Thanks to

Todd Fan – Glad I could make your day!

Zula – Your suggestion coming up in a few chapters!

LadyEvils – I was hoping to find Lance and Logan under my Xmas tree but they weren't there ::sobs loudly:: I'd forgotten that Forge liked the iron! Damn!

Heartsyhawk – If he ever gets back to his own dimension he'll probably need a ton of therapy, hee hee!

TheDreamerLady – Evil Forge is pretty cool, lol. And his revenge is right here!

Miss Myxztipic – This soon enough?

Archmagus – Scott's in BIG trouble! ::cackles wildly:: No bondage here, but there is some coming up in a future chapter!

Rogue14 – More Gambit? I'll see what I can do! And as to your fave chapter, your review actually gave me an idea as to its ending so enjoy!

Shield-Maiden – This chapter's much longer and you're right – no one should turn down Forge!

A. Ceretta – Lance is gonna show up pretty soon and I'm looking forward to doing the Emma chapter – I've got a few ideas about that one!

Firefly25 – Oh thank you! You've given me some fabulous ideas for future chapters! At least one of the names on your list will be Scott's love interest and several others will be showing up…

Furygrrl – The image of Lance and Logan makes me surprisingly happy ::perverted grin:: And the image of Fred and Scott doing the Macarena was too good not to use!

Telepathic Angel – I always thought the funniest fics were the takes on characters love lives which is why I use the idea for humour!

DragonMaster02 – Thanks! This soon enough for ya?

Author Note: I've just begun another fic called 'And I Feel Fine' which is about the end of the population and life as we know it. It's not a humour fic (obviously) but don't let that put you off - check it out!

Disclaimer: None of the characters are mine, although the depraved situations they find them in are all the work of my sick mind.

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Scott kept his eyes tightly closed as he willed his surroundings to be back to normal when he opened them. He hadn't liked the look on Forge's face when he fired that gun…

"Are you gonna lie there all day bub?"

"Sorry Logan," muttered Scott, wondering why the man was always so damn quiet. He hadn't even heard him come in.

Opening his eyes, Scott sat up and stretched, his gaze falling on Logan. A very naked Logan.

"GAAAAAH!"

Logan gave him a startled look. "What's got into you?"

"Nothing, nothing at all." Scott tried very hard not to look at anything Logan had out on display.

"Good, because you and me have a long weekend ahead of us."

"Huh?"

"I've got the motorbike full of gas, the tent's all packed and we won't have to baby-sit the kids for three days." Logan scratched the back of his neck and looked at the floor. "I know a great place. It's, you know, romantic."

"Oh good." Scott tried to smile.

"A chance to be away from the kids, they don't have nearly enough training sessions."

"Damn right," agreed Scott with feeling.

"And we don't have to try to keep the noise down anymore."

Scott widened his eyes in horror.

"So get up, get showered and let's hit the road."

"Right!" Scott got up quickly, grabbed a towel and wrapped it around his waist, getting out of the room as fast as he could.

"This is not happening, this is not happening…"

"Talking to yourself again Scott?"

Scott looked up and saw Jean in front of him. "Uh, hey Jean."

"Ready for your trip with Logan?"

"Looks like it," muttered Scott.

"I think it's sweet, the two of you finally admitting how you felt about each other. Everyone could see you two were meant for each other, the way he was so protective of you, the way you kept checking out his ass…"

"Jean, I need to ask you a favour." Scott glanced down at the towel and sighed. No pants again. "I need to sneak out of the mansion for a while. Can you help me?"

"You're going to buy him a present, aren't you?" Jean clasped her hands together and sighed. "It's so romantic. If only Wanda was as romantic as you two are, I'd be a happy woman."

"Yeah, I'm gonna buy – wait, you and Wanda?"

Jean looked defensive. "I know what you're going to say. Yeah, we got back together last night. She promised to stop stalking Duncan and hexing him all the time and I'm going to be more understanding about her problems."

"Problems? She's a psycho!"

"I thought you wanted my help."

"I do. Wanda, very nice girl, looks great in a pair of leather pants, you and she make a great couple."

"Thank you. Go get your present, I'll tell Logan you had to run an errand for the Professor."

"You're the best Jean." Scott ran out of the mansion, wondering if Jean hadn't noticed he was only wearing a towel or if it was an acceptable code of dress in this dimension.

The snow still lay on the ground outside and Scott debated going back to the mansion. Then he realised he might have to spend the weekend in the wilderness with Logan on a romantic getaway and changed his mind. Instead he pulled his towel tighter and hurried away to Forge's house.

He hammered on the door of the house, wondering how many times he'd have to do this before he could get home and strangle the Forge that had sent him on this journey in the first place.

"Scott?" Forge opened the door and gave Scott a puzzled look. "What are you doing here? I thought you were going away with Logan today?"

"That's what everyone thinks." Scott pushed his way inside before anyone else in Bayville could see his bare legs. Duncan had followed him for a mile, hooting the car horn and laughing. It was only when Scott decided to cut through the park that he'd managed to lose his former love rival.

"You were really looking forward to it," said Forge with a frown. "It's all you've talked about for the past week. You said you were going to spend the first few hours sat on…"

"ENOUGH!" Scott shuddered at all the possible endings to the sentence he could think of. "Look, I'm from an alternate dimension and you used your gun to send me here and now Logan thinks I'm going to spend a weekend in the forest with him and he's scary when he's aroused!"

"I knew that thing would work!" Forge grinned widely.

"It doesn't work very well! You were supposed to send me into one alternate dimension for a few hours. This is the ninth!"

"Did you get to the dimension you wanted?"

"Well yes, but it was a big let-down."

"Then it worked."

"But I need to get home before Logan tracks me down!"

"Are you sure? Because the alternate you told me some great things about his techniques."

"I'm sure. I'm very sure!"

"Fine then." Forge began fiddling with the gun and Scott fidgeted impatiently, sure that at any moment Logan would show up, throw him over his shoulder and carry him off into the woods.

"What are you doing sweetheart?"

Scott frowned at the voice coming from the stairs. It sounded somehow familiar but he couldn't immediately place it.

"I'm just getting ready to shoot Scott," Forge called back.

"Scott's here? I thought he was going away with Logan this weekend."

Some one walked into the room. Scott looked up and shrieked, snatching at the trans-dimensional device heedlessly. "Gimme the gun! Gimme the gun!"

"Scott, wait, don't touch that…"

There was a flash of blue light and Scott was suddenly absent from the room.

Sabretooth put an arm around Forge, who was gazing down at the gun. "He's such a nice boy isn't he? Maybe we should invite him and Logan over for canapés."

Forge shook his head, the gun still smoking. "Logan's gonna disembowel me for this."

"Don't worry lover," replied Sabretooth supportively. "I won't let him hurt you."