Thanks to:
Todd Fan – I knew Scott would try to get out of it somehow and that's just the stupid thing that I'd say!
Lyranfan – Yay! Loads of reviews! I try to add some stuff that's just random to keep people guessing. I like Emma but I'm not into her and Scott at all. And I think Scott might have learned his lesson about mentioning previous dates…about time!
Little Miss Tiny Shoes – Another vote for Jott, it's way out in the lead now! So looks like Scott might be getting home after all. Not like it's going to be all happiness when he gets back…
Southern Goth Gal – thanks for all the reviews sis! Jean as a pothead – I just got the image of her wearing bellbottoms and smoking a joint and laughed out loud imagining what Scott would say.
Miss Ginny – I will be revealing what goes on in Scott's home dimension in a later chapter. Scott's learning his lesson about mentioning his laydeez (or gents) to Forge, finally!
TheDreamerLady – Another reader in therapy – my work here is done! The thought of Xavier scared even me, so I don't think I'll be having too much more of that ::shudders::
Ingrid – I'm glad you liked the story!
Randomnity – Wow, I think your reviews are weirder than my stories! You know what they say about stroking your wookie…do you often get teenage Star Wars nuts at your house? I thought that just happened to me!
Rogue14 – There will be two chapters after this one. Because I used up the first chapter with my random thoughts we're actually only on date 14 and I'm gonna put up an epilogue chapter too.
LadyEvils – Yeah, some one had to like the iron I guess! And I don't do very well at happy endings so I guess even if Scott gets home it won't be all plain sailing…
Disclaimer: Some one shot the disclaimer. I buried it in the back yard and made a little cross out of lollipop sticks.
Author Note: Has anyone else noticed that in the episode 'Uprising', as soon as Leech negates Spyke's powers his undercrackers immediately rise above the waist of his pants? They aren't that high in the rest of the episode when he's all spiky, you can't see them at all. Makes you think, huh?
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Scott was pleasantly surprised when he opened his eyes and found himself in his own room. A good start. Hearing a noise by the mirror, he sat up and glanced at the person standing there.
Jean.
"Al-right! I'm home!" He leapt out of bed, unmindful of his nudity, and threw his arms around a startled Jean. "And I don't have boobs or anything!"
"That's really nice dear." Jean extracted herself from his grip and turned to face him. "Will I do?"
Scott eyed her clothes. "You don't usually wear pink. You always say it clashes with your hair – not that I think it does! It looks nice!"
"Your right." Jean's pink shirt suddenly seemed to move and changed into her familiar yellow one.
Scott blinked in confusion. "Is that a new trick?"
"Don't be ridiculous. If I'm going to sneak out of the mansion, I have to pass for one of the X-Men. I can't just go through the mansion all blue."
"All blue?"
"Looking like myself. Must you always be such an imbecile in the mornings?"
"Looking like yourself?"
"Oh for…" Jean's body began to change, her skin turning blue. Scott let out a cry of alarm, took a step backward and fell onto the bed. "Mystique!?"
"Who else?" Mystique morphed back into Jean. "Did you think I was really Jean Grey?"
"Well…"
"Is there something I should know about you two?"
"No!"
"I thought you two were just team-mates!"
"We are! I swear, uh, Raven, there's nothing going on between me and Jean!"
"I should have realised when you called me her name when you woke up! You treacherous scum!"
"Now look, um, my bluebell, there's absolutely nothing for you to worry about!"
"Oh no?" Mystique pulled out a large gun seemingly from nowhere and pointed it at Scott. "I've got something here for you to worry about! I'll teach you to cheat on me!"
"GAAAH!" Scott rolled off the bed just in time. Mystique pulled the trigger and suddenly the room was filled with flying feathers. In the confusion, Scott slipped through the door and ran for the exit.
"Get back here!" Mystique, still disguised as Jean, chased after Scott, firing bullets at him. Scott managed to dodge them all – one of the major laws of physics is that a bullet will never hit its naked target when shot by a pissed off shapeshifter disguised as a pissed off telepath – and practically fell down the stairs in his rush to get away from her. He raced toward the door as Mystique paused at the top of the stairs and fired at him, leaving holes in the floor and furniture and breaking three windows. Scott burst through the front doors, tripped over Roberto and landed in an ungainly sprawl on the floor.
"What are you doing?" asked Roberto, shielding his eyes to avoid looking at Scott's knackers.
"Yeah," added Jean, sat beside him. "Why don't you put on some clothes before you go jogging?"
Before Scott could comment on the fact that Roberto and Jean were holding hands, Mystique crashed through the front doors and took aim. Scott screamed, scrambled to his feet and fled, Mystique in hot pursuit.
Jean frowned. "Did you just see me chasing a naked Scott with a big gun?"
"Yeah," said Roberto, his face hopeful. "Do you have a twin you were saving for my birthday?"
"Don't push your luck." Jean slapped him around the back of the head.
Scott was aware of the snowy ground as he ran, barefoot and naked, in the direction of Forge's house but his main concern was the crazy woman blasting at him, although frostbite of the testes was not something he was keen on sampling. Mystique was still shooting at him and he wondered desperately where she bought her guns. Why didn't it ever run out of bullets?
He turned a corner and felt one of the bullets graze across his ass, removing a layer of skin. He yelped and tried to force his legs to go faster. Mystique rounded the corner after him and paused for a moment to get a better aim on Scott. He threw himself to the floor and wriggled under a hedge, cursing the snow-covered ground and his lack of pants. He emerged a moment later and ran through the garden, jumped a hedge, tore through that garden and exited through the gate. Mystique was nowhere in sight, probably having ducked into the garden Scott had escaped into. Nursing his chilly willy, Scott stumbled in the direction of Forge's house.
As soon as he got to the house, he began hammering on the door; cursing the day they ever rescued Forge from middleverse. When he got back to his own dimension, he'd have to consider killing Kurt as well. It was his fault they found Forge. For that matter, he'd kill Rogue too.
"Scott!" Forge grimaced as he saw the nudity. "Where the heck are your pants?"
"It's a long story. Can I come in? It's pretty cold out here and I forgot my thermals."
"I guess." Forge stood aside and let Scott in. "So, why are you here without any clothes on? And don't tell me it's the fashion this millennium! Kurt already got me with that trick. I'm still banned from the mall."
Scott shuddered at the image. "I'm from an alternate dimension, you sent me here with your stupid gun and now I'm being chased through the streets by psycho Mystique!"
"Wow. So, she can disguise herself as any girl?"
"Well, she's pretty versatile – hey, that's not the point! You have to get me home!"
"Wait here." Forge went and got the gun from his room, bringing it back with a pink dressing gown. "This is my moms. Wear it. I'm not eyeballing your bits any longer than I have to!"
Scott put on the dressing gown, noting the bunnies on the pocket and wondering how badly it would clash with his shades. Forge fiddled with the gun. "So, what universe are you from?"
"Wait." Scott remembered the trouble he'd had in previous alternate worlds. "Who are you dating?"
"Wanda of course! Who else would I be dating?"
"Oh, no one. I'm from a universe where I'm dating Jean and I'm the leader of the X-Men and Mystique has nothing to do with me!"
"Are you sure you want to go home if Mystique's so versatile? You could have anyone you wanted all wrapped up in the same blue package!"
"Uh…no."
"Your loss." Forge fiddled with the gun some more and Scott let his attention wander. He glanced out of the window and noticed a large owl sitting on the windowsill. He frowned. Surely owls were nocturnal?
The owl suddenly transformed into a wolf and burst through the glass. Scott screamed again as the wolf morphed into Mystique. She glared at him, pulling the iron out of some hidden place.
"I'm going to beat you to death with this," she snarled. "I don't believe you bought me an iron for Christmas! I'm always naked! What would I need an iron for? And don't tell me you mixed up my present with Jean's!"
"Forge!" Scott leapt to his feet. "Shoot me! Shoot me now!"
"You asked for it. "Forge blasted at Scott and the boy vanished in a flash of blue light.
Forge turned his attention to Mystique. "You know, you're going to have to pay for that window."