Before you read, some of these jokes are original (or not), some came from word of mouth from various sources. If I could cite credit, I would. Nevertheless, isn't it fun when it features our characters? READ at your own risk! Thank you guys for your ongoing support. Keep laughing! Enjoy!

Episode #14: "I've Never Seen A Deku Grill On The Roof!"

Short Story #1

A funeral service was being held at a church for Enji Todoroki who had recently passed away. At the conclusion of the service, family, friends, and fans of the fallen #1 Pro Hero watched as the pallbearers were carrying the casket out.

One of the pallbearers, Minoru, lost his grip after failing to wash his hands in the restroom, causing everyone to lose their balance — striking a wall!

All gasped as the casket jarred open.

"Hmm!"

The parishioners and the bereaved heard a faint moan. They opened the casket and saw that Enji was alive.

Enji retired from being a Pro Hero to dedicate his time with his wife and children. He lived for an additional ten years before peacefully passing away. Funeral services were held at the same church and at the end of the service, the same pallbearers were again carrying the casket.

As they were walking out, the cries of Touya and Rei were heard from the altar.

"Watch out for that damn wall!"

Short Story #2

Katsuki and Ochako Bakugo are a seasonally married couple. They are on vacation overseas and playing golf.

"Divot!" Ochako cried out as she hit a beautiful, long shot — right through the window of a house.

Horrified, the couple went to the house to apologize and offered to pay for damages. A tall, handsome man answered the door.

"Come in, come in!" he cried.

The couple, embarrassed by the smiling welcome, confessed to breaking the window.

The emerald-haired gentleman shook his head in disagreement. "I know, I know. And I'm pleased that you did."

Katsuki and Ochako exchanged confused glances.

"You see that urn?" The man continued, pointing to what had been an antique masterpiece but was now lying in pieces on the floor.

"Oh, no!" The round-face brunette cried. "Don't tell me that I've broken that too!"

"Don't be worried," said the man. "You see that I've been in that wretched urn for years and years. Eons to be honest!" He clapped his hands in sheer emotion. "I'm a genie and you have set me free!"

Ochako and Katsuki stared at him in amazement.

"Now," said the genie. "I have the power to grant three wishes. Why don't we share them. One each."

Turning to Ochako, the genie asked, "What is your greatest wish?"

"Well," she said hesitantly, "I would like to think I could have peace of mind and a quiet, calm life forever."

"Done!" The genie told her. "And what about you, sir?"

Katsuki didn't waste a minute to reply. "I would like to have enough money to live a life of total luxury, to be able to afford expensive cars, take super cruises and live in the best stateroom on the ship, and have a grand house — with servants!"

"Your wish is my command." The genie clapped his hands together. "And done!"

The husband looked extremely pleased by his request of luxury and revelry. "So, genie. What is your wish?"

The emerald-haired genie looked slightly embarrassed. "That's rather delicate actually." He then looked at Ochako. "If you don't mind, can I share a few minutes with your husband?"

"Not at all," she responded.

The genie thanked the wife as he and Katsuki stepped in the adjacent room — a study room. The genie closed the door and approached the husband. "You have a very lovely, beautiful wife. I know I shouldn't ask this and honestly it is a sin in most religions but my wish would be to spend just one night alone with your wife."

"What?" Katsuki was flabbergasted. "A night with my wife?!"

The genie blushed. "I know. Netorare is what you call it, my bad. I shouldn't have ever said that." The genie cursed under his breath for ever considering that forbidden request.

"Hey, look, Gene." Katsuki told the genius, already deciding to call him that out of convenience. "I am ecstatic that you have granted our wishes. Let me speak with my wife and see what she thinks."

"Naturally. Thank you for considering her." He told the husband. "Most would have swatted me back to hell or would have wished for a sexier wife."

"I'm not like most guys. Besides, netorase is quite common back in Japan."

A short time later, Katsuki and Ochako gave the proposition some thought and then she said the genie was, after all, giving them a lifetime of peace, security, and luxury. Maybe it wasn't that bad and not that big of a deal for just one night.

"If you're good with it, then I am good," said Katsuki.

"Actually," said Ochako with a smile, "he's not that ugly at all. Kind of gives me a cute bunny vibe."

"..." Katsuki raised his eyebrows.

"I mean," she blushed. "I am very happy to oblige to your request."

Katsuki stepped away and headed back to the hotel room to give Gene and Ochako their privacy. The night was wonderful and she hadn't had sex that great in years. She felt like a brand new virgin.

The night came and went without incident. The next day as he lay in bed and Ochako prepared to head back to the hotel, Gene said to her, "I really want to thank you. I've had a marvelous time with you and judging by the soaked sheets and cries that sounded like banshees, you quite enjoyed it too."

"Oh, I did," said the wife.

"Please," Gene said, "Do you mind if I ask you just one question? How old is your husband?"

"Forty-three!"

At that moment, the genie raised his eyebrows. "And he still believes in genies?"

Short Story #3

It was the spring of 1957 and Kota Izumi went to pick up his date, Eri Shouta. He thought of himself as a hip guy with his own car. When he went to the front door, the girl's father, Shouta.

"Eri isn't ready yet. Why don't you have a seat," responded her father, smoking his large cigar.

As he took a seat, Shouta asked him what they were planning to do tonight. Kota replied politely that they would probably go to the soda shop for root beer floats and go to a drive-in movie.

"Why don't you two go and out and screw? I hear all the kids are doing it!"

Naturally, this came out as a surprised for the teen so he asked Mr. Aizawa could he please repeat himself.

"Yeah," said Eri's father. "Eri really likes to screw. She'll screw all night if we let her!"

"Really?"

"She'll screw in the kitchen, on the floor. Heck, even in the bathroom."

"Really?" he said, showing further excitement by the tone of his voice.

"She'll screw by herself or even with some of her girlfriends!"

"Wow, that sounds like a party!"

"Just last week, she screwed for the boys soccer team at their championship. They really appreciated her encouragement."

A few moments later, Eri came downstairs in her little poodle skirt and announced that she was ready to go. Almost breathless with anticipation, Kota escorted his date out the front door.

About twenty minutes later, Eri rushed back into the house, slammed the door behind her, and screamed at her father.

"Dad, it's called the twist!"

Short Story #4

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead — Pony, Kinoko, and Itsuka all work at the same Hero Agency for Ryuko Tatsuma who always went home early.

"Hey, girls," said Kinoko, "let's go home early tomorrow. She'll never know, shroom!"

So the next day, they all left right after their boss did. Kinoko got some extra gardening done with her mushroom farm, Itsuka went to a bar, and Pony went home to find her husband having sex with Ryuko! She quietly snuck out of the house and went back at her normal time.

The next day, Kinoko said to the group, "That was fun, shroom! We should do it again sometime."

"No way," said Pony. "I almost got caught!"

Short Story #5

Eri, Kota, and Satsuki were at their elementary school as it was Parents Day. As they were with their guardians, each had a certain story to tell to them.

"Auntie Shino," said Kota. "When I was on the bus with Uncle Keigo after school, he told me to give up my seat to a lady."

Shino smiled pleasantly. "Well, you've done the right thing."

"But, Auntie. I was sitting on Uncle's lap the entire time."

Eri looked at her surrogate mother, Emi and asked, "Mommy, why can't I go swimming in the sea?"

"Because there are sharks in the sea, sweetheart," responded Eri.

"Well, Daddy gets to go swimming in the sea," cried Eri.

"That's different. He's insured!"

Satsuki looked at her mother, who had an unpleasant look on her face. "Why are you upset, Mommy?"

"That brother of yours told me yesterday that our sparrow died and he had just buried him."

"That would explain the dug-up dirt in the backyard," said Satsuki. "Wait a minute? That's an awfully big hole for a sparrow, isn't it?"

"That's because the sparrow was inside of your cat!"

Short Story #6 (A follow up from Chapter 5, Short Story #4)

A little kid got onto a city bus and sat right behind the driver. He started yelling, "If my dad was a bull and my mom was a cow, I would be a little bull."

The bus driver started getting mad at the noisy kid, who continued with, "If my dad was an elephant and my mom was an elephant, I would be a little elephant."

The kid went on naming several animals until the bus driver got angry and yelled at the kid, "What if your father was gay and your mother was a crossdressing nun?"

The kid smiled and said, "I would be a bus driver!"

Short Story #7

Ten-year-old Izuku and his class were having a spelling test. Kayama-sensei asked if anyone can use the word "admire" in a sentence.

Tenya raised his hand and said, "I admire my dog."

"Good job," Kayama-sensei replied, "Now, who can use 'respect' in a sentence?"

Izuku raised his hand and said, "I respect Tenya for admiring his dog."

"Ok, " replied Kayama-sensei, "now who can use the word 'dictate' in a sentence?"

There was silence in the class, then all of a sudden Minoru said, "Hey, Asui. How did my dictate!?"

Short Story #8

Little Icchan loved to gamble. One day, his father gets a new job, so his family has to move to a new city. Izuku's father thought, "I'll get a head start on Icchan's gambling."

He called the teacher, Kayama-sensei and said, "My son Izuku Midoriya will be starting your class tomorrow, but he likes to gamble, so you'll have to keep an eye on him."

Kayama-sensei responded, "Okay," because she can handle it.

The next day, Izuku walked into class and handed the teacher an apple and said, "Hi, my name is Izuku Midoriya."

She said, "Yes, I know who you are."

He smiled and said, "I bet you $10 you've got a mole on your butt."

She believed that she would break his little gambling problem, so she took him up on the bet. She pulled down her leotard, showed him her butt, and there was no mole.

That afternoon, Izuku went home and told his father that he lost $10 to the teacher and explained why. His father called the teacher and said, "Izuku said that he bet you that you had a mole on your butt and he lost."

Kayama-sensei replied, "Yeah, and I think I broke his gambling problem."

Izuku's father laughed and said, "No you didn't, he bet me $100 this morning that he'd see your ass before the day was over."

Short Story #9

Children Shouto and Fuyumi were in their bedroom when a unanimous decision was made. "You know what?" said Fuyumi, "I think it's time we started swearing. When we go downstairs for breakfast, I'll swear first, then you."

"Okay," replied Shouto.

In the kitchen, when the mother asked the elder sister what she wanted for breakfast, she answered, "I'll have Cocoa Puffs, bee-yotch!"

She was met with a slap to the face by her mother's fiery hands. She went flying out of his chair, crying her eyes out.

The mother looked at Shouto & sternly asked, "And what do you want?"

"Dunno," he replied nervously as she was holding the tea kettle, "But it won't be fucking Cocoa Puffs."

Short Story #10

Little Kacchan got a toy plane. The boy loved his plane. He flew it all over the house.

One day, he was in the living room with his plane while his mom, Mitsuki, was in the kitchen washing dishes. She listened to her son playing and heard him say, "Vroom, vroom, vroom. All you motherfucking people want to get on, get on. All you motherfucking people want to get off, get off."

Angry, his mom rushed into the living room, took the plane away, and sent him into his room. After 15 minutes, she started to feel bad and told the boy, "If you don't use that kind of language, you can play with your plane."

Kacchan returned to the living room, his mom to the kitchen. She listened again to her son playing, she heard him say, "Vroom, vroom, vroom. All you very nice people want to get on, get on. All you very nice people want to get off, get off. If you have a problem with a 15 minute delay, you can go talk to the bitch in the kitchen!"

Short Story #11

Minoru went home one night with an American girl named Melissa he met at a club. She was tall, super hot, and seemed different from most girls he meets.

They arrived at her place and headed straight to her room. Minoru couldn't help but notice a shelf full of teddy bears.

On the bottom were small teddy bears, on the middle were medium-sized teddy bears, and finally, on the top were large teddy bears, all lined up beside each other.

He began to think that Melissa was sentimental and sweet, and wasn't afraid to show it. His heart melted and he wanted to give her the best night of her life.

He gave her cunnilingus and really gave it his all to the American.

In the morning, he slowly got dressed, smiled at her and asked, "How was that?"

"The thirty seconds of sex or the two hours of crying?"

"Well…how was it?"

She nodded and said, "It was…well…sex! Help yourself to a prize on the third shelf!"