Well, I've got another chapter for you. I feel almost guilty for this, but it was time to understand what's up with Legolas, I think.

One thing several commented on was what Legolas was doing at the time, or if he was watching the stars as well. I left it kind of open so you can put your own take on it--but he could be in one of those few places that could see into the little nook, and he could have been listening. Just speculating there. That's one really nice thing about writing entirely from one person's point of view--the other characters are complete mysteries unless details are known to the one whose thoughts we know. Of course, sometimes you just really want to know...

Thus, this chapter.

Review response:

LadyJadePerendhil: I had to laugh at the image of him dragging her off... but it wouldn't work. This chapter should explain a lot, in that department. He's far from braindead--if anything he thinks too much.

Animir: As long as the school computers work (and school is in session, and I'm not overwhelmed by school work) then the updates should be weekly again.

The Luckiest: Thanks. I'll eventually get done. I've yet to abandon a story I've started posting, and I really don't plan to ever start. This one was odd in that my planned ending just wasn't right, didn't work. I felt... almost cheated whenever I read it... so I changed it, and on we go!

farflung: a busy, hot summer. I only got paid for the manual labor though. Sigh. Well, sorry to burst your little Leaf bubble, but he wasn't there. It was simply a memory of him as he had once been that she saw in that moment. Her Leaf is gone, but she's only beginning to realize that. I totally agree that they need to go back to friends first...

iria-86: Would Aragorn work instead?

bratprincess: LoL. Yup, I got it. Here you go.

Chapter 40

There may not have been any stars visible, but I was still enjoying the day. The sun was lazily glancing down through soft white clouds, and a small breeze came through the rocks, washing over the grasses and leaves.

I shifted a little, knowing I would look a bit foolish to any who saw me. With all the free land…well, rock, around me to sit on, I was more or less crouched in a crevice.

And why? Because one of the few trees in that area was growing just beneath my feet, its branches reaching up and shading that crevice so well I could almost think myself again in a forest… were it not for the sharp pieces of jagged rock jutting into my thighs and back.

I am a wood-elf, after all, and not having trees to talk to had upset me greatly, that internal balance between self and nature that I was beginning to see humans didn't need to have… nor did they even understand it. They made me feel foolish when I tried to talk to their White Tree, so I had gone searching for another one close enough I didn't need a horse to get to it and back within a day… and finally found it.

So I was sitting on an amalgamation of jagged rocks with leaf-cut sunlight brushing my leggings. I closed my eyes with a small smile despite my admitted foolishness, letting my mind drift off to the forest of my birth as I began to regain my balance, taking the edge off everything that had been happening.

"Aragorn—" The tired, exasperated voice snapped my eyes wide open, my relaxed muscles tensing tightly. "I do not wish to discuss this farther."

"Clearly," snapped Estel, "but you must speak with someone."

"Why? Am I not old enough to deal with this on my own?" Legolas retorted furiously.

"Don't try it, Legolas—Arwen agreed, and is little younger than you."

"Estel—"

"Legolas?" Estel sounded beyond furious, his voice sharp and stony. "You are hurting her." There was silence for a moment, and then Legolas stepped into view, moving rather rigidly, for an elf. "I don't understand why you won't even speak to her. If you no longer love her, at least tell her that!"

"No longer—" he whirled around, eyes wide and shocked. "Of course I love her!"

"I have not seen you show it in her presence since before the quest."

"She… she didn't come. I was sure she would. Everyday I watched and waited with my heart in my throat… and she didn't come." His head bowed slightly as he looked away from Estel.

"She couldn't. You didn't see the wound. Had I been there I would have tied her to the bed if it was what I had to do, to keep her from traveling so quickly. She ignored her pain, her friends and your father to get to you as quickly as she could. Yet all you can see is that she didn't come when you wanted her."

"Not when I wanted her, Aragorn," he sighed. "When I expected, trusted she would be here."

"Did she tell you she would be?"

Legolas lifted dark eyes. "Well, no—"

"She told Arwen she would try to come. She came."

"And how was I to know there was a reason this time? For all I knew she had just decided we were getting too close, and needed space."

"You didn't have a promise from her to come here. If she had not come, would you have treated her so coldly upon your return home?" Estel's arms were crossed, his frown severe. When Legolas didn't speak, Estel continued, his voice chilling. "What if she hadn't come for another reason?"

"Like someone else?" Legolas suggested bitterly.

"No," Estel ground out even as my heart clenched. "Like death."

The world paused for a moment, checked to be sure it had heard right, and then continued on.

"She could have died, Legolas. She could have given her life in his place—and would have, if it was needed. For an elf to give up life willingly, there is love involved." His voice had softened slightly. "She nearly died to save your father."

Legolas's head lifted, taking in Estel's face. His eyes, already dark, looked darker in his colorless face. "What?"

"Oh, the letter didn't mention that?" Estel's voice was pitched so it sounded almost nice, though he was still clearly furious. "The blade went so deep it cleanly broke the bone. I'm guessing she had blood in her lungs, once the blade was removed, though I haven't asked. Even if it didn't go that deep, had tremendous effort to save her not followed…"

I blinked. I certainly didn't know much about serious wounds by the look of them… and no one had ever actually told me… They just welcomed me back.

I looked up at the sound of a few scuffled rocks to see Legolas sink to a small boulder, his body shaking. I started to get up before stopping myself. Estel took a step, but stopped himself as well. "She still bears it."

"What?" Legolas frowned, lifting his head.

"You heard me."

"No matter the extent of the wound, it should be gone…"

"Yes, it should," Estel agreed, gaze hard.

Legolas's eyes closed, his head falling down. His hands lifted to rub at his neck, stilling when Estel spoke once more.

"What keeps you from her?"

He shrugged, not bothering to look up.

"Stubbornness? Pride? Fear? Lack of care?"

"I love her," he protested.

"How much? Enough?"

"Enough that we…"

"What? I won't believe what you say, anyway. Not when you haven't cared enough to notice how much you're hurting her."

A strangled laugh rose from Legolas's hunched form. His head snapped up, eyes blazing so vibrantly my heart leaped—that was Leaf! "Haven't noticed?" He leapt to his feet and began pacing. "Haven't noticed? Valar! How could I not notice, Aragorn?"

Estel was silent for a long moment. "Then why do you persist? How can you love her and willingly hurt her?"

The pacing stuttered to a stop, the proud head falling as the shoulders slumped in, making him look much younger and like he'd been scolded and pushed out into the cold rain. "Aragorn… loving each other has already nearly killed us both. That, and the trouble of our—" He laughed faintly, bitterly, "—as you said—stubbornness and pride forced us to be at odds even when we were together. She eventually left… and I cannot blame her for it. You were there for our… reunion…" His lips twisted in a bitter mockery of a smile. "When I left, things were better than they had been before I knew she was one of my best friends. It was a bitter truth I carried with me through our trials—that if I survived, she would be there, and things would be good. Then," he sighed, "the quest was over, and Arwen asked to be informed as soon as she was spotted, and all the fear I'd squashed through the quest, all the worry over what might or could happen, all the sorrow and pain of the burden… all came together as such a desperate hope and longing to see her that I…" He shook his head and cleared his throat. "When she hadn't arrived for your coronation… I was crushed. And then angry, for a good while, even after I found out why, though I would have gladly attacked Joy with my bread knife when he hurt her. But when she left… I began to think instead of react, and realized I was in the wrong. I was the one who had failed to trust. Yes, I had been hurt, but by my own expectations—which she couldn't have known!" With a weary sigh he collapsed onto the rock he had used previously, his head bowed between his hands. "Aragorn… I don't think either of us are truly ready for this. She protested that when I was still blind to the truth, and I forced us on. Every time I did, I ended up hurting her."

"So you decided to stop?" Estel's voice was filled with shock and disbelief. I could—and did—sympathize.

"I didn't trust her, Aragorn. Why? I trusted Tyran with…" He trailed off for a long moment, then shook his head. "No. I didn't. My life, sure—that's easy. Our past. But my heart? The thought of trusting someone else with it terrifies me, even though I love her."

Estel sighed and found a rock to rest on. "As the Prince, you have grown used to your title creating a necessary barrier between you and the rest of the world, your father excluded. If you didn't shield your heart, it would likely have been broken, time and again…" He frowned and shifted uncomfortably. After another sigh, he shook his head. "My faith in you is restored by this confession, but you have failed to factor one thing into your decision."

"What would that be?" Legolas sighed wearily.

"You may have trouble trusting her that far… But she has trusted you. You have her heart, even if she fights with you. She fights for you to give her something worth that which she has placed in your care… and hasn't yet gotten it."

Legolas lifted his head, the Leaf I had known there for a brief moment, before he faded. "You make it sound so easy, but it's not." With a sigh he got up and walked off.

When he was out of sight, Estel stretched himself leisurely, easing onto his feet. "Going to stay in that tree all day?"

Had I actually been in a tree, I would have fallen out at his calm question. "How—" I spluttered.

He smiled grimly and offered me a hand up. "You started to get up, to comfort him. I know he didn't notice."

"No," I agreed. Even if he had decided to speak with me… He would not have chosen to do so in such a manner.