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Sirius Randomness
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I'm singing at the top of my lungs. The girls are laughing and
Anni's cucumbers are toppling off of her eyes. I sing even
worse, on purpose, and screech at the end of the song. I'm in this
infamous pose that all heavy metalists do, when they're on their
knees, stringing the last note with their pick.
Without a knock, Sirius walks in. "Hello girls!"
Chaos.
I forgot to mention. We're all in our bras and panties. OK, we
usually don't do this. But today, after the quiz in Potions, we
needed to.
So basically,
chaos.
Everyones screaming and running around, trying to find a place
to hide. Behind the beds, the dresser, grabbing anything in their
path to cover up their body.
Except me. I'm just stunned. I'm not even screaming, and I'm
stuck stupidly in the guitarist pose. Still in my black bra and
panties.
The girls may not like Sirius, but he is too popular of a boy to
be embarrassed in front of. And this is truly embarrassing.
"SIRIUS BLACK! GET OUT OF HERE!" I finally manage to
scream, coming to my senses. I'm half naked in front of the
hottest boy in school, stuck in this idiotic pose, and I've known
this guy since before I could ride a broom. If this gets back to
my Mum and Dad, I'm so dead.
The whole time, as the girls run around and I sit there, stuck,
Sirius stands in the doorway. His eyes are as big as cauldron
cakes, and he is completely baffled at this.
I don't think he will ever come in without knocking again.
But then again, this is Sirius we're talking about.
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(Sirius PoV)
What have I done to deserve this? OK, so I walked in on them in
their undergarments. As if I haven't seen a girl in a bra before.
The cheese is mighty uncomfortable, and it's making me hungry.
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"GO JAMES! GO JAMES! JAMES POTTER FOR
GRYFFINDOR!"
Sirius stood up and yelled again, "JAMES! JAMES! JAMES!
HE'S OUR MAN."
The two boys on either side of Sirius grabbed his arms and
yanked him back into the sitting position. James gave both of
them a look of pure gratitude.
No sooner had the sorting hat touched his head when it shouted,
"RIGHT MR. BLACK YOU CAN SHUT UP NOW AND
STOP GIVING THE ENTIRE SCHOOL A HEADACHE
BECAUSE MR. POTTER IS IN GRYFFINDOR!"
"YES!" Sirius was up again, "WELL DONE JAMES!
BRAVO!"
James ran to the Gryffindor table as fast as his legs would carry
him, wedged himself in-between Sirius and the boy next to him,
and hauled Sirius's arm making him sit down again,
"You're an idiot, Sirius."
Sirius pretended to be offended,
"What me? Do you mean to tell me that you weren't pleased to
have your own cheer leading squad? Well, I must confess I'm
hurt."
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(A/N- The italicized part is Sirius's take on writing his own fan fiction, where he, of course, is the star.)
Sirius heard a snort, which turned into a full out laughing
attack. He looked behind him to see both Remus and Arthur
trying to keep straight faces while pretending not to have been
looking at his story.
"YOU WOULDN'T BE LAUGHING IF YOU WERE THE
ONE DYING!" he yelled, loosing his temper. Now even
Dumbledore was chuckling.
Sirius and the Dark Lord stared at each other for a while. Then Voldemort extended his hand. "Well done Sirius, you have fooled the Order well and thank you for getting rid of these lower beings," Voldemort pointed to the bodies of his former followers.
Sirius giggled, as the room grew quiet.
"Sirius," Dumbledore said, as if addressing a fiver-year old, "is
there something we need to talk about?" Sirius ignored him.
Remus rolled his eyes as Arthur and the fungus shared nervous
glances.
Sirius smirked, but as you all know, Sirius is a good guy and the hero of this story. He was tricking Voldemort and suddenly he killed the evil villain with the killing curse. Sirius had now saved the wizarding world. He looked over to his godson who limped over to him. Sirius could now feel himself wasting away. He sank to the ground and died. Harry cried, but eventually got over it and had Diagon Alley renamed Sirius Alley. The End.
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Serious Advice, by Sirius Black
If my advice doesn't work for you...then you're screwed.
Q: I often dream that I'm falling into a big hole, what does this mean?
A: How am I supposed to know? What do I look like, an advice columnist or something? Go ask Professor Trelawny.
Q: How self-absorbed are you!?!
A: Very. But I prefer to call it self-love.
Q: I don't have any friends and I really want some. Could you help me?
A: Get some rocks and put smiley faces on them. I'm sure they'll be your friend. No denying that.
Q: I hear voices at night and I don't know why! They scare me! HELP ME!
A: Close the door when you're sleeping so you don't hear people talking in the common room.
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Are you ugly? I mean really, really ugly? Are you so ugly not
even your own mum can stand the sight of you?! Well, so is
Snivellus, so don't feel too bad about it.
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"Bored, bored, bored." James heard Sirius mumble from beside
him. "I am so bloody bored it's unbelievable. It should not be
physically possible to be this bored. I could not be any more
bored than I am right now. No, wait, I could. Cause I'm even
more bored right this second. I am very very very, extremely, and
unbelievably bor--"
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Then it got all quiet in the taxi cab. Hermione felt as if someone
was looking at her. She turned and looked at Sirius, who was
staring at her.
"What? Do I have something in my hair?"
All of a sudden, Sirius started to cry.
"What's the matter? It's okay."
Sirius looked at her and said, "Make the voices stop! Make them
stop!"
"What voices? What are you talking about?"
"They are telling me to burn things! I'd do what they say, but I
don't have a lighter!" He stopped abruptly.
Sirius turned and looked at Hermione. He went over to her ears
and whispered, "Do you have a lighter?"
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Sirius: Pinatas are those things that dump out candy when you
whack them, right?
Draco: Precisely!
Sirius: YAY!!! SUGAR!!! (jumps up and down with a crazed
smile)
Lupin: (glances at Sirius worryingly)
Snape: (backs away)
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Sirius: Okay! My turn!
Sirius whacked two times at the pinata, making large dents, but
then swinging the stick too far behind, and hit Snape right in the
face. WHACK!
Snape: OW!! BLACK!!! WHAT WAS THAT ABOUT?!
Sirius: What? The rules didn't say anything about that you can't
whack another person. (snickers) I was just kidding! I didn't see
you back there! Really!
Snape: Ya right...
Sirius handed the stick to Snape. Snape though, turned the other
direction from the pinata and swung at Sirius.
Sirius: AAAHHH!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING, YOU
PSYCO?!
Snape: Just getting my revenge! And like you said, the rules
didn't say anything about that you can't whack another person!
And with that, Snape chased after Sirius, swinging the stick at
him.
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Well, how is it so far? Please review and let me know if I should continue or not! Also, if you have any suggestions or know anything funny, random, and Sirius related let me know and I will think about adding them! Review and e-mail me your favorite Sirius moments and I'll put them in! Thanx a bunch!