Between the Thorns

Chapter 15

After her talk with Sherry, Jean felt a little better. She hugged her girls tight when she returned to her apartment. They were playing with a well worn deck of uno cards. Jean sat down at the table and joined them, grateful to have a moment of normalcy in their otherwise chaotic new lives. She tried not to let her thoughts drift to her late husband, who was an enthusiastic card player. He taught her nearly every card game he knew, even before the turn. Back in normal life, they were friends with a couple that lived down the street. The four of them got together often for cards and beers. Jean smiled at the thought, hoping she was finally breaking past the point where any memory of her husband caused her pain. They had so many good times together. Times she didn't want to forget. Or let her girls forget.

"Mom!," Lily hollered, even though Jean was sitting less than an arm's reach away. Jean smiled, reminding her younger daughter that there was no reason to yell at her when she was sitting right there. Rose giggled. "What's for dinner?," Lily asked. Jean shrugged. Her appetite was still nonexistent. So she hadn't given it much thought.

"Whatever's at the caf I guess," she said. Jean saw her older daughter pale a little at the idea of returning to the place she was attacked. "I'll go down and get us something in a little while," she offered, "...okay, Rose?" Rose nodded, her face full of relief.

"I'm hungry!," Lily whined. Jean shook her head at the girl. Lily was always hungry.

"Or I could go get us something now," Jean said, reaching over to tickle the younger girl's ribs. Lily giggled. But then she was right back to complaining about her possible death by starvation. Jean grabbed a hooded sweatshirt off the back of her chair and pulled it down over her head to cover the little bralette top she was wearing because it was stuffy inside her apartment. She slid her feet into her shoes and swung the door open.

Jean shrieked and stepped back, nearly stumbling and falling on her face. Simon was standing in her doorway, his hand raised to knock on the door. Jean wasn't afraid of him. Just startled because she didn't expect anyone to be standing in her doorway. Simon also wasn't expecting the door to be swung open just as he was lifting his hand to knock on it. And he had a similar reaction to Jean's sudden presence, nearly dropping the items in his other hand. Once they recovered from their mutual shock, both of them started laughing.

"Holy crap on a cracker!," Lily hollered. "Is that pizza?" Jean scolded the girl for her language as she stepped back to keep herself from being bowled over. Simon teased the girl, holding the cardboard box up and out of her reach.

"It's not for you," he joked. "The pizza is for me and your mom. I brought you girls some canned spam." He glanced at Jean. She was smiling at the look of absolute horror on her daughter's face.

"Mooooom," Lily whined, "I don't want to eat spam!"

"He's just teasing," Jean said, grasping her daughter and pulling her out of the way so Simon could enter her apartment. She knew he wasn't bringing the girls pizza just to be nice. On the contrary, Jean knew this was most certainly another attempt to talk her into accepting his proposal. And it was a smart one. Simon had to know there was no way she could send him away when he brought the girls pizza, the one thing they missed most from before the turn.

"I've got pizza and chips," Simon said, placing the box down on the table before Lily could get loose from her mother's grasp and knock it out of his hands like she nearly did when she came at him in the doorway. He smiled at Jean before he added, "...and wine."

Jean shook her head. But instead of objecting, she retrieved two glasses from her cupboard. The girls descended on the food like ravenous little wolves. Lily was shoving a handful of kettle cooked chips into her mouth while she grabbed for a slice of pizza. Rose folded a slice in half longways and shoveled nearly half of it into her mouth in one bite. The pizza was clearly homemade. But having it in the box made it feel more like real before the turn takeout food.

"I swear I fed them today," Jean joked. From the way the girls were acting, one would think her daughters hadn't eaten in a month.

"I'm just glad they like it," Simon said, handing Jean a glass of wine and clinking his cup against hers. "I wasn't sure what the girls like to eat. I figured everyone likes pizza and chips, right?." The truth was, Simon knew John used to have the cafeteria staff make his girls a special dinner when he came back from a mission. So Simon just had them make the same thing for him. All he did was bring it here.

Jean took a few long swallows of her wine, realizing that after the day she had she really did need a drink in the worst way. She was never a heavy drinker. But before the turn, she was fond of having a glass of wine to relax at the end of the day.

"You didn't have to do this," she said. "Thank you." Simon nodded. He thought about pointing out that he could do this for them all the time. If Jean would let him. But he decided to follow through on his plan, which was to let Jean get at least the first glass or two of wine down. Then he would start plying her with promises.

Since Jean was focused on her daughters, Simon was able to let his eyes rake over her body without making her uncomfortable. She was wearing a hooded sweatshirt. It was loose on her arms but cropped so that a sliver of her toned stomach was visible. Her jeans were snug and ripped in the knees. Her long dark hair was pulled up in a sloppy bun on top of her head. He could see the curve of her hips and the taut cords of her neck. There were dark circles under her eyes but they didn't detract from her appearance. Jean was the type of woman that made looking beautiful seem effortless. The kind of girl Simon wouldn't have a sliver of a chance in hell of getting with before the turn.

"More?," Simon asked, gesturing towards her nearly empty glass. Jean shrugged and held her glass out for a refill. She was enjoying the numbing effects of the alcohol more than she thought she would. Her body had been in a constant state of tension since the moment Negan knocked on her door and told her that John was never coming home again. Jean knew it was only the effects of the wine, but she still felt eternally grateful when a little of that tension started to dissipate.

Before all of it was gone, Rose wrapped up a slice of pizza and disappeared into her room with it. Jean thought it was a little strange. The girl never felt the need to hide or hoard food before. And taking food into the bedrooms was technically against the rules. Because if the girls forgot and left it in there, they would end up with roaches or ants in their beds. But Jean decided that after Rose's ordeal the day before, if the worst the girl did was hide a piece of pizza for later, that was fine with her.

"We were playing uno," Lily said, glancing at Simon. "Want to play with us?"

"It just so happens that uno is my favorite game," Simon told her. Jean rolled her eyes, biting back a grin. It was an obvious lie. But sort of a funny one. There was no way a grown man was that excited to play uno. Simon refilled both their glasses and took a seat at the table. By the second round, Jean's daughters were in hysterics. Jean was over her limit on wine. She kept throwing down the wrong cards and calling out uno for no reason. Finally Simon told the girls they were going to have to play by themselves. He helped Jean up from the table and walked her over to the couch.

"Sorry," she mumbled. "I haven't really been eating and that wine went straight to my head." He waved off her unnecessary apology, sitting down next to her and wrapping his arm around her shoulders. Jean was drunk enough that Simon knew it wouldn't take much effort to coax her into bed with him. And he wanted her badly enough that he was strongly considering it. He had to remind himself several times that he was playing the long game with Jean. He wanted her for more than just the night. If he took her now, there was a chance she might regret it in the morning. Or worse, she might wake up feeling like she was taken advantage of. Simon didn't want that. When he took her to his bed, he wanted to make sure she was going to wake up happy to be there. So he sufficed himself by holding her close to him on the couch while her girls played cards at the table. Just when he was thinking he might risk trying to sneak in a kiss, the door swung open.

"Daryl!" Rose scraped her chair back from the table and flew at the man in the doorway. Lily was close behind her. Both of them were fawning over the man like he was some sort of celebrity and not a killer that Negan sent here to live with them in order to punish their mother for some imagined slight. Just when Simon thought it couldn't get any worse, Jean pushed herself up off the couch and headed towards the man as well.

Simon was relieved for a moment, when Jean started pulling her girls off the asshole. He assumed she didn't want them hugging all over the fucking savage. But Simon's stomach sank when he realized Jean wasn't pulling her daughters away because she was worried for their safety. They were just in her way. Once she pulled the girls off Daryl, Jean wrapped her arms around him, resting her head against his chest. He stood awkwardly, not hugging Jean back but instead looking down at her like he was trying to figure out what in hell was happening.

"You were gone so long," Jean said, "I was worried you got lost." She glanced up. Not only was she worried Daryl might have got himself lost. She was also worried he did something even stupider and tried to escape. And if she was being totally honest with herself, she was also a little worried that he went home with Laura.

"Hug mommy," Lily instructed. "My mommy needs a hug."

Daryl sighed as he wrapped his arms around Jean. From the smell of her, he now had a good indication why she was suddenly being so friendly. He cast a dirty look at the man on the couch. Asshole gave her too much to drink. And Daryl had a good idea why. He led Jean over to the table and sat her down in a chair. Of all the possible scenarios he was expecting to walk into when he finally returned to Jean's apartment, this was one Daryl had not prepared himself for. Rose darted into her bedroom, reappearing with something she had wrapped in a towel. She thrust the item towards Daryl.

"We had pizza," she told him. "We ate it all but I saved a piece and hid it in my room for you."

With that, Simon decided he had his fill. He rose from the couch and headed for the door, slamming it shut behind him. Daryl held up his middle finger, pointing it the direction the man stormed off in. Then he got a cup of water and set it in front of Jean.

"Time for bed," Daryl told the girls, pointing them toward their room and hoping they didn't need any assistance from him. Because Jean was leaning forward over the table with her face buried in the crook of her elbow. Her body was shaking slightly and Daryl wasn't sure if she was laughing or crying or maybe both. But either way he figured she would rather not have her daughters around to witness whatever drunken breakdown she was about to have.

"It's early," Rose said. "If we get ready for bed, can we keep the light on for a while and read?" Daryl wasn't sure if they were allowed to stay up reading. But it sounded like a reasonable request. So he nodded his head. The girls rushed over to pick out books from a shelf nearby. Then they hurried off into their room. Daryl looked down at Jean and scratched his head. He shifted his weight from one foot to the other. Unsure of what he should do, he finally placed his hand gently on her back.

"You alright?," he asked. Jean choked off a strangled sob, which he assumed meant she was in fact pretty far from alright. Daryl glanced towards the girls bedroom. He was worried that if they heard their mom crying, the situation would escalate. So he scooped Jean up from the chair and carried her into her bedroom, setting her down gently on the edge of the bed.

"I'm sorry," she sobbed. Daryl hesitated. But his instinct to offer her some small bit of kindness finally won out over his discomfort.

"No reason ta be sorry," he assured her. "Ya just had too much ta drink. Happens ta everyone."

"I should have some more," she lamented. "I'd like to go to sleep and never wake up." Daryl pulled her against him, rubbing his hands over Jean's back and smoothing down the wild hairs that escaped her bun. He didn't have any words of comfort to offer her. Daryl wished for death too. Many times. When his dad beat him so hard he was pissing blood. When Merle died. When he lost Beth. And most recently, when he was down in that tiny cement box alone with only his regrets. Sometimes he wondered what he was fighting so hard to live for.

Jean snuggled into his embrace, burying her face into the crook of his neck. He could feel her breath ghosting against the sensitive skin there. And his hand was resting against the sliver of skin between the hem of her shirt and the waistline of her pants.

"Would you…," Jean stammered. She pulled back, glancing at Daryl and then staring down at her lap. " I mean… Do you think you could hold me like you did last night? And not do anything else?"

Daryl caught her implication. Jean wanted to lie with him in bed. But she was nervous he might think she wanted to have sex with him. And it was just as well. Not that he didn't want her. But if something like that happened between them, it would only complicate things. For both of them. But Daryl quickly decided it wouldn't hurt anything for him just to hold her. With her slim body curled next to his, he slept better than he had since before the turn.

"I can do that."