Chapter Four: In Confidence I Believe

Liz sat at the bar at O'Reilly's, not really having anywhere to go otherwise, since most of the places that she went to when she was in Minnesota, whether she was traveling with Jean, or with Matt and the rest of the Canucks, or just on vacation, weren't exactly built yet. Besides, she didn't want to hang around the hotel anymore, knowing that Jack would probably come by, begging for forgiveness or something along those lines. She didn't want to see him, to be perfectly honest. Seeing Jack right now would just bring up a whole bunch of unnecessary complications, complications that she just didn't have the energy to deal with right now. She honestly couldn't begin to explain why she'd lashed out at Jack the way she did. At the very least, she knew that she was disappointed in him, for having let his immaturity and short fuse get the better of him, even after the talk they had. Still, why she was disappointed was what she didn't quite understand. Jack meant nothing to her right?? She wasn't even really sure that she could call him a friend, since she hadn't known him that long. And that was besides the point, the point being that she and Jessica would eventually leave Minnesota, leave this timeframe, and it honestly wouldn't matter what Jack was to her, or if there was anything between them, because she'd be gone, and nothing good could come of them even being friends to each other.

She sighed to herself then, wishing that she actually believed that train of thought. Whether she admitted it herself or not, she knew that she was starting to form a bond with the guys on the team, bonds of friendship that she knew that she wasn't about to forget no matter when it was that she ended up going back to Vancouver, to the year 2004. What bothered her even more though, was the fact that she not only felt that bond with the entire Olympic team, but also with Jack. The problem was, she didn't want to have that sort of bond with him, because she was afraid that it would lead to something else, something that she wasn't ready for. She had just gotten out of a very good, yet painful relationship with Jean, and she had no intention to get herself into another so soon. What was worse, the only thing that would happen would be that Jack would end up heartbroken when she left, and also feel betrayed that she didn't tell him the truth.

Irritated, she took a huge gulp of the cocktail in her hand, knowing that she felt hurt by the fact that Jack had went ahead and still beat Robbie down, even after the talk they had. It was like Jack betrayed her, in some strange way, almost like he had PROMISED her that he wouldn't go after Robbie and give away some of his dignity, yet he broke that promise and did it anyway. She knew it was irrational because Jack never promised her anything, and the fact that they talked really didn't mean anything, at least not to him.

Liz continued to mull over this, while sipping her cocktail, thinking so hard that she didn't hear someone call her name. In a daze, she only heard her name because the bar tender had to get her attention.

"Excuse me, Miss? The guy's trying to get your attention." Liz whipped her head around to see Mark Johnson, to her relief, instead of Jack, sliding onto the barstool next to her.

"What's wrong, Liz?? I saw you leave after the fight. Jack's been goin' nuts, he's been lookin' all over town for you."

Liz sighed again, focusing on the wall behind the bar rather than on Mark's face. 'Well, I guess it's a good thing that I wasn't at any of the places he looked then." Mark looked at her puzzled, not sure what she was getting at. "But why, Liz?? I mean, I know that you were really upset when he hit Mac, hell we all were. OC's never been good about keeping his temper in check. It's just like him to hold a grudge for three years and then dish out a little payback whenever he feels like it. But he really is sorry Liz, I know he is. He apologized to Mac for it, even though Mac's still a little sore at him over the hit. He wants to apologize to you too, you know."

Liz sighed again, apologizing after the fact was too little too late. "Mark, it's all well and good that OC apologized to Robbie, it really is. I guess I'm just disappointed in him, that's why. I mean, we talked about it, we talked about his grudge against Robbie, and he gave me the impression that he wasn't going to do anything. I honestly didn't think that he was going to. And when he did……I don't know, it just felt like he lied to me or something…..is that wrong??" Liz glanced over at Mark and saw a look of sympathy being directed her way.

"No, Liz, it isn't wrong. I mean, you and OC are friends right?" Mark watched her as she nodded slowly. "Well then, what's the problem?? I know that you're disappointed in him, but that's perfectly okay. I guess I am too, in a way, but I'm more or less okay with it, because that's just the way he is. I played for U of Wisconsin for years against Rizzo, OC, Jimmy and the rest of the guys Boston U. That's just the way he is. The best thing you can do is to just accept his apology and move on. You know, OC's started to change ever since you and your sister came here. He's calmed down a lot, and he's more willing to admit it when he's wrong. He's just a nicer guy in general, you know, because of you. I think," Mark paused suddenly, watching Liz's reaction.

Liz was slowly shaking her head as though she didn't want to believe it, almost like she didn't want to believe that someone like Jack O'Callahan could be capable of change. Mark reached over and lightly draped one arm over her shoulder, wrapping her in a slight hug.

"Listen, Liz, I know that you don't believe me, but Jack has a thing for you. I can tell, just by the way he acts around you. I never thought I'd see O.C. speechless in my life, but I have. It just seems like he gets his words mixed around you, like he can't even think straight. You weren't there when he first talked to us about you, but man, I've never heard the guy stutter so much in my life. He kept talking about how hot you were, and how he wanted to get to know you better. He actually told us to shut up more than once whenever you walked by. Look, I know you think that he's just an immature guy who holds a grudge, and who just plays around like nothing means anything to him, but trust me when I tell you that O.C. cares about you. He really does, I've been friends with him, longer than he's had a grudge against Mac, and he's never looked at another girl the way he's looked at you. I know it's hard to believe, but just trust me on this."

Liz just shook her head, not because she was unwilling to believe Mark's words, it was more like she did believe them, yet she was trying to convince herself to just turn away, and not listen to any of it. However Jack felt about her, and however she felt about him, nothing good was going to come from them being together. She wasn't even going to think about going that road; therefore, anything that Mark just said to her didn't matter. At least, that's what she kept trying to convince herself of. She had walked into this timeframe, telling herself not to screw up history, and just to watch the sequence of events unfold, and then be done with it. What she hadn't counted on, was actually developing friendships with the guys on the team, and actually beginning to care about them as people.

What's more, she found herself starting to care more and more about Jack, something she didn't want to do. It was just going to get messier and messier, and harder to escape once she was in. She got up from the bar, giving Mark a wan smile as she did so.

"Look Mark, I appreciate what you're trying to do here, but it's not going to work. Whatever I thought I saw in Jack obviously isn't there, so I'll just cut my losses and fold, right now, before anyone else misinterprets something. I know that you're Jack's friend and I want to thank you for being my friend too, in case I don't see you again before I leave."

Mark stood up, shocked, nearly knocking his barstool over. "You're leaving?? But why, Liz, I thought you and Jess were going to hang with us at Lake Placid. Don't leave on account of O.C. being an idiot. We still want you here, you know, we need our cheerleaders. C'mon, what do you say….will you stay??"

Still Liz shook her head, gathering up her stuff and walking out of O'Reilly's as fast as she could. She couldn't wait to get out of there fast enough. She speed-walked away, with Mark's protests still ringing behind her.

Meanwhile……………..

Jessica had run after her sister, after she'd left Jack just standing there, after his 'fight' with Robbie. Liz just brushed her off, and said that she would talk to her later. Still, as the older sibling, Jessica could always tell when something was bothering her little sister, and something definitely was, when she left the arena. But, Jessica knew enough to give her sister her space, and just decided to sit back and let her come to her, with whatever was bothering her. Jessica knew it had something to do with Jack, although she wasn't sure what. His crestfallen expression after her sister brushed him off was the biggest indicator that he did something wrong, or at least Liz thought he did something wrong, and for once, he actually agreed with her.

Jessica simply went back to her seat to watch the rest of practice, noting the differences in their practices, versus what the Canucks did to prepare for games during morning skate. Granted, there was a twenty-four year gap from where she came from, and where she was now, so of course the differences would be there. She also reminded herself that the Canucks trained for the NHL, while these guys were training to compete in the international level for the Olympics. She also noted that they were still college kids, while her 'boys' were all pro. She made a mental note to ask Eddie what the training sessions were like under Pat Quinn, when they went to Salt Lake City, two years ago.

As Jessica looked up onto the ice as the guys were getting re-assembled for the drills, she saw Jimmy wink at her as he was skating back to his net. She smiled and winked back at him, to which he laughed. He mouthed to her 'later' to which she nodded. She just relaxed and watched as the guys took a pounding on the ice, not so much in checking, but just in doing the 'Herbies', and other demanding physical work that Herb was making them do.

Practice was over in two and a half hours, during which time Jessica had managed to read the book 'Greatest Moments in Vancouver Canucks Hockey History' about ten times, cover to cover. It wasn't that she was bored, per se, it was just that she felt like she needed to have something more to do, after all, she and Liz were close friends of the fellas on the Canucks, and as such, they'd joke more, and be more interactive than normal fans. Marc Crawford tolerated it, because through the years, Jessica had been Dan Cloutier's girl, and her sister Matt Cooke's, and also 'sisters' to the other guys on the team that it really did seem like they were one big family. Marc also let them stay because they knew hockey, and they wouldn't distract the guys when they were practicing.

So, it wasn't that Jessica was bored, it was just different, one more thing to compare these practices and the Canucks' practices with. She waited patiently until Jimmy was done changing and everything else, then stood outside the dressing room waiting for him.

Mac came out first, and Jessica immediately walked over to him, concerned about how he was doing. Mac that he was fine, and the fact that Jack had apologized for the hit made everything somewhat better. Jessica just kept waiting for Jimmy while some of the other guys filed out, Mark included, who then told Jessica that he'd try and find Liz, since he was worried about her, and he didn't want her to waste her 'date' with Jimmy. Even though she protested, saying that Liz was her sister, Mark refused to listen, and just gave her a little shove in Jimmy's general direction, and told her to leave the worrying to someone else for a change.

Which was why Jessica now found herself sitting across from Jimmy in a booth at some restaurant, eating dinner and chatting about what happened before. She was feeling more and more comfortable with Jimmy around, which she took as a good sign. Jimmy had been nothing but good to her and her sister since they all of a sudden dropped into this timeframe, and he was really good about not asking questions. Still, she wanted to know Jimmy, the real Jimmy Craig, not just based on what she'd read about him, or what she learned from watching Miracle.

She didn't realize that she'd drifted off until she felt Jimmy take her hand from across the table. "Earth to Jess!" Jimmy yelled playfully, a grin stretching across his face. Jessica shook her head, snapping out of her daze, focusing her eyes on Jimmy.

"What, sorry, what were you talking about?? I just spaced out for a second." Jimmy nodded, still smiling. "Yeah, I'll say. Where were you just now?? I called you and called you, and you weren't answering, like you were in a waking coma."

Jessica flushed, embarrassed to have been caught daydreaming. 'I'm really sorry Jimmy; I guess I just drifted without really knowing where I was. So, anyway, what were we talking about?"

Jimmy smiled, patting her hand lightly. "C'mon, what do you say that we get out of here? I don't know about you, but it'd be good to get out of someplace that's this noisy." Jessica took a look around and realized that Jimmy was right.

The pair paid the bill, with Jimmy shelling out the cash because he didn't believe in ladies having to pay on the first date, despite Jessica's protests that they were hardly on a date. The pair left the diner, and went out to Jimmy's car, intent on just driving somewhere and talking.

Jessica couldn't speak for Jimmy, but she did know that she wasn't ready for another relationship so soon after Paul. Even if Jimmy was a normal guy from 2004, Jessica knew that she couldn't pursue a relationship with him when she was still getting over Paul. She knew that it would just be a rebound relationship, and to do that to Jimmy, knowing that she couldn't give her whole heart to him, wouldn't be fair to him.

Jimmy's expression was unreadable as he pulled into the parking space at the top of the hill, over looking St. Paul. Jessica nervously realized that it was a make-out spot, but decided not to say anything, because she didn't want to misinterpret Jimmy's intentions. However, if his intentions were that he wanted something more, then she'd have to put a stop to it.

Jimmy reached over and grabbed her hand, surprised that her hand was so icy cold. As he massaged warmth into it, he noticed that she wasn't even looking at him, like she didn't want to see him all of a sudden. Concerned, he reached over and gently grasped her chin, turning her face to him.

"Jess? What's going on, you can't even look at me, and you've barely said a word since we left the diner. What's wrong? Did I do something, that's why you're upset with me?"

Jessica shook her head, returning Jimmy's worried look with a smile, and then she gripped his hand, as he was trying to warm hers. "No, Jimmy, it ain't you, I just have some stuff I have to figure out that's all. You haven't done anything wrong, I'm just thinking too much about stuff, that's all."

Jimmy grinned then, turning the music on the stereo up slightly. "You know, even though we've hung out together and stuff, I barely know anything about you. Like, what's the rest of your family like? Is it just you and Liz?? Where'd you grow up?? What sports do you play?? How do you know so much about hockey??"

Jessica laughed; feeling like it was the first time she laughed in a long time. "Whoa, whoa, Jimmy slow down!! Okay, one question at a time. It is just me and Liz in the family, although we grew up with cousins and stuff that were like our brothers and sisters. We grew up in Sault. St. Marie, Ontario, we play soccer, tennis, some golf, and basketball, besides hockey. We know as much as we do about hockey because we're buddies with a whole bunch of them, including you guys, and we actually play too."

Jimmy nodded to all of this, still holding onto her hand. "But what about your parents??"

Jessica snorted, the nightmares coming back like it was yesterday. "Let's see, my old man was a fucking nutcase. Drank a lot, smoked a lot, and always thought someone was after him. It was paranoia at its highest. My mom?? Quiet, no backbone, just let the old man have his reign of everything, that plus she was suicidal. Fuck, Liz and I stayed out of their way most of the time, Mom paying for all the different lessons and classes that we took. Then one day, I was twelve and Liz was nine, we came home to our old man beating Mom to death with a hammer. Just smashing her skull in. He turned on us, and beat us down too. Guess we struggled too much for him, because he didn't finish the job. He blew his brains out with a shotgun all over our brand-new curtains. Mom died about five minutes later. I lost my long-term memory for two years, and Liz her short-term for a year. After that we went to go live with our Uncle Armand and Aunt Sarah, and they raised us."

The look of stunned shock and horror on Jimmy's face didn't come as a surprise to Jessica, but what did surprise her was the unshed tears glittering in his eyes. Wordlessly, he reached over and pulled her into his arms, her head landing on his shoulder.

"God, Jess, I'm so sorry that you had to go through that. It wasn't fair, and it was wrong, and I'm glad that that bastard paid for it, even though it ain't fair that he killed himself before the cops got him. I'm so sorry."

Her head on Jimmy's chest, Jessica sighed, a few stray tears trickling down her cheeks. "I'm sorry too, Jimmy. But it's okay, it's all over now, and it's a part of the past."

What Jimmy did next shocked Jessica to the core. He pulled her closer to him, and tilted her chin up, so that he could look her in the eyes.

"Jimmy what are you-"Jessica was cut off when Jimmy raised his finger to her lips.

He lowered his mouth to hers, and kissed her, putting all of the sorrow, guilt, and passion that he felt for her into the kiss.

Jessica yelped, obviously surprised by the kiss, but was even more flabbergasted when she felt herself starting to respond, the passion in her for Jimmy building as well.

Meanwhile…….

Liz folded up her clothes again, to pack back into her suitcase. She really didn't want to leave, but she knew that leaving was the only way that she would be able to get Jack out of her head, and the only way that she wasn't going to screw history, not that it wasn't already screwed up just by her being there. The quicker she left the better. And if she could just find Jessica, then everything would be fine. Unfortunately, she had no idea where her sister was, and in this timeframe their cell phones had no way in hell of working.

She was just putting her scarf back into her duffel bag, when there was a knock on the door. Thinking her sister had forgotten her key, or that it was Mark, coming to ask her why she left O'Reilly's so fast. Still, she refrained from opening the door right away, thinking that maybe her sister had found her key, or that Mark had just left.

"So, Jess, did you forget-"

The next words stuck in Liz's throat, because it wasn't her sister standing in the doorway.

It was Jack.

tbc…………………