Thanks to:
LadyEvils – I never thought of Scott changing gender, but now you've suggested it I think I'll use it! Thanks for the idea.
Furygrrl – Send me my monthly booze ration and I'll not only send constant updates, I'll also dance on tables and sing badly! Did you think I was going on a Jott kick? Not likely. I got the idea for this chapter off the list you sent, so enjoy!
Lyranfan – The iron will be a recurring theme, in any universe Scott has no clue when it comes to buying pressies. And you guessed one of my secret characters for an upcoming chapter! Won't be up for a few days though.
Rogue14 – If the last chapter was weird, just check this one out, lol. I managed to get over my problems with the site and figured I'd try something else humorous.
Raphaella – That's how I talk when I'm drunk (except with more "sherioushly dude, I love you!" in there) and I thought I'd put it in. I was rather taken with the idea of a naked Scott running the Institute too!
Tara – Hope this chapter is up soon enough for you! I do worry if I'm funny, so it was nice to get praise for it.
A. Ceretta – I just tried to think of the item I least wanted for xmas and there was the iron – hell, I barely use the one I already have! I'm having fun with this fic so far and I'm glad you are too.
Enfant-terrible – Hope things have gotten better for you at home. I'm glad you liked it! Scott with an intimate piercing just seemed so wrong, I had to put it in there!
Disclaimer: Santa baby, slip some X-Men under the tree, for me…
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Scott awoke and didn't dare open his eyes in spite of his protective night-glasses. The last adventures he'd been through were still fresh in his mind, the whole 'penal piercing' too scary for him to even check.
He had his arm around some one.
He moved his hand and examined the other person carefully. Slim, girlish hips. That was a start. Jean had slim girlish hips. Soft skin. That was good too. Obviously a great deal of attention to moisturiser. Encouraged, Scott let his hand trail lower.
That was when he encountered balls.
"Fuck!"
Scott had never been much of a swearer, but he felt pushed to it. He opened his eyes wide as he tried to propel himself backward. The boy he shared a bed with was familiar…
"What's wrong lover?"
Scott gulped. "Puh…Pietro?"
"You were expecting Jean Grey maybe?" Pietro pushed his hair out of his eyes.
"Pietro?"
"What's wrong?" Pietro looked concerned. "Oh my god, is my hair a mess?" A second later he was stood in front of the mirror, checking himself out.
"What the hell am I doing here?"
"Don't ask me." Pietro turned back to him, pouting and naked. "I thought you wanted to get back to the mansion before anyone knew you were gone. Guess you fell asleep."
"I'm due back at the mansion?" Scott thought about it for a moment. "Hells bells, Logan's gonna kill me!"
"Of course, you could always move in here, with the Brotherhood." Pietro made an attempt to bat his eyelashes and Scott shuddered.
"I don't think that's wise."
"You can be such a bummer," said Pietro. "But I forgive you."
"Uh…" Scott tried to remember that he could blow up the world if he said the wrong thing. "How long have we been…"
"Eight months!" Pietro spun on the spot and Scott tried not to look at his wildly flapping dick. "Eight glorious months. I know you have a problem with anniversaries, but you could remember our eight-month anniversary! I made oysters! And I bought chocolate sauce and you know how hard it is to get that stuff out of my sheets!"
"GAAH! Uh, I mean, oh yeah." Scott wanted to get the hell away from the conversation. "Well I guess I ought to get back to the Institute."
"Sure you don't wanna stick around? I'll make it worth your while!"
"Uh, no. Thanks." Scott tried hard to remember that he couldn't let Pietro know he was from another dimension or he might blow up the world, but it was difficult when the boy was stark naked in front of him and trying to talk him into bed.
Pietro sighed and pulled his pants on. "I'll take you home."
"You have a car?"
"You're such a tease!" Pietro threw Scott's clothes at him and waited for the X-Man to get dressed before picking him up and speeding out of the house.
I'm never gonna live this one down thought Scott as he shut his eyes. For one thing he was easily six inches taller than Quicksilver and they made a strange looking couple.
"We're here!" Pietro stopped abruptly outside the Institute gates and deposited Scott back on the ground. The New Recruits were outside having a training session and giggled when they saw the pair.
"Uh, thanks Pietro." Scott rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. "I guess I'll see you later…"
Without warning, Pietro wrapped his arms around Scott and stuck his tongue down the boy's throat.
Scott immediately panicked and disentangled himself. "People are watching!"
"You're so cute when you act all shy!" With a coy wave, Pietro sped off to the Brotherhood house, leaving Scott to face the X-Men.
With a sigh, he pushed open the gates and heard the New Recruits begin cheering.
"Way to go Scott!"
"When's the wedding?"
"You're so cute when you're all shy!"
"Alright, back to training." Logan shooed the sniggering teens away. "Must you two do that in front of the kids?"
"Uh, sorry," muttered Scott, embarrassed beyond belief.
Logan gave him a funny look. "Are you feeling alright? You're not acting as camp as usual."
Thinking quickly, Scott assumed the campiest pose he could think of, including cocked hand. "I'm just peachy Logan." He hurried toward the mansion before he could get himself into any more trouble.
"Where the hell did my camp alternate leave his car keys?" Scott rifled through the drawers in his bedroom but turned up empty. "I guess I'll just have to walk to Forge's house."
He walked out of the room and ran straight into Jean and Rogue.
"Don't tell me," said Jean as she took in his somewhat dishevelled appearance. "Pietro forgave you the whole 'iron for Christmas' thing and you spent all night with him again."
"Well yeah, it was a rather – wait, why are you two holding hands?"
"Well duh, we're in love," said Rogue rolling her eyes. "At least we don't feel the need to have our hands on each others butts while we walk around the mall, unlike you and your boyfriend."
Scott wanted to shudder at the image, then realised exactly what Rogue had said. "You mean you two are gay?"
Jean and Rogue exchanged glances. "Are you sure you're feeling OK?" asked Rogue.
"Of course we're gay," added Jean. "That's usually how it works."
"Can I watch?"
Scott realised his mistake about two seconds after the words left his mouth, by which time it was too late to take them back. Jean narrowed her eyes and telekinetically lifted him up, hurling him backward against the bedroom door. Scott lay in a heap on the floor, groaning softly as the girls stormed off.
"Gotta find Forge," he muttered as he got to his feet. A world where he had to sleep with Pietro was not a good place to stay.
Although…Crushing the thought, he hurried out of the mansion and to Forge's place, banging on the door to get the other boys attention.
"Scott?" Forge was still wearing the reindeer sweater, proving that Forge had no dress sense in any universe. "What are you doing here?"
"I have to explain this again? I'm from an alternate universe and it was your gizmo that sent me here, via a universe where Rogue and me were in video porn. You have to get me home!"
"I knew that thing would work!" Forge let Scott into the house. "You mean you're from a world where you're dating Rogue?"
"No! I'm dating Jean!"
"Wow. Weird." Forge went out of the room to get his gun. Scott eyed the machine suspiciously. "Set it to girlfriend. Think you can get me back to the right world this time?"
"I'm sure I'll do it right eventually."
"Eventually? You'd better not send me to a world where I'm dating Fred!"
"You'd better not be dating Fred," said Forge with a sniff. "He's all mine!"
Scott was still screaming at the thought when Forge shot the gun at him and he vanished in a flash of blue light.