Chapter 11: Pain and Promise.
Abby watched his restless sleep, she wished there was something else she could do for him. She wished they were home. Somehow if Susan was taking care of him, she knew it would be better.
He felt her near him. That was all he needed to calm him a little. Just feeling her presence there gave him some sense of peace. It didn't take the pain away, a pain that he wished wasn't there. He wanted to wake up and have all of it gone.
Abby dropped her head onto his gurney again and wished for morning to come soon.
John awoke to the sun shinning in the window. The bright light made his head ache worse. He turned his head to see Abby resting her head on the gurney. The night had to have been as long, if not longer for her as it was for him. He was hoping that the nurse would come in soon, he didn't want to wake Abby to have her fetch the nurse. She had been thru enough just having to sit there with him. John let the tears escape from his eyes. The pain that he felt had gotten to the point where he couldn't hold it back anymore. He rolled so that he wasn't facing Abby, he didn't want her to wake up and see him in a moment of weakness.
The nurse walked in and shook Abby's shoulder. "Mrs. Carter, there is someone here to see you. I know you left instructions that you and your husband were not to be disturbed, but the young lady says she has something for you." Abby lifted her head, it must be Barbara she thought. She stretched, then stood up.
"I'll go talk to her. Has John had any Toradol recently?
"No, would you like us to bring Dr. Carter his next dose?" She said looking at his chart.
"Yes, please. I want him to be as comfortable as he can be. I am going to go out and talk with my sister-in-law. I will be right back."
"I'll make sure that he gets it." The nurse said to Abby, "the doctor will do his rounds in about an half hour."
"Thank you," Abby said. She patted John's hand then headed out to talk with Barb.
Barbie saw Abby, "here's the things that you asked for, did you get any sleep last night Abby?"
"A little, how about you?"
Barbara chuckled, "no was I supposed to. How is my brother?"
"He was asleep when I stepped out. His head is really bothering him. Would you mind sitting with him while I change?"
"No I don't, but before you do, I want to know why my brother was standing out in the street. I didn't push anyone yesterday cause I know you were under a lot of stress. But Abby I want to know if there's something wrong with John, if this has anything to do with, with his.." She couldn't get herself to say it.
"He was drinking, which is not the norm for him. I don't know if you really want to hear all this. I don't know if I am the one who should air the dirty family laundry."
"Do you want me to ask him?" She said looking at Abby.
"No" Abby said, shaking her head. "Please don't upset him. If you really want to know, I will tell you."
"I don't want to upset him Abby, but if something has happened I want to know." She said, "I wasn't there for him the last time that he needed me."
"Apparently, your mother said something that set him off, no doubt about me. That's when he started to drink. Then your father did something inappropriate, which I gather John saw. I noticed him leave and I followed him. I tried to talk to him, but he kept backing away. I didn't even notice he was in the road until I saw the headlights, and then it was too late."
"Sometimes my parents actions bewilder me Abby. You would think that they would care for us. But it doesn't surprise me that they would do something like this." She said, "I'll go sit with him. Go change, take your time."
"I can't take too long. The Doctor will be doing rounds soon," she said, as he took the bag Barbara was handing her.
John watched as his sister walked into his room, "hey."
"Hey, Scooter. You don't look to bad for a guy hit by a car."
"Abby send you to baby-sit."
"She asked if I would stay with you while she changed. I don't think she considered it baby-sitting."
"I'm sorry I didn't mean that to come out like that, it's just my head hurts." He said looking at her, "Barbie would you do me a favor?"
"What?"
"They called a script in to the pharmacy for me." He said, "could you pick it up. I don't want Abby to worry about having to get it."
"Sure, I'll pick it up and drop it off at your hotel. Kevin and I aren't leaving for our honeymoon for a few more days. They letting you out today?"
"Yeah they are." He said, "I'm just waiting for the doc to come back with the discharge papers."
"That's good. I am sure Abby will be relieved."
"So where are you and Kevin going for your honeymoon?"
"A castle south of here. We almost got married there, but I caved to Mother's need for a 'society wedding'."
"I would love to marry Abby in a castle." He said to her, wistfully.
"I saw that you gave her Gamma's ring. You set a date yet?"
"Yeah I did give her Gamma's ring. Your wedding was a good thing for us, Barbie. But we don't have a date yet, I don't want to rush anything, but if I could I'd marry her here before we left."
"If you are feeling up to it, why don't you and Abby come along with us to Chillon Castle. Even if you don't get married, I figure you could use the peace and quiet."
"I'd love to Barbie, are you sure we won't be in you're way. It's your honeymoon after all."
"Hey, it's a big castle," Barbara said, ruffling his hair carefully. "Johnny, is there anything else you need to tell me?"
"About what Barbie?" He said looking at her funny.
"I don't know. Mom? Dad? Why you were standing out in the middle of the street?"
A tear escaped his eye, "I.....I can't."
"Okay, Johnny. I won't push. But know if you are ready to talk, I'm here for you."
He nodded wiping the tear from his eyes, "I know you are, I'm just not ready. Don't tell Abby I sent you for that either, she'll think I'm pestering the newlyweds."
"Its not a bother. I'll see you a little later." Barbara kissed his cheek then headed out the door.
He leaned back against the bed, he could trust his sister. He closed his eyes and waited for Abby to get back, he really just wanted to get out here now. Abby hurried back toward John's room. She had changed her clothes and ran a brush through her hair. She didn't want to miss the Doctor. She saw Barbara come out of the room.
"I didn't upset him Abby, but something just doesn't seem right with him." She said to her, "he said that the doc said he could go home.
"They told me last night that they would be keeping him until morning. I just hope he can get some good sleep. He was so restless last night."
"So do I. He's not himself. I will see you a little while later."
"Don't delay your honeymoon on our account. If you call I can just keep you updated."
"I'm not John just asked me..." She stopped herself, he had asked her not to say anything.
"John asked you what?"
"To bring by the address for where we are going on our honey." She said trying to recover.
"Okay," Abby said, not believing her for a second. John and his sister had a lot in common, and not being able to lie convincingly was a trait they shared.
"Talk to him Abby not me." Barbara said walking down the hall, somehow she knew she hadn't pulled that off and had just gotten her brother in trouble with the soon-to-be Mrs. Carter.
Abby shook her head. It was more than she could deal with right now. She just needed to get John back to their room and hold him while he slept.
"Can we get out of here now." He said as he watched her walk into the room.
"Did you get your walking papers? I thought the doctor wasn't due for a few more minutes?"
"He came while you were in the ladies room. Did you need something from him?"
"No, I guess not. Did he give you a scrip for the Torodol?"
"Yeah he did." Carter handed the script to her.
"All right, lets get you dressed, Barbara brought you some clothes too. I'll get you back to the hotel, then pick up your meds."
"Thanks but I think I can do it."
"Are you sure, I don't mind. Its kind of a novel idea to put you into your clothes instead of taking you out of them," Abby said, with a slight smile.
"Sorry I just don't feel like it right now." He said running his hand thru his hair.
"Okay," Abby said as she stepped back. She couldn't believe how much that hurt her.
"I just want to go back to the hotel," he said sliding into his pants and pulling the shirt on. He left it unbuttoned, hanging open.
"I'll just go call a taxi. I'll be right back," Abby said as she hurried out of the room.
He sat there, he had snapped at her and he shouldn't have. His head hurt, his heart hurt and everyone kept asking him if everything was okay. He just wanted it to all stop so that he could take a minute to breath and get everything under control. Barbie would be at the hotel room soon, he needed to get the pain to stop. He felt like he was going insane.
Abby came back into the room. "Taxi's here, let's get you out of here, she said, but she stood at the door rather than next to John.
Something had told him that he had hurt her, he thought about telling her he was sorry. The pain that he was feeling wasn't caused by her, his mother and his father had done that to him, "I shouldn't have snapped at you, my head just really hurts Abby."
Abby went over to him and wrapped her arm around his waist. "Lets get you out of here and tucked into bed."
"I like the sound of that." He said, "I'm ready to get out of here. Lead the way sweetheart."
They got him to the car, then to the hotel without incident. Abby opened the door of the room, leading him in. He laid down on the bed, "thank you Abby."
"Let me get you some water, then I will run to the pharmacy and pick up your script."
Maybe he would get lucky and Barbie would come while she was gone. He felt guilty hiding this from Abby, but he didn't think she would understand, that she would think he was weak. "I'd appreciate that."
She reached over and kissed his forehead. "I will be back just as quick as I can."
"I know you will." He said closing his eyes to hide the tears that were there. Why did this have to be happening to them things were going so well. He hated his father right now. Carter closed his eyes and tried to sleep, he wanted to shut the world out right now. And he didn't want to admit to himself that he was shutting out Abby as well.
Barbara stood at the hotel room door. She knocked lightly, hoping she wouldn't disturb John. He heard someone knocking, he got up and walked over to the door, he opened it seeing that it was his sister a small smile crossed his face, "Hi Barbie."
"Hi, Scooter. Where's Abby?"
"She had to run out for a minute." He said to her.
"She left you here by yourself. What was so important she had to leave," Barbara said, a bit perturbed with Abby.
"She's getting me something."
"Oh, then I guess its fine. Here are your pills."
"Thanks Barbie," He said taking them from her, he put them in the dresser. "I'm glad you were able to get them for me."
"It's no problem Scooter. I'll give you a call later to see how you are feeling."
"Thanks, I think I am going to take a nap." He said to her, "I love you big sis."
"I love you too baby brother. Go lay down, I will let myself out."
He nodded and laid down on the bed. He couldn't get to sleep. He sat up and took the bottle out of the drawer and held it in his hand. His mind was telling him one thing while his heart was telling him another. He loved Abby, he would never do anything to hurt her, yet the pain from his mother's words and from his father's actions cut him to the core. He wanted that pain to go away.
The vicodin would take the pain away, at least for awhile, until he could clear his head. But could he hurt Abby that badly. If he slipped would it hurt her that bad. The pain was so bad that he didn't want to give a damn about anyone right now but himself
Carter played with the bottle in his hands. He unscrewed the lid and put it back on again. Carter placed two of them in his hand and reached for the glass of water Abby had placed next to the bed. But he couldn't bring himself to actually put them in his mouth and swallow. He could see Abby in his mind. He let the tear that was there fall. He didn't know if all this pain being gone for a moment was worth the hurt that he would put her through. God where was she, he needed her, but he couldn't let her see him like this. What would she think, Carter thought to himself. She would see him as weak and pathetic, unable to kick a habit that he himself thought that he had complete control of, and he did until he was hurt by his parents. Would she understand the pain that he was in.
He was running himself in circles, he knew that he either needed to take them and get this over with or put them down. Carter tipped his head back. He knew what he was going to do.
Abby opened the door. She looked toward the bed. Why was John sitting up and not sleeping? He stopped; he didn't expect her back yet. Abby stopped in her tracks, there was a pill bottle on the nightstand. Carter looked at her, tears welled in his eyes. He didn't want her to see him like this. He was afraid of what she was going to think of him now.
"John," she said softy. She reached out and grabbed both his hands. "Can you talk to me?"
He looked away from her afraid to say anything. Closing his hand tighter, he pulled the right one back out of her reach.
Abby felt him withdraw from her. This was going to be the hardest thing she had ever done. She needed to get through to him, to let him know that everything was going to be ok. She just wasn't sure how to do it.
He wanted to forget about everything that had happened, everything he had seen. But the images just kept forming in his mind.
Abby took a deep breath. She was going to have to be strong. "John, I need you to talk to me."
He looked at her his eyes meeting with hers. He knew that he needed to get this out, or it was going to eat him alive. He knew that he could trust her, she wasn't the one who had hurt him.
"Baby, there is nothing you can say that would make me turn away from you."
"Please," Abby said, almost pleading. "Talk to me."
Carter looked at Abby. He wasn't sure how to tell her what he was thinking.
Abby could feel the tears welling up in her eye. She tried so hard to hold them back, she had to be strong, but one tear slid down her cheek.
He tried to form the words to tell her, "I......I....." was all that he could get out.
"Breathe, John," she said softly. "Just take some slow deep breaths, in through your nose out through your mouth."
"I hate them." He wanted to scream.
"It's ok. Just let it out."
"It hurts, Abby it hurts so bad." He started to cry, the tears slipped down his check. "I love you but I hate them, I hate both of them for what they did to me. I want to be happy but they won't let me."
"John, they have no power over you. You are your own man, and you have been for a very long time."
"He took you in his arms and kissed you Abby. My own father! He didn't give a damn about me when he did it. Do you know what it was like to look across that room and see that."
"I can't say that I know how you feel. I can imagine it would be very hurtful to see. But, please, please don't forget, I love you, and nothing he does will change that.
"I want them to leave me alone Abby. I want the pain of this gone. I didn't want you too see me like this, begging, pleading, sneaking around to ease my pain. I knew that these would take the pain away." He opened his hand.
"Oh, John," Abby said, at a loss for the words that would make this better.
"I'm only human Abby. I can't pretend anymore that I have this under control all the time. I told the doctor at the hospital that I was taking vicodan for a back injury and that I had run out. I lied to get what I thought would make it better." He looked in her eyes, "please don't hate me Abby, I couldn't bear for you to hate me because I am weak."
"I don't hate you, and you are not weak. They gave you something last night, which you probably didn't know about. And with all things that have been going on, it didn't take much to start the cravings. But you and I both know that you are strong and that you will get through this because you are not alone this time."
"I don't want to be alone Abby. I am terrified of being alone. I have been alone my entire life. They shipped me off right after Bobby died and that was the end of my happy family. I need you Abby, you are the only one good thing left in my life. The only one I have that I can trust not to stab me in the back. I am so sorry. I don't want to be like this. I can't be like this. Take these please I don't want them. I don't want them to ruin us. I want to hear you say I love you to me for the rest of your life. I want a family with you."
"John, I pledged my heart to you forever yesterday. And just because we weren't standing in front of the minister doesn't make it less real. Those vows say better or worse. Today is the worse, we can survive today and reach the better. Together.
"Abby, I love you so much, I don't ever want to hurt you, ever." He ran his hands thru his hair and started to sob. "I can't do this by myself anymore, I don't want to pretend anymore that everything is alright, it's not."
Abby pulled him to her, holding him close. Together they cried. Their tears ran together, but soon they became tears of healing, rather then tears of pain.
John looked up at her, "Abby, Barbara has invited us to go with them to where they are having their honeymoon, I want to marry you in that castle. I want you to have a fairy tale wedding. I want to give you the world and all it has to offer, will you please say yes."
"I don't need a big wedding. I just need you"
"You have me heart and soul Abby. The thought of you was the only thing that kept me from taking those."
Abby held out her hand to let John drop the pills in it. "Just remember, you can always talk to me. I will always be here for you."
He gave them to her, "I...I know. You are a gift from God Abby."
"And so are you."
He looked at her, he loved her, he knew that no matter what he could bear his soul to her and she wouldn't think any less of him. He was exhausted.
"Abby I am so tired."
"Lets get undressed, and under the covers, we both need to sleep."
He slipped out of his clothing and under the cover, "will you be here when I wake."
"I wouldn't be anywhere else."
He let out a sigh as sleep over took his worn out body. He needed her and she was there with him.
They slept most of the day, waking briefly to have John take some torodol or to use the bathroom.
John awoke and was starting to feel better, he had the woman he loved laying next to him under the covers. Carter pulled her next to him and began to nibble on the back of her neck. "Abby, I love you."
"I love you, too John."
He thought about going out to the castle with Barbie. If he was going to do this they had a lot to do. "You really just want a small wedding Abby?"
"I do. Just you and me, and the witnesses. I don't need a big production, I just need you."
"I think it might step on a few toes if we do it over here, but I don't want to wait until we get back to Chicago."
"Maybe we can have a big reception when we get back home. The only thing is I don't want to leave Susan out. She has been a good friend, and I think she should be part of this."
"It's her feelings that I am most afraid of hurting," He said, "she has been a good friend. Do you think that she would mind being a part of it over the phone?"
Abby thought about that a minute. "You know, that could work. I wonder if she can be an official witness if she is just on the phone."
"I don't know," He said, "Barbie and Kevin are leaving tomorrow. How are we going to pull all of this together. Since we haven't had the greatest of vacations....guess I just can't leave the ER at home."
"Well, what do we really need? A license, and two rings."
"Well and a minister, and you need a dress, and oh what the hell, yes Abby we just need you me, and two rings." He said smiling at her.
"A dress would be nice, but its not essential. It doesn't matter what we wear, but what's in our hearts."
"Abby what ever you want," He said, "I want it to be special for you, the way that you want it with no family member pushing us to do it one way or another. I've never cared for high society."
"The one thing I do want is some pictures, so that we have pictures to show our kids someday."
"Kids, Abby?"
"Don't you want kids?"
"Yeah I do, but I just thought that you didn't , I mean after everything."
"I have been afraid of having children, but with you at my side, I can do it. You are going to be a great daddy." Abby said, stroking his face.
"We can do it together." He said. "I'll have Barbie help me arrange for a license for us, and I'm sure she can also find someone to perform the ceremony on such short notice." A smile crept across his face.
"We are really going to do this, aren't we," Abby said, excitement growing in her voice. " We are going to be married."
"Unless you change your mind." He said grinning at her, "I want this more than I have wanted anything in my life Abby."
"I don't plan on changing my mind," Abby said, snuggling closer to John.
"I know you don't," He said wrapping his arms around her, "I'll call Barbie after bit."
"Sounds good to me. Are we telling anyone else?"
His smile faded, "no we aren't."
Abby could have kicked herself. Why did she say that.
"I know how my family feels Abby," He said, "I am not going to let them ruin this day for me. You and I are right and if they can't be happy for me, I don't need them."
Abby held him close. "If you want, we can tell them when we get back and if you don't want to we'll just send them an announcement."
"If I ever decide to tell them. Gamma is the only one who cares about me Abby and she's the only one who I will tell before."
"And I guess I will call Maggie after we get back to Chicago."
"Oh God Abby I am so sorry I didn't even think of your family." He said.
"I would have liked Eric to be there, but since that isn't possible right now," Abby's voice trailed off.
I know," He said running his hand down the back of her head, "I know it's not easy on you."
"But," she said, lifting her head back up and looking John in the eyes, "I refuse to let anything ruin our day."
Nothing will ruin it Abby." He said looking at her, "We've waited to long for this." His eyes were getting heavy again. "you know I might have to sleep thru everything unless I stop taking that stuff. How long can a headache last."
"All I can say is that if you try to weasel out of our wedding night by saying you have a headache, you will have bigger problems than your head," Abby said with a playful glint in her eye.
"I would never do that to you." He said closing his eyes, "you will have everything you deserve and then some."
"Get some sleep, baby," Abby said as she shimmied back under the covers.
He was asleep. A peaceful rest, no one was haunting him, yelling at him or tell him that he making a mistake. He loved Abby. He had known that for a long time. He was going to make this the greatest day of her life, he just almost wished that their time here wasn't half gone. He would be back to the grind of the ER soon, only one thing would be different, there would be two Carters working in the ER.
Abby woke to the sound of the phone ringing. Since John was still asleep she reached over him and answered it. "Hello," she said.
"Hey how's Scooter." Barbara asked.
"He's asleep right now, but he has something important to tell you so let me wake him," she said, as she poked John in the ribs.
"What," he said grunting at her.
"Your sister is on the phone. Do you want to tell her or do you want me to?"
"You do it." He said rolling back over. "I'm tired."
"Barbara, John said that you invited us to go to a castle with you and Kevin. We decided we are going to get married there. Can you help us with some of the details?"
"Congrats Abby, yes of course I can help you with the details. What we've got to get the license and the minister and of course we will have to get you a dress." She said excitedly all in one breath.
"I don't need a dress," Abby said, smiling at Barbara's enthusiasm.
"What do you mean you don't need a dress Abby, of course you do, I will come and get you and we will you one and the other stuff taken care of." She said.
"I guess," Abby said. " Let me be sure it is ok with John. She poked John in the ribs again.
"Now what." He said pulling the blanket over his head.
"Barbara wants to take me to get some of the details take care of. Is that okay with you?"
"Will you let me sleep if I say yes?" He said opening one eye enough to look at her.
"Sure I will."
"Go then." He said chuckling. "Have fun. I'm going back to sleep."
"Are you sure you will be okay alone here?" Abby asked, the tension of the morning still in her mind.
He knew what she was thinking with out her having to say it, "take them with you."
"It's not that I don't trust you. I just want to be sure you are okay."
"I know," he said to her, "If I can sleep I'll be fine. And it's hard to do that with you gabbing at me Abigail Carter."
"Are you sure you are going to be alright. You probably do need to rest more."
"I haven't officially married you yet and you're already nagging." He said,.
"You can always back out."
"You had better go with her before I pull you back under these cover's and remind you why you love me."
"Oh, God. I forgot Barbara was still on the phone." Abby put the receiver back up to her ear. "Barbara are you still there?"
"Yeah, so it's it going to be me and shopping, or my baby brother," she said.
"Since he wants to sleep, I guess its you."
"I can be there in 5. We'll go and get your license before the ministry closes." She said, "can you be ready and down front?"
Abby looked down at her lack of clothing, "Give me ten."
"Okay, I will be there in 10." She said, "tell my brother I am happy for him."
"If I wake him up again, he might change his mind. I'll tell him when we get back."
"I understand Abby, I'll be there in 10." Barbara said. She set down the phone and headed out to get her soon to be sister-in-law.
Abby hurriedly got dressed, put the bottle of vicodin into her purse then went downstairs to meet Barbara.
"Are you ready to go," Barbara asked Abby when she saw her in the lobby.
"I am. Where to first?"
"I pulled a few Carter strings on the way over here, they can do a license for you and John. We just have to swing over to the ministry and pick it up. If you'll pick a time, I have a friend who owes me a couple and said he would marry you two."
"Oh, Barbara, that is wonderful. What do you think of sunset tomorrow?"
"Abby I couldn't think of a better time. It will be so beautiful. We will have to find you a dress too." They had driven a few blocks and the car had stopped, "let's go get that license. By this time tomorrow you will legally be bound to my brother...Lord help you Abby." She said laughing
"John was my gift from Him."
Barbara chuckled as she opened the door, "I was able to give him all of John's information but you'll have to tell them yours Abby," She said, "I'm sorry that I don't know more about my new sister."
"I hope we get a chance to know each other better."
"We will. John never said how long you two were going to be here." She said pointing Abby where she needed to go as the walked up to a desk, "I called earlier for a marriage license for my brother John Carter." She said to the clerk.
"Yes miss, we just need to ask the bride a couple of questions and then you can have it."
"I can't believe I am going to be a bride" Abby said, her hands starting to shake a little.
"I just need your full name and if you've been married before." He said, "It's just for our records."
"Abigail Rachel Wyczenski Lockhart. And yes, I have been married before."
He disappeared for a minute and handed her a piece of paper, "congratulations."
Barbara turned to her, "Let's go find that dress and get you back with my brother, after yesterday I'm not crazy about leaving him alone."
"I'm not either. Hopefully we can find something quick. It took me 18 dresses until I picked out the one I wore to your wedding."
Barbara led her into a bridal shop, "I'm sure we can find something in here."
Abby's eyes widened. There were hundreds of dresses. "If I can find anything here there is something wrong with me."
"I know you'll find what you want." Barbara said to her, "and I know you'll look stunning in it."
John was having a hard time sleeping now that Abby was gone. He got up and walked over to the phone. He figured that he might as well call Gamma and give her the good news. Carter dialed his grandmother's phone number and waited for her to pick up.
"Hello," she answered.
"Gamma, it's John." He said.
"How are you feeling. I would have visited you last night, but Abby was like a tigress protecting her cub."
"I know Gamma, Abby just loves me, but I wanted to tell you before you heard it from someone else, Abby and I are getting married."
"I know."
"You do Gamma?" He asked a little shocked.
"I saw the ring on her finger, and I saw the way she stood up to your mother. The only think I don't know is when."
"Tomorrow I think Gamma, she's out with Barbara. They were getting things together. I'd wait until we were back in Chicago, but I can't. She's too special and I've waited to long for her, I love her Gamma. I hope your not disappointed in me." He said remembering his mother's words.
"Why in the world would I be disappointed in you?"
"Mother just said that you would. No one else seems to think she's good enough for me, but I know she is and I know she loves me for who I am, even with all my faults and flaws."
"John, your mother hasn't a clue what I think. I have seen the two of you together and I know she makes you happy and that is what's matters. I don't care what family she comes from, or what she does for a living. She makes my grandson happy, and that is all that is important."
"Thank you Gamma." He said to her, "I am happy with Abby. I'm not telling anyone else and we are going to have a small ceremony."
"Show me some pictures when I get home."
"I will Gamma, I will." He said wiping the tear from his eye, "I will see you in Chicago."
"Tell Abby welcome to the family, and that next time I see her, I expect her to call me Gamma.
"I will. That means a lot to me."
"You two remind me of your grandfather and myself. And we know how that turned out.
"I know Gamma." He said. "I need to finish packing and lay down. I'm starting to get tired again."
"Take care. I love you."
"I love you too." He said laying down the phone. He packed up what they had managed to unpack then lay down on the bed to wait for Abby.
Abby breezed back into the room, her hands empty.
John looked up at her, "did you get everything done...your empty handed."
"Barbara has my dress, she didn't want you seeing it ahead of time. Your sister can be very old fashioned."
Yes she can be." He said, "did you get anything else done?" he propped himself up on one elbow.
"Yep, we have a license, a minister and I have your ring."
"I'm glad." He said going quiet.
"What's wrong?"
"I've been here the entire time you've been out. I don't have yours." He said almost hanging his head.
"Baby, you gave me this beautiful engagement ring. That's enough."
"I have the one that I was going to give you as a Valentine's day present. It's not much, but...."
"You bought me something for Valentines day," she said, amazed.
"I know it's not been an easy holiday for me, but Abby I want to start over with you. So yes I went out and got you something."
"Now I feel bad. I didn't get you anything."
"You have given me more in the last two days than I could ever ask for."
"I think I have one chocolate pig left," she said, laughing.
He smiled at her as he pulled her down onto the bed with him, "I'm glad Barbara didn't throw a big hissy fit over it being bad luck for me to be with you tonight." He said kissing her.
"She thought about it, but she didn't want you to be alone, and she figured it wasn't fair to Kevin to have a house guest just yet."
"I'm glad because I want to spend the rest of the night with you wrapped in my arms telling you how much I love you."
"Besides, I can only sleep if you are next to me," Abby said, smiling shyly.
"Tomorrow you'll be legally mine and you'll have to sleep here next to me forever."
"I don't want to be anywhere else."
"I'm glad Abby." He looked at her for a minute, "I know this may be a silly question to be asking you."
"What?"
"Are you going to change your name?" He asked. He had been thinking about it, with her nursing license he knew it was a pain.
"Oh course. Why would I want to keep Richard's name."
"I know it's a pain to change your license over. I just wasn't sure if you'd want to do it."
"I will be proud to have your name. And what's a little paperwork in exchange."
He smiled at her, "I love you so much Abby. What time are we leaving."
"Barbara said to be ready by 9."
"Okay." He said, "oh Abby, I never asked you, what time are you becoming my wife."
"At sunset."
He closed his eyes, "I couldn't have dreamed of a more perfect time."
"I hoped you would approve"
"I do." Carter said to her.
"Just remember those words for tomorrow."
"I'll remember those words for the rest of my life Abby." He meant it.
"Good night love." He said as he kissed her cheek.
She kissed him back. "Night, Baby."
Abby watched his restless sleep, she wished there was something else she could do for him. She wished they were home. Somehow if Susan was taking care of him, she knew it would be better.
He felt her near him. That was all he needed to calm him a little. Just feeling her presence there gave him some sense of peace. It didn't take the pain away, a pain that he wished wasn't there. He wanted to wake up and have all of it gone.
Abby dropped her head onto his gurney again and wished for morning to come soon.
John awoke to the sun shinning in the window. The bright light made his head ache worse. He turned his head to see Abby resting her head on the gurney. The night had to have been as long, if not longer for her as it was for him. He was hoping that the nurse would come in soon, he didn't want to wake Abby to have her fetch the nurse. She had been thru enough just having to sit there with him. John let the tears escape from his eyes. The pain that he felt had gotten to the point where he couldn't hold it back anymore. He rolled so that he wasn't facing Abby, he didn't want her to wake up and see him in a moment of weakness.
The nurse walked in and shook Abby's shoulder. "Mrs. Carter, there is someone here to see you. I know you left instructions that you and your husband were not to be disturbed, but the young lady says she has something for you." Abby lifted her head, it must be Barbara she thought. She stretched, then stood up.
"I'll go talk to her. Has John had any Toradol recently?
"No, would you like us to bring Dr. Carter his next dose?" She said looking at his chart.
"Yes, please. I want him to be as comfortable as he can be. I am going to go out and talk with my sister-in-law. I will be right back."
"I'll make sure that he gets it." The nurse said to Abby, "the doctor will do his rounds in about an half hour."
"Thank you," Abby said. She patted John's hand then headed out to talk with Barb.
Barbie saw Abby, "here's the things that you asked for, did you get any sleep last night Abby?"
"A little, how about you?"
Barbara chuckled, "no was I supposed to. How is my brother?"
"He was asleep when I stepped out. His head is really bothering him. Would you mind sitting with him while I change?"
"No I don't, but before you do, I want to know why my brother was standing out in the street. I didn't push anyone yesterday cause I know you were under a lot of stress. But Abby I want to know if there's something wrong with John, if this has anything to do with, with his.." She couldn't get herself to say it.
"He was drinking, which is not the norm for him. I don't know if you really want to hear all this. I don't know if I am the one who should air the dirty family laundry."
"Do you want me to ask him?" She said looking at Abby.
"No" Abby said, shaking her head. "Please don't upset him. If you really want to know, I will tell you."
"I don't want to upset him Abby, but if something has happened I want to know." She said, "I wasn't there for him the last time that he needed me."
"Apparently, your mother said something that set him off, no doubt about me. That's when he started to drink. Then your father did something inappropriate, which I gather John saw. I noticed him leave and I followed him. I tried to talk to him, but he kept backing away. I didn't even notice he was in the road until I saw the headlights, and then it was too late."
"Sometimes my parents actions bewilder me Abby. You would think that they would care for us. But it doesn't surprise me that they would do something like this." She said, "I'll go sit with him. Go change, take your time."
"I can't take too long. The Doctor will be doing rounds soon," she said, as he took the bag Barbara was handing her.
John watched as his sister walked into his room, "hey."
"Hey, Scooter. You don't look to bad for a guy hit by a car."
"Abby send you to baby-sit."
"She asked if I would stay with you while she changed. I don't think she considered it baby-sitting."
"I'm sorry I didn't mean that to come out like that, it's just my head hurts." He said looking at her, "Barbie would you do me a favor?"
"What?"
"They called a script in to the pharmacy for me." He said, "could you pick it up. I don't want Abby to worry about having to get it."
"Sure, I'll pick it up and drop it off at your hotel. Kevin and I aren't leaving for our honeymoon for a few more days. They letting you out today?"
"Yeah they are." He said, "I'm just waiting for the doc to come back with the discharge papers."
"That's good. I am sure Abby will be relieved."
"So where are you and Kevin going for your honeymoon?"
"A castle south of here. We almost got married there, but I caved to Mother's need for a 'society wedding'."
"I would love to marry Abby in a castle." He said to her, wistfully.
"I saw that you gave her Gamma's ring. You set a date yet?"
"Yeah I did give her Gamma's ring. Your wedding was a good thing for us, Barbie. But we don't have a date yet, I don't want to rush anything, but if I could I'd marry her here before we left."
"If you are feeling up to it, why don't you and Abby come along with us to Chillon Castle. Even if you don't get married, I figure you could use the peace and quiet."
"I'd love to Barbie, are you sure we won't be in you're way. It's your honeymoon after all."
"Hey, it's a big castle," Barbara said, ruffling his hair carefully. "Johnny, is there anything else you need to tell me?"
"About what Barbie?" He said looking at her funny.
"I don't know. Mom? Dad? Why you were standing out in the middle of the street?"
A tear escaped his eye, "I.....I can't."
"Okay, Johnny. I won't push. But know if you are ready to talk, I'm here for you."
He nodded wiping the tear from his eyes, "I know you are, I'm just not ready. Don't tell Abby I sent you for that either, she'll think I'm pestering the newlyweds."
"Its not a bother. I'll see you a little later." Barbara kissed his cheek then headed out the door.
He leaned back against the bed, he could trust his sister. He closed his eyes and waited for Abby to get back, he really just wanted to get out here now. Abby hurried back toward John's room. She had changed her clothes and ran a brush through her hair. She didn't want to miss the Doctor. She saw Barbara come out of the room.
"I didn't upset him Abby, but something just doesn't seem right with him." She said to her, "he said that the doc said he could go home.
"They told me last night that they would be keeping him until morning. I just hope he can get some good sleep. He was so restless last night."
"So do I. He's not himself. I will see you a little while later."
"Don't delay your honeymoon on our account. If you call I can just keep you updated."
"I'm not John just asked me..." She stopped herself, he had asked her not to say anything.
"John asked you what?"
"To bring by the address for where we are going on our honey." She said trying to recover.
"Okay," Abby said, not believing her for a second. John and his sister had a lot in common, and not being able to lie convincingly was a trait they shared.
"Talk to him Abby not me." Barbara said walking down the hall, somehow she knew she hadn't pulled that off and had just gotten her brother in trouble with the soon-to-be Mrs. Carter.
Abby shook her head. It was more than she could deal with right now. She just needed to get John back to their room and hold him while he slept.
"Can we get out of here now." He said as he watched her walk into the room.
"Did you get your walking papers? I thought the doctor wasn't due for a few more minutes?"
"He came while you were in the ladies room. Did you need something from him?"
"No, I guess not. Did he give you a scrip for the Torodol?"
"Yeah he did." Carter handed the script to her.
"All right, lets get you dressed, Barbara brought you some clothes too. I'll get you back to the hotel, then pick up your meds."
"Thanks but I think I can do it."
"Are you sure, I don't mind. Its kind of a novel idea to put you into your clothes instead of taking you out of them," Abby said, with a slight smile.
"Sorry I just don't feel like it right now." He said running his hand thru his hair.
"Okay," Abby said as she stepped back. She couldn't believe how much that hurt her.
"I just want to go back to the hotel," he said sliding into his pants and pulling the shirt on. He left it unbuttoned, hanging open.
"I'll just go call a taxi. I'll be right back," Abby said as she hurried out of the room.
He sat there, he had snapped at her and he shouldn't have. His head hurt, his heart hurt and everyone kept asking him if everything was okay. He just wanted it to all stop so that he could take a minute to breath and get everything under control. Barbie would be at the hotel room soon, he needed to get the pain to stop. He felt like he was going insane.
Abby came back into the room. "Taxi's here, let's get you out of here, she said, but she stood at the door rather than next to John.
Something had told him that he had hurt her, he thought about telling her he was sorry. The pain that he was feeling wasn't caused by her, his mother and his father had done that to him, "I shouldn't have snapped at you, my head just really hurts Abby."
Abby went over to him and wrapped her arm around his waist. "Lets get you out of here and tucked into bed."
"I like the sound of that." He said, "I'm ready to get out of here. Lead the way sweetheart."
They got him to the car, then to the hotel without incident. Abby opened the door of the room, leading him in. He laid down on the bed, "thank you Abby."
"Let me get you some water, then I will run to the pharmacy and pick up your script."
Maybe he would get lucky and Barbie would come while she was gone. He felt guilty hiding this from Abby, but he didn't think she would understand, that she would think he was weak. "I'd appreciate that."
She reached over and kissed his forehead. "I will be back just as quick as I can."
"I know you will." He said closing his eyes to hide the tears that were there. Why did this have to be happening to them things were going so well. He hated his father right now. Carter closed his eyes and tried to sleep, he wanted to shut the world out right now. And he didn't want to admit to himself that he was shutting out Abby as well.
Barbara stood at the hotel room door. She knocked lightly, hoping she wouldn't disturb John. He heard someone knocking, he got up and walked over to the door, he opened it seeing that it was his sister a small smile crossed his face, "Hi Barbie."
"Hi, Scooter. Where's Abby?"
"She had to run out for a minute." He said to her.
"She left you here by yourself. What was so important she had to leave," Barbara said, a bit perturbed with Abby.
"She's getting me something."
"Oh, then I guess its fine. Here are your pills."
"Thanks Barbie," He said taking them from her, he put them in the dresser. "I'm glad you were able to get them for me."
"It's no problem Scooter. I'll give you a call later to see how you are feeling."
"Thanks, I think I am going to take a nap." He said to her, "I love you big sis."
"I love you too baby brother. Go lay down, I will let myself out."
He nodded and laid down on the bed. He couldn't get to sleep. He sat up and took the bottle out of the drawer and held it in his hand. His mind was telling him one thing while his heart was telling him another. He loved Abby, he would never do anything to hurt her, yet the pain from his mother's words and from his father's actions cut him to the core. He wanted that pain to go away.
The vicodin would take the pain away, at least for awhile, until he could clear his head. But could he hurt Abby that badly. If he slipped would it hurt her that bad. The pain was so bad that he didn't want to give a damn about anyone right now but himself
Carter played with the bottle in his hands. He unscrewed the lid and put it back on again. Carter placed two of them in his hand and reached for the glass of water Abby had placed next to the bed. But he couldn't bring himself to actually put them in his mouth and swallow. He could see Abby in his mind. He let the tear that was there fall. He didn't know if all this pain being gone for a moment was worth the hurt that he would put her through. God where was she, he needed her, but he couldn't let her see him like this. What would she think, Carter thought to himself. She would see him as weak and pathetic, unable to kick a habit that he himself thought that he had complete control of, and he did until he was hurt by his parents. Would she understand the pain that he was in.
He was running himself in circles, he knew that he either needed to take them and get this over with or put them down. Carter tipped his head back. He knew what he was going to do.
Abby opened the door. She looked toward the bed. Why was John sitting up and not sleeping? He stopped; he didn't expect her back yet. Abby stopped in her tracks, there was a pill bottle on the nightstand. Carter looked at her, tears welled in his eyes. He didn't want her to see him like this. He was afraid of what she was going to think of him now.
"John," she said softy. She reached out and grabbed both his hands. "Can you talk to me?"
He looked away from her afraid to say anything. Closing his hand tighter, he pulled the right one back out of her reach.
Abby felt him withdraw from her. This was going to be the hardest thing she had ever done. She needed to get through to him, to let him know that everything was going to be ok. She just wasn't sure how to do it.
He wanted to forget about everything that had happened, everything he had seen. But the images just kept forming in his mind.
Abby took a deep breath. She was going to have to be strong. "John, I need you to talk to me."
He looked at her his eyes meeting with hers. He knew that he needed to get this out, or it was going to eat him alive. He knew that he could trust her, she wasn't the one who had hurt him.
"Baby, there is nothing you can say that would make me turn away from you."
"Please," Abby said, almost pleading. "Talk to me."
Carter looked at Abby. He wasn't sure how to tell her what he was thinking.
Abby could feel the tears welling up in her eye. She tried so hard to hold them back, she had to be strong, but one tear slid down her cheek.
He tried to form the words to tell her, "I......I....." was all that he could get out.
"Breathe, John," she said softly. "Just take some slow deep breaths, in through your nose out through your mouth."
"I hate them." He wanted to scream.
"It's ok. Just let it out."
"It hurts, Abby it hurts so bad." He started to cry, the tears slipped down his check. "I love you but I hate them, I hate both of them for what they did to me. I want to be happy but they won't let me."
"John, they have no power over you. You are your own man, and you have been for a very long time."
"He took you in his arms and kissed you Abby. My own father! He didn't give a damn about me when he did it. Do you know what it was like to look across that room and see that."
"I can't say that I know how you feel. I can imagine it would be very hurtful to see. But, please, please don't forget, I love you, and nothing he does will change that.
"I want them to leave me alone Abby. I want the pain of this gone. I didn't want you too see me like this, begging, pleading, sneaking around to ease my pain. I knew that these would take the pain away." He opened his hand.
"Oh, John," Abby said, at a loss for the words that would make this better.
"I'm only human Abby. I can't pretend anymore that I have this under control all the time. I told the doctor at the hospital that I was taking vicodan for a back injury and that I had run out. I lied to get what I thought would make it better." He looked in her eyes, "please don't hate me Abby, I couldn't bear for you to hate me because I am weak."
"I don't hate you, and you are not weak. They gave you something last night, which you probably didn't know about. And with all things that have been going on, it didn't take much to start the cravings. But you and I both know that you are strong and that you will get through this because you are not alone this time."
"I don't want to be alone Abby. I am terrified of being alone. I have been alone my entire life. They shipped me off right after Bobby died and that was the end of my happy family. I need you Abby, you are the only one good thing left in my life. The only one I have that I can trust not to stab me in the back. I am so sorry. I don't want to be like this. I can't be like this. Take these please I don't want them. I don't want them to ruin us. I want to hear you say I love you to me for the rest of your life. I want a family with you."
"John, I pledged my heart to you forever yesterday. And just because we weren't standing in front of the minister doesn't make it less real. Those vows say better or worse. Today is the worse, we can survive today and reach the better. Together.
"Abby, I love you so much, I don't ever want to hurt you, ever." He ran his hands thru his hair and started to sob. "I can't do this by myself anymore, I don't want to pretend anymore that everything is alright, it's not."
Abby pulled him to her, holding him close. Together they cried. Their tears ran together, but soon they became tears of healing, rather then tears of pain.
John looked up at her, "Abby, Barbara has invited us to go with them to where they are having their honeymoon, I want to marry you in that castle. I want you to have a fairy tale wedding. I want to give you the world and all it has to offer, will you please say yes."
"I don't need a big wedding. I just need you"
"You have me heart and soul Abby. The thought of you was the only thing that kept me from taking those."
Abby held out her hand to let John drop the pills in it. "Just remember, you can always talk to me. I will always be here for you."
He gave them to her, "I...I know. You are a gift from God Abby."
"And so are you."
He looked at her, he loved her, he knew that no matter what he could bear his soul to her and she wouldn't think any less of him. He was exhausted.
"Abby I am so tired."
"Lets get undressed, and under the covers, we both need to sleep."
He slipped out of his clothing and under the cover, "will you be here when I wake."
"I wouldn't be anywhere else."
He let out a sigh as sleep over took his worn out body. He needed her and she was there with him.
They slept most of the day, waking briefly to have John take some torodol or to use the bathroom.
John awoke and was starting to feel better, he had the woman he loved laying next to him under the covers. Carter pulled her next to him and began to nibble on the back of her neck. "Abby, I love you."
"I love you, too John."
He thought about going out to the castle with Barbie. If he was going to do this they had a lot to do. "You really just want a small wedding Abby?"
"I do. Just you and me, and the witnesses. I don't need a big production, I just need you."
"I think it might step on a few toes if we do it over here, but I don't want to wait until we get back to Chicago."
"Maybe we can have a big reception when we get back home. The only thing is I don't want to leave Susan out. She has been a good friend, and I think she should be part of this."
"It's her feelings that I am most afraid of hurting," He said, "she has been a good friend. Do you think that she would mind being a part of it over the phone?"
Abby thought about that a minute. "You know, that could work. I wonder if she can be an official witness if she is just on the phone."
"I don't know," He said, "Barbie and Kevin are leaving tomorrow. How are we going to pull all of this together. Since we haven't had the greatest of vacations....guess I just can't leave the ER at home."
"Well, what do we really need? A license, and two rings."
"Well and a minister, and you need a dress, and oh what the hell, yes Abby we just need you me, and two rings." He said smiling at her.
"A dress would be nice, but its not essential. It doesn't matter what we wear, but what's in our hearts."
"Abby what ever you want," He said, "I want it to be special for you, the way that you want it with no family member pushing us to do it one way or another. I've never cared for high society."
"The one thing I do want is some pictures, so that we have pictures to show our kids someday."
"Kids, Abby?"
"Don't you want kids?"
"Yeah I do, but I just thought that you didn't , I mean after everything."
"I have been afraid of having children, but with you at my side, I can do it. You are going to be a great daddy." Abby said, stroking his face.
"We can do it together." He said. "I'll have Barbie help me arrange for a license for us, and I'm sure she can also find someone to perform the ceremony on such short notice." A smile crept across his face.
"We are really going to do this, aren't we," Abby said, excitement growing in her voice. " We are going to be married."
"Unless you change your mind." He said grinning at her, "I want this more than I have wanted anything in my life Abby."
"I don't plan on changing my mind," Abby said, snuggling closer to John.
"I know you don't," He said wrapping his arms around her, "I'll call Barbie after bit."
"Sounds good to me. Are we telling anyone else?"
His smile faded, "no we aren't."
Abby could have kicked herself. Why did she say that.
"I know how my family feels Abby," He said, "I am not going to let them ruin this day for me. You and I are right and if they can't be happy for me, I don't need them."
Abby held him close. "If you want, we can tell them when we get back and if you don't want to we'll just send them an announcement."
"If I ever decide to tell them. Gamma is the only one who cares about me Abby and she's the only one who I will tell before."
"And I guess I will call Maggie after we get back to Chicago."
"Oh God Abby I am so sorry I didn't even think of your family." He said.
"I would have liked Eric to be there, but since that isn't possible right now," Abby's voice trailed off.
I know," He said running his hand down the back of her head, "I know it's not easy on you."
"But," she said, lifting her head back up and looking John in the eyes, "I refuse to let anything ruin our day."
Nothing will ruin it Abby." He said looking at her, "We've waited to long for this." His eyes were getting heavy again. "you know I might have to sleep thru everything unless I stop taking that stuff. How long can a headache last."
"All I can say is that if you try to weasel out of our wedding night by saying you have a headache, you will have bigger problems than your head," Abby said with a playful glint in her eye.
"I would never do that to you." He said closing his eyes, "you will have everything you deserve and then some."
"Get some sleep, baby," Abby said as she shimmied back under the covers.
He was asleep. A peaceful rest, no one was haunting him, yelling at him or tell him that he making a mistake. He loved Abby. He had known that for a long time. He was going to make this the greatest day of her life, he just almost wished that their time here wasn't half gone. He would be back to the grind of the ER soon, only one thing would be different, there would be two Carters working in the ER.
Abby woke to the sound of the phone ringing. Since John was still asleep she reached over him and answered it. "Hello," she said.
"Hey how's Scooter." Barbara asked.
"He's asleep right now, but he has something important to tell you so let me wake him," she said, as she poked John in the ribs.
"What," he said grunting at her.
"Your sister is on the phone. Do you want to tell her or do you want me to?"
"You do it." He said rolling back over. "I'm tired."
"Barbara, John said that you invited us to go to a castle with you and Kevin. We decided we are going to get married there. Can you help us with some of the details?"
"Congrats Abby, yes of course I can help you with the details. What we've got to get the license and the minister and of course we will have to get you a dress." She said excitedly all in one breath.
"I don't need a dress," Abby said, smiling at Barbara's enthusiasm.
"What do you mean you don't need a dress Abby, of course you do, I will come and get you and we will you one and the other stuff taken care of." She said.
"I guess," Abby said. " Let me be sure it is ok with John. She poked John in the ribs again.
"Now what." He said pulling the blanket over his head.
"Barbara wants to take me to get some of the details take care of. Is that okay with you?"
"Will you let me sleep if I say yes?" He said opening one eye enough to look at her.
"Sure I will."
"Go then." He said chuckling. "Have fun. I'm going back to sleep."
"Are you sure you will be okay alone here?" Abby asked, the tension of the morning still in her mind.
He knew what she was thinking with out her having to say it, "take them with you."
"It's not that I don't trust you. I just want to be sure you are okay."
"I know," he said to her, "If I can sleep I'll be fine. And it's hard to do that with you gabbing at me Abigail Carter."
"Are you sure you are going to be alright. You probably do need to rest more."
"I haven't officially married you yet and you're already nagging." He said,.
"You can always back out."
"You had better go with her before I pull you back under these cover's and remind you why you love me."
"Oh, God. I forgot Barbara was still on the phone." Abby put the receiver back up to her ear. "Barbara are you still there?"
"Yeah, so it's it going to be me and shopping, or my baby brother," she said.
"Since he wants to sleep, I guess its you."
"I can be there in 5. We'll go and get your license before the ministry closes." She said, "can you be ready and down front?"
Abby looked down at her lack of clothing, "Give me ten."
"Okay, I will be there in 10." She said, "tell my brother I am happy for him."
"If I wake him up again, he might change his mind. I'll tell him when we get back."
"I understand Abby, I'll be there in 10." Barbara said. She set down the phone and headed out to get her soon to be sister-in-law.
Abby hurriedly got dressed, put the bottle of vicodin into her purse then went downstairs to meet Barbara.
"Are you ready to go," Barbara asked Abby when she saw her in the lobby.
"I am. Where to first?"
"I pulled a few Carter strings on the way over here, they can do a license for you and John. We just have to swing over to the ministry and pick it up. If you'll pick a time, I have a friend who owes me a couple and said he would marry you two."
"Oh, Barbara, that is wonderful. What do you think of sunset tomorrow?"
"Abby I couldn't think of a better time. It will be so beautiful. We will have to find you a dress too." They had driven a few blocks and the car had stopped, "let's go get that license. By this time tomorrow you will legally be bound to my brother...Lord help you Abby." She said laughing
"John was my gift from Him."
Barbara chuckled as she opened the door, "I was able to give him all of John's information but you'll have to tell them yours Abby," She said, "I'm sorry that I don't know more about my new sister."
"I hope we get a chance to know each other better."
"We will. John never said how long you two were going to be here." She said pointing Abby where she needed to go as the walked up to a desk, "I called earlier for a marriage license for my brother John Carter." She said to the clerk.
"Yes miss, we just need to ask the bride a couple of questions and then you can have it."
"I can't believe I am going to be a bride" Abby said, her hands starting to shake a little.
"I just need your full name and if you've been married before." He said, "It's just for our records."
"Abigail Rachel Wyczenski Lockhart. And yes, I have been married before."
He disappeared for a minute and handed her a piece of paper, "congratulations."
Barbara turned to her, "Let's go find that dress and get you back with my brother, after yesterday I'm not crazy about leaving him alone."
"I'm not either. Hopefully we can find something quick. It took me 18 dresses until I picked out the one I wore to your wedding."
Barbara led her into a bridal shop, "I'm sure we can find something in here."
Abby's eyes widened. There were hundreds of dresses. "If I can find anything here there is something wrong with me."
"I know you'll find what you want." Barbara said to her, "and I know you'll look stunning in it."
John was having a hard time sleeping now that Abby was gone. He got up and walked over to the phone. He figured that he might as well call Gamma and give her the good news. Carter dialed his grandmother's phone number and waited for her to pick up.
"Hello," she answered.
"Gamma, it's John." He said.
"How are you feeling. I would have visited you last night, but Abby was like a tigress protecting her cub."
"I know Gamma, Abby just loves me, but I wanted to tell you before you heard it from someone else, Abby and I are getting married."
"I know."
"You do Gamma?" He asked a little shocked.
"I saw the ring on her finger, and I saw the way she stood up to your mother. The only think I don't know is when."
"Tomorrow I think Gamma, she's out with Barbara. They were getting things together. I'd wait until we were back in Chicago, but I can't. She's too special and I've waited to long for her, I love her Gamma. I hope your not disappointed in me." He said remembering his mother's words.
"Why in the world would I be disappointed in you?"
"Mother just said that you would. No one else seems to think she's good enough for me, but I know she is and I know she loves me for who I am, even with all my faults and flaws."
"John, your mother hasn't a clue what I think. I have seen the two of you together and I know she makes you happy and that is what's matters. I don't care what family she comes from, or what she does for a living. She makes my grandson happy, and that is all that is important."
"Thank you Gamma." He said to her, "I am happy with Abby. I'm not telling anyone else and we are going to have a small ceremony."
"Show me some pictures when I get home."
"I will Gamma, I will." He said wiping the tear from his eye, "I will see you in Chicago."
"Tell Abby welcome to the family, and that next time I see her, I expect her to call me Gamma.
"I will. That means a lot to me."
"You two remind me of your grandfather and myself. And we know how that turned out.
"I know Gamma." He said. "I need to finish packing and lay down. I'm starting to get tired again."
"Take care. I love you."
"I love you too." He said laying down the phone. He packed up what they had managed to unpack then lay down on the bed to wait for Abby.
Abby breezed back into the room, her hands empty.
John looked up at her, "did you get everything done...your empty handed."
"Barbara has my dress, she didn't want you seeing it ahead of time. Your sister can be very old fashioned."
Yes she can be." He said, "did you get anything else done?" he propped himself up on one elbow.
"Yep, we have a license, a minister and I have your ring."
"I'm glad." He said going quiet.
"What's wrong?"
"I've been here the entire time you've been out. I don't have yours." He said almost hanging his head.
"Baby, you gave me this beautiful engagement ring. That's enough."
"I have the one that I was going to give you as a Valentine's day present. It's not much, but...."
"You bought me something for Valentines day," she said, amazed.
"I know it's not been an easy holiday for me, but Abby I want to start over with you. So yes I went out and got you something."
"Now I feel bad. I didn't get you anything."
"You have given me more in the last two days than I could ever ask for."
"I think I have one chocolate pig left," she said, laughing.
He smiled at her as he pulled her down onto the bed with him, "I'm glad Barbara didn't throw a big hissy fit over it being bad luck for me to be with you tonight." He said kissing her.
"She thought about it, but she didn't want you to be alone, and she figured it wasn't fair to Kevin to have a house guest just yet."
"I'm glad because I want to spend the rest of the night with you wrapped in my arms telling you how much I love you."
"Besides, I can only sleep if you are next to me," Abby said, smiling shyly.
"Tomorrow you'll be legally mine and you'll have to sleep here next to me forever."
"I don't want to be anywhere else."
"I'm glad Abby." He looked at her for a minute, "I know this may be a silly question to be asking you."
"What?"
"Are you going to change your name?" He asked. He had been thinking about it, with her nursing license he knew it was a pain.
"Oh course. Why would I want to keep Richard's name."
"I know it's a pain to change your license over. I just wasn't sure if you'd want to do it."
"I will be proud to have your name. And what's a little paperwork in exchange."
He smiled at her, "I love you so much Abby. What time are we leaving."
"Barbara said to be ready by 9."
"Okay." He said, "oh Abby, I never asked you, what time are you becoming my wife."
"At sunset."
He closed his eyes, "I couldn't have dreamed of a more perfect time."
"I hoped you would approve"
"I do." Carter said to her.
"Just remember those words for tomorrow."
"I'll remember those words for the rest of my life Abby." He meant it.
"Good night love." He said as he kissed her cheek.
She kissed him back. "Night, Baby."