A/N: This chapter was inspired by the song Freedom by Kygo and Zak Abel and the scene in Immortality when Grissom tells LH that Sara helped him with his crossword puzzles. Big thank you to everyone who has been reviewing and following this story! Shoutout to my gals windbound and Zygon24 :). I hope you enjoy it!
I was relaxing on the couch with the latest Sunday New York Times crossword in my lap. I eagerly snatched the Sunday paper when it arrived and began my weekly ritual. Sara was sitting opposite me on the couch, her feet in my lap as she read the latest forensic journal to arrive in the mail. I noticed Sara would look up every once and awhile, craning her neck to see my progress. I had to bite my lip to keep from smiling knowing what was soon to come. When I was nearly halfway through Sara rose.
"I'm going to make some tea. You want a cup?" she asked innocently. And so the game began.
"No thank you," I replied as I returned my attention back to the puzzle. A minute later I felt Sara's long fingers begin to massage my shoulders and her breath in my ear as she leaned over to look at my progress. This had become somewhat of a weekly ritual. I'd start the Sunday crossword and when I was about halfway through Sara would make the excuse she was rising to make tea. Then she'd come and massage my shoulders and if I questioned her she would say I looked like I needed it. Afterall it had been a tough week (but then when was it not?). Of course I always played along knowing Sara was interested in the puzzles as much as I was.
"Did you need something dear," I would ask, desperately trying to keep the amusement out of my voice.
"You just looked like you could use a massage. Especially after the week we had," she would reply.
I'd relax into her magic touch slowly lowering my pen giving Sara the perfect opportunity to move in and commandeer the crossword puzzle.
"Did you need help?" She'd ask as she'd come around and sit next to me. I'd open my arms letting her lean against my chest as she'd start rattling off answers to the unsolved questions.
This week was no exception.
"38 Down is an alkene," I raised an eyebrow, truly mesmerized by the amount of knowledge she possessed.
"Did I mention I actually loved organic chemistry," she said with a smile.
I leaned in and kissed her cheek as I handed her the pen.
"I don't want to take your puzzle," she answered. But then that's what she said every week and every week I'd tell her it was fine and I could use the help.
The truth was I really didn't need the help. I'd eventually finish on my own but with Sara I relished the help. With Sara I could be myself and she loved me all the more for it. With Sara I could be a geek, a nerd and she'd tell me she found it incredibly sexy. With Sara I finally had someone to bounce ideas off of. Someone who's intellect rivaled my own. With Sara I was free, free to just be… me
(Freedom-dom, freedom, freedom, freedom-dom
I've been looking for
Freedom-dom, freedom, freedom, freedom-dom
I've been looking for)
I was living a lie, living a lie
This is my confession
I was living a lie before we met
There were so many nights, so many nights
Full of dark temptation
There were so many nights that I regret
You give me something that I can hold on to
A little light when I'm down on my knees
I was so lost in myself when I found you
But in that moment you made me believe
You give me freedom, freedom
Freedom I've been looking for
Freedom, freedom is you
You give me freedom, freedom
Freedom I've been looking for
Freedom, freedom is you
Gil had just sat down with this week's New York Times Sunday crossword so I grabbed my latest forensic science journal and sat opposite him on the couch. This had become somewhat of a ritual for us. He'd grab the crossword and I a journal and we'd lounge on the couch and be engrossed in our respective endeavors. Of course the journal could only keep my attention for so long before I'd be drawn to the crossword puzzle.
I never wanted to look too eager so I'd glance Gil's way every now and then to gauge his progress. Once he was about halfway through I'd rise to make tea. More often than not the tea was neglected but this was always part of the plan. I'd ask in my sweetest most innocent voice if he wanted a cup and his response was nearly always the same. Well if he didn't want tea then surely he'd appreciate a massage. Afterall most days were rough at work and who wouldn't want a chance to relax after such a grueling week.
I'd silently walk behind him and gently start massaging his shoulders. He'd ask me if I needed something but of course I didn't. I was just being polite and offering him a way to unwind. He'd relax into my touch, eventually abandoning the crossword altogether. Now was my chance. Afterall one must strike while the iron's hot as they say. I'd slide back onto the couch and he'd open his arms letting me relax into his chest while I looked over the puzzle sharing answers for any unanswered questions.
After I answered 2 or 3 questions, he'd hand me the puzzle and if I protested he would simply say that he needed the help anyway. Now I know for a fact that Gilbert Grissom does not need any help with crossword puzzles. In fact I'm sure he could solve most puzzles in his sleep. What made me love him even more (hard task let me tell you) was that he knew how much I enjoyed them and he'd invite me to help even if he didn't need it.
Why would this make me love him anymore you ask? Well because it speaks about much more than his ability to share a crossword. No one I ever dated allowed me to flex my intelligence without feeling emasculated, so more often than not I just stayed quiet. Not many men appreciate a woman, especially one that can school them in complex mental math. Gil never makes me feel anything less than brilliant and that is something I will always be eternally grateful for. Before him I was always the Sara Sidle men wanted me to be. But with him… I'm just well… me.
I didn't care
I didn't care enough to stop me falling
I didn't care about myself
'Til you lifted me up
Lifted me up when I was down and out
It's the highest I have ever felt
You give me something that I can hold on to
A little light when I'm down on my knees
I was so lost in myself when I found you
But in that moment you made me believe
You give me freedom, freedom
Freedom I've been looking for
Freedom, freedom is you
You give me freedom, freedom
Freedom I've been looking for
Freedom, freedom is you