Thanks to:
Todd Fan – I had to have Pyro in there somewhere, he rules!
Heartsyhawk – The ice cream was kind of a throwback to something I wrote for Evo-over 18 and I used chocolate coz I don't like that flavour anyway, lol. One strangers bedroom coming up…or is it?
Raphaella – I really wanted to see Scott freak out and he was getting a bit used to waking up next to random people – time to shake him up a bit!
Archmagus – There's not actually much humour in this chapter, but I've got something seriously nasty planned for Scott next time…
A. Ceretta – You wanna see Scott cry? You meanie! I'll put it in there somewhere!
UncannyAsianGirl – The hippie commune chapter will be up very soon! I was gonna save it for the last chapter but I've had another idea for it. I figure the non-techno Forge has to be the shamen – scary! Yeah, the Rogan laundry scene was inspired by your comment! 'Tackle' is an English term that I use all the time (well, whenever referring to that part of the anatomy, lol) but I didn't realise it wasn't in wide use.
Randomnity – Glad you found the fic! I really like the idea for the end of the fic and I might just be able to use it…and that'd make the other mutants really pissed at him lol!
TheDreamerLady – BWAHAHA! Another insane one – did I mention my fees for curing that? I get most of my ideas randomly to begin with and then I use a lot of suggestions by reviewers (after twisting them a little of course!). And I don't think he'll be able to face anyone at all after this!
Rogue14 – This chapter will be less scary…but the next one more so!
LadyEvils – I had to put Evil Jean in there somewhere, she's an old favourite! I guess I should have put her with Pyro to be in keeping with 'Manipulating' but Scott got there first ::shudders::
Spyder616 – Yay, I like recruiting more Evo fans! Although Spidey rules too.
Anc7 – This chapter isn't as mad as others but the next one will get sicker!
Tara – The rating may still go up (and maybe should have done already) depending on the content matter of the next few chapters!
Furygrrl – The ménage a trios came up coz I was running out of chapters to put all the requested characters in and I can never resist going back to Evil Jean! Ugh, Scotty lusting after the Prof…ICK! And what Lance turned the curlers into – I guess we'll never know ::sulks in disappointment:: I'll have the next chapter of AIFF written up over the weekend and it should be up soon!
Disclaimer: I really like beer.
Author Note: If this chapter doesn't make sense to some of you, don't worry about it. I'll be back to the normal Scott-torment formula next chapter. And this chapter isn't actually humour. On a plus note, I really enjoyed writing it and it's the first time I tried anything in this vein. Let me know if you liked the change and rest assured that if you didn't I have something lined up to make Scott miserable…
00000000000000000000000000
Scott woke up and froze. There was definitely some one in bed with him and after the last dimension he was too afraid to look who it was. Instead he decided to explore with his hands.
Long hair. That was a start. And boobs! It had to be a girl. Unless it was Fred…but no, there wasn't an inch of fat on the frame. Things were defiantly looking up. A quick grope behind him confirmed that there was no one behind him and finally Scott felt brave enough to open his eyes.
His first shocked thought was that he had found himself in bed with Tabby. Then he realised that Tabby didn't have hair that exact shade of blonde, nor that well conditioned. He sat up quickly and took in the woman beside him. She was in her late twenties and when she opened her eyes, disturbed by his movement, they were bright blue.
"Morning lover," she said with a yawn. "Time to deal with the rampaging hoards again."
"We're under attack?"
The woman gave him a funny look. "No, I was talking about the children. Will you relax? We get enough trouble around here without inviting more."
Scott sighed in relief as the woman got out of bed rather than jumping on him as everyone else he'd woken up with seemed predisposed to doing. That didn't stop him from checking out her nakedness until she covered herself up – just – with a pair of white jeans and a white corset. She glanced over at him. "Are you going to lie there all day?"
"Uh, no." Scott got out of bed and glanced into a mirror, just to make sure he was still himself. The mirror reassured him of that, but there wasn't much else to be pleased about. He seemed to have aged at least ten years, maybe more. His heart suddenly sinking, he remembered the woman saying something about children. Surely he wasn't a father?
Throwing on some clothes quickly, he followed the woman out of the room, realising he was still in the mansion. If this woman was his girlfriend, as she seemed to be, then he'd better find out her name before he was caught out. At least he'd managed to find clothes this time…
Looking down the corridor, he saw a dragon flying toward him.
"GAAAH! GET DOWN!" He shoved the woman aside and prepared to fire an optic blast at the monster – then realised he couldn't move his hand to move his shades.
"What's gotten into you?" the woman asked. "It's only Lockheed."
"Only…?" Scott watched in confusion as the dragon, which seemed much smaller than it had at first, flew past him without a glance and an aged Kitty turned the corner to chase it.
"Sorry Scott, sorry Emma," she shouted as she phased through the pair of them, racing out of sight.
The woman – Emma – narrowed her eyes at him and suddenly Scott realised she was telepathically scanning his mind.
"Stop that!"
"So, you're from another dimension," she said thoughtfully. "That explains why I was able to get from our room this morning without being ravished."
Scott braced himself for the impact of an exploding world and was rather surprised when nothing happened.
"Don't worry about the universe being destroyed," said Emma. "You'd be surprised how often we get visitors from other dimensions. We're used to it."
"We?"
"The X-Men, silly. So let me get this straight. You're from a world where you've just left school, you're dating the ever-irritating Jen Grey and you're trying to get back there."
"Pretty much." Scott decided it might be a good time to risk some questions. "So, you and this dimensions Scott are…?"
"Co-heads of the Xavier Institute. And lovers obviously."
"Oh. Good for him." Scott wondered why she wasn't more freaked out by her boyfriend being replaced by a younger model from another dimension. "Do you think you might be able to get me home then?"
"I'm sure some one will be. Let's go and speak to Dr McCoy shall we?"
"Look, if we can find Forge I'm sure he can send me back to where I came from and you'll have your, uh, lover back in no time."
"Forge is off chasing Mystique somewhere. Maybe I can locate him on Cerebra."
Emma walked off and Scott trailed behind her, wondering what the hell type of universe he'd ended up in this time.
The downstairs of the mansion was chaos. There were kids running around everywhere, although they seemed to slow to a walk when they noticed the pair. Scott noticed a kid with a face so elongated it looked like a beak, a girl with wings and three identical blondes on the journey to the labs.
"What the hell are you using this place for?"
"It's a school for mutants. But we seem to have a lot more strange looking ones here than the ones who attend your Institute. This way please."
She led him into the bowels of the mansion and past a lot of hi-tech stuff that Scott couldn't even begin to understand. Eventually they got to a combination lab/meeting area and Scott was surprised to find several familiar faces already gathered there.
"I summoned them telepathically," Emma explained as she saw Scott's startled look.
Logan hadn't aged although he managed to look even more menacing than usual. Beast looked a lot more feline-like than Scott remembered him. Kitty had the dragon that had scared him that morning perched on her shoulder. And there was a big guy he partially remembered in the corner – was that Colossus? As well as that was an unfamiliar woman with long black hair sat at the table.
"What's going on?" asked Kitty.
"Scott seems to have been taken over by a version of himself from another dimension," replied Emma. "We have to get this one back to his own world and get our Scott back."
"I dunno," growled Logan. "I could get used to a world with no Cyclops in it."
Emma ignored him. "Sage, is there any way we can swap this Scott with ours?"
The woman with the black hair – Sage – frowned thoughtfully. "There is some Shi'ar technology that could be adjusted for the task, but there is only a 43 probability of this Scott getting back to his own dimension. Who sent him here?"
"Forge did," replied Scott uncertainly.
"Were Forge here our chances of success would be higher, but we have no way of knowing where he might be, thanks to him going off after Mystique." Sage glanced sideways at Beast. "Can you make the necessary adjustments?"
Beast shrugged. "We can only try." He stood and left he room, Sage going with him.
Logan leant back in his chair and regarded Scott with some amusement. "So, what type of alternate dimension do you come from bub? Not the same one that the alternate Kitty came from?"
Emma gave Logan a confused look. "This happened to Kitty too?"
"That's what happens when you've not been around very long," said Kitty. "You don't know everything that happened around here before you decided you wanted to be a good guy."
Scott scowled at the thinly veiled hostility Logan was showing him. "Look, I want to know what's going on in this mansion!"
Emma chuckled throatily. "I positively throb when he gets that tone."
Kitty glared. "Why do you keep saying things that I can't unhear?"
"Well, let's see." Logan grinned unpleasantly. "You joined the original X-Men, went out with Jean Grey, she died, you married her clone, had a kid you sent off into the future and when he came back he was older than you, then Jean came back and you dumped Madeline – the clone – like a bad habit, you married Jean, you died, you came back, she died and you hooked up with the White Queen there."
Scott frowned in confusion as he tried to work all this out, then he paled. "You mean Jean's – dead?"
"Probably not dead enough," muttered Emma.
Beast and Sage walked back into the room, carrying a gun. "We managed to alter this to separate Scott's brainwaves from our Scott," Beast said. "We can't guarantee you'll end up back in your own world, but we'll get our Scott back."
"It's a lot more, uh, hi-tech than the one Forge used," said Scott nervously. All the other trans-dimensional devices had looked like futuristic hairdryers. This one looked like it could blow his head off.
"Maybe it'll work better in that case," said Sage as Beast took aim.
Scott turned to Emma uncertainly. "Well, I guess this is it. You've been uh, very nice."
"Emma nice?" Kitty laughed. "That's a first."
Any response Emma might have given was lost as the Beast blasted Scott and the last thing he saw of that universe was a dancing blue light.