Author's Note- Hey! I hope you're enjoying it so far! And just to remind everyone that I own very little. So here are some more priceless Sirius moments! Enjoy!
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Sirius Randomness
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The next morning Sirius awoke to the smell of bacon and the
pain of a crick in his neck.
He grumbled for a few minutes about people who don't have
spare bedrooms and rose off
the couch to find Anna smirking at him over her cup of coffee.
"You could have just slept in your dog form. I'm sure that
would've been more comfortable. I rather think I prefer you that
way. Obedient. Loyal. Silent." Sirius growled at her as she
chortled under her breath.
"Stop looking so charmingly indignant and help me cook
breakfast." "Charming, hey?" He remarked with a cheeky smile.
"You think I'm charming?" "Prat," she said, shoving a loaf of
bread into his arms. "Get toasting." He smirked at her and
whipped out his wand. Deftly slicing the bread, he set out about
toasting it with his wand.
"You gave me quite a scare this morning," she said from the
stove.
"How's that?" he asked curiously.
"I woke up in my bed and not on the couch and freaked out. I
thought I had dreamed this whole thing. Thought I was going
mad." "Sorry," he replied sheepishly. "I saw you sleeping on the
couch and felt really guilty about stealing your bed." "S'right.
Just wake me up next time." Sirius grinned. "Oh, but you did
wake up. You don't remember? Maybe you were sleep talking.
Anyway, you woke up and professed your undying love for me.
Yeah, you really did. You told me that you'd been pining for me
and that you were aching to just jump on –" Anna raised an
eyebrow sardonically and amusedly glanced over his shoulder.
"Sirius, the toast is on fire." Sirius turned to find that he had left
his wand heating up the toast, which had indeed caught on fire.
Swearing, he grabbed his wand and sent a jet of water to douse
the flames. Once the fire was extinguished he turned back to
find Anna doubled up with laughter, her eyes watering with
glee.
"Shut up," he said with a rakish grin.
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Remus rolled his eyes and stepped forward so that Petunia
Dursley could see his reflection
in the mirror.
Before she noticed, Sirius leaned over to Remus, "Aren't you
supposed to not have a
reflection?"
"That's vampires, genius."
"Oh yeah!"
They were interrupted by a sudden high pitched scream which
made Remus wonder if
Mrs. Dursley was related to a Mandrake.
"Wh-who are you?!" Petunia shrieked.
"We-" Sirius started.
"-Are now deaf." Remus finished, "Hello, Mrs. Dursley! I am
Mr. Kookoonana and this is my partner Mr. Chi-"
Sirius cleared his throat.
"What?!" Remus asked irritably, annoyed at being interrupted.
"You prat!" Sirius hissed, "I'm Mr. Kookoonana and YOU'RE
Mr. Chi!"
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Sirius grins stupidly and waves, while Snape is leaning against
the wall, asleep and snoring.
Lucius: Right, now, why aren't you in the pool with the others?
Snape: Because I hate the water?
Sirius: Because I forgot my speedo?
Lucius and Snape turn and stare at Sirius.
Lucius: You're...what?
Snape: Oh god...bad mental images! BAD!
Sirius: No! I was just kidding! I don't use a speedo! Not
anything really!
Lucius: What?! You mean-
Sirius: No, you idiot!! I swim as a dog! It's much more fun that
way! Dogs are better swimmers after all! You know I'm a
animagus!
Lucius: No dog will be swimming in my pool!
Sirius: Aw, fine.
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"Hey James, was Sirius flirting with the girls again?" Remus
asked James.
"Yeah, he was." James replied.
"He seems so desperate." Remus thought out loud. They went
on pretending Sirius wasn't there.
"Yeah, desperate to hide that he's gay." James said, and when he
saw the look on Sirius's face he started laughing hysterically.
"Enough! I'm NOT gay!" Sirius yelled.
Just then Lily Evans walked into the compartment. She looked
around, everyone was laughing except for Sirius who looked
angry and now a bit embarrassed.
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"Well, that was fun, wasn't it?" Sirius said after his third lesson
that day, covered in an odd looking green goo and looking rather
singed. The students blinked at him, and then, almost in one
motion, gathered up all their materials and left.
Sirius shrugged. "Oh well," he said to himself, and ignoring the
mess, started prodding at the contents of his potion. Classes
were done for the day, thank the Lord.
Suddenly, a loud scream came from the doorway, and Sirius
jumped, pointing his wand reflexively. When he saw who was
standing there, he wasn't sure whether to feel relieved or
frightened.
"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY CLASSROOM?" Lily
shrieked. Sirius looked back into his cauldron and prodded it's
contents a bit more, which almost looked as thought they were
beginning to move on their own.
"Created Flubber, I think," Sirius said. Lily didn't seem to
appreciate the American Muggle movie reference.
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Sirius looked dejectedly down at his pile of parchment. "I'm
trying to write a letter to
Harry, but it's not working"
"What do you mean 'it's not working"
"Well, I don't know what to say. I mean, Dumbledore's told us
that we can't say anything about the Order or Voldemort or
anything important in case it gets intercepted, but that leaves
very little that we can actually say"
"I know what you mean, Sirius," Hermione said quietly from her
seat. "Ron and I are having the same problem. Harry must be
getting so angry"
"I know! I mean, what can I write?
'Hi Harry. Look, I know that the darkest wizard of all time who is also your arch nemesis and has attempted to kill you on numerous occasions has just risen again and is probably plotting your gruesome and painful death right now, but I can't talk about that, so, how are your holidays going?'
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Sirius looks at Remus and smiles.
"Hey buddy! How ya been?" "Uh...fine..nice to see you too
Sirius." "I know I am." Remus looks at him and asks, "Am
what?" "Serious." "Ok then..." says Remus and looks out the
window.
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Lucius lay down three black shirts and colored bottles.
Snape: Sooooo...what's it for?
Sirius: Can we it it!
Snape: (slaps Sirius)
Sirius: Hey! That hurt!
Lucius: Just stop for one moment you two and listen! You get
to...decorate you own T-
shirts!
Sirius: OOOOH!! WOW! HAGHEBLIBAUSTHOUWAAAA!
Snape:...what?
Lucius: I said that you get to decorate your own T-shirts!
Snape: I heard you, I meant Sirius.
Sirius: Oh, that? That was just my spasm of excitement.
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I am adorable, aren't I? In a manly way, though, right?--Sirius
Black
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But what about the ever-impressive Sirius Black? Obviously I
won't be the gay lover of Remus Lupin, nor the butt-buddy of
James Potter, or - worst of all - Snivellus Ape's secret star-
crossed lover (Sweet Merlin, that last one's gonna give me
nightmares). I wonder if I should grow a mustache? Or perhaps
I'll just allow some stubble to appear; the ladies really dig the
rugged look.-- Sirius Black
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So how is it so far? Is everyone enjoying it? If any one has anything funny or know someone who has a funny Sirius moment they would like me to add, please mail it to me or put it in a review! Just give me the author and the story it's from.PLEASE! I would love to hear people's suggestions! And I'd be more than happy to add them! :)
