Awakening

Disclaimer: I wish that I owned DN Angel, because then Satoshi would be my property, and for his well being could not arrest me! Because he's going to want to arrest me after reading this.

Warning: Rated PG-13 for yaoi suggestion and touching. SatoKrad (though Satoshi is not happy about it )

This is much more angsty and dark than my last fic, but I'm trying to do different types of fiction. If the POV confuses you, please tell me, becasue I'm not quite sure how this is going to work. I tried to make it where it was obvious who was thinking what.Please R&R. Any constructive thoughts would be appreciated. Flaming and bashing, not so much.

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Five-year-old Satoshi Hikari didn't know the names of the roads, but his photographic memory could not- and would not- let him forget the way he had gone. So, wearing nothing but ablue short sleeved shirt, a pair of gray pants, and athin black jacket, he ran through the cold darkness, making rights or lefts when he saw the dull white of the curbs in the moonlight.

Normally, nothing short of a natural disaster would have sent him out into the bitter cold of January at night, leaving the warm bed and bright lights behind him. But, that night, Satoshi was not himself. He had gone of his own accord on what he thought was a crazy impulse. Usually, he wouldn't even walk near the bleak cemetery that was the resting place of his ancient family. But here he was, running towards it when he had been there only yesterday.

But some childish desires inside of him, feelings that had been shadowed the day before, were breaking down. He didn't think that, though- he only knew he wanted to see his mother again. Or at least, where she rested.

Not that she was any different then the rest of her kin. She had been a proud woman, quiet and firm. But, despite her detachment, he had loved her. Satoshi missed that feeling of protection he had received from seeing her even across the room. He had suffered the whole last night and day alone, feeling vulnerable, young, and weak all in the same moments.

When he saw the familiar outline of the looming graveyard walls, he stopped to take a moment to rest. He leaned against the wall, his physically unfit body crying out at the suddenly doing things like a running a mile in the cold. He willed his breaths to lighten, and for his heartbeat to slow down. When he was calm, he made himself presentable. Putting an emotionless mask even she couldn't have rebuked, he pushed open the gates.

There was a streetlight near the far corner of the graveyard, and it was bright enough to illuminate the pathways around the tombstones. He took a path to his right, away from the light, towards the newest part of the cemetery.

All the stones bore the name Hikari, but he didn't have to guess which one was hers since he knew her first name. When he got close to where she had been buried, he reached out like he was blind, tracing the characters of the tombstones delicately with his fingers.

Finally, he came upon the characters for his mother's name, Midori Hikari. With a small sigh, he collapsed on the pathway in front of the freshly turned earth. He had found her.

Somehow, sitting there on the cold ground, the tips of his fingers brushing the upturned earth, and his eyes seeing the form of his mothers last memorial,he realized that he had not come with a specific purpose in mind. He looked at the ground, feeling stupid.

What was I thinking, coming here? What could I do? Me being here will not bring Mother back- nothing will bring her back…

Nothing will bring her back.

This small phrase, an utterance that would have only lasted seconds on his lips, violently tore down everything he had been taught. The feelings he had felt the day before, the ones he had kept locked in a stone tomb, broke free. His mask fell off his face, and his body moved of his own accord. His fists clenched together, and his face contorted in sadness. A pitifully suppressed sob broke the silence, and for a moment Satoshi couldn't believe it had come from him.

He didn't understand what this saddness could do, or even why he had kept his emotions hidden. His mother had tried to tell him, with her dying words, but she didn't finish in time. So, Satoshi gave into to the overpowering emotions.

His sobs racked his whole body, and he couldn't breath. It only came in short, powerful gasps. For a moment, the moment was entirely his own, his sadness not touching any otherthinking thing. He was just a five-year-old boy, finally breaking down at the loss of his mother and at the shock of being the last of all his family. But, it was only a moment.

With the dam ofSatoshi'semotions caving inward, so did the dam wherehis inner demon resided. The demon, Krad, was awakened by the sound of a crying child. He adjusted his eyes towhat he thought was disgustingdarkness, and wondered what was happening. He projected his form out to the outside world, expecting to see Rio Hikari, his last Tamer.

The scene he came out to surprised him. He did not see his Rio, or anything else for that matter. He was in the Hikari cemetery, in the middle of January, at night. The only thing breaking the silence besides the cold wind was the sobs of the child he had before. He felt connected to the sadness, as if it were his own.

Then, he remembered that Rio had been killed, leaving a wife and an unborn child. He assumed that the only Hikari left, Midori,(Rio and Midori had been fourth cousins)had awakened him, at least him in his spirit form.

He looked at the grave, expecting to see Rio's name, but instead saw the name Midori Hikari. For the second time that evening, he was surprised. Besides her, there were no other Hikari for him to watch over. Unless…

Tracing the sounds, he looked down to find a young boy sitting on the ground, his sobs growing softer then they had been moments before. Upon looking at him, he felt that fusion of mind that he always felt when he saw his Tamers for the first time.

So, he mused, he must be my new host. Must be Rio's son. He was surprised to see such a young boy as his host.It's unusual for them to awaken me this early in their lives.

The boy, who must have noticed the ethereal glow to his right, looked up at Krad. Looking embarrassed and angry with himself, he quickly stood up. When he was standing, he looked up directly at Krad. The boy's indignant face changed to a look of fear, and he took a step back, an old instinct that dated back to the first Hikari telling him to back away.

Every time, they all try to get away.

Krad, though his presence brought illumination to most things around him, the boy's face was shadowed enough to make Krad kneel down to the boy's height. The boy looked away, butKrad merely put his palms on his wet cheeks, and turned his face towards him.

Krad collected himself before he could reveal his emotions. The boy was, to say the least, perhaps one of his more interesting Tamers yet. Hecouldn't bebarely older then six, and Krad thought he was to young to be leaving his nanny's lap, let alone running around at night in a cemetery. He was tall for his age, but very skinny. He had a neat head of pale blue hair, in his eyessince he had been looking down at the ground. He was pale, as if the sun had never touched his skin. He looked like a normal five or six year old child, albeit a sheltered one

But, his eyes told a different story. They were deep, reflecting his great intelligence back at those wise and knowledgeable enough to see it. His thoughts could be seen like the rising and falling of licking flames, like a blue fire suspended in an icy chamber. The pupils of his eyes were an azure blue, while the surrounding it was a bright turquoise.

Krad took one of the boys hand, and turned it to where he could see his hand and wrist. His blue veins created intricate patterns up his arm, but a few of his fingers had red spots he immediately recognized as calluses. The boy had already had pencils and brushes in his hands, and had created art with them frequently.

He was beautiful and perfect, almost too perfect. Like the boy had walked out of Picasso's The Tragedy, just like Krad had come out his own portrait.

"Who are you?" the boy asked, his voice quavering. Krad noticed his voice was as blue as his eyes.

"I am Krad. Who are you?"

Recognition came to his face, as clearly as if he had wrote, "He must be the curse of the Hikari" above his head.

"Satoshi Hika-" he stopped, looking towards the tombstone. "No, that was my last name before. I'm not sure anymore." His face lost its composure, for a moment, and then turned back to normal.

"Are you here because of Mother?"

Krad regarded him carefully, wondering if the boy was trying to trick him. The shocked look in his eyes made Krad believe he was not.

"Do you really know nothing about me, Satoshi-sama?" He put on a pursed lip smile, but Satoshi did not smile back. Two deep pools of fear were forming in his eyes.

"Mother said I wouldn't have to worry about you till I was fourteen," he said, though now he didn't sound convinced.He struggled against Krad's grip on his hands, as if he could run from Krad, and not see him again till he was fourteen.

Krad kept a firm grip on Satoshi. When Satoshi gave up, Krad spoke. "I am here because you called me."

Satoshi glared. "I did not."

"What broughtme to this world was a calling, a calling I feel becasue of the love, I assume, you had for your mother.A strange way to awaken, but I'm here the same."

"But I'm only five!" Krad thoughtit was becoming an interesting sort of conversation. His new Tamer was full of surprises. But Satoshi did not look so happy. His pupils had contracted, and he was trembling slightly.

"Your motherlied to, since she probably thought you to young to handle this much information. But, I will not lie to you Satoshi-sama, unless it benefits me." His smile had grown wider, and his golden eyes had taken on a sadistic glint.

Satoshi was scared into silence.

"I," said Krad, "awaken when you feel attached to something or someone else."

"Else?" He didn't recognize that emotion in Krad's voice, because of his young age. But, his intuituion was warning him. WhenSatoshi felt the pressure of Krad trying to bring his face closer to his, he grabbed Krad's wrists and tried to pull them away.

Krad only brought them close enough to where both of them could see the glints and shades of their eyes, which were the only things that betrayed their emotions."Someone else besides me, I mean."

Satoshi stood dumbly for a few moments, the information sinking in. When it did, his thoughts reeled. He pulled himself from Krad's grasp, and tried to run away, but he didn't go but a few feet.Krad grabbed him from behind and held him up like a young girl holding a doll. His chin rested between Satoshi's neck and shoulder.

"That was not smart, Satoshi-sama." He sent a tendril of pain to him, and by the cry, Satoshi had felt it. He slumped over, shaking violentlyin pain. "You cannot run away from me. Not now, or ever."

"Why?" Satoshi asked, the suppressed tears obvious in his voice.

"Because now, we are all each other has. Perhaps you do not understand now, but soon you shall understand. Just as you are everything to me, I will someday be everything to you. Because all you shall have is me."

Satoshi tried to wiggle free, but Krad only held him tighter in his arms.

"Until you turn fourteen, I shall stay contained in your mind. But, then, your body will be able to bear the strain of transforming into me, and then you and I shall be sharing a body as well as a mind."

"The fate of the Hikaris," said Satoshi sadly, his thoughts somewhere very far away from him. Krad angrily clutched Satoshi to him tighter, nearly breaking his ribs in his attempt to bring Satoshi back out of his pensive thoughts he knew were about Midori Hikari

"Yes, Satoshi-sama, but it needn't be a bad one, if you only listen to me."

He dropped Satoshi on the ground, and when he scrambled up and ran off, Krad didn't stop him.After all,he was actually still in his mind anyways. He watched him go, his smile growing in a perversefeeling of accomplishment. He had never encountered a host that was unaware of the conditions of having him. He decided that he liked them being ignorant of him, because from the beginning he got to be the cause of their pain.

Which, of course, he enjoyed more then anything.

Satoshi woke up, his bare body shivering against the cold. He looked over, and was relieved to not see Krad there. He turned back over when he remembered he had woken up because of his dream. No, not a dream, thought Satoshi, a nightmare.

But, with having Krad for the past nine years, his sleep had always been plagued by nightmares.

It was not that horrible, Satoshi-sama, Satoshi heard echo in his head. He tried to ignore it, praying Krad would just go back to sleep. He tensed when he felt the pressure of the bed go down, as if someone had just gotten in it. Much to his disgust, he felt Krad's arms coil around his waist. He tried to move from Krad's hold, but he couldn't.

Your definition of horrible and my definition of horrible are two different things.

I know it wasn't horrible ,because it was me thinking it.I was just being nostalgic. He felt Krad pull him closer, and he felt Krad's chest on his back. Satoshi shuddered, and tried to get away. Again, he couldn't. He had never been able to get away.

Nostalgic? That's not like you, thought Satoshi snidely, angry at his weakness.

Satoshi stiffened as he felt Krad hug him even tighter, and some of Krad's hair fell on Satoshi's shoulder. "Ah, but I couldn't help it," he said out loud, the breath hot on the nape of Satoshi's neck. He felt Krad's lips curl into a smile from their place on his skin. "I was just thinking about the first time I met you."

--------- Please R&R