Small Troubles

by WSJ & HCG

WSJ: ; Well, it took awhile, but here it is.

Kaze: *stares* You're all trying to kill me, aren't you?

WSJ: Of course not! ...We just love you a little too much.

Kaze: *dryly* And of course authoresses express their love through torture. Joy.

HCG: It's the only way we know how to express our love for you super-cool characters.

WSJ: *giggles* I always felt sorry for poor Roland... Kaiba (in any realm) is always so mean to him... XD

HCG: I have a feeling Kaze'd be relatively nice normally, Roland just decided to pop in on a REALLY BAAAAAD day for poor poor Kaze. XD.

Kaze: � I'm beginning to hate you both.

Disclaimer: YGO belongs to Kazuki Takahashi. HCG owns the Negative Realm and all related theories. Damon and Horus belong to WSJ, and Naosu's particular personality belongs to Ebony Kuroneko. Loff!

()()()()()

And so it was that Kaze and Pegasus had to herd four chibis (and one Naosu) through the base to the carport. Needless to say, it took awhile. Saguru had to go to the bathroom again, Naosu had to chase Kaeru out of a heating duct (indeed, Naosu was the only one small enough to chase him out), and Damon started whining that he never left the base without Horus. It took nearly ten minutes for Kaze and Pegasus to convince him that he'd just have to leave the bird behind this time. In the end, Kaze had to pick him up and carry him kicking and screaming toward the garage.

When they finally reached it, they found a sheepish looking Roland. "I'm sorry sir; but there's going to be a small delay... The transport we had arranged is, um... too small for all of you. We're in the process of finding a larger one as we speak."

Kaze just sighed, tucking Damon under one arm. "Fine, fine..."

They didn't have to wait long. Within a few minutes a larger vehicle rolled in, driven by a random agent. The chibis started squealing and bouncing as soon as they saw it, and Pegasus doubled over in laughter. Kaze just tried very hard not to swear.

In the True Realm there is a movie known as Daddy Daycare. It was never made in the Negative Realm, which is a shame, because what rolled in those doors would have been perfect for the movie. It was a mini-van, painted in the most bizarre patchwork of colors imaginable. Smack on both sides and the hood was the Kaiba Corporation logo in bright pink. Very noticeable.

Kaze's eye began twitching as the van pulled to a stop and all the chibis started hopping up and down and yelling happily. Damon seemed to have quite forgotten about Horus, and he was wiggling rather violently, so Kaze sighed and let him down.

Leaving Pegasus to keep an eye on the children, Kaze turned toward Roland. "What the hell is that?!" Since the chibis were currently occupied with worshipping the van, they didn't comment on his use of language. This time.

Roland coughed slightly. "It's the mini-van from our daycare center."

"Daycare center?! We have a daycare center?!?"

"Yes sir, for the workers' children. And now for those four monsters." He pointed at the chibis, who were now scrambling all over the inside of the van, yelling at each other as they tried to claim seats. Pegasus was sitting on his butt on the ground, still laughing himself sick. "It's the only thing big enough to get you all to the airport."

Kaze sighed, wondering if it was too late to wave the white flag. No! What was he thinking? He couldn't do that! But with the chibis it was awful tempting... "Give me those keys before I decide to fire you anyway."

"Yessir!" Roland handed over a pair of keys dangling from a Teletubbies keychain. "And you don't leave milk in the car with the windows rolled up, don't park in the sun or the seats will get too hot, and no juice unless it's in a sippy cup."

"....What?" Kaze asked, still staring at the keychain in distaste.

Roland cleared his throat, aware his job was on the line. And probably life too, if Kaze got mad enough. "Er... Sorry sir, compulsory speech."

"...Right. What's this?" Kaze shook the keychain, and it squeaked menacingly.

"....It came with the van."

"........Riiiight. I'm just going to leave now. And you'd better pray I'm in a better mood when I get back."

Roland gulped. "Yessir."

Still twitching slightly, Kaze turned away from his underling and started toward the van, smacking Pegasus on the back of the head on the way past. "Come on Crawford, let's get this over with." he growled.

Still snickering and not a bit intimidated, Pegasus pulled himself to his feet and went after his fearless leader.

Thankfully the van was already equipped with chibi-sized car seats, so Kaze didn't have to try and hunt some up (or more likely, send Roland to hunt some up). Despite all their stocks of food, weapons, and other supplies, it was doubtful that car seats were something even the Opposition would have. But even so, they were running into problems. By the time Kaze and Pegasus reached the van, a merry game of musical chairs had broken out.

"I wanna sit next ta Ka'wi!" Damon screeched, trying to shove Saguru out of one of the middle car seats.

"No!" Saguru yelled back, sticking out his tongue at the other toddler. "I is already sittin' here!"

Damon huffed, puffing out his cheeks in indignation. Naosu, who was trying to help said Kawari in question buckle up and keep from giggling at the same time, was no help at all. Before anyone else could intervene, Damon had scowled, pointed one chubby finger at Saguru, and chanted something in a language that sounded vaguely like Hebrew, but probably wasn't.

Kaze groaned as he saw the sparks fly (literally!) and somehow managed to resist the urge to bang his head against something hard until the whole world went away. He settled for eyeing his suddenly motionless chibi-second, instead. "Damon, what did you do to Saguru?"

Damon gave Kaze his best chibi-eyes, but the effect was ruined slightly by the fact that Damon only had one eye to beg with. "Nothin'."

"Nothing my left foot..." Kaze muttered, rubbing the bridge of his nose. "Saguru, please tell me you're okay..."

Saguru frowned, apparently thinking about it. Then he smiled, nodded, opened his mouth... and spoke in the same language that Damon had been chanting in. He frowned, and tried again, to the same result. Damon burst into hysterical giggles, and Kaze sighed.

"All right, enough," the Blue Eyes said, crawling into the van so he was kneeling in front of Damon. "What language is that?"

"Phoenician," Damon said, grinning wider than a Cheshire cat. "Ancient Phoenician."

Kaze groaned softly, followed by another sigh. Damon knew about five or six dead languages, because the chants for his spells weren't always in Latin or Egyptian. Apparently, Phoenician was yet another he knew, or at least knew well enough to curse someone else into speaking it. And of course, though everyone in the Opposition spoke ancient Egyptian, and quite a few of them knew Latin or Greek to boot, it was doubtful that anyone but the falconer in front of him would speak Phoenician. "Can you please fix it, Damon?"

Damon pouted slightly, sticking out his lower lip. "Well... You did ask nicely, Kaze-kun, so... Onwy if he lets me sit by Ka'wi!"

From his place in the car seat, Saguru glared and said a very emphatic form of the Phoenician word for 'no'. Or at least that's what Kaze assumed it was, since Damon got even more pouty directly after Saguru said it. "Fine! Then I'm never ever ever gonna remove the cuwse! 'Guru can speak Phoenician forever!" Turning up his little nose in what was unmistakably a pout, Damon headed for the back seat and climbed into the car seat beside Kaeru (who didn't appear to have noticed or cared about the fight at all), still in a huff.

Saguru's eyes got big at that, and he rambled of a stream of the dead language, which only made Damon start laughing. The blond chibi sniffed slightly and spoke something with a question mark at the end. Kaze sighed, pretty sure he knew what Saguru was getting at. "No Saguru, we won't let you stay like that forever. We'll find a way to make Damon lift the curse, all right?" Saguru cheered up and nodded, while from behind him Damon added another 'Never EVER'.

"Fine. Are we ready to go?" Kaze asked, pinching the bridge of his nose. He really needed an aspirin. Or coffee. Damn that Pegasus!

"All ready Kaze-san!" Naosu chirped from the back. He was strapped in on Kaeru's other side, not in a car seat.

"Good." Kaze closed the sliding door and walked around to get into the driver's seat, waiting until Pegasus got in next to him before he started up the engine and pulled out of the carport and onto the open road.

Of course, from there things only got worse.

They'd barely left the compound when Kawari spoke up from behind Pegasus. "Kaze, put on some moosic!"

"Yeah!" Damon chimed in, bouncing up and down in his car seat. "Somethin' Broadway!"

Kawari snorted, wrinkling his nose as he twisted around to stare at the little falconer. "Eww, no! Rock'n'roll!"

"Heavy metal," Kaeru spoke up, not seeming to really care, but wanting to put his two cents in anyway.

Saguru said something, and Damon wrinkled his nose. "Noo, not Celtic! Broadway!"

"Pop?" Naosu suggested.

"You could always turn on something classical." Pegasus commented, flipping his hair over his shoulder.

"NOOOO!" Three chibis hollered at once, and Kaze growled softly, reaching over to let his fingers hover over the radio dial. "The first station that comes on is the one we'll listen to, and I want no arguing, is that understood?" There were heavy sighs and muttered agreements, and Kaze flipped on the radio, settling back into the driver's seat and hoping that this would shut them all up.

Kaeru let out a soft whining sound at the music that drifted over the speakers, and Naosu wrinkled his nose. Damon groaned, and Kawari pouted, obviously wanting to contest the choice. Saguru clamped his hands over his ears, and Pegasus sighed. Kaze just wished he hadn't been quite so absolute in his "one station only" rule. Fighting chibis were better than this. Probably easier to listen to, too.

"What is it?" Kawari ventured after a moment.

"I believe it is bluegrass," Pegasus said with another sigh. "American bluegrass."

"...Ew." Kawari's statement seemed to sum up the feelings of all the chibis.

Unfortunately, due to their oh-so-short attention spans, the chibis soon lost interest in the bad music and looked around for something to do.

"Are we there yet?"

Kaze grit his teeth. "No."

"Oh... How about now?"

"No."

"......Now?"

"No."

"Okay..."

But of course by now the other chibis were beginning to get into the game.

"Kaze, are we there yet?"

"No."

"*random Phoenician*"

"No."

"There yet?"

"No."

"Are we there yet?"

"No!"

Naosu giggled, amused. "Now, loff?"

"NO!" Kaze scowled. "Don't make me pull this car over!"

"Eh, technically it's a van..." Pegasus pointed out, staring out the window.

Kaze gave an annoyed sigh. "Don't you start too!"

Pegasus grinned, carefully making sure that Kaze didn't see it. "Oh, but it's so fun Kaze-boy."

For a few moments, peace reigned in the car... van. Then:

"Kaze, Saguru won't quit pokin' me!" Kawari whined.

"Saguru, stop poking Kawari." Kaze repeated dutifully, squinting at the road in front of him. When did the drive to the airport get so long?

"Nooooo!" came the ancient reply, along with "Saguru, quit it!" in Japanese.

"Stop messin wif my aibou." Kaeru said in his most menacing (and squeaky) chibi voice, crossing his arms and glaring at the blond second. Saguru gulped, but like any child, he couldn't resist trying it just once more... and suddenly found Kawari holding onto his wrist very firmly with his teeth.

Saguru howled, and Kaeru grinned. "That's showin' 'im, 'wari!"

Pegasus dared to turn around. "Kawari! Let go of Saguru this instant. No more biting."

"He started it..." Kawari pouted after he'd released the other boy.

Pegasus just sighed. "Let me see, Saguru... That's not so bad, Kawari didn't even break the skin. You won't have to get a rabies shot after all." He chuckled at his own joke, until Kawari kicked him in the back of his seat. "Hey! Kawari!" The little swordsman just stuck his tongue out, and Pegasus snorted. "Jeez, I never knew you were such a brat..." That only earned him another kick.

All Kaze could do was ignore them and pray they got to the airport soon.

"Are we there yet?"

Miraculously, they all survived the trip to the airport, and they arrived just as the Ishtars' plane was coming in for its final approach. By the time it had taxied to a stop and stairs were put in place, Kaze, Pegasus, Naosu, and the chibis were all waiting anxiously on the tarmac. As soon as the plane's door opened, the chibis had to be restrained from dashing up the stairs. Thankfully, the adults had more hands than the chibis had collars.

"Be patient," Kaze grunted, trying to hold on to both Saguru and Kawari at once. "They'll be here in just a moment.

His words turned out to be prophetic, since just as he said them Rashid Ishtar appeared in the doorway, a strange hint of mischief in his eyes. It disappeared entirely, however, when he laid eyes on the chibis. In fact, his jaw just about dropped (except that he is Rashid Ishtar, and therefore cannot change expression). For a few precious moments he looked like a gaping fish, and then he seemed to compose himself, the hint of humor returning to his expression. He even smirked a little. "It seems we are not the only ones with problems."

Kaze gave him a deadpan stare, a cold knot beginning to form in the pit of his stomach. "Rashid. What. The. Hell. Do you mean?" he asked, his voice dangerously low. Calmly, he ignored Saguru's gasp (once again) from his use of language.

Rashid coughed, sweatdropping slightly. "Well..."

"Oniisaaaaan!" came a slightly frantic voice from inside the plane. Rashid stepped aside and a moment later Malik Ishtar appeared, holding a very chibi Isis Ishtar at arm's length. "Do something, it smells!" Malik paused then, and took in the group on the tarmac. His eye twitched slightly. "Oh great..."

Kaze groaned and put a hand over his eyes. "My thoughts exactly..."

()()()()()

Kaze: *eye twitch*

HCG: How'dya like that? XD

Kaze: You. Made. ANOTHER ONE?!

HCG: Hey, 'SJ did it, not me!

Kaze: And you agreed to it. ;; You really are trying to kill me!

WSJ: *giggles and hugs him* Reviews minna!!!!

God bless minna-san!