Telling you all now that everyone is going to be a bit out of character, but I'm gonna try to keep them to themselves as much as possible. Oh, thanks to Cornett, Ak8, and IcantthinkofaFnick (You always have something nice to say!) Oops, yeah, there won't be any romances between Van Helsing and Charmed characters; I'm keeping him to Anna. But that doesn't mean other Van Helsing characters could hook up :)

CHAPTER ONE

Paige shook her head at Chris. He had just went to sit on the couch, but missed and fell to the floor. Now he was cracking up laughing.

"I just don't get it," She said. Phoebe nodded.

"You leave him here for a few hours, and he can't even stand up," She said.

Paige buried her face in her hands. "Isn't there a spell to make him sober?" She asked.

"I know one!" Chris called from the floor. His two Aunts looked down at him.

"Chris, why did you bother getting drunk in the first place?" Phoebe asked.

"Umm ..." He looked thoughtful. "I don't remember."

"Well if it was enough to bring him to this, I for one am thankful," Paige said.

"Yeah, so now we have to deal with a drunken nephew instead of a neurotic one. Yippee."

"That's it!" Chris cried.

"What now?" Paige asked.

"I need a drink," Chris said sadly, though he didn't bother to try and sit up. Paige sighed in frustration. "If Piper comes in here and sees him like this -."

"And us with him -."

"Plotting -."

"We're not plotting anything," Chris reminded them. Then he said, "Who can plot when everything is hopeless. Could you fix me a martini?"

"No," Phoebe said strictly.

"Some beer?"

"How about you take a nap and leave things to us?" Paige asked.

"Like that's worked in the past," Chris muttered under his breath. But he turned over, snagged a pillow and blanket, and fell asleep on the floor. Paige rolled her eyes.

"Well he's useless," She said.

"Yeah. You'd think he'd be trying to come up with some way to get himself conceived," Phoebe replied. Paige nodded in agreement, and then the two froze.

"Paige!? Phoebe!?"

Paige cracked open the door and peered out. "It's Piper," She said.

"Gee, I didn't figure that out on my own," Phoebe said sarcastically.

"Shush!"

"Where are you two!?" Piper demanded.

Phoebe looked around. "What are we going to do about this mess!? Piper's going to throw a fit," She said.

Paige glanced at the empty bottles of beer, and a few shot glasses lying around. "Okay, go distract Piper, and I'll start cleaning up," She said.

"Have fun!" Phoebe called in a sing song voice as she crept out the door. Paige frowned at Chris. "Okay, uh ..." She then proceeded to recite the spell that cleans everything up. (Does anyone know how it goes?) Everything disappeared from sight. "Here goes nothing." She quickly orbed Chris away just as Piper and Phoebe came in.

"Where were you two this morning?" Piper demanded.

"We came here to check on Chris," Paige said.

"Well where is he?" Piper asked. "I have a few questions for him myself."

"That's just it. We don't know where he is. We got here and the place was empty," Phoebe filled in. "As i was trying to tell you before."

"What's wrong?" Paige asked, stepping closer to her sisters.

Piper sighed. "That's just it. I'm not really sure."

"Huh?" Phoebe asked.

"Doesn't anything feel ... off to you?" Piper replied.

"It's not Friday the thirteenth," Paige piped up.

"Demons haven't been acting suspiciously," Phoebe accounted.

"Things actually seem pretty normal," Paige finished. Then added as an after thought, "Well, as normal as things get for this family."

"Speaking of normalcy in this family, what are you two up to?" Piper asked.

"Up to? Us? We're not up to anything," Phoebe said, fidgeting.

Paige grimaced at her.

"See, that's it. You are up to something," Piper said.

"Uh ... So what's this whole feeling you're getting?" Phoebe asked.

"You're trying to change the subject," Piper accused.

"Is it working?"

Piper frowned, and then she shook her head. "Your right. Now's not the time. Do you think we could check the book? Maybe there's something in there."

"About weird feelings?" Phoebe questioned.

"Well why not? I mean, it worked for Paige when she went near that house. The guy turned out to be shrinking people."

"She has a point. Her witch-y senses are tingling," Paige said.

"Do you think it means something?" Piper questioned. Phoebe shrugged. "I dunno. Maybe. But it's usually Paige who gets the feelings."

"And Phoebe gets the visions," Paige added.

"Yeah. You just sort of ... take control of situations," Phoebe finished.

Piper looked from Paige, to Phoebe, and back again. "Why are you finishing each other's sentences?"

"Great minds think alike," Paige said.

"Can we get to work? Paige, orb us home then go looking for Chris. Phoebe will try and get a premonition, and I'm going to check the book," Piper said.

"Since when does the book mention anything about feelings?" Paige whispered.

Phoebe shrugged, and then the three orbed away...

"Why is he on our couch!?" Piper demanded. She turned to look at Paige, who seemed very guilty.

"Uh, he looks like he's sleeping," She said meekly.

"I didn't ask what he was doing. I asked why he's there. Didn't you take him to P3 last night? And if you did, and he really was drunk, he should have still been there," Piper said.

"Alright, I'll cave," Paige said. "He was at P3, but he was so wasted, I orbed him here so you wouldn't find out."

Piper stared at her. "You talk like he drank more last night," Piper accused.

"Well ... Piper, uh ..."

"Please don't tell me he got into the supplies at P3," Piper said.

"You're acting awfully grouchy this morning," Phoebe acknowledged.

"Can it, sister. I want the truth."

"Okay. Chris got drunk last night - we're not sure why - and then he came here to talk to us, but we sent him to P3, where we assume he just drank more," Phoebe said.

"Couldn't that kill him?" Piper asked.

"He's a whitelighter."

"And part witch."

"Maybe the whitelighter half gives him a better tolerance?" Phoebe suggested. Piper wiped her face. "Somebody wake him up," She said.

"Are you sure you want to do that?" Phoebe asked. "He looks so peaceful."

"Yeah Piper. He's so cute when he's sleeping," Paige said.

"Don't you have a boyfriend?"

Paige and Phoebe both exchanged disgusted looks. "Eww!" Phoebe exclaimed.

"You mean you think that I - you can't really believe i would like Chris!" Paige said.

"Yeah! He's, like, our -."

"Whitelighter," Paige said quickly. Phoebe nodded her head emphatically. Yeah, I'll stick with that, she thought.

Piper sighed. "Just wake him up. Phoebe, try and force a premonition."

"Why? I'm not the one with the weird feeling," phoebe said.

"What is wrong with you two today!?" Piper demanded.

"Fine, I'm going," Phoebe said. She leaned over and put her hand on Piper's shoulder, waiting for a possible premonition...