My Two Dads Chapter 4: An odd mission and Gaara's stupid gift
Me: Hello everyone! Welcome back to My Two Dads, the fan fiction that made male pregnancy make even a little sense.
Gaara: Nice motto. sarcasm sarcasm
Me: Any way, thank you all for being patient except you C.G. of Zyon, you were being an ass, but that's okay, you still reviewed and I'm happy! Plus! I need name suggestions for the baby!
Gaara: I don't get you.
Me: I'm a girl.
Gaara: -.-
Me: Another thing, I kept on forgetting about this, but I do not own Naruto for if I did, I would be the one flying away with Gaara on his little sand cloud thingy, not Lee.
Thinking: '...'
Speaking: "..."
Inner Sakura: "..."
Training was a bit different but relatively normal for the all too famous team 7 that day. Sakura was just throwing shuriken and being useless as always, Naruto was challenging someone, but this time it was Kakashi because he knew that Sasuke was still pissed from that morning, and Sasuke was just thinking about what he was going to do with the kid. The baby was just looking at the clouds while mumbling his newly learned words. Sasuke then moved the baby's head so he was looking at the Uchiha and pondered about what he was going to do.
"Hmmm, seeing as I can't possibly do any training with you around I'll train you." Said Sasuke as he rummaged through his backpack and pulled out and old but still relatively sharp.
He tossed the shuriken about five feet away from him and the baby. As he did so, the baby followed the shuriken's every move until he fell down from trying to bend his head backwards to see behind him.
"Well, you seem to age pretty fast. You already have a full head of hair." Said Sasuke as he ran his fingers through the baby's soft locks. "You can speak too, much to my dismay. Now lets see if you can walk."
Sasuke pointed to the shuriken that was only a short distance away and said "Go get the shuriken and bring it back to me."
The baby just looked at Sasuke and then touched his lip as if he were thinking about something. Sasuke just looked at the baby, as the baby did nothing but look like he was thinking as he cocked his head to both sides.
"What are you waiting for? Go get me the shuriken you stupid baby!" Said an obviously annoyed Sasuke.
The baby still did nothing.
"You. Go. Get. Me. The. Shuriken." Said Sasuke in an exaggerated tone as he made hand motions for every word.
The baby then slowly got up but fell down before even standing straight up. He let out a small whimper after hitting his butt on the ground. He tried many more times, but to no avail. Sasuke eventually found a pattern as he just sat there looking at the baby get up, fall down, cry, and get back up again. Over and over, just get up, fall down, cry, and get back up again. Sasuke the heard a voice call his name.
"SASUKE!" said the voice as it turned out to be Tsunade-sama.
"What do you want you crazy old bat?" Said Sasuke as he helped the baby stand up but then fall down again and cry.
"I have news for you, and I want you tell Gaara this when you see him again." Said Tsunade as she walked closer to Sasuke.
Sasuke scooped up the baby and carried him like a football over to the Godaime to hear what she had to say. Sasuke didn't even say a thing before Tsunade-sama started talking.
"I have decided to make raising this baby a mandatory mission for both you and Gaara. You and Gaara will be living together just for the record." Said Tsunade as she was patting the baby's head.
"Why do we need to live together and why did you make this a mission?" Question Sasuke.
"Well, it all started last night when you two left my office with the baby," Continued Tsunade "You had just left the building when Izumo and Kotetsu were being scolded for being caught in the utility closet together doing questionable things." Sasuke had a look of confusion and disgust on his face when he heard that, but Tsunade still continued.
"Anyway, as I was staring them down, they presented good evidence as to why it should be me being punished." Started Tsunade. Sasuke just started nodding to everything. "Well, any way they said that they knew that I let you two leave with a baby and then they said that you and Gaara would probably kill the poor thing before it even grew a month old. So, once I realized that they were right and gave them seven minutes to continue what they were doing before they go back to work, I decided to make taking care of that baby a mission that will be in full affect until you two die!"
Tsunade said all this with a smile on her face as if this was fantastic news that would make even the most tough and serious shinobi go "YAY!" Unfortunately, Sasuke saw this as punishment that the Godaime must've gotten from Itachi or even Satan himself.
"So, have fun, and don't forget to tell Gaara! Now continue to train!" Said Tsunade as she walked away from Sasuke and then ran all the way to what Sasuke suspected to be a bar.
Suddenly Sasuke heard a subtle but still loud thud. He turned and ran with the baby still in his hands. He stopped when he saw a bloody Kakashi, laughing Naruto, and fuming mad Sakura.
"What the hell?" Said Sasuke "What happened? Naruto couldn't have beaten Kakashi-sensei by himself."
Naruto slowly stopped laughing and then told Sasuke how he defeated Kakashi-sensei by using his "special" jutsu. Yes, none other than the infamous harem no jutsu. Sasuke just stared at him with a look of "you're stupid" plastered on his face. Before Sasuke knew it Naruto had a bump on his head the size of Mississippi.
"Argh! Naruto, you are so disgusting!" Yelled Sakura "Where do even get these jutsu?! No wonder you're a bad ninja."
Sakura then stomped away and started to go home.
"Did she accidentally shove a tampon up her ass this morning?" Said Naruto as he was rubbing the insanely huge bump on his head.
Sasuke internally snickered at the comment made by Naruto. He then walked off leaving Naruto and Kakashi there all by themselves. Naruto looked at the still unconscious Kakashi-sensei then at Sasuke and the baby who was now sleeping in Sasuke's arms, then at Kakashi, and at Sasuke once again.
"D'OH!" Yelled Naruto as he realized that he had to drag Kakashi home all by himself.
Once Sasuke got home he felt a strange disturbance, and it was that of another ninja. Sasuke quickly put the baby and a small bag he was carrying down on the table and grabbed a kunai and then got into a fighting stance. He looked around quickly trying to find the intruder until he felt someone squeeze his side making the ticklish Sasuke jump and let out a little squeal.
"I have something to tell you." Said the intruder as he had his mouth right next to Sasuke's ear.
Sasuke quickly turned around and saw that the intruder was Gaara.
"What do you want?" Said Sasuke in an all too unenthusiastic toned as he put away his kunai.
"Well hello to you too." Began Gaara "Anyway, Temari kicked me out of the house so I decided to stay here seeing as I am now a dad, I find it reasonable to stay with the mother and baby."
"Hold on, mother? How am I the mother?"
"Well, like the wife, you did all the work, and like the dad, I only helped."
"You suck you know that? You suck. Oh, before I forget, I bought you something. Once you take it out put it on immediately!"
Gaara picked up the bag that Sasuke had put down next to the baby and took out the shirt that Sasuke had bought. With out even looking at it he put it on.
"You bought me a Hawaiian print shirt." Said Gaara "Why did you buy me a Hawaiian print shirt?"
"Why?" Started Sasuke "To show you up for leaving me to put up with your kid that's why and you have fallen into my trap!"
"Trap? What kind of fucked up trap are you talking about? You bought me a shirt."
"Only big fat hairy tourists and gay guys wear Hawaiian shirts!"
"So you're saying that all because I am thin, not hairy, and a resident of Konoha means that I am a gay?"
"Yes!"
Gaara just took off the shirt and threw it at Sasuke's face and then sat down on the couch with a beer that he got from god knows where and turned on the TV. Sasuke just glared at him and threw the shirt away and sat down next to Gaara. Then out of nowhere Gaara leaned over a planted a big kiss on Sasuke's lips.
"What the hell?!" Said Sasuke as he pulled his head away from Gaara and tried to hide the fact that he was blushing madly.
"You never know. I might just be your Hawaiian print gay." Said Gaara as he planted another kiss on the dumbstruck Sasuke's lips.
Me: Well, I hope you all enjoyed this installment of My Two Dads.
Sasuke: You are sick.
Me: I'm a yaoi fan girl, whaddaya expect?
Sasuke: I demand a lawyer so I can sue you!
Me: Nope, can't do that.
Sasuke: Oh? Why not?
Me: Because I finally remembered a disclaimer!
Sasuke: .
Me: Review Review Review!