Lily Evans awoke to a ray of crisp, bright sunshine beaming on her face, and the sweet chirping of morning doves. Her sleepy green eyes traveled across the dormitory she was in—her own of course. Being Head girl came with certain privileges.
She stretched, loosening her muscles, and immediately stopped when the dizziness came. She flopped on to her side, and stared out of the window. The sky was a clear, crystal blue, indicating that it was right after dawn. Lily frowned; it was early to be awake. If only she could fall asleep again…
Her throat and mouth felt as if some deity she had slighted decided to sandpaper them—and had done so with utmost precision. She winced, and decided that a drink of water was in short order. She heaved herself out of bed, and shuddering at the cold slabs of stone underneath her feet, walked over to the pitcher of water beside her window. She poured her self a cup, and drank greedily. Once she set it down again, and looked out the window, only the staleness on the corners of her vision whispered that she had been sleepy.
The grounds on mornings like these were breathtaking, alright. The sun was right above the horizon, beautiful, majestic, and crowning. The grass, just soaked from the morning dew, was light and springy, and the lake, shining like all the diamonds in the South African mines. The mountains too were tall, standing like guards. She smiled at the sight. There was no place like Hogwarts.
She sighed, raising her fingertips to the lightly frosted glass. Winter was setting in, and after that, just six more short months, she would be out of Hogwart's protecting walls forever. Well, the N.E.W.T.s were coming up as well, and any self-respecting seventh year was cramming for them—herself included—but the terrifying thought of the outside world scared her most of all.
Even equipped with a Hogwart's education, first-rate O.W.L. scores and, hopefully, decent N.E.W.T. ones too, she still felt exposed, ill-prepared, and completely vulnerable. She was only a little Muggle-born, and still, even after these past seven years, wondered if she would ever compare to a full-blooded wizard. Not academically, of course, but with the connections and opportunities they knew in the Wizarding World. There, she was still largely a stranger.
And she didn't even want to consider James. Yes, James Potter, Quidditch all-star, and resident fathead—until now. Oh, he was still quite the spectacular Chaser—as good as they come, in fact—and until this year, had always made his romantic interest in her quite clear but not so now. Now, he and his friends had stopped being little pigheaded jerks and actually sat down and studied. And to add to that, James showed absolutely no interest in her. She had been praying for this all along (either that he stop being a jerk, or stop liking her) and both happened. Just when he had sobered down and become likeable—he completely stopped doting on her.
She sighed, disgusted with herself. What was she, a beggar, who needed a man's attention? Well, she didn't. And hell would freeze over when she asked for James' attention.
Well, she had to figure out her path now, while she still had the time, recourses, and wits about her. She had plans to become a healer, and with Voldemort wreaking pandemonium all over Europe, they were in short supply and high in demand.
She absently cast her vibrant green eyes over the grounds, chewing her lip, wondering uncertainly about her future, while the world fell apart under her feet…and then she saw it.
A majestic white stag, cantering across the grounds, head held high, white fur shining in the early morning light. Normally, she would have just noted the presence and admired the beauty—but something told her this was something more—mush more. The force was intangible, elusive, like putting a lost name to a long forgotten face, or remembering the words to a tune. It was barely beyond her brilliant mind's reach.
But the creature was so beautiful. Lily held her breath, afraid to move, knowing it would just disappear out of sight. But it didn't; it stopped right below Lily window, and gazed up at it with solemn eyes.
Forgetting modesty, Lily threw the window open and clambered on to the edge, her shoulders bare but for thin straps that held her gown up, her eyes shining, and her brilliant hair whipping around her ivory skin.
"Stay right there," she called down to it, tamping down on the ridiculous aspect of talking to an animal that probably didn't understand; but Lily knew that animals could understand, and the stag was just too pretty to let go. "I'm coming, so don't go."
She leapt of the ledge, and tore out of her nightgown, opting for heavy jeans and a serviceable sweater. She threw on her cloak as an afterthought, and rushed out of the dormitory. She flew through the school and on her way out, pocketed two apples from the great hall. She all but tore the doors from their hinges, ran down the stairs and sprinted out into the early November snow. She ran wildly around, staring about for the animal that had captivated her so—no, it went beyond that…
The stag was nowhere to be found; half-an-hour of searching told her that much—she gave up hope. Each step in the grass told her that, maybe, she had simply imagined it—that there was no such thing as the stag…
Her shoulders slumped dejectedly and she slowly turned and headed towards Hogwarts.
8888888
James was restless.
That was the only way to describe it. He hadn't gotten to sleep until late that night, and neither, he suspected had his friends. They all stayed up at nights now. Voldemort was on a bloody rampage, and every day, more heartbreaking news of people found dead, tortured to insanity, kidnapped came to unwilling ears. Nobody really got much sleep anymore.
He tossed and turned restlessly; replaying the conversation he'd had with his friends the night before. He winced. They meant half the world to him. He knew it was selfish, but the need to put them away, keep them away from the destruction was too much. In their nightly debates and discussions, where each of them said their share, one thing was always left unsaid—if the situation called for it, each and every one of them would give his life for the other. If anything, it was a sobering thought.
Stifling a cry of frustration, James threw his covers back, and surged to his feet. The room seemed too small, somehow. The walls started to close in on him.
He hurried out of his dormitory and made short work and leaving the castle. It seemed barren, someway, devoid of life. Once outside, he transformed into his second form—the stag. Suddenly, all the problems he'd been mulling over flew away as he started to canter, then gallop across the lands. Nothing was as freeing as running like the wind itself, with the lands around him turned into blurs, when the whistling sound of the wind became his only companion on his journey to the stars…
He ran for a few hours—or perhaps it was minutes—and stopped under Lily's window. His ears flicked forward.
Ah, Lily. Well, she was a lost cause now—especially after last year on the train station when she had screamed viciously for him to keep away from her. He had them officially marked the case closed. Although he tried to mask it, her words hurt. She was still beautiful, and now, unreachable. She was the northern star, an unapproachable, beatific vision, but always in sight. To kill him slowly on the inside, or to guide him, he wasn't sure.
And there she was. He watched silently as she finished off her glass and gazed listlessly out of her window, expression troubled, and her perfect white teeth biting her lower lip. She glanced at the ground and caught sight of him. Her eyes lit up and she threw the window open. "Stay right there. I'm coming, so don't go." She voice was soft as rose petals, light and lilting carrying over to him. And her sight—she was a goddess…
But somehow her message became garbled in the wind and he heard only her voice telling his something unfathomable. He shook his head. She's never going to be yours, idiot. Get over it. And yet he still stood below her window, yearning for another glance at his goddess. When he realized what he was doing—with a sharp jolt of anger—he turned jerkily away and cantered for a few hundred yards—and then he saw her.
She cast a sorrowful glance at the surrounding woods and with her shoulders slumped.
His heart leapt. She had come down! He cantered over to her, and lipped her shoulder.
She spun around instantly, stars lighting in her eyes.
"Oh—I knew you weren't only a figment of my imagination!" She smiled with genuine pleasure. James felt his heart catch.
She took his face in her hands, stroking the fur gently. "Do you live on the grounds?" The animal part of his warmed to her touch; the human part's heart sped up.
No, not on the grounds, but in the school. You know me, but I bet you'd rather not, eh?
She stoked his cheek, smiling at him. He memorized it. This was probably the only time she would ever smile at him, with such admiration and kindness. "You're very beautiful."
No, you are. You're stunning, marvelous, gorgeous, and breathtaking, the list goes on and on…
She cocked her head to one side, regarding him quizzically. "You remind me of someone…very vaguely, though."
Who? If you saw anyone besides 'James Potter' I'll kill him. Out of pure spite.
"I really can't put my finger on it though…"
Put your finger on it already!
"I wonder…"
I'd really appreciate it if you'd finish wondering…
"Oh, I got it!"
Who? Who?! WHO!?
She stroked his mane gently. "It's James Potter, I think."
Yes! Wait—does this form remind people of me this easily?
She laughed merrily. "You don't even know who that is, do you? Well, he's not a stag, for one thing. And it's not like you look like him or anything…I guess it's the way you carry yourself. It's just like he does."
If he was human he would have smiled.
Lily, you have no idea. And are you reading my mind or something…?
She reached into her pocket and drew an apple out. "Here. Eat this."
He lurched foreword and munched happily. He butted her gently. Did she have another one?
She did. Laughing, she fed it to him.
After he finished, "So, what should I call you, my wonderful stag?"
Prongs!—or something along those lines, but you wouldn't know anything about that, now, would you?
"Nothing describes you correctly," she said, mulling over something. An icy breeze whipped itself around them. She wrapped her arms around herself, shivering. She glanced at the sky, and back at him. "I had better be getting back to school. I have yet to shower and there's and essay waiting for me to revise it." She flashed him another smile. "Care to escort a lady home?"
He nodded his head vigorously, prompting another sweet laugh from her. They started moving towards the main doors, Lily said, "You remind more and more of Potter." She blushed. "Sorry, meant James." She thought a moment.
"You know," she started, "I had a crush on him once, way back, around first year, I think. But I got over it when I found out what a jerk her could be. But he asked me out a lot…" she trailed off.
You had a crush on me? How come I didn't know of this!?
With new strength in her voice, she added, "But I turned him down every time, you know. He's been an arrogant fathead." She sighed, and looked down. "But you know, I said some really nasty things to him a while back, things I didn't really mean…at all. I said them though—and it's kind of impossible to take them back." Her shoulders slumped and a bitter smile twisted her lips. "But you know, the irony of it all kills me. He's changed, you see, and it's most definitely for the better, which is something I'd been praying for. It was either that or him leaving me alone. I always wanted one or the other—never both, but guess what happened? He's a decent person now—and I don't know what to think anymore—and he shows no interest in me. The roles have been reversed. And heaven help me if I ever ask him out—and I wont." She glanced ahead. Suddenly, she blushed. "You've got to give him some credit, though: he's awfully cute! Oh, look, we're almost at the door!" She turned, hugged his neck, and then skipped up the steps.
At the door, she waved, "Goodbye, my wonderful stag! I hope we meet again." She gave him one last smile, and hurried inside.
James, dazed, mind spinning, slowly, jerkily walked towards the Forbidden forest. Unable to comprehend what Lily had just told him. He walked.
Slowly, everything she had said, every word that had fallen form those perfect coral lips made sense. It was like a balm—the medicine he had needed most, for a wound he hadn't even known he'd had. Every piece fit.
He transformed hack into his human form, and stared at the castle, all of his thoughts coming together.
There's…hope…?
The thought was hesitant, timid, but as it went over and over in his head, he believed it. Lily liked him—he liked Lily—but the only things holding them back were flimsy, self-made barriers!
He leapt into the air, pure joy emanating form his being. "YYYYYesss!"
He thought of her parting words.
Oh, we will meet again, my Lily-flower. I'll make sure of it!
8888888
The bell rang, signaling the end of charms. Lily smiled to herself, smoothing her paper and book out. She stood; ready to gather then together when James came to stand next to her. Her heart began hammering, but her face remained cool as cucumber.
"Uh, Lily—"he began. "I realize that maybe our past relationship hasn't been one of friends."
She smoothed out her essay with stiff fingers. She had written the end of it this morning, her thoughts full of James and the stag. That time seemed so far away. She didn't have his scent in her nose and her eyes full of him then.
"And?" she asked.
"Well," he said slowly, "things were said and done, but I regret them. Do you?"
Only every time I breathe.
She glanced away, squaring her jaw. If he was being honest, why shouldn't she?
"A—bit," she said jerkily.
His mouth curled into a smile.
"What say we let bygones be bygones, then?"
Her eyes shot up to meet his. "I don't—"
"I'm not an arrogant fathead anymore, Lily. I'm sorry for everything I've done and said—well most of it, anyway—and I'd like a chance to redeem myself in your eyes." He gave her an apologetic smile. "Forgive me?"
One smile and Lily was gone.
Her mind screamed that it was pathetic to be won over like this—but she didn't listen. And something told her she wouldn't be listening to that annoyingly logical part of her mind for a long time.
Her lips curled up in a tiny grin. "I guess I've got to ask for forgiveness as well." His face broke into a huge smile. "But!" It dropped a tiny bit. "You've got to prove to me that you don't strut around like an overconfident cur, understood?"
His smile was back, and Lily felt an irrepressible desire to kiss him.
"Crystal," he said easily.
He smiled.
She smiled.
And that's how everything began—well, the romantic part of it, anyway.
Author's Blurb: Hey everyone! I know I've been lazy on the update front lately—but this was something I wrote shortly after the fifth book came out, and found it today while I was cleaning. I just typed it up—well, I tweaked it a little bit—and voila! Have fun reading it, and review!