AN: I scrapped this chapter ya'll. I legit had the rough draft done, hated the pacing and then rewrote it. But here it is! I hope it is worthy and fluent.
Chapter 12
It is three days before Jesus' birth, a Thursday, and my spirit is stippled by a continuous sense of remorse. My therapy session this week was missed due to my false report of illness. The deceit stemmed from a deep regret of disobeying Diz's caution, and by instead submitting to Axel's invitation. The redhead was nourishing my habit, and his attention consoled the thirst that had me previously neglecting academics. The vice usually demanded I spend evenings at parties hunting for a sexual companion or finding pharmaceutical ways to destroy my inhibitions. However, the redhead's commitment to improving my grades and conduct through physical intimacy was already ensuring a seamless shift into more adult behavior on my behalf. All the while, my consciousness overlooked Diz's counsel that being sexually active with Axel would only lead to further anguish.
It took me a week to realize that the redhead had strangely played a game of give and take with my titles. Swapping the names, he preserved 'Rox' for sex and 'Roxy' for intimate moments. It appeared to be an emotive decision made instinctively, and the concept was surprisingly soothing. Axel spent countless hours memorizing all my weakest points to make me feel gelatinous through a confident and measured way. His focus triggered my heart to flutter and my reasoning skills to go lifeless and demented. These reactions are completely new to me and equally intriguing since no one I've previously slept with has ever caused me to feel this good. The thought, the sight, and the sound of Axel have my limbs feeling weak and my stomach eating butterflies. I can only presume it's because of his propensity for being thorough as well as seductive in a graceful effort to gratify me over and over.
Oddly enough, Axel has yet to mention God or his imminent doom in relation to our mutual hedonism. Although our bond is unclear, my thoughts were still intrigued by this facet, as the Lord has been his driving force in avoiding countless unlawful and provocative practices. In some respects, his preservation of my well-being was more vital than his daunting fealty for the Lord and his almighty gospel. And fuck, it feels empowering. So far, our agreement has posed zero complications, and while I have no objection about rejecting Diz's clinically expert assessment, a tinge of dread is tugging at my spirit. Said shame is effortlessly dismissed every day, since I am confident that ignoring Axel's cooperation will impede my progressions in life - progress that is continuously marred by my illness. Each opportunity to share these nefarious cravings while concentrating on studious activities with the redhead has already demonstrated that this line of action will undoubtedly maximize my final grades for the year.
Every time the both of us became intertwined, my struggle with life and the tension surrounding my condition subsided dramatically. My libido is moderate after spending the majority of nights cavorting with my keeper, and there is little inclination to go out partying; despite the fact that Axel was the one imbibing my alcoholic beverages to begin with. The added bonus of the current situation is that any conflicts at school have been spared as a result of Seifer's greater understanding that the two of us now embrace the same secret. Overall, visiting Diz appeared superfluous, especially given his firm view that I was undertaking a grave error. However, these interactions with Axel were much more reassuring to me, and they paled in comparison to what Diz had imagined. My basic intellect concluded that life is steadily improving. My days were spent at school collecting material for lessons and devising different methodologies with my classmates.
Meanwhile, at home, Axel and I immerse ourselves in our studies as per usual, with very seldom goofing about. After our debut coupling at the willow, the both of us usually leap to embrace each other the moment my steps cross the threshold. However, in order to boost my tutor's satisfaction with his guidance, Axel advocated that we engage more on our textbooks before exploring each other, so I agreed that intercourse was the incentive for a thorough study session. This evening, we are involved in our readings, but my mind wanders to themes other than those on the page. My imagination was involved with future possibilities; the sound of the wall clock was a faint percussion that weaved with my musings; and what were generally tormented, gloomy conceptions morphed into hopeful ambitions that were entirely realistic now that my brain's emphasis was less sidetracked.
After supper, my hands work to scrub the dirty dishes while Axel carefully rinses away the bubbles that had just charmed my skin. The cascade of spray decorates the seam of his tendons as he sweeps his arms above the sterling sink. The scene creates a buzz of heat rising in my center, the plain and ordinary imagery tightens my mouth into a rigid purse. These sleazy reflections about the calm man casually toiling away next me are worn away by the sound of the rushing faucet. The recent developments between us were an adjustment to say the least. Axel's smile, laughter, and fleeting hugs were genuine representations of him from my childhood, and it went beyond his treatment of me in the previous years. My focus is swept away from the redhead's concise efforts to shower the last remaining sudsy kitchenware, and my body breaks away from the basin to dry the saturated objects. Axel steps back, collecting a hand towel to dry his palms before scooping up a dish to assist me on my chore. To avoid being distracted by his presence, I rest against the counter and concentrate on my task. The cloth mindlessly dries the item in my grasp, my eyes peering out the bay window, the tag of my shirt irritates the back of my neck, chafing the skin. My gaze is frantically seeking something other than the dapper man opposite me, and the sight of two robins nuzzling atop the patio railing is sobering enough. While zoning out on the two little critters, an ordinarily elusive idea about next week's Christmas ball strikes my consciousness, and the sentence springs from my lips before I can control it.
"Why don't we go to the dance together?" My suggestion comes out as hasty, and only raw discipline prevents my attention from straying to the redhead to gauge his immediate reaction. I conclude with an encouraging note, "As friends, of course," my mouth forming a faint grin as my lenses track the bird's disappearance into the sky.
"If you plan to bring a friend, I believe Xion is the better choice." He confers. My thoughts couldn't argue with the claim since it was delivered with such graceful tact. He lingers on his words, the dishwasher groaning audibly, and my subconscious can almost see the grimace on his face before he begins again, "Furthermore, there is an age restriction. They'd boot me out the door."
My nose wrinkles in indignation at his brusque rebuff, and my nostrils itch as a byproduct. As it rubs away the annoying sensation, my damp wrist smells slightly like dish soap. My attention swings around the kitchenette, where leftover spices from our joint effort to fuel ourselves with brain food clutter the counter near the stove top. Above the appliance, my eyes detect that the freshly polished back splash is splattered with sauces, and my brow furrows in disdain at the waste of my time and effort. My mind begins to gallop with grand ideas for my future once more. Suddenly, Axel's own prosperous intentions spark my curiosity, and as I arrange the dishes in their respective racks, I comment, "You've always had a firm grasp on what you want for your life…"
"…Since grade school." He concurs.
"Your perseverance is like a badge of honor for you." As I confirm his allegation, my face remains scowling.
"Does that pose a problem?" Axel doesn't look at me, but one of his immaculately coiffed brows arches in a warning.
"Absolutely not. I only asked because things have gotten better for me recently, which has me seeking options for myself. Unlike you, I didn't devote any thought or research into how I plan to spend the remainder of my life. I'm drawing blanks as to where to begin before flying the roost."
"Some people find it simpler pursuing their goals than others. There's no need to be so critical towards yourself, Roxas. Take your time."
"So far, I've noticed that many of my friends motivate me. You in particular. So...what are your long-term plans?"
"Hmm..." Axel's hand methodically wraps around the bowl, curling the towel to dab and swipe at every curve of the glass as he digests my question. "I presume it's pretty typical. I already have a car, but I also want to own a home. And I'm already studying for a stable career to support my potential family."
"Family?" As my brows twitch upward, my awareness stimulated by a portion of his supposition, my legs pace the little area, sorting glass and plastic.
"Yeah, you know, kids and the like." He says, and my irises find themselves peeking in his direction. His facial expressions are content with his admission, a meager smile adorning his breath-taking features and my diaphragm instantly feels crushed by his humble countenance. Regret about missing my appointment resurfaces, but for an entirely different cause.
Heat sears down my skin, an itch clawed my brain, and my hormones surge as the need to fuck my sexual contributor grows stronger than ever. A part of me is aware that the craving is really a diversion caused by Axel's admission to need children of his own. A fantasy he will never attain if he continues to have sexual relations with men. However, the intercourse would selfishly divert the man's spotlight away from his passionate sentiments for his foreseen offspring. My advance hemmed him into the counter he was reclining on as selfish animosity catapulted through my soul. With frenzied aim, my hands capture his face and lower it to mine, enthusiastically ravishing his lips.
"Wow, what's got you so aroused, Roxas?" Axel breaks free, stretching his height and stares at me, flummoxed. He gently nudges me before cocking his head. His hand raises to jokingly tug on my ear, his eyes narrow, and a slow, coy smirk creeps on his cheeks.
"Hmm...want you." My spine extends to meet his magnitude, and my heels raise as my posture is balanced on the pads of my toes, my teeth nibbling at his lower lip. "Now," I murmur, sinking my hips listlessly towards his.
"Oh?" He sings on my lips. His grasp is instantly on my hip and lower back; their force whips us around, driving my spine into the refrigerator, and he wedges me into motionlessness as he catechizes, "How would you like me?" in a luring tone.
For nine days, Axel's tentative, guarded, and cautious approach created a tumultuous yearning within me. His smooth technique was intended to prevent hurting me, notably by his refusal to shove his whole length inside me. His sympathy was endearing at first, but after about the sixth union of our bodies, my impatience mounted, and I pathetically urged him several times to give me all of himself. He gingerly dismissed such overtures repeatedly. Personally, he has demonstrated that, with his restraint and expertise, he could still feed my craving with ease and that there was no need to delve fully into me; this much was valid. But my curiosity was festering at every fiber of my being, and my compulsion to push him was increasing steadily. "You know what I like…just pretend you are me." My purr is laced with desperation as my lenses dive into him, scanning his resolve.
"Act like a brat, you mean?" His brow furrows in enjoyment, and he smiles with a slight, close-lipped pompousness.
"Tch, insulting." I grumble, and my forehead puckers while my lips press together.
"Oh, I see. Would you rather I behave like a vulgar little hellion?" The redhead's incisors puncture my bottom lip, my features wince and immediately his tongue sweeps over the seam to alleviate the burn.
"Somewhat..." As my voice mumbles into his motions, my hesitant pronunciation dusts his tongue.
"I won't know for certain, until you enlighten me." As he primes, his thumb pries at my lips, the tip of his nail grazing my bottom teeth and his pelvis rubs teasingly into mine, causing me to release a shaky exhale. "Make use of your words, Rox."
My mouth is still parted; I am panting a timbre-warble, and Axel's tongue protrudes from his mouth and slinks into mine sans our lips meeting. The wet muscle brushes up against my own, featherily skimming along the webbing beneath my tongue. The straining appendage coils around my flaccid tongue, and he flicks at the smooth palate atop the damp cavern. As he maps the crowns of each tooth, my eyelids quiver and his lips finally contact mine. My tongue inches out hesitantly to emulate his movements, which he seals with his mouth. His clever suction pulls it into his own casm, before he bites into the tip of my tongue. My airways constrict and my vertebrae shudder as a result of the sudden pain, and my hands reach around to hold onto his broad shoulder blades. The man's sharp teeth release me, and my head tilts back, allowing us to savor each other's intense taste equitably.
His scent is always enticing; the pheromones of his triggered hormones light up the connection, and it is something I will never get tired of. My hips swing into his impatiently, and my rigid cock is now impelled to relieve its tension with some impact. He fully accepts my objectives, grinding his own stiff length into me. Our kiss develops tenaciously, as does his clutch on my thigh; I lift my leg and loop it around him as we rut into each other frantically. Our chests collide, and our nether regions move uncomfortably along the constraints of our garments in search of alleviation. He sneaks one leg out from under my open limbs, elevating me slightly while bracing my ass with his knee. My head falls back upon the stainless steel behind me, my lungs sought airflow, and my hair meshes in Axel's other palm. He looks down at me as we insatiably hump onto one another. Aside from our stifled breathing, I can hear a flitter of noise to my right as my peripheral vision latches on motion. Our bodies are not slowing down, and the hefty movements are knocking photographs, Christmas cards, and magnets from the appliance behind us to the floor. My heart's kindling was activated, and my hand was lured to his biceps. My limbs guide him away and immediately swap our positions, the fridge rattling as it teeters side to side from my brute strength. Returning to my tiptoes, my lips pursue him once again before overflowing with beseeching desires.
"It aches...I need you." My fingers merrily strum along his height, and the minor bounce back and forth on my heels reflects my restlessness. My hand scales below our connecting bodies and kneads my keeper's visible hard on. "Fuck me fast-rough-hard." I say gasping, and my hips jerk against his sculpted thigh.
"Nhn…you sly devil." He hisses, his brows knitting together as he grins and shakes his head. He leans closer, and the redhead's palms drive me back, and my heels make a sudden impact with the flooring to balance my posture. Axel paws for the hem of his baseball tee, tugging it above his head and disheveling his tresses as he drops the sage and black article aside. He closes on me with deliberate, calculated steps as he leers at me from his lofty height, and my feet propel me backwards into the island. This interaction quickly made me view the redhead as a beast on the prowl, stalking me -the small morsel- into a den. My tailbone contacts glossy hard stone as the man saunters over to me, his hands traveling over his waist to rip at his leather belt and copper button. My throat is parched from the strip tease, and my cock is straining against my own attire. "Hmm, always begging for something quick…such an impatient little thing."
"Hah..." My thoughts are wrestling for words, but my throat is paralyzed, rendering me voiceless. When the redhead observes my cowering presence, he does not wait for me to respond before snatching my shirt from my body and exposing my bare skin to the humid room.
"If you want me to be rough with you…" He begins, his baritone is enunciated with an intoxicating octave. While he smirks at me, his head lolls back and his canine's glimmer. And as he looks down upon me, his emerald orbs have a sinister sheen to them. Still straining to speak, my throat spasms with an audible gulp. Axel's scrutiny ravages my sleek figure, and as if all the oxygen in the air has been ripped out of the area, my lungs heave for a single sip of it. "…ask me politely." He proposes, his lids heavy with intent.
"Please..." My mouth wobbles and my fists on the counter behind me tremor as they try to regain control before submitting to his orders, "Don't be gentle."
"Good boy." He praises me and clutches my shoulder and torso, spinning me until my weight is bent over the icy granite. He tears my pants and underwear down to my ankles, then glues the textiles stern to the ground using one of his feet, binding my legs. My senses pick up on bawdy sounds coming from behind me, and my vision creeps over my shoulder. Axel's mouth is leeching on his fingers, moistening the digits with his own saliva. The feral expression on Axel's face remains, as his cheeks hollow from a significantly intense suck and withdrawal. His tongue lifts apart the crevices of his mouth, settling perfectly along his bottom lip, permitting fluid to stream over the ends of his fingers. Watching his obscene behavior causes my stomach to coil and every muscle to spasm.
"I want all of your cock this time."
"Hm, of course you do." His words are laced with a raspy purr. As the redhead skirts one of his palms along my spine, my back contracts from the feather light touch. Just when my mind is under the impression that he plans on taking things slow again, his caress reaches my ass and he roughly grips at one round globe, prying the flesh away from its twin, and my pink asshole flinches against the tepid air. His lean figure closes in and his sultry voice whispers into the shell of my ear, "However, be patient. I need to stretch your tiny hole."
With so much promise tied to his declaration, my sitter forces two of his slick fingers past my tight entrance. He hastily withdraws the digits and then dips the intruders back into my twisting inner muscles. His arm jackhammers away, and my pulsating channel feels the severe stretch as his lengthy appendages split themselves after only a few more insertions. My head is tingling, and my limbs are becoming numb as a result of the impactful scissoring motions.
"Hngnn…oh fuck." My voice is feeble with instantaneous ecstasy, and my head swivels to the side to take in even more of my illustrious partner's touch. He puts an end to his fingers' infatuation with peeling me apart from the inside and resumes invading my core. His purpose is evident, as his fingertips target a specific point. My entire body trembles as the torture on the internal mound leads my spine to fold and my voice to moan in ravenous delight.
"Mmm, you like that?" His eyes are ablaze, and he licks across his teeth wickedly. My skull bobs, nodding to encourage him to continue brutally violating me. As he pulses his wrist into my stunned ass, his pale muscles bulge and ripple. His enormous palm encases my neck from the front as he murmurs into the crest of my neck in a steamy guttural burr, "You're taking it so beautifully."
Without notice, Axel adds a third finger to the indecent operation and proceeds to shape my inner workings in preparation for his amazing girth. His fingers worship my neck, tempting me for an asphyxiation kink my brain had forgotten it had contained. As his deviations viciously punish my molten tunnels, his soothing pets on my Adam's apple mingle with the fierce nips interspersing the helix of my ear. Although my pelvis usually gyrates to mirror every plunge, all motions are fruitless this time around with each steep descent, especially when it is accompanied by a vigorous stroke on my bulb of nerves.
"Aghn…so good! It feels - ahh!" I whimper, and Axel's mild caress on my throat is juxtaposed with his activities below.
"Does my little act please you, Rox?" Before his teeth sink into the muscle of my trapezium, his tongue traces from over base of my neck.
"Uh-huh…yea…oh yesss, it p-pleases me, Axel."
"Hahh…naughty, Rox" He chuckles, his breath scorching the clammy path of flesh he had been accosting. He plugs my hole abruptly with a fourth finger, wedging into me slowly, and my soul roars with thunder. My vocal cords rupture with cacophonous bellows, my shape flails erratically and my limbs lose their equilibrium. Axel's handle on my neck constricts marginally to stabilize my unsteady, feeble stance. His grasp cocks my chin upwards, craning my neck, and my vision catches on his smug expression. "Mmm, such a dirty boy...so greedy, swallowing all of my fingers," he buzzes, sneering.
As my orbs slip back into their sockets, my tongue slackens against my leaking mouth, and my balls tighten, abruptly spurting come onto the stone counter. "Fu-hahh"
"I could come simply from watching you get off." The redhead coos, a cocky smile dangles on the corner of his lips. When my pliant figure is rotated over and hoisted onto the counter, limp after such intense foreplay, my words are in the process of deciding whether to express praise or despair. As Axel stands between my extended legs, my toes curling over the edge of the bar, my spill on the tile is tacky along my tailbone. My arms anchor me from behind, and their ability wanes immediately when his palm unexpectedly traverses my tainted and softened dick. His thumb rubs along the tip, and the sharp electric sensation sends me hurtling backwards.
Such a pleasant surprise…but…
"N-no, Axel! I just came…you can't-" The redhead's playful meanderings break up my escalating howls. This devious vermillion haired imp has his own cock, so he should be aware that manhandling the column of flesh after orgasm is both painful and tantalizing. My pleas are acknowledged; he lifts his hand and instead plays with the lewd substance blossoming his fingers. I am completely mesmerized by the spectacle. His green lenses are coveted with thirst as he chews his inner lip and taps at the viscous liquid. My lashes flutter, and sans any control, I snivel at the bawdy toying and Axels' gaze pivots to mine. His forearm tendons contract as one hand moves to my calf and the other drops underneath. His head rolls back slowly, and his passionate sigh is directed towards the ceiling as he plummets his lubricated fingers into my anus once more. My inner tissues have become slicker from my own spend combining with his saliva. My sensibilities intensify, and my hairs bristle with alertness. Meanwhile, the four interlopers fanned out in pairs, aiming to cleave my plush walls with more vigor and contemplation. "Oh fuuuck…hgnh"
The man blinks owlishly while regulating himself with protracted and arduous breaths before arrogantly beaming at me and winking. My perverse warden's fingers curved over the edges of my soaked lining when he retracted his slippery digits, plucking at my ravaged band of rosy muscle. My attention is hooked towards his methodical progressions as he extracts his lengthy appendages, my ass latching on the receding intruders, and my twitching ring instantaneously leaks a combination of dirty substances, Axel sweeping at the chaotic mess with his hand. The taller man whips his cock from out of his waistband and circles his saturated palm around the protruding organ. He lazily rubs the nectar around his massive erection while stroking himself. His sight was attracted to my limber shape, traveling over every ridge and mark on my physique. His cheeks dimple with a crooked grin and he pushes his pelvis into his fist; the sight wakes my own dick from its tranquil repose. His free hand catches my thigh as he nestles in closer. My lashes flutter as my sight falls to each of our abdomens. His cock is precisely aligned with my anxious and exploited hole. With another gravelly moan from the handsome man, his hip bones buck forward, as his fist breaks from its base, instantly piercing through my awaiting orifice. My vision tracks his motion as the sense of vacancy fades and is supplanted in immersion of sheer completeness.
The redhead does not offer me much time to acclimate, his shape rocking into me vigorously and senselessly. His cock is plunging deep, but not wholly into my silken sheath. His ruts were still shallow, but urgent nonetheless, and his balls whir into the crease of my parted buttocks. As my figure crumbles into the harsh oscillations, my strength completely loses its control. Axel folds his arm behind me, his hand firmly at the arch of my skull, his other palm squeezing my calf to support me. His actions are tenacious as he hammers his commitment to fulfill his promise into my very core. My gooey center is stretching to engulf his astounding package, and my fingers are clenching snugly beside me into a ball.
"So…rough, A-axel." I whine, my sight snagging on the portion of the redhead's length that is not submerged inside me, while my thoughts marinate on his reluctance to give me all of him. It is remarkable to me that the redhead can still be uncompromisingly harsh in his approach without the extra filler, yet my desire for more persists. "I w-want…all of it. You said that…y-you would. Please, Axel. Give it to-"
"Is this much not enough for you?" He flirtatiously quirks his brow, his teeth beaming, as he peers at me with fascination. His thrusts have ceased, and my whines have become obscene with pleading due to the lack of stimulation. "Hmn, since you begged me so sweetly." Axel licks his lips, his tongue pausing at the border as his canines penetrate them and his jaw draws to the left. His face was suffused with a look of sheer exhilaration and intent. His cock impales itself excitedly into my anticipating, wet walls, his waistline square with my ass.
"Hgn…so full." My eyes widen, watching as his total length drags out of me. My leaking ring endorses his enflamed cock. "So painful…but...ahn…feels good." Axel strokes his cock as his field of vision is fixated on my defiled entrance. My own focus wanders to reflect his, and my cheeks warm as I discover what has his interest. My hole is fitted properly to his shape now that his dick is no longer sullying the slippery canals. My opening dilated for his perusal. As I gulp down the drool tickling my uvula, my lashes flare and my throat closes tight with humiliation. His hand progressively creeps towards my pliable entrance, his forefinger twirls over the inside of my wet rim, and my heart twists. He toys with the exposed area of my core immorally and tauntingly, and my voice sobs out in ignominy. "The fuck?! Don't-"
He straightens himself, his pupils' contract, and he gleams with devilry, the contact deceptive, before rubbing his palm over his chin and jaw, an exhilarated grin plastered along his features. His amused purr disrupts my call for dignity, something I never expected to do, "Aww, your gaping, Rox." As he peers on my stretched, lurid hole, his demeanor is cunning and malevolent. The head of his cock swirling around the mouth of my arousal. The lines in his forehead pull, and he tosses his vivid tresses over his shoulder, overconfident as he continues his attempt to humiliate me, "Am I really that big, hmm?"
My thoughts wander to the whereabouts of the gentle and compassionate Axel. My head is intrigued with the idea that this type of uncontrolled beast has been buried deep within the man all along. And it speculated that Namine had also been subjected to this form of gratifying torture from him. The notion made me queasy, and it had me pledge to myself never to compel him to commit such alluring deeds again. My intelligence, on the other hand, advised me that my requests for this sort of conduct from Axel were exactly what I had been pining for. Regardless of my embarrassment, his new vicious disposition has me feeling both invigorated and apprehensive that the man may have a mental condition of his own. The symptoms of the redhead are analogous to those of an individual with multiple personalities. My thoughts untangle themselves as Axel dips inwards, his silhouette looming over my profile as his lips establish contact with my neck and his sharp teeth pierce the surface vigorously. His jaw is clinched, his teeth tugging on my skin as he enthusiastically plows his lengthy and wide cock into me.
"You fall…hahh, head over heels…for this…ngnn, sleazy routine, huh?" He says this while peeking intently into my gaze from below, his tongue wriggling against the wounds he has inflicted. His hips continue to pummel into me, his heat sinking into my center. "Mmm, is this…how you like me…Rox?"
"Ahhn…I don't kn-" Unbeknownst to me, my lips can taste my own tears as they stream down my cheeks into the seams of my mouth.
"'Cause I'll do it…" His utterance is one of unadulterated satisfaction. His spine is arched, his fair skin is a powdery pink, and his lips emit rapid, raspy breaths. His lids are weighed down, with dark lashes fanning over his lecherous stare, and threads of red hair vapor down his robust shoulders and sternum. Sweat percolates down his sharp nose, and his cheeks are scarlet from his excessively violent efforts. Evening beams sweep over the indentations of every bone and beating muscle in his anatomy as his posture steers, and my pupils imbibe in the picture of him ruthlessly embedding himself in me. "...just for you, though," he moans sharply over my face before adding. The confession astounds me, and my envy for Namine evaporates. Axel's cock is careening against my clamorous walls, sending a pulse of fire throughout.
"Oh - God!" My face cannot disguise its disbelief; my eyes are wide, and my mouth is slack as my insides become slathered in a torrent of warmth that fills me just as effectively as his cock. My senses are jarred by the abrupt understanding that Axel has spilled himself inside me.
"Mmm…hah…is that tasty, Rox?" He chuckles warmly, his tongue ghosting along his lips. My clinging silk is vibrating in tune with his dick, and my lascivious entrance is squeezing him even more. His emerald gems are immediately hidden below clinched lids, and he grinds his teeth as his hips move wildly. "Ngn…you are sucking me dry."
Axel's unforeseen completion within me did not muddle his meddling, much to my delight. Although not entirely erect, his cock was still engorged enough to resume piercing into me. His cadence was similarly frenetic, and he was busy etching my flesh with his teeth, tongue, and gravelly moans. All to restore his lower half's vitality.
"You're still so…hard - aghn!" I mewled, awed by his capacity to recover with the haste of an animal. His length breaches my tight asshole till it digs into the lowest recesses, painstakingly hugging along my cluster of euphoric nerves. His attention was devastating and ambitious, never-ending, as he made it a point to focus solely on me. "Fuck. Fuck. Fuck - Oh God dam-"
On every retraction, his cock thoroughly removes itself, leaving my exploited hole bare and vulnerable, and my senses center on the modest patter of something wet hitting the tile floor. My spine arcs so that my eyes can accompany Axel's consuming gaze to the puffed and reddened ring spilling along the counter. The redhead does not have to pry at my entrance anymore; his cock slips within easily as he drills his hips into my ass.
"Ngnn, that's it…such a hungry little hole…" His posture is erect, his shoulders back as he cocks his head, while his hips rolled and undulated. My screams are muted out by the shameless noises of sweaty flesh adhering to one another, and his belt clanking along the cabinets. As he snarls, "…drooling all over my dick," his voice is creamy and rich, like a sumptuous chocolate you purchase by the bite.
"You're…acting…so dirty!" My teeth grip my lips, dampening their quivering.
"Hah, don't be coy." His hand returns to my collar as he drops his face to groans into my jaw. "You love it; your eyes tell me so." My lashes cast down, and my orbs lower to engage with his ravenous glare. "Mmm, so does here," Axel whispers, removing his hand from my neck and diving to massage my neglected cock.
With zero delicacy, he promptly curls his palm around the root of my cock, stimulating the golden hairs surrounding it, and he drags his fist along my stiff shaft in perfect synchrony with each surge of his hips. His rough and rhythmic thrusts have yet to falter, his endurance is unrelenting, and my head is swinging side to side, my toes contracting, and my muscles melting like butter. His strokes along my pulsing rod were precise and smooth. His cock fucks into my rippling core, while his palm runs up to my peak, clamping the crown. His pressure on my cock eases as he neatly tracks his grip back to my base while withdrawing out of my gripping inner walls. My mind is broken; I can't speak nor bother thinking. I was not expecting this man to feel compelled to touch me in such a masculine context. The very prospect of it drives me insane. My lids are pinching shut, and my esophagus is convulsing, gagging on substantial quantities of spit, my mouth unable to articulate, only emitting incoherent phrases and moans.
"Cat have your tongue?" He purrs proudly, teasing my cock's hole with his thumb and trailing it to the vein beneath its tip. "Or has my dick silenced you?"
"P-please…I can't…handle -Ahh- a-anymore…"
"Mmm…take a look, Rox…ngnn…it's your favorite part." My petitions are being ignored once more. And, perplexed, my eyes meet his. His stare leads mine to our midsections. My stomach complies to the apex of Axel's dick, and the view of his cock pulling out and ramming back into me forms a protrusion along the tense linen of my stomach, mystifying my focus. His cock deliberately pinpoints the swell below my shaft; the intentional motion is in sync with his fist remaining on my dick, and both of us are convulsing. My cock, which had been weeping heavily before, spews its release with tremendous satisfaction and paints the redhead's torso. His facial expressions are thrilled, and the unexpected twitches of his body indicate that he, too, is on the verge of an ebullient release into the former mess he left. Axel's lids do not shut this time as he reaches his finish. That warmth is gushing fast into me again, and my insides shiver at the peculiar yet delicious experience.
Axel is gathering my clothing for me as my body regains its dwindling strength. As the man strides around the space, fixing the area, my thoughts are left to their own devices. It is unclear if I cultivated Axel's wicked character or whether it was always there, welling up, awaiting its turn. And now that the performance is over, I am left fascinated and curious whether I can bring out more of this quality in him. The physical contact all week had been equivalent to that at the lake. I was not exaggerating when I directed him to be rigorous, but nothing could have equipped me for the redhead's brutality. Axel had a routine of starting slowly, so to make him go berserk, I needed to entice him more. The most significant part of sex with Axel was that he would purposefully postpone things so that he could carefully cover his fullness with latex. However today, he opted not to wear one. I knew he had one because I touched it in his pocket when we were groping each other along the fridge. However, the green-eyed man, bred by the Gods, chose to release within me, a filthy act he has yet to execute. An act he would never be able to conduct with a lady because of the laws of nature. Pregnancy appears to be Axel's intention for sex. The man desired children. He just stated this. Most of all, my childhood friend has a natural attraction to women. This speculation has me feeling weighed down with confusion again.
Where does that lead me?
I am not a woman. And even if by some miracle, Axel's feelings for me grew, I would never be able to provide him with children of his own. My trail of never-ending concerns were swallowing me whole. These ideas feel pointless and stupid because from the moment my sexuality blossomed, the knowledge that I could not have children never rendered as bothersome. My consciousness couldn't fathom why this mattered so much to me now. It can only assume these concerns are present due to having sex particularly with a straight man.
"What's wrong?" Axel investigates, his apprehensive lips set in a grim line, as he notices my mood has declined considerably.
"I'm thinking-"
"Ah, Lord help us."
Brushing off his childish remark, my body lowers itself to the ground so that my feet can carry me off to my room. Whipping out my phone, my eyes seek out Hayner's icon before shooting him a text asking if he was available to talk. A mere second passes and my phone chimes with Hayner's personalized ringtone, my thumb swiftly taps accept. We don't bother with pleasantries, especially when his rushed and heavy voice is instantly asking if I am alright. Without providing a clear answer, my words are spilling forth speedily, catching my friend up on my woes. Hayner is silent aside from the short 'uh-huh's and 'yeah's. When my mouth is finished bombarding my friend with its complaints, he interjects my worries by aiding me in his opinion.
"I think Mr. Ansem has the right idea. If his future matters so much to you, then, maybe you've liked Axel more than a friend all along. And you want him to be romantically attracted to you, not just sexually."
"I've never allowed myself to think of things like love or romance. People just want to fuck me, and if they wanted more…I wouldn't even know how to spot it. No one has ever wanted more from me."
"I disagree." There is a long pause, the slight static of the receiver tickles my ear drums before they note a heavy sigh, "Have you considered that you're the one who has never wanted more? Roxas, I am telling you this because I have had my time to sit with my feelings. But…I love you. I never once used you for sex, because I liked being with you. But you never gave me the time of day to treat you romantically. So, I never bothered to confess these feelings to you."
My mouth is agape, flopping around like a fish as I zone out onto the rectangular carvings along my bedroom door. This news is alarming. And never has a statement of mine rang so true than that of which I am not capable of processing someone's feelings for me. It is painfully accurate now that my brain is stacking all the memories spent with Hayner. My earlier assumptions of being unable to assess when someone is in love hit the mark. Because in this moment, my ex-lover professed his unrequited love for me so smoothly, like it was some simple matter. As though the number of years he has adored me made any shame or shyness melt away. Through every text or phone call, my intellect had not the slightest clue.
How can I trust my own feelings if I can't even notice anyone else's?
My willpower commits to ensuring that discussions with Diz are more transparent because skipping sessions will very well be my downfall. There is a dull chatter in my bones from the need to speak to a paid professional as soon as possible. After an awkward silence, Hayner suggests he hang up and continue his homework, his voice assuring me that there was no need for me to dwell on his words. His sentiments were far too late, as my brain had already begun spiraling again just as things were looking up for me.
My steps wander to the shelves that circumnavigated the nook next to my closet. In pursuit of a certain shoe box, my hands scoot away irrelevant toys, photographs, and junk. My focus is pulled to the black cardboard, which is topped with a single white star. As I raise the lid to peek at the keepsakes, my knees curl into a peaceable seated position. The odor is stuffy and gritty, yet the sun catching on the young faces has my senses keyed in on the years I've spent with as kids in the summer. My digits shuffle among cinema tickets, arm bands, and plastic army troops, until they pick up the jumbled stack of images. I comb through each one, arranging the parchment into a uniform line. There are photographs of Hayner, Axel, and me racing through sprinklers and parks, jumping rope, and playing soccer. Some were photographed in our Sunday nicest, while others were taken at holiday celebrations. I'm still grinning at the shots of us dressed up for Halloween. My vision is drawn to the small child with fiery red hair and a big, crooked grin in each snapshot. My stomach flips, and my heart rate climbs once again. The strange sensations leave a tart taste on my tongue and a dreadful aching in my chest. My mind is again panicked by the tumult of such sentiments. My hands suddenly return the mementos to the carton before flinging the box hurriedly back onto the closest tier.
Another Tuesday was spent crossing items off my to-do list. One: concentrate on schoolwork. Two: ignore Seifer's incessant badgering for sex. Three: have fun with Sora and his friends. Four: wrap up the afternoon in a crowded office. The remainder of the day was then mine to savor. My intention was to spend the evening with my caretaker exchanging saliva and other dubious bodily fluids. My encounter with Diz this evening, on the contrary, soon frittered away that particular comfort.
The dusty blonde oscillated in his chair as he asked about my holiday weekend. Although there were more pressing matters to discuss with Diz, the happiness brought on by the memories Axel and I shared this past Saturday had the details of the time flowing out of my mouth instead. Diz opened his ears as my words fired off information. My parents had joined me for the Christmas weekend, and oddly enough, the redhead encouraged me to spend one night out with him.
My tutor convinced my parents to allow me to go to a light's festival in the nearby park, in honor of His grace. Both of us ate plenty of deep-fried foods and filled our phone galleries with a mix of photos. Some shots of both of us were magazine worthy, whereas the remaining goofy. The pictures of us were paired with landscape views of all the dazzling winter sights. We basked in the chill, staring into the frozen lake below a stone bridge, the lights skittered across the ice that bled around every groove. Riku, Sora and Kairi bumped into the both of us, and eventually our little group traipsed around the park, visiting stall after stall. Axel and I played carnival games, the activity became a competition between us that left the entire group erupting in laughter. The silver-haired boy had little to say the entire night and instead absorbed my interactions with my handsome keeper. The redhead was not oblivious to Riku's spared glimpses and interrupted our shared eye contact constantly. Sora and the gang left shortly after, Riku trailed softly behind the other two. An unfamiliar warm feeling cocooned my heart once we were left alone. The both of us concluded the evening standing below twinkling trees, the gangly limbs dusted in powdery snow as we sipped hot chocolate.
Diz, like the professional he was, could see the pain below my cheerful remanence and quickly pestered me about my underlying issue. To which my mental dam cracked and everything between Axel and I flooded the conversation. Though my gut churned with guilt, the scruffy blonde was neither mad nor disappointed in the fact that for two weeks my babysitter had been my devoted sex partner.
He simply said: "You are an addict, and for you to be presented with your addiction and not give in to it would have taken years' worth of honed strength."
His reasoning was like a healing sonnet to my soul. It was as though Diz had given me free rein to continue being reamed by the stunning redhead, and that this was natural and nothing to be concerned about. Those carefree thoughts were quickly brushed aside when he gifted me with another warning before my departure: "You should quit indulging yourself in this attraction before you get too far ahead, Roxas."
His observations accompanied me on my brisk walk from the community center to my house, as they regularly did. My recollections, like a zombie, dredged up every word Diz spoke about the redhead. To be honest, I wasn't stunned when Diz recommended me not to maintain my present connection with my tutor. Diz repeatedly informed me that Axel was heterosexual. The redhead even recently admitted to daydreaming about having a family. My keeper also assured me that having sex with me was merely to keep the devil from sinking into my soul. All my behaviors are puppeteered by said dementor and its own evil motives. And I swallowed back all of my incredulity, my innards knotted, my hands fisted. Diz was right. Things with Axel had only barely begun, and I was already slipping into a black abyss teeming with doubts.
Axel and I decided to bathe beneath the afternoon sun in an abandoned wheat field. The both of us lounged across a thick comforter atop a towering stack of hay. Our blood worked overtime to heat our bodies in the chill, both of our cheeks-tinged pink. Axel's olive bomber jacket hid his angular bone structure as he sprawled along the surface beside me. The man was cloud gazing when I worked up the courage to voice my new intentions: "This deal we made…we need to break it off. Personally, I could find anyone to fill the role. So, there is no need for us to continue with this, Axel."
He responded eagerly: "Is there any room for me to refuse?"
The man didn't give me an opportunity to retort; his shape settled perfectly over my petite frame and warmed my limbs. The bundle of twine encased my figure as he enthralled my senses with his touch and kisses. His concise methods patched my splintered thoughts and churning emotions. He repeatedly poured hollow promises into my flesh, ears, and eager lips.
"This feels good right?"
"I'll help you."
"You're perfect, Rox."
My emotions were driven insane by his touch and their intimate suggestions. With each echoing hum of his voice, my body and soul ached. As he delved into my quaking muscles with urgent, seductive motions, his technique was tuned to its routine tempo. He had hesitated to give in to my cries for him to push himself completely into my wanton depths since the kitchen, but his intent to devote his pleasure onto my body was always evident.
"Only for you, Rox."
"I'll make you come…as much as you need."
"I'll be the one to unravel you."
The exquisite caress of his fingertips pricked my flesh, and the big muscle that surged inside made my brain collapse and my shape shudder. When his cock probed for all my erogenous points, his kisses were feverish and messy. His muscles flexed, and my sight was enamored by each twitch as he rocked his hips with devotion and agility. His motions engraved his need into my core and, as a result, my very life. The mutual pleasure we felt in the intermittent heat of the moment had both of us envisioning supernovas.
The satisfaction from such gratifying deeds streams through my limbs and all the way to the roots of my heart, as it often does. My chest fights to suppress its nattering. As I recline with Axel curling into my side, my insides feel like gelatin, and my ass leaks onto the material adhering to my inner thigh. The aroma of the redhead's piney shampoo is mingling with the odor of dusty dirt riding the air. The wind is rippling gently through the high stems of the bare trees that flank the field.
My vision is fixed on the rivers of jet exhaust swathing the dim crescent moon, a stalk of hay prods at my scalp from between the blankets, and my thumbs twiddle with a loose thread stroking my wrist. My sentiments exemplify Diz's allegation and Axel's blatant rejection of the concept. He is resting alongside me while my thoughts become congested by the events of today and the weeks that have passed. The sound of Axel's phone unexpectedly whistles across the area, and my eyes dart in its direction. He twists beside me, and one long arm sweeps behind him, yanking the gadget from the hill it was situated on. He tilts his head to the side and wrenches his neck to study the screen opposite him. My own neck cranes to steal a glimpse of the display as said sinew of muscle limns in the late purpling of the sky. Before my focus can latch on the screen, Axel has it positioned to one of his sculpted cheekbones.
"Hello…" He answers softly, his hand covering his face, and all I can discern is a tight-lipped smile. And the uncanny atmosphere of seclusion compels my lids to drop to specs as I inspect his prissy tone. My ears detect the singsong tinkling of a female voice in the stillness of the field. It's a youthful sound, unmistakably not borne by his mother. As Axel sits up to continue his discourse, the bowl formed by our intertwined forms bends and scuttles. His timbre is suave and mellow, and his accent whets my fascination. "…That's reassuring. I was feeling uneasy."
"Who is it?" I investigate, raising my position to get closer to the man and his personal interaction. In a frenzied attempt to get his awareness, my palms playfully round his shoulders from behind, grabbing his hand that is clutching the phone to his ear. But he swats me away, causing me to grimace as my body slumps back into the bed we've fashioned.
"Of course. I realize how important these matters are to you, but alas, as I have told you previously, I am too old." He chuckles into the microphone, not the laugh he shares when we are alone, but one so equivalent that I experience a wallop to the stomach. Through the receiver, there is a perky giggle, and my head and mouth are unthinkingly imitating the response. His other arm crosses over his folded elbow, "They wouldn't let me through the doors. In any case, we can catch up afterwards…I'm with a friend right now."
His manner morphed to that of a giddy schoolgirl, and my face twisted into a scowl. It was a poignant and repulsive moment, and my brain quickly reminded me that it was not my business to care. But, for some inexplicable reason, my heart hammers in my chest. His mood is energetic while he attempts to end the call, however the female prattles on.
"Ohh…" My gaze is filled with dismay as Axel hunches forward, plucking at strands of hay.
"…Clearly…" Axel chuckles and tosses his head in the air, and my eyes widen at the sight.
"…I suppose…" Axel's body lurches forward, and he laughs intriguingly. My head cocks to the right, a sneer on my face.
"…I meant it…" Smarmily, my lenses emblazon a circle behind my lids while Axel beams confidently.
"…Mhm, bye then…" Axel purrs and bites his bottom lip, the small gesture cleaves the short rope that holds my patience together. My body springs forward, and my arm shoots through the air, aiming for his cellphone. He snatches my wrist and cuts the call before I can.
"What was that about?" My speech is gruff, and my lips are scrunched in derision. My eyes shrivel into daggers, and my hands fidget anxiously with the tattered linen of my jeans.
"Um, nothing significant." He sinks into the mass beside me, his lashes drooping lazily. As he scratches the exposed flesh on his side, a weak smile nudges at the borders of his lips. "I'm tired, Roxy."
"Then take a fucking nap." As my figure flops onto its side, Axel's spine lines my back, and my ears pick up on the faint breaths departing his lips. As my sight rests on the silhouette of a doe in the woods across the horizon, a sheep dog barks ceaselessly in the distance. My attention follows the line of lumber to a steel silo in the distance, and a faint crunching sounds below us. On the tense stillness of my frustration, a rabbit nibbles atop the soil at the stack of hay, ignorant of our presence above.
"Are you alright?" His velvety tone drifts through the space, and the animal's ears radar in our direction before the fuzzy creature flops away in search of refuge.
"We should stop having sex." Reiterating my earlier decision, these unfamiliar feelings scratch at the back of my mind like a plague and my objective was to inoculate them in the only way I know how. "It won't be good for you in the long run."
"Why do you say that? I don't mind what we are doing, Roxas. Besides, I thought you trusted me." His voice is trepid.
"I'm cold." I whine, attempting to end the conversation. Instantly, his simmering heat against my vertebrae disappears and then quickly returns to scorch my curled limbs. His long arm wrapped around my torso, and luckily, he cannot see my disgruntled pout from our position.
"I feel responsible for you. And more than that, I care about you. Always have. So let me continue to help you. You said so yourself…that you are doing better, and I am inspiring to you. So, don't give up just yet." He coddles me as my brain fights for ways to argue with his resolve. In the prolonged silence and combined warmth Axel is on the brink of sleep when he daintily brushes his lips along the nape of my neck, suggesting, "Be upfront with Xion and take her to the dance. She will appreciate it. And I think, deep down, you will too…"
Why is this man so obsessed with the stupid-fucking dance?
"…After that let's both go to the Winter Carnival together. I had a lot of fun last weekend, Roxy." Before being swept away into a light slumber, he mumbles into the sticky flesh of my neck. My eyelashes quickly close, and my mouth pulls into a tiny grin from his admittance. My tired limbs, Axel's faint respiration, and the oppressive heat all beckon me for rest. A shrill tune infiltrates my skull as soon as it shuts itself down. Tossing my head to address the sleeping man behind me, my eyes inspect his still form. His intake remains slow, with soft pulls and exhales, and my gaze is drawn to the gleaming light escaping his coat pocket. The neon white lettering blazed vividly in the darkness. My skin stung as my cognition processed the name.
Namine.
AN: Writing full drawn out sauce -from foreplay to finish- is exhausting. Sometimes I just dont feel jazzed up enough to write it. And then to put some plot in too? Sheesh, do I have my work cut out for me. Please give me any critic. I gotta know if this is paced well, cause I am getting tired of reading my own writing. The words are not wording. And that shit is not it.
'Til next time!
~Sticky