Sounds emanating from the kitchen woke Sam from a dream filled with distorted images. Memories clashed with fantasies, both leaving behind a tremor of regret and remorse that haunted her mercilessly.

A soft whistling floated into her room, and she couldn't help but smile. He had stayed. Frowning at the implication it presented, she hoped he was simply acting the 'concerned commanding officer' and nothing more. She wasn't sure she could deal with anything more right now.

Part of her was worried that he would assume the worst. That she had let her emotions take control and the 'flu' was actually a byproduct of her grief. He had never accused her of such a thing before, but that didn't mean he hadn't thought it. She remembered far too well his response to her when Daniel had died. He told her it was a part of life.

Snorting at the oxymoron, Sam decided to set the record straight. She had to know why he was here, why he had come. Usually he would send Daniel or even Teal'c, why not this time? What had changed?

She stepped into the adjoined bathroom and then took a long, comforting shower. Cleansed and somewhat refreshed, she combed her hair and put on a clean outfit. She bent over to slip on her shoes, but the effort caused her coughing to return. Finally able to breath again, she decided to forgo the shoes and just go barefoot. She left the room; slightly nervous at what she might find waiting for her. The first thing she noticed was the couch. It had been tidied up and all the tissues and empty water bottles were gone.

"Hey, you're up! Shower works wonders, huh? You hungry? I've managed to scrounge up enough ingredients to make a fairly decent pot of soup."

Choking back the tears at his thoughtfulness, she nodded and walked into her spotless kitchen. He'd obviously spent his time cleaning her house, since there were no traces of the mess she had made over the past two days. A quiet buzzing from the far end of the house alerted her that the dryer was turning off.

"You did my laundry?" She asked astonished.

"Uh, yeah. Well, some of the stuff was kinda potent, so I thought I'd just go ahead and take care of it. Is that a problem?"

His lack of embarrassment unnerved her. He had basically played the maid for the last six hours, with no sense of annoyance. In fact, he seemed fine with it; comfortable, even.

"Carter?"

"Oh, sorry sir, uh no, no problem." She mumbled quietly, and sat in a chair at the table.

"Okay, so you feeling any better? You slept well." Jack conversed while he filled two bowls with soup.

"You were out pretty soundly, didn't even stir when I dropped a couple of pans on the floor."

"I didn't? How do you—oh! You checked on me?" Sam's timid voice questioned him.

Sitting down, he placed a bowl in front of her and handed her a spoon. He cleared his throat and answered, "Yeah, wanted to make sure I hadn't scared the living daylights out of you. Also checked your temperature to see if your fever had broken yet."

"Oh." She stared at the contents of the bowl, not able to think of anything else to say.

"Carter, what's up? You're acting like I did something wrong. Was I out of line?"

His statement was her undoing. Tears welled up and spilled over, droplets splashing into her soup. She tried to hide her face behind her hands, but Jack pulled them away gently.

"Sam, I'm sorry. Maybe I should have sent Teal'c, he seems to be better at this with you…"

Shaking her head, she sobbed, "No, it's just too much! I know you're trying to help, but you shouldn't be here. Not you."

Confused and a little hurt, he asked, "Why not me?"

"You know why!" She yelled, jerking her hands from his grip. She stood up suddenly, but the abrupt motion caused her to stumble. Jack reached her in time to catch her fall. He wrapped his arms around her protectively and held her to his chest.

"I know, but I need to be here." He murmured in her hair.

Pulling back slightly to see his face, she started to ask him why but saw the answer in his dark eyes. Not willing to break the connection, she stared unashamedly at him.

"Sam." His voice was so soft that she didn't hear the sound, only felt the breath on her face. She closed her eyes and parted her lips slightly, sending the invitation.

For a brief moment she stood there waiting. When nothing happened, she opened her eyes and saw the turmoil he was in. His eyes showed evident desire, but his jaw was firmly set. Bowing her head in acceptance, she backed out of his embrace and sat down dejectedly on the couch.

She shook her head, and muttered sadly, "I'm sorry, sir. I should never-"

"Carter, it was as much me as you." Jack seated himself beside her with a safe distance between them. "I should go."

"No!" Sam disagreed forcibly, "It's fine, and we're fine. We are still friends, right? Just because I overreacted a little, it doesn't mean you have to leave."

She glanced at the kitchen table and added gently, "Besides, I've yet to taste your soup."

He shrugged his shoulders and then stood to his feet. "Fine, after lunch then."

She accepted his offered hand of help and rose unsteadily to stand in front of him. Giving his hand an extra squeeze, she followed him to the table. She waited for him to take the first bite. His grin of approval at his cooking skills was enough to relax them both.

She smiled, and said softly, "Thank you sir, for everything. You've gone way above the call of duty."

Jack cleared his throat and put his spoon down in the bowl. Folding his hands, he replied with a frown.

"No, I haven't. If anything, I've been neglecting it. I shouldn't have waited so long to check on you. I let my personal feelings disrupt my normal command decisions. If it had been Danny or Teal'c, I would have been here yesterday. Heck, I wouldn't have let them get so worn out that they'd get sick!"

Laughing caustically, he added, angry with himself, "Hell, I've been sending Daniel home every night at nineteen hundred hours, even followed him a couple of times, just to make sure he went."

He swallowed a lump of emotion and gritted his teeth. "I should have done the same with you."

"You couldn't. I wouldn't have let you. I made my choices and now I have to live with them." Sam blinked back the tears and forced herself to remain in control.

Confused and slightly irked by her explanation, he asked, "What's that supposed to mean?"

Taking a deep breath, she answered calmly, "I chose to leave my position. I chose to put your life above hers. I chose to—" she broke off, attempting to regain her composure.

"Carter, there was nothing, and I mean NOTHING you could have done to prevent it from happening. We were all under fire. They were way out of our range and had a team covering them at their position. From what Wells told me, it was a stray shot. She wasn't the target. Daniel confirmed it with the airman covering them; the Jaffa was aiming at him."

"But still, I –"

"No, you couldn't. You have got to get it into your head that you had no control over what happened. None. "

Realizing he'd snapped at her, he toned down his voice and said softly, if somewhat embarrassed, "As for leaving your position, well, it probably saved my life."

Stunned by his admission, she whispered, "How?"

Jack cleared his throat and replied evenly, "I heard you."

"What?" Sam began to tremble as she processed what he had said.

"I heard you, when you called for me."

"Oh." She sighed, slightly relieved by his statement. Gripping his hands so tight that his knuckles were white, he added mutely, "and when you checked my wound."

Sam inhaled a gasp, which caused her to cough again, but then subsided quickly. She managed to choke out, "No!"

"Yeah. That's why I shouldn't be here. I know it's cowardly, but it's how it has to be."

He stood up and grabbed his coat the hung by the front door. Reaching for the knob, he half turned and muttered sadly, "I'm sorry, I gotta go."

He opened the door and exited the house, leaving Sam still at the table, unable to move or speak.

She heard the engine of his truck turn over and then the squeal of the tires as he pulled away from the curb. She dropped her head into her hands and sobbed loudly. She had shattered the one rule she'd sworn never to break.

o0o

Continues...