Intense cold penetrated the leathered skin of her left palm as her fingers twitched to keep from becoming numb. The movement generating a twinge of pain through the nerve endings as they protested the severe, frigid surface where they lay.
His face was still. Preserved within his icy coffin. It was so unlike him. Normally he would hide his true feelings behind a stone-faced façade or sarcastic retort. The wry grin he so often used, could deceive even those who knew him best into thinking they knew his true thoughts.
But they would be wrong. No one knew them except himself and he kept those thoughts guarded behind a barrier even more impenetrable than the one that held him now.
Sam stared unabashedly into his unseeing eyes. Any other time, in any other circumstance she would never had done this. Would not have permitted herself the luxury of memorizing his every feature. Unwelcome images of a Goa'uld force field caused her eyes to mist and she blinked quickly to clear them, without removing her gaze from his motionless face.
Usually he had enough nervous energy to power the Stargate to Othalla, eighth chevron included, without any need from the capacitors or his hand-made backup source. His eyes never stopped scanning, searching, watching, and warning. They said it all.
But not now.
Now there was nothing. No movement. No life. His empty stare from within the ice only made it harder to accept. If his eyes were closed, she could at least pretend that he was merely asleep.
Behind her, she could hear the muffled whispers of her teammates, as they tried to allow her a few moments alone with him. She appreciated the gesture, but it did nothing to ease the ache in her hand or in her heart. They wanted to leave him.
She had sworn to herself it wouldn't happen. She would die first, rather than turning her back on him again. She'd made the mistake before, had trusted others to take care of him. She had nearly lost him then. She refused to do it again.
The sound of shuffling feet and a cleared throat alerted her that 'they' were going to leave. She would stay. There simply was no other way, no other option. No plan B.
If he could speak now, he would probably have argued with her. But he would have lost. Colonel or not, she would disobey his orders. She'd disregard the chain of command, the regulations and the rules she had lived by for most of her life.
Not even the President could make her leave.
No one gets left behind.
o0o
Part One"Sam, we have to go."
Daniel's gentle voice barely registered with her. Her mind, along with her hand had become numb.
"No."
"Sam, please. We can't do anything from here. I'll need to get the references in order to translate this, if I can."
"No, I won't leave him here alone. He deserves more than that." Defiance echoed through her voice, even as the words were barely breathed from her lips.
A hand gently touched her shoulder as Daniel answered. "Yes, he does. But, as much as I hate it, we have to follow orders."
Sam shrugged his hand off and stated firmly, "Fine, you go ahead. I'm staying."
"You can't. I can't. We have to go. He will be here when we get back."
Tearing her gaze away from his frozen form, she glared into Daniel's eyes with an intensity that he had never seen from her before. From Jack, yes, but never Sam. He was grateful when she turned back to the ice.
"He would want us to go." Daniel tried to use Jack's protective nature against her wounded heart.
"No, he wouldn't. And before you try to argue, you know very well he would stay for us. He always did." She could feel her anger bubbling up within her and hoped she could control it.
"Sam, this isn't up to me. It's not up to you. We have been ordered to get back, we can't stay."
"I won't leave." Unbidden, tears slipped down her cheeks as a dark hand was placed over her own on the ice.
"SamanthaCarter, we must contact the Asgard and let them know what has transpired. I assure you that we will return to this place once again."
Sniffing quietly, Sam shook her head. "I can't go."
"Then I ask your forgiveness."
Without waiting for her question, he placed his right hand on her neck and pinched quickly.
Shock flashed in her eyes before they rolled back and closed as she slipped into unconsciousness.
o0o
Muted voices filtered through her semi-conscious mind and she recognized them as her teammates. Keeping her eyes closed, she listened closely to their conversation.
"You didn't have to do that." Daniel's slightly annoyed tone conveyed his disapproval.
"Indeed I did. She would not have left willingly and I did not wish to inflict the pain of the Zat'nikatel."
"You could have just grabbed her." The younger man stated with a huff.
Sam could almost hear Teal'c tilt his head before responding. "It would not have been wise to attempt to remove her. She is quite capable of defending herself. I have no doubt we both would have suffered injury from the action."
"Yeah, well, not that I'm disagreeing with you there, but really, the Vulcan Nerve Pinch? How did you know it would even work?"
Sam barely controlled the smirk as she feigned sleep, waiting for the Jaffa to answer.
"I have performed it on several unsuspecting subjects and it is quite useful in disabling them without injury."
Forgoing the ruse, Sam sat up slowly and interjected. "Maybe it is, but it leaves one heck of a sore muscle. Not to mention the bruise I'm going to be sporting for the next few days. So, anyone going to tell me where we are, or am I in timeout for bad behavior?"
Her friends came to stand beside her as she sat on the pallet in the sleep quarters of a Tel'tac.
"Sam, how are you feeling?"
"Peachy, Daniel, just peachy. And Teal'c, if you ever do that again, you'll wish you had Junior back to fix you."
The pair exchanged glances before staring at Sam.
"What? Do I have bed head or something? Why are you staring at me?"
"MajorCarter, are you certain you are well?"
"Um, yeah Sam, you're not exactly acting…" Daniel's sentence trailed off when he received the full force glare from her.
"Like what? Like myself? Like an Air Force Officer or the good little soldier I normally am? Well, guess what, I'm not. I am not that person anymore. I never will be." The fierceness of her words dwindled as tears spilt down her face and onto her trembling hands.
"Sam, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have…"
Sam cut him off as she stood angrily to her feet and came face to face with him.
"Shouldn't have what? Forced me to leave him there? Let him stick his head in that damn machine? What? What exactly are you sorry for Daniel, because I sure as hell want to know! By all means, let's apologize for how we all screwed up!"
"Sam - "
"Don't! Just…don't. Don't even try to explain the logic behind it, because I really just don't care!" Tears flowed freely down her cheeks and she moved to wipe them away, but stopped suddenly.
"Sam, you okay?"
"MajorCarter, are you injured?"
Stunned, Sam stared at her left hand as she felt a rush of tingles like an electrical current pulsing through it.
o0o
"Sam?" Daniel asked, peering at her curiously. "Sam, is your hand okay?"
Disoriented, she barely registered the questions directed at her. "What? Oh, sorry, no I'm fine, just fine."
She brushed the moisture from her face with her other hand and sat back down, resting against the wall of the ship. She held the affected hand to her chest protectively.
"Are you sure? You were extremely ticked off a minute ago." His concern mounted as he saw her eyes widen in confusion.
"I was?" Pausing for a moment, Sam answered, "Oh right, well, I guess I did go a little overboard. I'm sorry if I was out of line."
"Out of line? Sam, you were irate. You don't remember?" Daniel sat down next to her and tentatively reached his hand out to touch her cradled hand.
"Don't!" She pulled away from him, shielding the limb.
"MajorCarter, I believe it would be wise to examine your injury. You are behaving irrationally and should most certainly seek medical attention."
Teal'c stepped toward her, but was halted by the look of terror on her face.
"Please don't! Just leave me alone. I'm fine. It's fine. Just don't touch me."
"Sam, we only want to help. Tell us what is wrong, we won't hurt you."
The soothing tone of Daniel's voice seemed to flow over her and she visible relaxed.
"I don't know." Her words choke out with a sob. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."
"For what do you apologize? You have committed no offence. DanielJackson and I only wish to assist you with whatever is disturbing you."
With a shake of her head, she seemed to shift moods. "I'm fine, T, don't worry. It's just a tingle, nothing to fret about, really. It'll be fine in no time."
"Uh, Sam - "
"O'Neill?" Teal'c interrupted Daniel's inquiry.
"Yeah?" The response came from Sam's lips, but with the inflection of another.
Daniel jumped to his feet and away from her. "What is going on here?"
Trembling, Sam held out her afflicted hand to stare at it in amazement, before her eyes rolled back and her body slowly slid sideways along the wall, landing on the pallet, limp with sleep.
"Uh, Teal'c, what just happened?" The bespectacled man asked, gazing at Sam's unconscious form.
"I do not know for certain, but it appears that MajorCarter is inhabited by O'Neill.
o0o