Buckle in Boys. TW: Graphic Violence

Thorin

Nothing could ever be simple. An otherwise decent journey had to be spoiled in some way. Everything must have been going too well, so the world had to start throwing things back at them. To hinder and slow them down. Trolls, it seemed, would be the main event today. Thorin did not want to believe Leah about them. However, most of the future information that she had shared thus far had been truthful. She knew about the Hobbit and the Shire before he'd even told her where they were going, so he had no choice but to believe her. If he chose not to listen, and then something bad came to pass, it would be on his head. That did not mean that he appreciated wandering into a forest to steal from a troll's hoard.

He just needed to make sure that they weren't all crushed to death in the meantime. He had chosen the halfling and Dwalin to accompany him. Dwalin was his strongest fighter and Mister Baggins would be needed to sneak in and find the weapons.

Partway into the forest, they came across the pounding of large footsteps. Quickly, they ducked behind trees and tried to remain out of sight. From this vantage point, he could see two trolls meandering through the trees. One dragged a large cauldron behind it, the legs digging thick grooves into the sodden earth, and the other followed behind. They passed surprisingly quickly, considering their size. Thorin let himself relax slightly as they disappeared from view, stepping out from behind the tree. They went to inspect the path the trolls had made a surefire way back to their dwelling.

It was as they were outside the cover of the trees that Thorin recalled what Leah had told him. There were three trolls, not two. The sound of crashing footsteps coming towards them echoed his mistake. Dwalin was already close to a hiding place, but he and Bilbo were not. Without thinking, Thorin quickly grabbed Bilbo and hauled him behind a tree. One of Thorin's hands covered the hobbit's mouth, and the other held him close to his chest. He could feel Bilbo fidgeting under his hands, but he held strong until the troll had completely disappeared. It felt safer to keep the burglar close. A muffled voice mumbled below his hand, and Thorin finally relinquished his grip on the hobbit.

"That was completely unnecessary," Bilbo sputtered. "You do realise that I am completely capable of being silent on my own. Probably better than you can be."

A redness spread across Bilbo's cheeks. His behaviour made Thorin want to smile. We're all hobbits this dramatic? He simply rolled his eyes instead, wringing a short chuckle from Dwalin.

They followed the trail of destruction as best they could while keeping an ear out for any indication of their return. The path seemed to be well travelled by these beasts, compacted and clear of debris. They must have been here for quite some time.

It was the smell that first alerted them that they were close. A cloying, acrid scent that threatened to consume you. They tried to breathe as little as possible, as they followed their nose. It was a rather nondescript cave from the outside. A hole set into a flat rock wall. The only reason they knew they'd found the right place was because of the destruction and the smell.

"Is that the cave then?" asked Bilbo, his voice wavering slightly.

"Seems to be," said Dwalin. Who then gave Bilbo a little shove forward. "Off ye go then."

Bilbo dug his heels into the ground."Wait, wait, wait," He muttered "What am I even supposed to be looking for?"

Dwalin pursed his lips "The girl said weapons," he said, shrugging, not overly helpful.

"Swords, Master Baggins. Leah says that there are fine swords in this cave. Ignore everything that looks rusted or damaged," said Thorin, his arms crossed tightly across his chest.

"Right, swords," Bilbo scrunched up his nose. Then he spun back to face the entrance of the cave "I'll just…be off then,"

Then he scampered off, with a very staggered pace, right towards the cave. Thorin and Dwalin set up watches on either side of the cave mouth, ever vigilant, scanning the trees ahead of them. He could hear clattering behind him followed by Bilbo's mutterings. A loud crash from inside the cave had Thorin turning towards it.

"What was that?" Thorin demanded.

He could hear a pained groan from inside the cavern. Just as he was about to follow the noise inside, he heard Bilbo's voice. "I'm fine. Just some blasted plate armour landed on my foot."

Thorin sighed deeply "Have you found anything yet, Master Baggins?" If the hobbit didn't find anything soon he was going to regret bringing him along on this journey.

"I found a couple of things, but it's so dark it's hard to tell whether they are the right ones."

Damn, they should have brought a torch with them. That lack of foresight was on him. "Just hurry out, and we'll see what you've found."

The sound of Bilbo's steps got closer. But so did another's.

"Thorin!" Dwalins worried voice drew his gaze away from the cave.

Thorin's eyes darted about until he saw what had gotten Dwalin so spooked. "Troll!"

Leah

Fili volunteered to go and rally the others. That left Kili and I to tail the thing. Realistically, we needed to get in front of it so that we could give the other adequate time to flee. However, that was easier said than done. Whereas the troll got to follow its own beaten path, we had to climb over rocks and bushes, while also avoiding being seen.

We managed to get in front of it and made good headway. I could see the cave through the trees, along with Dwalin and Thorin. Just as I was about to call out, Dwalin beat me to it, catching sight of the troll before we could warn them.

"Thieves!" Tom roared and yelled for the others to join him.

Thorin drew his sword and Dwalin drew his axes. The troll swung for them with its overly large fists and they expertly rolled away. Kili wasted no time drawing his own sword and entering the fray.

"Kili, what are you doing here?" yelled Thorin.

"Warning you!" Kili yelled back, just about avoiding the troll's hand. He swung his sword around, trying to hack at its legs. The sword merely bounced off, not even leaving a dent.

Two more roars sounded through the trees and I knew I was running out of time. Bert and William crashed through the trees and threw their own fists into the mix. Dwalin narrowly avoided a manic grab for his leg and responded with an axe to its gnarled fingers. The troll grunted but showed no other signs of injury.

Several pairs of feet thundered past me as the rest of the company joined the fight. Dwarven battle cries filled the air as they crowded round the trolls, swinging and hitting out at their legs.

I was still in the trees, watching as they hopelessly attacked its impenetrable hide. My limbs locked together and froze me to the spot. I had zero confidence in my new found sword skills and knew I would be more of a hindrance if I got under their feet. There must be some other way I could help them from the sidelines. To distract them like Bilbo had.

What did I have at hand? There was the sword at my hip, Kili's dagger in my pocket and a wind up torch in my hand.

Wait, the torch! Trolls were scared of sunlight, perhaps I could trick them.

I wound the kinetic torch with frantic hands until it gained enough power to glow. When it seemed like it was bright enough I swung the beam around and directed it towards a troll. The bright, white beam was more powerful than firelight and it blinded the beast. It staggered backwards with a pathetic squeal.

"Am blind!"

I swung the beam into another one of their eyes.

"It's tha sun"

The dwarves took this advantage and started their assault. I stepped out from the trees so that I could train the light beam better, swapping between each of the trolls faces. It seemed like we were getting the upper hand.

That was until one of the trolls realised that my torch wasn't actually harming them. With anger in his eyes and a guttural growl, he charged towards me. I didn't even get the chance to dodge before a hand reached out and grabbed me around the middle. A scream ripped its way out of my throat as I was hauled into the air. The torch flew from my hand and into the treeline.

Its skin was rough like stone, scraping against my torso. The pressure was unrelenting and unforgiving and I felt the crunch of my ribcage as it squeezed. All my breath wooshed out of me in a wheeze and I struggled to gain more than a sip of air in return.

"Drop ya arms or we'll crush this 'un," yelled the troll holding me.

I heard the clang of dropped weapons all around me. Panic gripped me nearly as tightly as the troll's fist. My arms were blessedly free and I was desperately trying to push the hand open but it was like trying to get a statue to change its shape.

"Wot ya got there Bert?"

"It's an Elf!"

"I've never 'ad elf before. A bet they're tender," a troll reached out with a grubby finger and tried to poke me in the stomach.

"Leave her alone!" I heard Kili shout from below.

The troll holding me swung me away. Trees blurred with the motion. "Ge' roff this ones mine."

"No I wan' some."

"No me."

The trolls were clambering over each other trying to get to me.

"NO THE ELF IS MINE!" came a loud voice from behind us.

The trolls backed off and searched around for the source of the voice, their faces uncertain. My torch had been flung into the forest and it now cast its light onto the cave wall. Some of the light was blocked by a huge hulking shadow. It writhed and moved, like a strange dark creature lay in its path.

"Who's tha," said one of the trolls, its voice wobbling slightly "Show ya self."

"I'M A HOBBIT," the voice bellowed. "AND THAT ELF IS MY MEAL."

Was that Bilbo's voice? I had no idea he could sound so menacing. Or make such great shadow puppets. The grip around my middle loosened as fear gripped the troll. It allowed me to take a stuttering inhale.

"BEGONE OR FACE MY WRATH." The shadow creature extended what appeared to be arms.

The trolls were visibly shaking. It was working!

That was until the torch started flickering out, running out of energy. It needed to be spun. Unfortunately, Bilbo did not know that and the torch flickered off, leaving us all in darkness and making the new 'Monster' disappear from the cave wall.

"There's no one out ther'. Ya takin' us all for fools," yelled Bert.

His grip increased exponentially, and I thought my ribs would break. A white-hot flash of pain rippled through me and an agonised sob tore its way out unbidden. Writhing panic coiled tightly within my chest, and it felt like I was going to die. I struggled against the hand, my panic reaching a fever pitch. Let Go! Let Go! Let Go!

"LET ME GO!" I slammed my hands down on the troll.

A feeling of electricity flowed across my skin, vibrating beneath my hands. As soon as I slapped my hands down a white, blinding light blasted out of them. The force of it reverberated up my arms and chattered my teeth. The troll's skin beneath my touch immediately started to calcify, hardening below me. I was dropped unceremoniously onto the ground, and my legs twisted below me.

The world swayed in my vision, and each breath was hindered, pulling achingly against bruised muscles. I lifted my head to find the troll. Immense tiredness fell upon me, and my head lolled to one side. What the hell just happened?

The troll's whole hand was stuck in one position, like an action figure made of moulded plastic. What was once flesh was now truly stone, pale and crumbling, including the troll's face, its expression frozen into one of horror. It swayed perilously from side to side before falling forwards, crashing face-first into the ground.

"Bert? Bert!" he shook the downed troll.

"He's dead."

"She killed him."

The ground rumbled with the trampling of feet. They fell over one another, trying to back away.

"The dawn will take you all," A loud crack broke through the night, and several trees were felled. Burgeoning sunlight shone into the clearing, weak but enough. The remaining trolls scrambled for the safety of their cave, but it was too late. They froze and solidified into petrified statues.

My head was swimming, sluggish and undulating. The ground refused to get back into focus, wavering to and fro. I squeezed my eyes shut to quell rising nausea and brought a hand up to my forehead. This skin was sweat-soaked and heated, but the coolness from my fingertips gave me some relief.

"Leah, Leah. Oh, Mahal, are you okay?" Kili's voice came from behind me. I felt myself being brought into an embrace, and I just let my head loll back onto a firm chest.

After a few deep breaths, I could sense my tiredness fading somewhat, starting with the tips of my fingers and toes and working its way in. My limbs, though still a little shaky, started to feel like my own again, and my strength returned in small increments.

"I think so," I said eventually, nodding into his chest.

When I felt like the world was no longer about to implode, I risked opening my eyes. My vision blurred initially but snapped back into focus after a few forceful blinks.

"That was quite the performance, Bilbo Baggins. I didn't know you had it in you," Gandalf mused.

"Quite the performance indeed," echoed Thorin.

"Oh, well, when I saw the light from the torch, it reminded me of the shadow monsters I used to make to tell fauntlings scary stories…That's where I got the voice from as well," said Bilbo.

Half of the dwarves had ventured into the troll hoard while the others milled about outside. Whenever my eyes landed on someone I was met by uneasy glances. Cautious and even a little fearful.

I brought my hands up to my face so that I could inspect the culprits myself. The skin wasn't even warm and no undercurrent of foreign energy traced under the surface. They were just normal. Yet there was no mistaking the blinding white light that shot out of them like a star exploding. I had reduced a troll to rock, killed it when no one else could. The ramifications of such power felt like a lead weight of uncertainty in my gut.

Gandalf appeared in my eyeline, leaning heavily on his staff. He reached out with his other hand and clasped my shoulder.

"My dear, what did you do?"

"I don't know. I just wanted to get away."

"That was no small feat, Leah. That was quite a powerful blast of magic," he pondered, his gaze piercing and assessing as if a new puzzle piece had fallen into place.

"Magic? How can I have magic? I'm not even from here."

"I am not certain," he said "Tell me, my dear, have there been any other strange happenstances since you arrived here?"

As good a time as any to finally come clean to Gandalf. "I've been having weird...visions. Like memories but they aren't mine."

"You are certain they are not your own?" Gandalf raised his eyebrows questioningly.

"Well yes...and no. They include my family but they're all elves and involve things I know I've never done."

Gandalf peered at me appraisingly. "You are becoming quite the mystery Miss Leah Orrison."

Gandalf returned to standing, leaving me reeling from his cryptic insinuations. The wizard had some theories about me, I was certain, but he would not deign to share them aloud quite yet.

One of Kili's hands accidentally brushed against my bruised ribs and I hissed a breath through my teeth. He was quick to remove it again.

"I'm sorry, are you injured?" I nodded. "Oin, we need your help."

He had to yell a few times before the dwarf heard him. His hearing wasn't the greatest. Then he gathered his medical bag and made his way over to us. "We'll need to lift your shirt if I'm to get a look at yer ribs lass."

That made sense. He didn't exactly have x-ray vision. But I also knew that these dwarves would probably freak out if I started stripping. Fili and Kili saw my uncertainty and decided to act as a shield and block others from my view. Oin then asked me to lift my shirt. I had a sports bra on underneath, so I wasn't really that bothered about what the dwarf saw.

Purpling bruises banded around my ribcage in a ring, though not as bad as I thought it would be. Oin echoed my observations, his hands ghosting over my ribs.

"These don't look too bad, lass. Nothing's broken. Though I'm not well-versed in elven anatomy, I guess that they'll heal in a few days or so," then he motioned for me to lower my shirt. He reached into the bag behind him and drew out a weird root of some sort.

"Here, chew on this," He handed me the root "It'll help with the pain."

I gave it a sniff. It was very earthy with an oddly bitter scent. Tentatively, I bit down, my face screwed up as I chewed. Eugh, that's horrible. Fili and Kili, now allowed to look back, laughed at my disgusted expression. Fili crossed his arms across his chest and raised his eyebrows at me.

"You lied to me."

"What? When?" I said, confused.

"When you told me that you couldn't conjure light from thin air," he said matter-of-factly.

A surprised laugh bubbled up "Oh shut up, you're not helping."

"Careful Fili, she might blast you away," Kili joked from behind me.

I gave up trying to rein them in with a shake of my head.

It was as I was stuck in my own thoughts when a very bedraggled wizard crashed into the field, screaming bloody murder. Huge rabbits bound their way towards us before settling down by a tree. I nearly jumped out of my skin, and I am not proud of the yelp that escaped me before I could stop myself.

But it was just Radagast The Brown making his fated entrance. The wizard was a little scatterbrained and a lot dirty, with bird poop trailing down his head. I tried not to grimace when he pulled a stick insect from his tongue. There's liking nature and then there's that. Gandalf went off to talk to Radagast, moving them both into the trees so they could converse alone. Everyone else went about their own business again but an uneasiness settled over me like a bucket of ice water. My muscles twitched and I felt a sudden need to move, to run.

It took a few seconds for my brain to catch up with my instincts, and then I was on my feet, startling a confused Kili and bounding over to Thorin.

"Leah?"

"We need to move. We need to leave," I spoke quickly.

Thorin was instantly alert, his shining new sword dropping to his side. "Why, what's wrong?"

"Orcs! There's going to be orcs crawling all over this area." I would have warned them earlier, but I was too busy clinging to consciousness by my fingertips. Now we might have lost any advantage my knowledge could have offered us.

Thorin's eyebrows raised, but he didn't look too surprised."Kili warned me of this," he turned to the company. "Everyone, ready your weapons. We need to move now!"

"Why the haste, Thorin?" said Gandalf, who had just emerged from the trees.

"Orcs," Thorin spat. Then a wild howl split through the air, confirming his suspicions.

"There's no time to get the ponies, we left them back at camp," said Ori, looking worriedly into the forest.

"We will have to run."

Radagast, thankfully, agreed to lead the orcs away. His Rhosgobel rabbits bounded away at tremendous speed, disappearing into the plains beyond.

It was difficult to run with bruised ribs. Each movement tugged awkwardly on the injured muscles and twinged. But I breathed through the pain, each breath following a burning path to my lungs and out again, and pushed myself to run faster. Adrenaline set a rampant course through my body, giving me the push and willpower I needed.

We wound our way out of the trees and into a vast grassland. The cover of rocks was few and far between and we had to time our jogging bursts accurately to remain unseen.

Radagast's sleigh raced in the distance and I received my first unobstructed sight of an orc. Its skin was sickly green, the colour of mould rather than the fresh green of new life. Everything about it was made up of sharp unyielding lines. From the spikes on its armour down to the filed points of its teeth.

A quivering, thrashing panic crawled its way up the ladder of my ribcage and got lodged in the hollow of my throat. Tight, restricting, my breath stuttered to a stop, and I nearly choked on it. My sight glazed over, replacing the orc with another. One that bared down at me from above, holding a dripping serrated blade. Full of mocking laughter and black spittle. Going to Kill me. Going to kill me. Going to–

"Leah, you can't stop!" Fili whispered forcefully, grabbing me by the elbow and dragging me behind a boulder.

I blinked and shook my head, trying to rid myself of the image. I had no idea where that came from. The beast from my nightmares wasn't real, it shouldn't have affected me like that.

Thorin peered around the edge and bid the way clear. He motioned for us to follow behind and we raced after him. Fili's hand remained firmly attached to my elbow, not risking another episode from me. Just as we were making our way to the next cover, the gnarled snout of a warg scout appeared around the corner. Thorin diverted us to the left, tucking us between two rock walls. The warg sniffed the air, white strands of drool leaking between bared teeth. It traced a path behind us, following the way we had just come from. The company took its distracted attention as an opportunity to press on.

A large rocky outcrop loomed high above us, and we pressed ourselves flat against the wall. It felt like my heart was beating behind my clenched teeth as we waited, debating our next move.

The crunch of stone crumbling underfoot reverberated from above, and everyone froze. A lone rider circled above, knocking a rain of rubble down on us. Dwalin raised a finger to his lips,1 and everyone clenched their jaws in a bid to remain silent. But the thunder of everyone's ragged breath sounded like a beacon to my ears, practically shouting our location, blaring and undeniable.

But there was nowhere to hide, and the body of the beast soon came into view, learing from above. Kili readied his bow in one fluid move and shot at them, not even waiting for Thorin's signal. His arrow cut through the orc's throat, spewing a torrent of black blood and sending the monster careening over the edge. The warg leapt over in a bid to save its rider, landing in a tangle of limbs. Bifur and Dwalin launched themselves at the creature, fighting it with tooth and nail, axe and spear. Bifur thrust his spear deep into the warg's belly, and Dwalin chopped at its skull with a large axe. They felled it quickly.

Quickly but not quietly.

The screams alerted the other scouts to our location and a stampede of footsteps bounded towards our location. So we ran. Harder than we had already been running, pushing ourselves to extremes. The orcs circled round us with rallying cries. Whenever we tried to slip around them another would flank us, funnelling us into one direction. Swords swung out and arrows were fired. I narrowly missed the swing of a dagger as it whistled past my head and buried itself in the soft earth. I lost several hairs but kept my neck.

They surrounded us from all sides and we crashed to a stop. There was nowhere left to run, nowhere to avoid them.

"Stay together!" yelled Thorin, brandishing his sword.

Everyone formed a tight circle, watching the orc scouts get nearer. They stalked towards us with exaggerated slowness, playing with their prey. A wicked grin stretched across their faces as they sized us all up and came back wanting.

"Where's Gandalf?"

"Where's the wizard?" I heard someone yelling.

"Over here you fools," Gandalf peeked out from behind a large boulder, urging us to follow him.

The dwarves gave each other a disbelieving glance before barrelling after the wizard, nearly tripping over their own feet in the process. Dwalin and Bofur got there first, throwing themselves over the edge with little regard for what might have been on the other side. I heard a grunt of pain as they landed at the bottom, but they were otherwise unharmed. The rest of the dwarves followed their lead.

The orcs watched our attempt at escape with burning contempt and a roar bellowed through their ranks. A warcry echoed back and they started firing on us, littering the path with black arrows. The rest of the riders closed in, determined to catch the stragglers.

Only a few people remained when I charged to the cave mouth. It was a straight shot down into its dark depths. The ground was a lot further down than I expected, the gap yawned threateningly below. But I would take a twisted ankle over the orcs any day.

"Mr Baggins into the cave now!" Thorin yelled from the entrance, surveying our collective escape.

Bilbo gave me a fearful glance to ensure I was still there before taking a leap of faith. Then it was my turn. I turned, hoping to find Kili at my back, only to find him several yards out firing on the enemy. Alone and surrounded, the orcs pressed ever closer.

A ringing blared in my ears as an explosion of dread rippled through me. He was too far away. Too close to the enemy. Too exposed. An orc charged in from Kili's left, sword aloft, ready to blindside him.

My feet were moving before I consciously thought about it, twisting away from safety and running into the mouth of the beast. Thorin yelled my name behind me but I pushed on, I was faster than him, I'd get to Kili first.

The blade in my hands felt awkward and clumsy as I tore it from its scabbard. The orc, barely a few feet from Kili now, rounded its arm to swing back. But it had not noticed my relentless sprint before it was too late and I raised my own blade. I brought my sword down with as much force as I could muster, splitting the skin and muscle of its arm. Its fingers spasmed open and the weapon clattered to the ground, no longer a danger. It hissed in pain and missed its mark.

Kili startled at the noise and rounded on me.

"Leah?"

"Kili we need to go!" I yelled, grabbing his shoulder, forcing him to come back with me.

Wide eyed, he finally noticed that everyone else had retreated. Only Thorin was left, racing over to our location, ready to drag us back by our coattails. Kili switched into gear and we retreated as fast as we could without turning our back on the enemy. We dodged their incoming attacks, having to jump, duck and weave to escape a gruesome fate. Thorin reached us, grabbed onto Kili's arm and pulled him backwards.

"Come on, quickly!"

We were so close. One final sprint was all we needed, but it would require leaving our backs exposed. Before I chanced such a feat, I spun, searching for any immediate danger. My body lurched to a stop when I found myself level with the devastating point of an arrow. If its aim remained true, it would find its home buried deep into my chest, spearing through my heart. There was no coming back from that.

I could almost see my own fear reflected in the orc's eye as it fired the shot. I didn't even get the chance to move.

"No!" Kili's voice sounded as if it was coming from the other end of a long tunnel.

But the arrow never found its mark. One moment I was upright, facing my own death, the next there was a powerful shove at my back, and the momentum sent me careening into the grass. The landing forced the air out of my lungs, nearly winding me. I reached up to my chest with frantic fingers, finding only the soft wool of Kili's tunic and not the fierce tip of an arrow. A flash of sweet soaked relief swept through me.

The arrow missed me. I'm not dead!

I turned, ready to thank Kili, but all lingering vestiges of relief left my lungs in a strangled choke. The arrow had found a new mark. Buried in the left side of Kili's chest.

For a moment, my mind refused to comprehend what I was seeing. Struggled to piece together the red stain growing across his shirt or the arrow shaft protruding from his skin. It didn't make sense because it was impossible. This could not happen. This was not supposed to happen. Kili was not supposed to get hurt.

The world froze in one abhorrent instance, pinning me there like a prisoner. It held my eyelids open, forcing me to watch. A torture I never thought I'd live through.

Then Kili cried out, and it shattered into inconceivable little pieces. Kili looked down at the arrow, uncomprehending. He reached up to touch it, and blood flowed between the gaps of his fingers. Kili fell to his knees, his breathing pained and shallow.

"Kili, no!" Thorin roared, grabbing Kili roughly by the shoulder

The agony in Thorin's voice shook something loose inside me, and I clambered to my feet. We needed to move. To get to safety. Kili would be fine. We would find the elves and force them to heal him. He would be saved because that is the only option that I would allow. If Kili died here, they might as well throw me to the orcs too.

I grabbed Kili's other shoulder and tugged with gritted teeth. Kili screamed out, the movement disturbing his puncture wound. The sound bulldozed its way into a vulnerable part of me. The pain was almost physical, plucking on exposed nerves. But with burning tears, I ignored Kili's cries of pain and pulled him faster. The journey to the cave mouth felt impossibly long. Like time warped and stretched on for eternity, leaving us in that moment for as long as possible.

A horn sounded in the distance, startling the remaining orcs, but it barely registered in my mind as the cave finally loomed behind us. Thorin positioned Kili's legs over the edge of the hole and pushed, sending them both over. I was close behind, the rock rough enough to cut my hands as I fell. I barely felt it. My eyes were only for Kili

Kili landed with a wheeze. He didn't even have enough air to cry out. There was a mad scramble of people and a wall of raised voices, but Thorin forced them all back to make room for Kili.

"Oin. Help!"

His skin lost what little colour it had left, sallow and pale like his life was already leaving him. Even his lips had been reduced to a bruised purple hue. A sheen of sweat clung to every inch of exposed skin, pooling at the hollow of his throat. His eyes were open, crazed and pained. They flickered blindly around him as if he couldn't see or couldn't process his surroundings.

I dropped to my knees, bringing a hand up to his face. His skin was uncomfortably warm and slick beneath my fingers.

"Kili," my throat felt thick, like trying to speak with a closed fist around my neck. "You'll be okay. Everything will be fine."

His eyes, though out of focus, found mine and lingered. The pupils were blown so wide they were almost completely black. These weren't the eyes I had fallen for, these were anguished and agonised, a stranger's, but I held them in earnest, refusing to look away. Kili's face blurred, and the world went fuzzy. I tried to blink away my tears as fast as I could, but there was always more to take their place.

"Leah, you need to move," someone said. It might have been Bofur, might have been Balin, maybe neither. My mind stopped paying attention to everything around me.

Hands found their way to my shoulders. Their tugging was gentle but insistent as they tried to pull me away. The second my skin was no longer in contact with Kili's, wild desperation flooded through me.

I can't leave him. I can't leave him. I can't. I yanked my arms back with surprising strength, startling the person behind me, and threw myself back at Kili. If I was next to him he would be fine. He would be safe. If I left, then the worst would happen. Each statement felt like an unflinching truth. My thoughts, raving and irrational, whipped themselves into a tornado in my mind.

"You're okay. You're okay. You're okay," I whispered the words like a mantra. If I said it enough, it might be true.

Kili opened his mouth, breath hissing between his teeth. He looked like he wanted to say something, but no words could form on his lips. A desolate misery filled his eyes when he realised he couldn't speak.

He opened his mouth to try again, only for a heartwrenching, tortured cry to escape instead.

It was the worst sound I had ever heard. I cringed inwards, wishing for it to stop, to end. If I never heard that sound again, it would be too soon. I wanted to cover my ears and hide from it, like a child with a nightmare. But I forced myself to stay, to remain in the present and close to Kili.

The source of Kili's pain became evident from the broken arrow shaft in Oin's palm. His hand was stained a deep red from the blood but also with strands of a sticky black substance that must have coated the wood.

But the arrow had been keeping most of the blood in. With the protrusion now gone, nothing was stopping it from seeping out of the wound in great streaming rivulets.

"You can't take it out. He'll bleed out!" My voice sounded hollow yet keening to my ears, but I cared very little.

My hands quickly covered the wound and pressed down as hard as I could. I had to slow the bleeding. He had already lost too much. Kili had less than a minute left to live if I let up even a little.

The heat was the most noticeable thing, as the warm wetness of body-heated blood seeped between the cracks in my fingers. Then it was the way the frayed skin felt beneath my palm. Tattered yet uncomfortably pliant, it squelched and had too much give. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. I would feel these sensations in my nightmares. Long after the event was over. They would haunt my every step.

"It's a Morghul shaft; it would poison him faster than the blood loss would kill him."

I was no longer listening. The blood wasn't stopping. I wasn't enough. It wasn't working. The only sound my ears picked up was the staccato beat of Kili's heart. Slowing. Slowing. Slowing.

No, no, no. Kili let out a rattling choking noise, like a drowning man succumbing to the waves and taking on water. Small drops of blood sputtered from his mouth, leaving a spattering of red across his face. His eyes that had held me through all of this ordeal dimmed and dimmed and dimmed, shuttering out like a candle.

His chest stopped rising.

His heart stopped beating.

Kili died afraid on the cold dark cave floor.