Summary: One shot. Harry's seventh year is almost over! All he has to do is pass his Divination final, but the future is not always a kind thing, and what Harry sees in it scares the living daylights out of him…
Disclaimer: Characters—JKR. Song—"Cartoon Heroes" by Aqua.
Wizarding Heroes
"—and…oh! Oh! I'm going to be a rich and famous clothing designer! I'll put Madam Milkin out of business!"
Harry and Ron cast each other identical incredulous looks before emitting low groans. If Lavender Brown was going to become a famous clothing designer, Harry thought it might be wise to purchase all his clothing needs for the rest of his life.
He had been the unfortunate recipient of the girls' abysmal attempt at designing clothes a few months ago. She had given him a hideous mustard yellow and lilac sweater with little pink pompoms on it that painfully reminded him of the old sweaters he had been forced to wear as a child.
Of course, she had meant well—offering it as a thank you for having defeated Voldemort. He didn't have the heart to tell her what he truly thought of it and had been forced to wear it the whole day—much to the delight of Malfoy who still joked on him about it.
Currently, the sweater was safely stowed away somewhere in the country home that had been given to him by the same man who had sold his parents their home in Godric's Hollow. Yet another gift for having "saved the world," he, Ron, and Hermione planned on moving in the moment they graduated.
However, by the rate things were moving, next week felt like forever. He and Ron were in the last exam of their education at Hogwarts…that was the good news. The bad news…it was Divination. The exam itself seemed simple enough—all they needed to do in order to pass was tell the class in detail what they see themselves doing in five years.
The problem came when Lavender decided to spend the past hour and a half discussing everything from her marriage to Seamus Finnegan (when she mentioned this Seamus gave a hardy shudder) to her current topic of becoming a famous clothing designer. Even Professor Trelawney appeared to be growing tired of the girl's prolonged depiction of a future that, for all Harry could see, would never happen.
It was as Lavender went to draw in a deep breath that Trelawney saw her opportunity and patted Lavender on the hand, "Wonderful, dear. I see a very bright future for you. You may step down now, you pass."
Beaming, Lavender took her crystal ball and hurried back to her table where she and Parvati giggled excitingly. One thing Harry could be grateful for, Parvati had already gone. Though true that her future seemed as inaccurate and ludicrous as her friends, her reading didn't last quite as long as Lavender's.
Yawning, Harry leaned back in his chair. Most of the class had gone by now. It wouldn't be long until he was called. Ron had already gone—just before Lavender as a matter of fact. Predictably, Ron's predictions had been concise and, for the most part, realistic. He had spoken of how he would be living with his two best friends, how he would be playing Keeper for the Chudley Cannons—a position he had already been contracted for—and how he would be sued for jinxing one of his more obsessive fans.
Later, Harry would have to ask Ron exactly what type of fan it was. Obviously, he would have fans from Quidditch, but he had also managed to get the attention of quite a few girls after having he and Hermione had assisted him, Harry, in the final battle. It was odd to think that after so many years of being overlooked by the girls of Hogwarts, the both of them would be swarming with more than they could handle after doing something neither of them really had much choice in doing in the first place.
Harry was jerked out of his reverie as Ron jostled him and nodded at Trelawney who was beckoning him toward her.
"Sorry," he muttered as he grabbed his crystal ball and jumped down the few stairs that led to the base level of the room where Trelawney was already settling herself down.
Setting the ball down, Harry sighed inwardly. All he would have to do in order to pass was to come up with some cock-and-bull story of how he would die a horrible death by some loose Death Eater trying to get revenge. Still, after four years of bowing to Trelawney's eerie fondness for stories of his death, Harry didn't feel much like carrying on with it. After all, Ron's predictions had been virtually free of troubles, and he had passed.
Deciding, he settled himself in the chair opposite Trelawney and gazed into the crystal ball. For a long moment, he saw nothing. And, for an instant, he considered just making random assumptions about his future as he was certain Ron had done. However, just as he was opening his mouth, two bright lights shot through the fog within the ball.
Leaning closer, Harry tried to decipher what the lights were. What he saw, though, shocked him into silence and all acknowledgement of the others in the classroom disappeared.
Thousands of people, apparently witches and wizards judging by their choice of attire, crammed close together in front of a large building which appeared to be some sort of theatre house. All of them were pushing and shoving in order to get as close to the red carpeted entrance as possible.
Two giant machines shot beams of light into the sky, illuminating the theatre. High above the entrance, the title of the night's show was displayed in bright red letters which read "Wizarding Heroes."
Back down on the red carpet, a woman who could only be Rita Skeeter appeared to just finished an interview with none other than Dumbledore.
Turning back to the wizard camera crew in front of her, she smiled, "Once again, ladies and gentlemen, that was none other than Albus Dumbledore. And if his opinion of tonight's performance is any indication, Wizarding Heroes will push Little Wand of Mine out of the number one position it has held for the past nine months."
A long black limo pulled up in front of the building and the cheers of the crowd doubled. For, decorating the rear of the limo were two flags identical to the ones which represented the ministry.
Skeeter, who had also noticed this, motioned for her camera crew to follow her, "Ladies and gentlemen, this may just be it. It appears as if the Minister's car has finally arrived."
Slowly, the door to the limo opened and out stepped none other than Harry Potter. The shrieks that rose at his appearance only continued to arise as Hermione Granger and Ron Weasley followed him out of the limo.
Grinning at the crowd, it was difficult to tell whether or not the three were truly happy to see them all or if they were simply being polite. But before any of the three could take so much as a step further, Skeeter intercepted them.
"Minister! It is good to see that you and Lady Granger and Sir Weasley have arrived safely." Skeeter greeted.
Harry bit back a smirk and, instead, nodded. He doubted he or either of his companions would ever grow accustom to being addressed with their formal titles. He, himself, had been no where near being used to being called "sir" when he became Minister of Magic three years ago.
"It is good to be here," Harry responded politely.
"I hear this play is based upon your autobiography. Did you also write this play?"
Harry blanched. He had found writing an autobiography the perfect way to let everyone know what truly happened in his life. Indeed, after its publication, some of the more wild rumors about his life ceased to exist, though more than a few people continued to spout out absurd rumors they justified by stating that he was "too modest about his accomplishments."
All in all, however, things had been for the better after its publication. In fact, after seeing how effective his autobiography had been, Ron, Hermione, and quite a few others published their own autobiographies.
It wasn't until he had became hounded day in and day out for the rights to turn his life story into a play that things had begun to unravel. And, before you could say Quidditch, here he was, at a play about his life that he, personally, thought stretched the truth a bit more than he would have liked.
"No. Actually, it was one of my old Hogwarts professors—Professor Trelawney—who wrote it. She can be rather…persuasive when she wants to be."
"Fascinating! Is it true that the three of you will actually be performing a scene from the play?" Skeeter asked, causing all those on the sidelines to hear her to start screaming with excitement.
Harry shared looks of surprise with Ron and Hermione, "I'm not sure where you heard that, Ms. Skeeter, but I'm under contract not to discuss anything about the play until its first performance is over."
"Ah," Skeeter sounded incredibly disappointed, "Another doing of Trelawney?"
The three nodded, "You guessed it."
Ron glanced at his watch, "Well, it's been nice talking to you, but we better be going. The play will be starting any minute now."
"Of course." Skeeter stepped to the side, "I will be hoping to speak with you after the play!"
"We'll see." Harry called back over his shoulder.
The play, itself, went off without a hitch. Harry, who hadn't seen any of it prior to its premier, found himself rather pleased with the outcome. True, he would have preferred to not have a play about his life at all, but seeing as how he had found himself outvoted, the outcome wasn't nearly as bad as it could have been.
For the most part, the play was true to his own words—though, Harry noted, there were a few more mishaps involving his life with the Dursleys than he actually recalled happening. Indeed, he was most certain that Aunt Marge was safely back to raising her dogs, not working in some circus as the "amazing floating woman."
Even the actors and actresses had taken extra care in assuring the appearance to be identical those whom they were portraying. Harry still remembered quite vividly the day when Colin Creevey had come to request a few locks of his hair so that he could "be the real thing." It had taken quite a bit of persuading on Colin's part, but after Harry had been assured that his Polyjuice potion would be destroyed after the play's debut, he had reluctantly agreed.
However, some characters in the play could not have Polyjuice made for them. In such cases, magic and makeup proved to be quite effective. Indeed, Harry held felt his heart jump into his throat the first time he saw the actors and actress portraying his parents and Sirius. For this reason alone, Harry believed allowing the play to be created was worth it.
At the moment, though, the play was coming to a close. In a matter of ten or so minutes they would all be heading out to face the paparazzi again. Harry hoped vaguely that he would be able to avoid Skeeter, as she was certain to be more pressing in the follow up interview.
Finally, the curtain fell, hiding Colin-Harry and his bride kissing under the stars at their reception. Applause filled the room, though the lights didn't come on. A few minutes later, when the light still didn't come on, whispering began to erupt throughout the theatre.
Harry, Ron, and Hermione, however, merely gave each other reluctant smiles. They knew what was about to happen. Despite their ceaseless efforts to prevent it, Trelawney had, unbeknownst to them, slipped in a mention of this final performance which none of the three had noticed before signing. Consequentially, they had no power to stop it. So it was with hesitant foreboding that they awaited the inevitable.
Two loud drums suddenly erupted out of no where, echoing off the walls and silencing all in the theatre. Other instruments slowly joined the drums and the curtain slowly arose to reveal none other than the original Albus Dumbledore standing on the darkened stage.
The slight outbreak of whispering that had broken the audience's silence at his appearance was cut short when the legendary wizard actually started to sing:
"We are what we're supposed to be
Idols from your fantasies"
McGonagall appeared on the other side of the side of the stage, a second spotlight highlighting her:
"All magic folk that speak and say"
Out of no where, a loud chorus of voices joined together:
"What we do is what you wish to do"
All the members of the Order of the Phoenix, excluding the Weasleys, descended onto the stage on a giant magically created phoenix from up above:
"We are the magic symphony
We do things you won't believe"
Tonks hopped off the phoenix and skipped merrily forward, tripping only once on her way:
"Day by day
To the extreme"
Surprising all those around them, all the Weasleys except Ron jumped onto their seats:
"Our friends are so unreasonable
They do the unpredictable"
As all eight Weasleys made their way to the front and onto the stage, Fred and George threw large handfuls of their many Weasley Wheezes into the crowd who all scrambled to get what they could:
"All magic folk that speak and say"
When all the redheads finally arrived on the stage, they joined everyone in the center:
"What we do is what you wish to do"
The actor and actress, who played James and Lily, still in their getups, appeared as the crowd on the stage dispersed:
"It's all an orchestra of strings
Doing unbelievable things"
The original Remus and the actor who played Sirius arrived on stage via a pair of lifts below the stage:
"Day by day
To the extreme"
The four of them jumped into a short dance before smashing the glass balls in their hands onto the ground, causing a large eruption of smoke to appear:
"One by one
We're making it fun"
The smoke quickly dissolved to reveal a brightly lit stage upon which all those involved in the song were dancing well choreographed moves:
"We are the wizarding heroes
We are the ones who're gonna last forever
We fight against crazy minds
And are written about in the paper"
Ron bid his friends a quick farewell as he grabbed the rope left on the side of their balcony. Then, before he would allow himself to second guess himself, he jumped off, swinging directly over the heads of the audience members who shrieked with delight as they realized what was happening. As he landed neatly on the stage, everyone else sang to him:
"Here comes Ron Weasley, arachnophobian
Welcome to the heroes' party"
Pretending not to be offended by the comment about him being an arachnophobian, Ron assimilated into the dance routine as Harry appeared on stage via an unnecessarily large puff of smoke that erupted just as he apparated onto the stage. As Harry left the puff of smoke, the others on the stage enveloped him:
"Here comes Harry Potter, from never "never" land
Welcome to the heroes' party"
As he emerged from the others, Harry mocked a fight against someone dressed as a Death Eater:
"We learn to duel at speed of light
And to fall down from any height
It's true but just remember that"
Everyone else, who had sunk to the background, jumped simultaneously forward:
"What we do is what you just can't do"
On the opposing side of the stage, Ron held a Quaffle at his side:
"A lifetime of craziness
A bunch of fans keep chasing us
Day by day, to the extreme"
By now, Harry had joined Ron and both looked at each other momentarily before throwing the Quaffle and a Snitch—which Harry had held in his pocket—out into the crowd:
"One by one
We're making this fun"
Once again, those on stage broke out into a dance, in all honesty, was exceedingly more difficult to learn than it looked:
"We are the wizarding heroes
We are the ones who're gonna last forever
We fight against crazy minds
And are written about in the paper"
A rather large raven soared up above, directly to the stage. Upon its arrival there, a bright flash of light momentarily blinded the audience members. When it subsided, however, Hermione Granger was to be seen, being flipped by Harry and Ron who had caught her:
"Here comes Lady Granger, ataxaphobian
Welcome to the heroes' party"
Hermione had much the same reaction as Ron had, though she did her best to ignore it. Luckily for her, though, the audience's attention was temporarily shifted to the doors at the back of the auditorium where all the members of the DA burst through, laughing hurrying to the front of the room where everyone else continued on as if nothing had happened:
"Here comes the DA, from 'save a life' land
Welcome to the heroes' party"
Walking slowly to the front of the stage, Hermione held her hands behind her back:
"You think we're so mysterious
Don't take us all too serious"
The DA members jumped up from behind her:
"Be original
And remember that"
Hermione grinned and first held her arms up to symbolize those on stage before pointed out to the audience:
"What we do is what you just can't do"
Everyone on stage broke out into doing dozens of different things at the same time. Some jumped off the stage, mingling in the isles between the different sections of the audience. Others shot a multitude of different colored light into the air. And yet others still, mainly Fred and George, continued to shower audience members with freebees.
"What we do is what you just can't do
What we do is what you just can't do
What we do is what you just can't do
What we do is what you just can't do"
As the organized chaos continued to bring unsurpassed entertainment to audience members, everyone broke out into the chorus again:
"We are the wizarding heroes
We're the ones who're gonna last forever
We fight against crazy minds
And walked about on a piece of paper"
Anyone who had ever been in the DA surrounded Harry, Ron, and Hermione in the center of the stage:
"There's still more to come
And everyone will be welcomed at the
He—"
Everyone else punched their arm into the air:
"He—"
The DA members dropped to their knees:
"—roes"
The others on stage followed suit:
"—roes"
Simultaneously, everyone jumped higher than should have been possible. And, as a eye dazzling display of fireworks set off out of no where, they all disappeared, their voices still echoing off the walls:
"Party!"
Harry fell back in his chair, seemingly unaware of everyone staring at him. Surely, surely THAT couldn't be in his future! No! It was impossible! What in Merlin's name would ever possess him to allow Trelawney to write a play based on his life. And why in heaven's name would he allow himself to be forced into a musical number at the end of the play!?
"Your aura is pulsing, dear. What did you see?" Trelawney's voice brought him out of his reverie.
Harry blushed and muttered a short answer about how he was going to die a horrible death by the hands of some Death Eater seeking revenge. Then, without even waiting to hear if he passed or not, Harry hurried out of the room, quickly followed by Ron who was more than puzzled at his friend's strange behavior.
The rest of the class stared after then as Trelawney picked up the ball off the table and examined it. Then, quite embarrassingly, she blushed scarlet and dismissed the rest of the class. Once they were gone, she hurried over to her private cabinet and set the ball behind five or six identical balls.
"That's the last time I let Lavender and Parvati organize my room. To think they mixed up my dream balls with my crystal balls! That was never meant for anyone to see! Bless my soul! The humiliation of it all!" Trelawney shook her head, then and there vowing to never again put any of her dreams in a preservation ball again.
Meanwhile
When Ron finally caught up with Harry, he was sitting hunched over in front of the fire in the Gryffindor common room. Coming closer, Ron noticed how pale his friend was, but couldn't possibly think of what Harry might have seen to make him act in such a manner.
As he opened his mouth to ask, however, Harry cut him off, "You don't want to know, Ron. Trust me, you don't want to know."
Raising an eyebrow, Ron shrugged and took a seat in the chair next to him. A few minutes passed and Harry slowly recovered from whatever it was that was bothering him. Leaning back in his chair, he kept his eyes closed.
"Ron," he said, not moving, "Promise me something."
Looking at him, he nodded, "Alright."
Taking a deep breath, Harry looked his friend directly in the eye, "If I ever write an autobiography, never let Trelawney find out."
AUTHOR'S NOTE: I went through at least three different versions of this story before I finally decided on this idea, so I hope you like it! …I do anyway. Well, let me know what you think. Drop me a review! Thanks!