Enlightenment
Disclaimer: Hey, if I owned them this wouldn't be fiction, okay?
Spoilers: Post-5x12 Snakes
Summary: Sara's confession causes Grissom to have an epiphany of sorts.
It had been two weeks. Two weeks since Sara's impromptu confession about her feelings for him, two weeks since she revealed her true reasons for moving to Vegas. Two weeks since what he had inwardly come to know as "The Talk", the turning point in their relationship that had left him motionless and speech-impaired for a good five minutes after she left, and which had succeeded in doing what so few things could; utterly confounding him.
Why do you think I moved to Vegas?
God, things had been going so… He didn't want to say well. But for once their avoidance of each other hadn't been intentional, and he had almost managed to delude himself that they had reverted to their previous friendship, and had escaped the nightmare that was the last two years.
Sara's softly confident admission had not only brought all of those carefully repressed emotions back to the surface, they had made him realise his motivations for changing so much this last year had not been simply for restoring their broken friendship, they were because he was… ready for… something with her.
He didn't know exactly when things shifted, but somehow his priorities had changed.
When Sara had spoken to him, he got the feeling she had been attempting to cleanse herself of something, that she felt confident enough to tell him those things because she was finally letting go.
Let's just say that… sometimes I look for validation in inappropriate places.
It was perhaps that moment he realised he had been unconsciously preparing himself for something more… for some time now. He stared at her, unblinkingly, unable to conceal his surprise and disappointment.
He was having his big moment of enlightenment… and she was letting go.
Grissom had never been less eloquent than when she was around. He wanted… to somehow communicate to her the sudden clarity with which he had been struck… but she was already gently dismissing him of any further obligations, forgiving him for being unable to say what she might have needed to hear, or preventing him for uttering yet another rejection.
The old Grissom would have been relieved. But now… he wasn't satisfied with being content anymore.
It was nearing the end of shift, and he was methodically working his way through the paperwork on his desk, a looming pile that had not even remotely dwindled since he lost three members of his shift.
Sighing, he lowered his glasses, wearily rubbing the bridge of his nose, knowing that any further work would be impossible right now. It occurred to him that he never used to leave shift early. Just another change in his work ethic.
Work was not as fulfilling as it once was. Ecklie had made sure of that.
He drew in another deep breath, firmly bunching together the unfinished papers in a pile that was slightly less chaotic than its previous state, and rose to his feet.
The lab was quiet, as it usually was just before shift change, and Grissom realised he hadn't seen any of his people all night. Retrieving his jacket, he switched off the lights and locked the door to his office, starting slowly for the exit.
The parking lot was a dim, hazish glow of pre-morning sun, and the sprawling Strip and surrounding suburbia were visible on the distant horizon.
Grissom turned towards his Denali, which he had been forced to park a little further from the entrance than he would have liked, and his blue eyes were riveted to a familiar brunette like a beacon, just as she paused in front of her car.
She had her back to him, and he stopped briefly on the sidewalk, watching her with a conflicted, voyeuristic pleasure before he came to a decision, and stepped off the curb with some sense of renewed purpose.
"Sara".
Sara turned at the soft, low-timbered voice that she had once relished softening over her name. She blinked, fixing her sunglasses vaguely on her head as her gaze met Grissom's gaze slowly.
He was watching her with some sort of unguarded caution that made her hesitate. She had hoped… her confession would make her feel lighter, somehow, but it didn't. She didn't feel any less bound to him or her feelings for him, even if it did feel good to know he stood here and he knew.
That conversation had been the most honest they had ever been and it was… refreshing. But not freeing, like she'd hoped it to be.
She gazed him over briefly. Was it her, or did he come to work lately especially attractive just to torture her? He was dressed yet again in a black leather jacket and dark button-up shirt, and his salt and pepper curls were gelled in a slightly tamer state.
He was obviously on his way home too, but if this had been something as simple as a goodbye then he wouldn't have stopped here.
"Uh, hi", she said hesitantly. She had her handbag open and ready for her keys on her forearm, and she slowly lowered it, keeping her gaze on his watchfully.
Grissom swallowed, seeming to hesitate himself.
"I want to talk to you about something".
She frowned slightly. Did she do something wrong on one of her cases?
"Oh", she said slowly. "Okay. Is this about work?"
Work was their comfort zone. Work was always their comfort zone. Particularly after she crossed some unspoken of line in their personal lives.
He didn't waver his gaze, but he looked… awkward. She cursed herself for finding his earnestness endearing. "No. It's not about work".
When did they ever not talk about work? Certainly not unless she initiated it. Unless he was… worried about her.
She didn't say anything, just watched him uncertainty as he struggled to formulate the correct words.
"I've been… thinking about a lot of things", he started quietly.
Sara stared at him with undisguisable surprise and wariness fighting for preference over her face. "Okay", she said tentatively.
He tilted his head slightly, as if gauging her emotions. She was starting to feel… completely thrown. What was he… trying to say to her? What had he been thinking about?
"When Ecklie split up the team… it made me… re-evaluate a few things, you might say. How important work really was to me. I realised… that I'd based my whole life around something that Ecklie decimated in five minutes. And I also realised… that it didn't destroy me like I thought it would".
Sara didn't think she'd ever heard Grissom utter such a personal revelation before and for some strange, irrational moment, she thought maybe he was trying to tell her he was dying. Because the alternative… was just too inconceivable.
She furrowed her brow. "Grissom… what are you…?"
He took a step closer to her, slowly shaking his head. "Sara, just… listen, okay? I've realised… these last few months… that some things have to change. There are things I've put on hold, or ignored, for my job, and its time I stop doing it. When you spoke to me the other day…"
Sara swallowed. "Grissom, I—"
"Shh. What you said… it made me think that I haven't really made an effort to change these things at all. And there's one thing in particular… that I've been ignoring for some time now, that I would like to try."
Sara blinked up the short distance he was taller than her, still unable to quite believe what he was suggesting. She had to be misreading this whole situation.
"Us?" she whispered doubtfully.
He studied her face carefully. "If you still… want to".
Sara thought she might be going into shock. There was no other way to describe how she was feeling right then. How typical would it be if she fainted when such a significant moment in her life was happening right then.
Her mouth opened and closed wordlessly. "Grissom, are you… I mean it's just… Do you…"
She frowned, struggling to find the right words, flailing her hands wildly.
Grissom stopped her vain quest for words by dipping his head to meet hers, softly caressing her lips with his own, warm hands sliding firmly over her cheek to stop her panicked movements.
Sara could hear her heart thundering in her chest as his soft, gentle lips slowly claimed possession of hers, conveying his sincerity in a way no words ever could. The sensation was unbelievable. They could always stimulate each other with simple, innocent touch, but the thrill invoked from the culmination of years of pent-up longing sent every nerve ending in her body on fire.
She responded to him slowly, eyes fluttering closed, knowing that each of them was savouring the moment inexplicably. The soft hairs of his beard tickled her skin and made her shiver involuntarily and release a deep gasp when he slowly drew away.
"Wow", she said softly, eyes darting over his disbelievingly as he stared back at her, still cupping her cheek. She looked down, licking her lips shakily. "Who, uh, knew you were so good at that".
A small smile tugged at his lips, and she realised he wasn't hiding it any more. He wanted something with her.
"Okay?" he questioned, breath tickling her lips.
Sara swallowed hoarsely, unable to convey the depth of complex emotion running through her at that moment. "Yeah. I think I am".
She tilted her head, and he met her silent plea, this time kissing her with all of the passion he had held-back before. Hs other hand slid over the dip of her waist, and the handbag on her arm slid slowly to the ground, allowing her fingers to tangle with the hair at the nape of his neck. She relaxed her slender frame into him, and for the first time in too long, thought that she really might be okay.
Catherine and Warrick slowly descended the crime lab stairs, both bone-tired and cranky after working overtime to wrap up their case, much to Ecklie's satisfaction.
Warrick slid on his shades from the impending day, and Catherine's bad mood grew even more pronounced when she realised she'd left hers.
She scowled as they reached the sidewalk, flicking her blonde hair idly over one shoulder. "I hope Ecklie's happy about this", she grunted, turning to Warrick irritably.
The younger CSI's unique blue-green eyes were hidden behind his dark sunglasses, but she thoughts they might reflect similar annoyance.
"Are you kidding?" he said unhappily. "The guy wouldn't know how to do it".
Catherine snorted. "Yeah, well, he better just…"
Her eyes caught something over Warrick's shoulder and she cut herself off, features abolished of all anger as her mouth cracked into a sudden, blinding smile.
Warrick gazed down at her, taken aback by the sudden mood shift, and frowned at her cluelessly. "What? What's so funny?"
Catherine wordlessly clasped his arm, whirling him around to see the source of her grin.
Warrick lowered his glasses, blinking at the sight across the parking lot, and his mouth opened into a gaping grin.
Grissom and Sara stood near her car, mindless to their surroundings as they engaged in a pretty passionate kiss.
"No… way".
Catherine was still grinning. She chuckled in shock. "It's about damn time".
Warrick glanced at her. "Are you kidding? Ecklie'll have a field day if he sees this."
She shrugged, smiling indulgently. "Let them have their moment".
She patted him on the arm, starting for her car, which she had managed to park right out the front of the lab.
Warrick frowned slightly, remaining dubiously on the sidewalk, watching her go with mounting disbelief.
"Uh, you know… my car's over there."
FIN