scene)
Link: (jumps real high and grabs it) GOT IT!! (falls flat on his face and slides across the clearing with the momentum, landing sprawling in a heap on the other side) wooooaahhh
Nintendo Power Players Guide: (goes flying and lands in a bush next to one of the exit log things)
Navi: The guide! The guide! Where's the guide?!
Link: oof. (begins to search nearby shrubbery)
Navi: You mean to say that you LOST IT?!!
Link: If you had just let me see it-
Navi: YOU MORON! NOW WE ARE REALLY LOST!!!
Deku Scrub: (runs by, grabs the guide, and flees)
Link: (pointing and jumping around like a maniac) ITS THERE! ITS THERE! AFTER HIIIIMMMMM!!!!!
(Link and Navi chase the Deku Scrub around the Lost Woods all day. By now they have been going in circles and are rather irritable and dizzy. They are basically lost, annoyed, and not really interesting, so I won't record their adventures until…)
SACRED FORECT HEDGE MAZE
(Lost woods remix!)
Navi: Which way did he go?
Link: I dunno! All these Deku Scrubs look the same!!
Navi: What do you mean 'all these deku scrubs'?!
Link: (steps into hedge maze clearing and ducks a rock thrown by a deku scrub) We're in a hedge maze swarming with the things!!!
Navi: Ummm… run? (flies up and over the hedge maze)
Link: Cheater!!! Well since we don't know which one nabbed our guide, we'll have to destroy all of 'em!! CHARGE!!!
SACRED FOREST MEADOW
(saria's song)
(just outside the meadow)
Navi: Any luck yet?
Link: Screw you, Navi. No. I haven't found the dude that stole our guide.
Navi: Shhh!! Look! (points to the sacred forest meadow)
Saria: Good work, General Patooie! With in my possession, I shall force Link to play my song on the ocarina… PERFECTLY!!! (evil laugh)
Deku Scrub (General Patooie): (speaking robotically) No problem, Saria. The fugitives are nearing the meadow. They got past the armed forces I placed in the maze. (calling to another Deku Scrub located behind Link and Navi) Sergeant Spit-a-lot! Make your report!
Deku Scrub (Sergeant Spit-a-Lot): CODE RED! CODE RED! INTRUDER ALERT!!
Alarm System: (weird alarm noises) (the meadow flashes red and metal gates lower on all the entrances, locking Link and Navi in)
(Deku Scrubs close in on Link and Navi and push them forward)
General Patooie: (speaking robotically) You are now in the presence of Master Chief Saria, commander of the Deku Scrub Force in the Lost Woods. Speak now or forever hold your peace.
Saria: …General Patooie, tell your forces to clear off and LEAVE! Link, well well well. hmm hmm. So you came, did you meet the Goron yet?
Navi: Give us back our guide, Saria!
Link: (trembling) I'm sorry I was mean to you, Saria. Really! Wait... what Goron?
Saria: I will give you your guide on one condition…
Link and Navi: (gulp)
(hours later)
Link: (sobbing) I... I JUST CAN'T DO IT!!!! WAAAA!! boo hoo cry cry cry (throws ocarina at Saria in frustration)
Navi: Link, come on. All you have to do is PLAY A FRIGGIN SONG!!
Saria: Saria's song, to be exact. (waves guide longingly in front of their faces) Let's have another go, eh? (tosses Link his ocarina)
Link: (pouts)
Navi: Come ON! (slaps Link)
Link: (whining) OOoohhhh…. (wearily picks up ocarina)
LATER, HYRULE FIELD
(Hyrule field; for goodness sake!)
Navi: (humming Saria's song, tauntingly)
Link: (whirls on her) SHUT… UP!!!!!!!!!!
Navi: (sarcastically) Woah.
Link: (flings guide at Navi) Take your friggin guide. Took me long enough to get it for you!
Navi: Sheesh. Look, to Kakariko, all right?
Link: Do we have to?
KAKARIKO VILLAGE
(kakariko village. need I say more?)
Link: We'll play in the village later. (grabs Navi and crushes her in his fist, he is obviously still pissed off) Which way?
Navi: Ummm… (can't breathe) …up…
Link: (cheerily) Let's go!
(Link runs hurriedly through the village and towards the guard by the gate. He'll play around with the chickens and stuff later, no worries.)
Navi: (cough hack cough) (choking) air….
Link: (Lets her go) Oh yeah. Oopsie.
Navi: (glares)
stay tuned for scenes from the next amazing race! wait, nooo...
next wednesday: no, not that..
previously on ALIAS... crap, what is it?
ummm... comin' up next is...
Link's obsession with.... bomb flowers?
Navi's adventures as a prisoner of war!
Darunia doing DDR, yes i know that there is a lot of hype about that i better write it out good
annnddddd...
that's all i will reveal! its all in chapter 10: going up, so stay tuned -
empress, who may or may not be on your faves list but will be there eventually, its only a matter of time