Title: Trouble in Portland

Summary: What if Ryan had a harder time dealing with the loss of the baby in episode 2.01 The Distance?

Disclaimer: I own nothing related to The O.C. No profit is taken from this story.

Chapter 8

By mid-afternoon, Ryan was back lying in bed staring at the ceiling.

He tried to watch TV, but it seemed like everything that he watched reminded him of Theresa and the baby. Every kid's show, every family show... Even when he flipped past a 24-hour cable news channel, they were doing a story on some murder, and they were showing a house similar to Theresa's mother's in Chino. A house that he would never be going back to.

Ryan tried to play video games instead but found that the noises, the constant motion of the picture, and the concentration needed just made his headache flair back up again.

At that point, he seriously considered raiding Carson's liquor cabinet, and even went so far as to go and find it. Carson actually had a lock on it. Who had a lock on their liquor cabinet? Nobody in Newport Beach or Chino, that's for sure. Not that Ryan couldn't have jimmied that flimsy lock, but he decided that alcohol wasn't the solution to his problem. It had caused him enough trouble already.

He even thought about going out, even though he was "grounded", but unless he wanted to do the same thing as yesterday and find a party to get drunk at -- which he didn't -- he had nowhere to go. The story of his life.

So now he was lying in the Wards' guest room number two, wishing that he'd never had that sandwich for lunch. He knew better than to try and eat when he was upset. Now the sandwich was making him nauseous and he was trying hard to avoid having to throw up.

Of course, the downside of lying in bed with nothing to do was that now his mind wouldn't settle down and leave everything well enough alone. He kept thinking about the life that he had planned with Theresa and their child which was now gone in a heartbeat -- or rather the lack of one.

Shortly after 5 O'clock, Ryan heard the front door slam and heard Seth's and Luke's voices. Great. They were home. Just what he needed. As predictable as ever, within minutes, there was a knock on Ryan's door. He didn't answer. He didn't want to talk to anyone. He'd already had enough of talking, and answering questions, and being lectured, for one day. And he still had that talk with Sandy ahead of him.

Maybe if he didn't respond, Seth would go away. Right. After a moment, there was another knock and this time Seth didn't wait for an answer, he just went ahead and opened the door and poked his head in.

"Ryan? You up?"

Ryan continued to stare at the ceiling. That didn't deter Seth. He came right in.

"Hey, man, good to see you back. How are you doing?"

"Great." Ryan told him, trying to make it drip with sarcasm.

"Good. Good." Seth sounded uncomfortable. Mission accomplished. "Um... Luke and I were going to fire up the grill --"

"I'm not hungry."

"Right, right, of course."

Even though Ryan couldn't really see Seth, since he was staring up at the ceiling, he could practically see him wringing his hands and shifting his weight back and forth like he did when he was unsure of what to say.

After a moment, Seth said, "OK, well, I'll just leave you to... um... whatever."

And then, mercifully, he left and shut the door behind him. Ryan turned on his side and shut his eyes. He must have dozed off without realizing it because the next thing he knew there was a knock on his door which woke him up.

"Ryan?" Carson's voice.

Ryan figured he'd better answer this time. "Yeah. Come in."

Carson opened the door and came over to the side of the bed. He held out the cordless phone. "Sandy wants to talk to you."

Ryan looked at the phone, then up at Carson, then back down at the phone again. He wasn't really up for being yelled at by Sandy right now, but then again he didn't want to get yelled at by Sandy, ever. Ryan sighed and sat up in bed, then took the phone from Carson. He waited until Carson left, then brought the phone up to his ear.

"Hey."

"Hey, kid. How are you doing?"

"Terrible."

"I can imagine. Carson told me about Theresa losing the baby and everything. I'm sorry."

"Thanks."

"But you know that getting drunk is not going to solve anything, or make you feel better. What were you thinking?"

Ryan sighed. "I don't know, Sandy, I don't know. It was stupid."

"You're darn right, it was stupid. You got picked up by the police, Ryan, the police. Do you know how bad things could have gone? If they had turned you over to Child Services, we could have lost you. And you're lucky that juvenile records aren't visible outside the state, otherwise you would have violated your probation and spent the rest of your time until you turned eighteen in juvenile detention."

Ryan didn't say anything. He knew how bad things could have gone. He couldn't justify his actions.

"Ryan? Say something."

"What do you want me to say? I'm sorry. I screwed up."

"Yeah, you screwed up. " Ryan could hear Sandy sigh. "We're gonna talk about this more when you get home, you can be sure of that. And you're grounded."

Ryan said, almost to himself, "Home."

"Yeah, home, with us. If you're not going back to Theresa's, then you're coming back to Newport. I'm going to book tickets for you and Seth on the next available flight, probably tomorrow."

"Seth? I thought you told him that he could stay here."

"I did, but he'll come home if you come home, which you are, so he is."

"Mmm." Yeah, that sounded like Seth.

"I'll call you guys later with the flight info."

"OK."

"And, Ryan?"

"Yeah?"

"It's going to be good to have you home. Seth, too."

"Thanks."

On Tuesday, Kirsten and Sandy both took the day off work to meet Seth and Ryan's plane from Portland.

Kirsten was so excited to have the boys finally come home that she was practically jumping out of her skin, pacing around just outside the security checkpoint, waiting for them to show up. Sandy grabbed her hand to stop her pacing. She looked over at him and smiled.

"They're coming home, Sandy."

Sandy smiled back and squeezed her hand.

When they finally came through, Kirsten yelped for joy and ran into Seth's arms, since he was first through the gate. She squeezed him hard, and he squeezed her right back.

"I'm so glad you're home, sweetie."

"Thanks, Mom."

Then she let Seth go and went over to Ryan. She was more gentle with him, since she knew that he was hurting. She put her arms around him carefully and was happy when he returned the gesture. She rubbed his back with her hand.

"I'm so sorry, Ryan."

"Thanks."

After a moment, she let him go and looked into his eyes. "But I'm glad you're home."

This time he smiled his thanks with a small, sad smile, then looked away. Kirsten put her arm through his and turned to look at Seth and Sandy.

"Let's get your bags and go home."

As the family of four headed off to the baggage claim, Kirsten told Seth and Ryan, "You guys have missed the first two days of school, but I called Harbor and you're registered. You just have to go to the office tomorrow morning and sign some papers."

Seth replied, "OK." And Ryan nodded.

As they walked, Kirsten and Ryan lagged behind Seth and Sandy. Seth was talking animatedly about something or another to Sandy. Kirsten could see that Ryan was maybe even more quiet and introverted than usual.

"Are you OK?"

Ryan looked at her. "Yeah. It's just..."

"What?"

Ryan glanced ahead at Sandy and Seth then back at Kirsten. "It's so weird being back with you guys. I mean, I had this whole other life, and now it's just... gone."

Kirsten put her arm around Ryan. "I know, sweetie, but things will get back to normal soon, you'll see."

The End.