First of all, I just want to say thanks for all of the great reviews that I have gotten. I was so afraid to do a Gilmore Girls story because the actual show sets the bar for writing incredibly high, but the responses that I have gotten make me so happy that I decided to take the time to start writing.
Second, I've realized that it might take a little more time (a few more chapters) before any of the actual romantic action begins, but I really want to establish the strong friendship between these two and their individual wants for a lasting relationship before I tackle the really good stuff.
Chapter 2: Dr. Phil and the Apocalypse
As Lorelai savored her first tastes of Luke's coffee in a week, she studied his body language to determine whether or not this meeting would end in reconciliation. He had mentioned a peace offering, but she wondered if his remark about coffee and death was some kind of code that the drink was laced with deadly, foreign substances.
"But why would he let me know that there is poison in the cup if he wants me to drink it and die?" she wondered. "Well, don't all super villains like to explain their evil plans? Alright, enough, the coffee is arsenic-free. Back to the analysis."
Luke was the very definition of shy. His hands were shoved firmly in his pockets, as his eyes glanced nervously from the yard to the house. Lorelai suspected that he was actually making sure that the house had not fallen into utter disrepair, which he would undoubtedly be asked to fix, during their week of broken contact. Satisfied that the structure was still standing, Luke glanced back down at the ground before he finally returned his attention to Lorelai. His eyes revealed that he needed to settle their falling out, but, as usual, his willingness to approach the subject verbally was not as forthcoming.
"Look, I'm no Oprah, and you're no Dr. Phil. We're not very good at the whole sharing thing, and I predict that this conversation is going to be long and kind of painful. But it's going to be more painful if we stand out her in the freezing cold, waiting for the explanations to come. So, I suggest we go inside before the contents of this cup resemble a trendy, frozen coffee drink that everyone loves in The O.C., but is just plain torture in Connecticut during the winter."
"Sure," was Luke's only reply. Lorelai knew that there were probably about twelve things in her rant that Luke didn't quite understand, but he just let it all slide to focus on what mattered most at that moment.
They walked into the house, heading straight for the kitchen. Lorelai pointed to a chair at the table, commanding Luke to sit. Without even asking, Lorelai immediately filled the kettle with water to fix some tea. After turning on the stove burner, Lorelai sat at the chair next to Luke's. His eyes were once again cast downward, and Lorelai knew she would have to get the ball rolling. She decided baby steps were the best way to ease into such a sensitive subject, and thought it might be best to just ask how he had been for the last week.
"I'm sorry."
Lorelai was still contemplating a good joke to open with when she realized that Luke had said something. It was another couple of seconds before she grasped just what he had said.
One would not have known by Luke's body language that he had just spoken, nevertheless that he had spoken a phrase that was rather hard for him to say. He was still sitting with his eyes fixed on his hands sitting in his lap. He appeared completely unchanged. Luke thought that since his apology had been spoken to his hands, it might not really count. So, he brought his eyes up, and with a quiet intensity, Luke Danes shocked Lorelai once again.
"I'm sorry. I should have told you. If one of my friends…well, that would probably just be you… had done that to me, I would have been angry, too."
Honesty. Pure, unadulterated honesty. After growing up in the home of Richard and Emily Gilmore, Lorelai never believed that such a thing existed. She did learn that this kind of truth could come out in anger or out of spite, but she could never imagine that such a thing would ever be used in an apology. She definitely never imagined that she would be receiving this honesty from Luke. Not to say that Luke wasn't incredibly honest, far from it. But this was sharing. This was vulnerability, and that was a word she never would have associated with Luke. Wasn't that the whole point of the unshaven lumberjack image?
"Thank you," Lorelai replied with a sad smile. "I didn't exactly handle the situation so great, either. It's just… we're friends. And I don't want you to feel like you can't tell me things, or that I'm going to be super critical of everything. If you do think I'm like that, then, as my friend, it is your duty to let me know so I can stop myself before I turn into my mother."
Luke could only grin at the joke, looking too tired to produce an actual chuckle. This only softened Lorelai even more and reinforced her appreciation for his courage to start what must have been one of the most personal, and thus uncomfortable, conversations of his life.
"And, please, don't think that I expect you to run things by me now or get my approval. This was just a big deal, and a heads up would have been nice."
"Yeah, I know."
She wondered if she should ask the inevitable question that she had been pondering for the last week. Things were going smoothly now, but should she risk that just to satisfy her curiosity? Upon glancing at Luke, Lorelai realized that he looked like he still had plenty on his mind. Perhaps continuing the conversation was necessary to cement the new openness of their relationship. Besides, she couldn't pass up this incredible opportunity to hear Luke talk about issues other than health risks and household repairs.
"So, why didn't you tell me about the move?"
Luke raised his eyes again, at first looking surprised. Then, he let out a short sign and seemed to concede to the situation. What did he have to be surprised about? He knew she would ask him why. He was surprised to realize that he had been secretly hoping that she would ask. And he wanted to answer. Luke knew that he would feel like an idiot the moment he answered her. He also knew that talking about it with someone was the only way to get through it.
"I figured you'd say it was a bad idea."
Lorelai couldn't help herself, she had to press more. She also suspected that his answer was designed for a follow-up question. He knows her too well to think that that answer would end the discussion. "You've never been one to worry about what other people think. What, you're afraid of my transformation into Emily Gilmore with my new friends: harsh and judgmental?"
And with a heavy sigh, Luke finally caved. "Actually I was more afraid of the old friends, perceptive and honest."
Lorelai stared at Luke's face. Stared hard, trying desperately to read his expression. He could not have meant what she had inferred from his statement. Although the evening was setting quite the precedent on candor, what she thought she heard was in a whole other realm of honesty. Finally, Luke gave a slight nod to confirm her suspicions about his meaning. Both sat in silence, contemplating where to go from this point, when a high-pitched screaming jarred them from their daze. Luke merely flinched at the noise, but Lorelai was slightly more shaken.
"Sweet mother!" she screamed before rocketing out of her chair to remove the tea kettle from the heat. She had actually hesitated a moment prior to leaving the table, fearing that the break in the momentum would cause Luke to clam up again. However, Lorelai returned to action when she realized that ending that ungodly noise was more important.
"Okay, so, I'll fix the tea, and you can gather your thoughts. I'm sure you have a lot of things to think about. I don't, so I'll just make the tea, because I'm sure tea can solve all of your problems. I know tea wouldn't do a damn thing for me, just add the problem of finding some coffee."
"I'm going to gather my thoughts now," Luke offered to save both of them from Lorelai's ramblings.
"Yes, gather."
As Lorelai sat down with two cups of tea, she wondered if she would need to bring him out of the gathering process. Last time he had surprised her by speaking voluntarily. Lorelai didn't know if she could count on that phenomenon happening twice in one day, but she decided to give it a try. She just sat and looked at Luke expectantly over the rim of her mug.
"I just don't see how it can work."
Good Lord, it happened again. Bizarro Luke was pulling out all the stops. "What, living together?"
"Living together, marriage, the whole thing. It was all so fast and bizarre. I just can't see us getting to the day when I leave the toilet seat up, and she doesn't want to watch baseball, but it's all okay because that's marriage."
"You can't see the day that you get your own bad sitcom?" Lorelai understood what Luke was getting at, but she wanted to hear more. And now was definitely the time to hear plenty.
"We're not ready for marriage. Our relationship just isn't at that point. I don't think it's going to get to that point."
As much as Lorelai understood and agreed with what Luke was saying, she knew her role as the friend. She had to perform the same job that she would in the same kind of situation with Rory or Sookie: ask the hard questions. "Do you think you would have…if things hadn't happened on the cruise, and you were still just dating now, do you think you would have married Nicole eventually?"
Luke's face revealed that he had already asked himself that question, as well as probably any other question on the subject that she could throw at him. Yes, he had definitely been thinking about this for awhile. "I really don't know. But what's the point of thinking about other circumstances? I can only work with the circumstances I've got."
"So, are you two…?"
"I'm going to the townhouse tonight so we can talk. That should be fun." Luke wasn't sure if he was asking Lorelai his next question, or if he was justifying the situation to himself. "We can't stay married. But we can't really get divorced and keep dating, can we? It's just... besides, what's the point? It's not going anywhere."
"But you guys had a good time together, right?"
"That's not really enough, though, is it? I mean, sure, it was good, but it just wasn't… forever."
At that moment, Lorelai's greatest wish was that Rory could be there with her, because she had always hoped that the mother and daughter could witness the end of the world together. And she was sure that the universe was about to implode after Luke's latest revelation.
Luke wanted a forever. With someone. Luke was ending a relationship because it would never be serious enough.
In Lorelai's eyes, Luke had never looked so human. There he sat, confused and troubled over matters of the heart, as if he were just an ordinary man. Lorelai had always seen two sides of Luke's behavior which seemed too extreme to belong to a mortal. His gruff nature was too detached from emotion for a real person and made him unreachable. However, his incredible acts of kindness turned him into a superhero, able to build a chuppa and drive to hospitals in a single bound.
As much as she felt bad about his obvious troubles, Lorelai had to admit that she liked this current Luke best of all, even over the too-good-to-be-true Luke. This Luke was real.
"Wow. You're such a grown-up," Lorelai said in awe, while searching for any changes in Luke's face caused by his emotional maturity.
"Yeah, only grown-ups have spur of the moment weddings and quickie divorces."
Lorelai, being a master of the self-deprecating wit used for uncomfortable situations, knew it was best to avoid his comment and to explain herself further. "I think you're really brave."
Luke pulled his head up and looked at her expectantly. "Yeah?"
"You're doing what is best for yourself and Nicole in the long run, even if it might seem hard right now. That takes maturity."
Luke laughed out of disbelief. The last thing he felt during this whole situation was mature. But Lorelai did manage to make him feel better. "Thanks," he finally replied before glancing at the clock. "I should probably get back to the diner before I lie down on your couch and start telling you about my childhood."
And now, things were shifting back into normal. Lorelai just laughed and nodded, slightly saddened that this time had to come to an end.
"So, we're good now right? We've done our sharing… well, I did. You didn't really have anything to share."
Suddenly, Lorelai was again reminded of her conversation with Rory and knew it was time to take Luke out of the Emily Gilmore box. 'Wait, was that dirty?' she wondered. 'Now is so not the time. Focus, you idiot.'
"Actually, there was something I wanted to tell you."
"Oh, yeah?"
"Yeah. Um, I've been seeing someone. His name's Jason, and we've been going out for a couple of months. He's my father's business partner, but we haven't told my parents yet. We've just been keeping things quiet, and I guess I just wasn't used to talking about it, or something."
"Yeah, sure," Luke nodded to show his understanding.
"I just wanted to let you know. If I'm going to make you be honest, I guess I should be too."
"I appreciate that." They both stood grinning at each other a few seconds longer before Luke decided to revert back to their old ways. "So, he's an insurance man?"
Lorelai's first thought was, "Good God, no." Her father was an insurance man. But Jason worked with her father, and it wouldn't make sense for business partners to operate in two completely separate industries. She had just never thought of it before. "Yep, he's an insurance man."
"No wonder you wanted to keep it quiet."
The ultimate return to normalcy: teasing.
"There isn't anything else wrong with him is there? He doesn't, like, sell drugs or anything, does he?"
Lorelai smiled her largest smile of the day. "Just the one time, but he did use the money to buy me presents."
"As long as you're getting something out of it."
I promise we will get to the good stuff soon. Believe me, I want these two to make out just as much as you do.