Disclaimer: I own nothing except for the, um, plot. Which is like nothing. Lol.
A/N: Time for a parody! I call this story "Harry Potter and the dude in therapy." Don't expect some GREAT story, lol, it's pretty dumb. lol. It's, um, really weird. But, you have to read my other story. It's a Marauder one called "A Wrinkle in Time." Ta ta!
Harry walked lazily down the stairs into the kitchen.
"What do you want boy?" Barked his uncle Vernon.
"Same thing you want" He retorted "Something to eat"
"Don't you get smart with me"
Harry snorted "Sorry it seems I've forgotten how low you I.Q is."
Vernon blinked confusedly at him before shouting "Just---oh get out!"
Harry sat down and ignored his uncle. His aunt Petunia walked in and immediately glared at Harry, who just yawned.
"Comb your hair" She snapped
"Get that stick out of your ass" He snapped back
"You will not talk to you aunt like that!" Roared Vernon
Harry was too busy laughing to pay any attention to him.
Dudley walked in and glared at Harry "Mum, dad Harry's in my seat."
"No I'm not you filthy animal. You broke yours yesterday."
Silence.
"Here, here" Said Draco Malfoy walking in "Potter's got a back bone."
"Who the hell are you? Asked Petunia
Draco smirked "Harry Potter's secret keeper"
"Has Dumbledore lost all his marbles?" Yelled Harry
"I reckon"
Harry sighed in annoyance "So Voldy's comin' here now?"
Draco bit into an apple and nodded "Should 'ave been here by now."
"Probably got lost, damn taxi's."
Draco snorted "Got that right. Took me three hours to get here. The asshole kept goin' the wrong way."
Harry ignored him "You'd think The-dude-that-came-back-to-life-just-to- annoy-me, woulda gave up by now. But, NOOO he want's to live just to annoy me."
There was a snort from the doorway. "That's kind of redundent" Voldemort walked in "Wassup mah hommie!"
Harry got up to give him a high five "Keepin' it real. You?"
He shrugged "Same as last time. Plottin' for world domination."
"Can someone tell me what the ::beep:: is going on?" Shrieked Petunia
Voldemort glanced at Harry "Come on brat-who-lived. One spell and she's GONE. It's like BAM. Dead on the floor." He looked eagerly at Harry.
Harry pondered over this "You've got a wonderful point there. But, alas I can't. She does my laundry."
"I've had enough of this" Roared Vernon out of know where. Which caused Voldemort, Harry and Draco to fly 5 feet in the air cursing.
"You've lived with them ever since your parents bit the dust?" Asked Voldy scowling
Harry nodded and said sarcastically "Wonderful aren't they?"
"I actually feel bad" He retorted
"Therapy's workin'" Said Harry "Pretty soon you'll have a family of ya own."
"With little Voldy's runnin' around" He said dreamily "And a nice house with a white picket fence?"
Harry nodded "Dude, we'll give ya the works. Silver broom handles and a nice rack for ya wand, right Draky?"
"Don't call me Draky" Said Draco
"Alright now," Said Dudley "I'm hungry"
"Shut it pig" Said Draco
"You shut it!"
"No you shut it!"
"No YOU shut it!"
Voldemort stood up and frowned at Dudley "Don't talk to my hommie like that! ADVADA-"
"BAD VOLDY," Reprimanded Harry snatching his wand away "You've been a bad boy! Think about what you've just done!"
Voldemort sat down dejectedly "I need to get myself in check."
"Get yourself a woman then," Snorted Draco
Harry turned towards him "What's with you snogging Ginny in the supermarket yesterday?"
Draco blushed lightly "None of your business, Potty"
"Oh man you got me good with that one, Draky." Said Harry sarcastically
"I said don't call me that!"
"Save a horse--ride a cowboy!" Sang Voldemort happily
Draco conjured three stick horses and three cowboy hat's passing one to Harry and Voldemort. Harry pointed his wand to the stereo and the famous country song came on.
"DUM-DE-DE-DUM, DE-DE-DUM-DE-DE-DUM, DE-DAA-DAAAAA" Sang Voldy "DUM-DE-DE- DUM, DE-DE-DUM-DE-DE-DUM, DE-DAA-DAA-DAA-DAA-DAAAA!"
Harry and Draco were swaying to the beat.
"Well, I walk into the room," Crooned Draco "Passing out hundred dollar bills, and it kills, and it thrills like the horns on my Silverado grill. And I buy the bar a double round of crown
And everybody's getting down, An' this town ain't never gonna be the same."
"'Cause I saddle up my horse," Sang Harry getting on his horse and galloping slowly around the kitchen with Voldemort and Draco. "And I ride into the city. I make a lot of noise 'cause the girls they are so pretty. Riddin' up and down Broadway on my old stud Leroy and the girl's say. Save a horse, ride a cowboy. Everybody say's-"
Voldy, Draco and Harry leaned in crooning "Save a horse, ride a cowboy!"
"Well I don't give a dang about nothing," Sang Voldemort "I'm singing and Bling- Blanging. While the girls are drinking, long necks down! And I wouldn't trade ol' Leroy or my Chevrolet for your Escalade, or your freak parade. I'm the only John Wayne left in this town."
"And I saddle up my horse," Sang all three of them "And I ride into the city. I make a lot of noise cause the girls they are so pretty. Riding up and down Broadway, on my old stud Leroy, and the girls say 'Save a horse, ride a cowboy.' Everybody says 'Save a horse, Ride a cowboy.'"
The music shut off and everyone looked up to see Dumbledore standing in the door was looking quite angry. "Why is Tom here?" He asked looking at Draco
Draco smirked "He made me do it"
"Well," Said Voldemort taking off his cowboy hat and handing his horse to Dudley "You know how it is brat-who-lived."
Harry nodded to him "Same time this year?"
Voldemort looked confused "For what?"
"Your trying to kill me remember?"
"Oh yeah," He looked at Dumbledore and in a mean voice said "Watch your back you mud-blood lover!" He slammed the door
Harry waved yelling "SEE YA VOLDY!!!" He turned around and faced Dumbledore "Yes?"
"Harry, what is going on?"
"Whoa man, like whoa! OK whoa" Said Harry "Don't come up all in my grill and be like," Harry screws up his face and does a Godfather voice. "Harry, what is going on?"
Draco fell out of his chair laughing "Good one Potty!"
"Thank's Draky!"
"Damit! Don't call me that!"
A/N: Hey I got bored! ::big grin:: Should I write more? I can't update that often 'cause I have another story I must up-date every two weeks and it takes up a lot of my time. But, I can do both. Although these chapters won't nearly be as long. See that little button down there on the left side. Review and tell me what ya think.
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A/N: Time for a parody! I call this story "Harry Potter and the dude in therapy." Don't expect some GREAT story, lol, it's pretty dumb. lol. It's, um, really weird. But, you have to read my other story. It's a Marauder one called "A Wrinkle in Time." Ta ta!
Harry walked lazily down the stairs into the kitchen.
"What do you want boy?" Barked his uncle Vernon.
"Same thing you want" He retorted "Something to eat"
"Don't you get smart with me"
Harry snorted "Sorry it seems I've forgotten how low you I.Q is."
Vernon blinked confusedly at him before shouting "Just---oh get out!"
Harry sat down and ignored his uncle. His aunt Petunia walked in and immediately glared at Harry, who just yawned.
"Comb your hair" She snapped
"Get that stick out of your ass" He snapped back
"You will not talk to you aunt like that!" Roared Vernon
Harry was too busy laughing to pay any attention to him.
Dudley walked in and glared at Harry "Mum, dad Harry's in my seat."
"No I'm not you filthy animal. You broke yours yesterday."
Silence.
"Here, here" Said Draco Malfoy walking in "Potter's got a back bone."
"Who the hell are you? Asked Petunia
Draco smirked "Harry Potter's secret keeper"
"Has Dumbledore lost all his marbles?" Yelled Harry
"I reckon"
Harry sighed in annoyance "So Voldy's comin' here now?"
Draco bit into an apple and nodded "Should 'ave been here by now."
"Probably got lost, damn taxi's."
Draco snorted "Got that right. Took me three hours to get here. The asshole kept goin' the wrong way."
Harry ignored him "You'd think The-dude-that-came-back-to-life-just-to- annoy-me, woulda gave up by now. But, NOOO he want's to live just to annoy me."
There was a snort from the doorway. "That's kind of redundent" Voldemort walked in "Wassup mah hommie!"
Harry got up to give him a high five "Keepin' it real. You?"
He shrugged "Same as last time. Plottin' for world domination."
"Can someone tell me what the ::beep:: is going on?" Shrieked Petunia
Voldemort glanced at Harry "Come on brat-who-lived. One spell and she's GONE. It's like BAM. Dead on the floor." He looked eagerly at Harry.
Harry pondered over this "You've got a wonderful point there. But, alas I can't. She does my laundry."
"I've had enough of this" Roared Vernon out of know where. Which caused Voldemort, Harry and Draco to fly 5 feet in the air cursing.
"You've lived with them ever since your parents bit the dust?" Asked Voldy scowling
Harry nodded and said sarcastically "Wonderful aren't they?"
"I actually feel bad" He retorted
"Therapy's workin'" Said Harry "Pretty soon you'll have a family of ya own."
"With little Voldy's runnin' around" He said dreamily "And a nice house with a white picket fence?"
Harry nodded "Dude, we'll give ya the works. Silver broom handles and a nice rack for ya wand, right Draky?"
"Don't call me Draky" Said Draco
"Alright now," Said Dudley "I'm hungry"
"Shut it pig" Said Draco
"You shut it!"
"No you shut it!"
"No YOU shut it!"
Voldemort stood up and frowned at Dudley "Don't talk to my hommie like that! ADVADA-"
"BAD VOLDY," Reprimanded Harry snatching his wand away "You've been a bad boy! Think about what you've just done!"
Voldemort sat down dejectedly "I need to get myself in check."
"Get yourself a woman then," Snorted Draco
Harry turned towards him "What's with you snogging Ginny in the supermarket yesterday?"
Draco blushed lightly "None of your business, Potty"
"Oh man you got me good with that one, Draky." Said Harry sarcastically
"I said don't call me that!"
"Save a horse--ride a cowboy!" Sang Voldemort happily
Draco conjured three stick horses and three cowboy hat's passing one to Harry and Voldemort. Harry pointed his wand to the stereo and the famous country song came on.
"DUM-DE-DE-DUM, DE-DE-DUM-DE-DE-DUM, DE-DAA-DAAAAA" Sang Voldy "DUM-DE-DE- DUM, DE-DE-DUM-DE-DE-DUM, DE-DAA-DAA-DAA-DAA-DAAAA!"
Harry and Draco were swaying to the beat.
"Well, I walk into the room," Crooned Draco "Passing out hundred dollar bills, and it kills, and it thrills like the horns on my Silverado grill. And I buy the bar a double round of crown
And everybody's getting down, An' this town ain't never gonna be the same."
"'Cause I saddle up my horse," Sang Harry getting on his horse and galloping slowly around the kitchen with Voldemort and Draco. "And I ride into the city. I make a lot of noise 'cause the girls they are so pretty. Riddin' up and down Broadway on my old stud Leroy and the girl's say. Save a horse, ride a cowboy. Everybody say's-"
Voldy, Draco and Harry leaned in crooning "Save a horse, ride a cowboy!"
"Well I don't give a dang about nothing," Sang Voldemort "I'm singing and Bling- Blanging. While the girls are drinking, long necks down! And I wouldn't trade ol' Leroy or my Chevrolet for your Escalade, or your freak parade. I'm the only John Wayne left in this town."
"And I saddle up my horse," Sang all three of them "And I ride into the city. I make a lot of noise cause the girls they are so pretty. Riding up and down Broadway, on my old stud Leroy, and the girls say 'Save a horse, ride a cowboy.' Everybody says 'Save a horse, Ride a cowboy.'"
The music shut off and everyone looked up to see Dumbledore standing in the door was looking quite angry. "Why is Tom here?" He asked looking at Draco
Draco smirked "He made me do it"
"Well," Said Voldemort taking off his cowboy hat and handing his horse to Dudley "You know how it is brat-who-lived."
Harry nodded to him "Same time this year?"
Voldemort looked confused "For what?"
"Your trying to kill me remember?"
"Oh yeah," He looked at Dumbledore and in a mean voice said "Watch your back you mud-blood lover!" He slammed the door
Harry waved yelling "SEE YA VOLDY!!!" He turned around and faced Dumbledore "Yes?"
"Harry, what is going on?"
"Whoa man, like whoa! OK whoa" Said Harry "Don't come up all in my grill and be like," Harry screws up his face and does a Godfather voice. "Harry, what is going on?"
Draco fell out of his chair laughing "Good one Potty!"
"Thank's Draky!"
"Damit! Don't call me that!"
A/N: Hey I got bored! ::big grin:: Should I write more? I can't update that often 'cause I have another story I must up-date every two weeks and it takes up a lot of my time. But, I can do both. Although these chapters won't nearly be as long. See that little button down there on the left side. Review and tell me what ya think.
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