Disclaimer: I do not own FY – Yuu Watase does. I do own the ketsu and everything that's not from the canon series.
Musical selection: Wanja the Wanderer – Andreas Vollenweider from the Harpestry CD
Author's Notes: To warn everyone, this may be the last chapter I put up for quite some time. I will try my damndest not to do what I did last year (i.e. put up a chapter just before school starts and not put another up until the summer). However, this chapter is nice and long so that it can last for a few months, at least. Thank you all for reading, and I hope to be back soon.
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Miaka had rehearsed everything that was supposed to happen, but she was still a little surprised to see how easily all the words came from her mouth. Gee, if I'd have known it was this easy, maybe I wouldn't have been so stubborn at first… Shaking away her thoughts, Miaka turned her mind back to the summoning.
"Suzaku-seikun, on this day, at this ceremony, I would ask that you grant upon us three blessings of your power. I ask first that Konan would be protected forever from Kutou's anger and war. I ask second that you help us find the ketsu killer so that no one else is endangered. I ask lastly that you help all your children find happiness here." And that Yui-chan comes home to me.
The statement of wishes was done more for the benefit of the ceremony rather than the summoning. Her recitation was done with the express purpose of making the Seishi aware of the Miko's intents, so that Miaka could not make purely selfish wishes. This next part was, however, directly related to the summoning.
"Suzaku-seikun, it is now that we open ourselves to you. It is now that we offer ourselves as a sacrifice for the salvation of this land."
With that, the Chosen Suzaku no Shichiseishi put their hands together in prayer as they silently recited their specific mantras, all the while focusing their ki on Miaka. The ketsu also repeated the benediction with their heads bowed in adoration, and Miaka smiled as she gently brushed the minds of the blessed animals, hearing segments of the prayers herself.
'God of Konan, open our eyes and our hearts to your works of beauty…'
'Suzaku-seikun, bless those we love that are away from us…'
'Lord of the southern skies, who has given us this good land for our heritage, save us from violence…'
'Heavenly Suzaku, descend upon us with the grace of peace and love…'
'God of my heart, guide our souls to the ways of wisdom and truth…'
'Watch over my home, fiery Suzaku, and watch over all your people…'
'O god of love, I entrust all who is dear to me into your never-ending care and love…'
As she listened to each prayer, the words filled her senses beyond reasoning. Miaka allowed her soul to float freely from her body, rising higher with the flames burning before her. Though her rational mind knew it was only the overwhelming sensation of fourteen powerful ki-energies entering her body, her spiritual self knew that this was what it meant to summon the beast god. Each act of devotion brought her higher and higher until she nearly believed herself to be flying over Konan, watching the country with loving, godlike eyes.
This is what I was meant to do. Houjun was right. It's going to be all right.
Though Miaka could hear the voices of the ketsu as if they were shouting in her ears, she was still surprised when she realized that the Shrine was dead silent. The only sound she could make out was the fire crackling before her. Her voice was amplified by this stillness off every corner as she began the final recitation.
"I summon all the great forces of justice, faith, and good will from the Four Corners of Heaven and the Four Quarters of the earth to call on you, the Divine Suzaku. We ask that you descend from the seven constellations to the earth, to protect us, and destroy all evil with your divine powers for the sake of the people who worship you."
Her heart was pounding so hard she thought it would break free of her chest, and Miaka nearly cried as she shouted the last of the ritualistic phrases.
"We summon you thus! Descend upon us from the heavens!"
And she threw the ShiJinTenChiSho into the fire, praying and pleading with all her might as she watched the paper become ashes right before her eyes.
Suzaku I summon you I summon you I summon you NOW!
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When the bells had rung, it sent signals throughout all of Konan, to both the people and the ketsu. Seishi alerted the townspeople, who made sure to rouse their families into a state of devotion around the bondmates. For the towns too large for a mind-web, the people were simply told to pray to Suzaku for peace. But as Shun'u and many others had predicted, there were so many people that the edict couldn't be completely enforced. Peace, even for a moment, was impossible to find in a land without their god's protection. Enemies still fought; bandits still stole.
And the ketsu killer took one more life as the Suzaku no Miko summoned her god.
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Miaka realized something was terribly wrong when… nothing happened. She had been worried at the very beginning of the ceremony that something might go wrong, but as she went through the motions and rituals those fears had left her. Now, however, she could feel them creeping back into her stomach. The Seishi and ketsu had stopped praying and were watching the flames with anxious faces; if neither they nor she could sense anything, then the summoning must not have gone correctly.
And when she saw Takeshi suddenly pitch forward in a dead faint, Miaka's terror was brought up full-force.
"'Keshi!" Saihitei shouted as he dove to catch his ketsu. He managed to grab the eagle in his arms before Takeshi hit the floor, but Saihitei did not get up. The Emperor of Konan was prostrate on the ground as he cried out in pain, trying to hold Takeshi and clutch his breast at the same time. The tormented moans he emitted scared Miaka more than any assassin she had come across.
The world began to dissolve into chaos after that. The ketsu, one right after the other, fell unconscious at the feet of their Seishi, who cried out their names in traumatized voices. Yet mere moments after the ketsu had fallen, the Seishi themselves were been forced to the ground. Some held their heads as if it was falling off. Others held themselves around the waist, lying tightly in the fetal position. All screamed and writhed with pain.
The Suzaku no Miko watched all this, paralyzed by fear with her mouth hanging open and her eyes wet with despair. She knew she should be acting but she was so shocked at the sight before her that her body refused to move. This can't be right! This isn't what's supposed to happen! Where's Suzaku, where is our god? Why isn't he here? WHY?
She finally opened her mouth to scream for help, but her own chest exploded in agony and stole her breath. A half-breath later, her head began to pound as it had when the Kutou soldiers knocked her unconscious. With a shriek high enough to shatter glass, Miaka too was forced to the ground. She wanted to faint, she wanted to be sick, she wanted to rip herself to pieces and make the world go away.
Suzaku, make it stop! She knew tears were running down her cheeks, but the pain was so all encompassing that she could barely hear the sounds of the others in pain, though she remembered how loudly they were crying out. She couldn't even make herself think or care about them. Minutes, hours, days passed as she tried to make the stabbing in her chest disappear - let me die Suzaku let me die make it stop oh please god make it stop make it stop… - so when she finally heard the sound of a flute breaking through and destroying the pain, all she could feel was overwhelming relief. Then her thoughts finally kicked in.
Flute? Who could be playing a flute at a time like this?
Koutoku!
The realization was all it took for Miaka to suddenly open her eyes and see Koutoku standing behind Kishuku and Toshi, playing with the most intense concentration she'd ever seen. He was staring right back at her, in fact, and she watched the symbol under his headband throb a violent blue in time to the music. The music itself was loud and harsh - she could sense neither harmony nor melody - but she could sense its purpose. It was an angry scream, fighting against an unseen and unbeatable foe. And as she listened to the song, her pain receded in small but frequent waves. When she was able to sit up, Miaka saw the rest of the Seishi starting to regain their bearings. One by one, everyone was sitting up looking healthy – albeit worried for their ketsu. The animals did not awaken, but right now Miaka felt so overjoyed to her friends alive and well again that she couldn't bring herself to care. Then Ryuuen turned and shouted as he pointed at Koutoku.
When Miaka looked back at him, she gasped loudly. The Seiryuu musician was now white as snow, his character flickering like a candle caught in a raging storm. He swayed back and forth on his feet, and she saw he was beginning to double over.
Oh Suzaku, no! He's absorbing the illness we were hit with!
"Koutoku, stop!" Miaka screamed. "You're going to kill yourself!"
His blue eyes, usually so vibrant and alive, were clouded over in sickness. Still, he gazed triumphantly at her. As he finished the song - not because he wanted to, but because breathing was becoming so strenuous - Koutoku said, "Told you… I was here to he-"
Miaka covered her hands with her mouth when she saw him tumble bonelessly to the ground. Kishuku, the hero that he was, made it in time to grab an arm and slowly bring him to the carpet. Once Koutoku was on his back, the Tamahome Seishi pulled out a small yellow bird from the inside of Koutoku's tunic. Tears threatened Miaka's eyes when she saw how still little Heisei was.
"I think she's still alive," he said, touching the creature's breast. "I can feel her heart beating."
Juan, holding a still-unconscious Tama in one arm, came beside Koutoku. All watched him trying to tap his power, and Miaka felt a cold chill go down her back when she saw how his symbol wouldn't appear. Juan looked up with worried, knowing eyes and said, "We are powerless. The summoning took all but our essential ki."
"Is he alive?" Miaka asked weak-kneed. She felt physically well, but after everything that had just happened, Miaka was so unsteady that she tripped on the last step and landed on her hands and knees beside Koutoku. "Please tell me he's alive."
The doctor touched the boy's throat. He said nothing for a few seconds, then nodded. "He's alive… but just barely."
"Well… what do we do?"
Juan looked up at her. "Call a healer. Get someone here to help Koutoku."
"That will be unnecessary," a booming voice echoed throughout the Shrine. Spinning around, Miaka looked to each of her Seishi, wondering if the sound came from them. They, too, looked as puzzled as she felt.
Except Houjun, who was kneeling in place and looking into the fire.
"Taiitsu-kun," he whispered in respectful awe.
Miaka's gaze was drawn to the flames, and out of nowhere the ugliest old hag's face sprang up from the fire. The Suzaku no Miko screamed loudly, and she felt a little better knowing that everyone around her did the same thing.
"Brats…" the old woman muttered, then turned her awful glare on Miaka. "So, Suzaku no Miko, at last we meet."
"Are you… are you Sunakake Baba?"
"NO!" the crone barked as she whapped Miaka on the head. "You children have no respect for your elders."
"Sorry." Old hag! That was mean! She pouted, rubbing the newly acquired bump. "Who are you?"
"I am Taiitsu-kun, the Controller and Oracle of this world. And I am extremely angry at you, Suzaku no Miko!"
Miaka stood up and walked closer to the brazier. "Wh… what? Why? Where's Suzaku, and why did you come?"
"Why am I so angry? Oh, no reason whatsoever!" Taiitsu-kun said, her gritty voice getting louder. "Oh, perhaps because you've utterly utterly botched the summoning ceremony. Suzaku-seikun is not here because you failed to follow the directions in the ShiJinTenChiSho.
"Now you'll never be able to summon Suzaku!"
At this, Miaka felt her knees finally give way, and she slumped to the floor. I failed I failed I failed how could I fail? Her heart had fallen into her stomach, and she felt as if she was being eaten from the inside out. I couldn't have failed. We did everything right. "But Taiitsu-kun… why did it –"
Taiitsu-kun interrupted her, the rant hitting Miaka ever harder with each word. "And after all that is done for you! You are given the ketsu for wisdom and guidance, but you did not trust in them! Instead, you rampaged forward, burning the ShiJinTenChiSho and sending whatever chance you had to bring peace to Konan into smoke! You might have even killed these ketsu because of your foolish single-mindedness"
At this, Miaka burst into tears. She had been trying so hard to hold them back, trying to be dignified and adult about the situation. Yet when she was told how this blunder of an attempt to summon Suzaku would affect those around her, she couldn't stop crying. I didn't mean to hurt anyone! I just wanted to summon Suzaku and make everything all better.
Kishuku came to her rescue. "Hey, you old crone! Leave Miaka alone - it's not totally her fault!"
"And who are you calling a crone?!" Taiitsu-kun yelled, turning on the Tamahome Seishi. The look she gave him, combined with a sudden burst of flames behind her, made the Controller seem that much more imposing.
"Uh, I mean… I just -"
"No, Kishuku. It's okay."
Everyone was watching Miaka, who was furiously swiping at her eyes. "I'm sorry that I couldn't summon Suzaku. And it's not because of the wishes I won't get. It's that so many people have given up something to get us here. All the attacks on our lives, all the people that died protecting Konan… for Yui and Koutoku and everyone that's been hurt because of us - all of that pain has been for nothing. Nothing!"
She caught a quick hiccup of a breath before going on. "And it was all for the sake of this ceremony - this moment! When it came time to summon Suzaku, I couldn't do it! It doesn't matter that I had all the Seishi here helping me. It was my job to do this right, and I didn't! Just when I finally accepted my fate, I couldn't fulfill my obligation. And that's why I'm so upset."
Sniffing and unceremoniously wiping her nose on her robe, Miaka knelt before Taiitsu-kun and awaited further punishment. She felt a hand on her shoulder, and knew without looking that it was Kishuku giving her strength.
Thank you.
Taiitsu-kun turned on Houjun. "She's not as immature as I thought."
"She's not as immature as the rest of the world would believe, no da," he murmured. "And if Miaka-san is to blame, so am I. I taught her, and if my teaching was flawed, then the reproach should come to me."
"No, it is not just you," Saihitei said. "We should have known that our country needed more care than a simple edict. We are also to hold condemnation."
"I think I speak for all of us when we say it's not just Miaka's fault," Kishuku agreed, rising beside his Miko. "And we'll continue to defend her, though I'd really like to know why it's our fault the summoning didn't work."
Although she still felt horrible about her inability to summon Suzaku, reassurance flowed into Miaka when she heard all the Seishi stand up for her. Taiitsu-kun studied them for a few moments in silence, her eyes as enigmatic as the mountains.
"Since you all show a great deal of maturity, I will tell you another way to summon Suzaku, and perhaps you can tell me why this one didn't work."
"What?!" Miaka jumped up, running closer to the fires. "How? Please, tell us how to summon Suzaku!"
Taiitsu-kun clicked her tongue in disdain. "Child, if you are to be the Chosen Suzaku no Miko, you should learn to conduct yourself with a bit more restraint."
"Yes, Taiitsu-kun," she said meekly, bowing down.
"Much better."
"Hate ta interrupt this Miss Manners lesson, but Genrou's still blacked out, and I'd be really fuckin' grateful if ya kin help him," Shun'u cut in angrily.
"And Koutoku, too," Ryuuen said.
Looking around her, Taiitsu-kun took stock of the situation. "Seven Suzaku ketsu, one Seiryuu ketsu, and one Seiryuu Seishi. My, but if this isn't going to set the bar for the most interesting summoning." Putting her hands together in prayer, the Oracle began to murmur a multitude of spells. A thrill ran through Miaka when she saw all the ketsu begin to stir, which was near nothing compared to the joy of her Seishi brothers.
"Thank Suzaku," Doukun whispered, hugging Chie tightly. "I thought I lost you again." The owl lovingly pecked his ear.
With Tama lounging in his arms, Juan asked, "What happened to them?"
"They were in a state of great weakness," Taiitsu-kun explained. "You Seishi became ravaged with illness, while your ketsu were drained of nearly all their ki. They're lucky to have only been unconscious rather than dead."
"Thanks for the uplifting fact," Ryuuen muttered, and Kohana nuzzled him affectionately.
Without bothering to hit the Nuriko Seishi, Taiitsu-kun turned her attention on Koutoku. "I will take care of this boy. He absorbed all the negative ki from you Seishi into his body. To safely remove it without destroying him, I will take him back to Mount Taikyoku for healing." Again, speaking powerful spells under her breath, Miaka watched Koutoku's body become transparent and finally disappear. When he was gone, Taiitsu-kun said, "I do not know how long it will take me to exorcise the darkness. This has never happened before, and with such a large amount of ki due to the summoning, it could take me months to completely cure him."
"Just take care of him, please. He saved our lives," Doukun said, turning bright green eyes on the Oracle. She sniffed and ignored him.
"So… what's this about another chance?" Kishuku said from his seat beside Toshi. "We're ready to try again."
"Hell yeah!" Shun'u said, punching his fist up. "We're ready. We were born fuckin' ready!"
"Before anyone gets too excited, I need to tell you how difficult this summoning will be," Taiitsu-kun said, her voice more serious than they'd heard so far.
"What happens now?" Saihitei questioned.
"The hardships you have seen so far will be nothing in comparison to what lies ahead," the Controller explained. "The bond between the Suzaku no Miko and her Seishi much be unbreakable. I cannot stress this fact enough - you must be totally dedicated to your quest and one another, or you will fail again. This mission I may send you on will be the hardest thing you face in your life, without question. So I will ask you once: do you have the complete and absolute determination to do whatever it takes to summon Suzaku? Is your strength of will enough, Suzaku no Miko?"
"It is!" Miaka replied, standing up and looking Taiitsu-kun in the eye. "I will fulfill this obligation, for those that have been hurt and those that have helped."
Taiitsu-kun watched her with a look that could almost have been respectful. " Then I will tell you are to do.
"You are to go to Hokkan and beg of the Chosen Genbu Seishi for one of their wishes. With it, they can give you the ability to call Suzaku. If you cannot accomplish that, go to Sairou and beg of the Chosen Byakko Seishi for one of their wishes."
Miaka's mouth dropped open. "I have to get one of the other country's wishes? How… how are we supposed to do that?"
"Didn't I just emphasize how difficult this mission would be?" Taiitsu-kun scolded her. "It is known, to the gods and myself, that the four countries are dangerously close to ruin. The Chosen Seishi are all being called now, and if you can make your plea worthwhile, perhaps you can convince them to help you."
It was almost more than Miaka could stand. She knew how important these wishes were - she couldn't bear the idea of giving any of her own wishes away. To go to the Byakko no Miko or Genbu no Miko with her appeal, she wouldn't be surprised if they got thrown out of the country. But there was one more Miko…
"What about Yui-chan? What about the Seiryuu no Miko? Can't I ask her?" Miaka thought hopefully, driving Houjun's advice out of her head. "Maybe she'd help me."
At this, Taiitsu-kun sighed in a very human fashion. "There are things I need to discuss with you in private. But for the moment, if you are all so decided and in agreement with Miaka" heads nodded around the circle "then I have something for you."
The Oracle stretched out her arm towards the Seishi, and small globes of light floated before each one. The light expanded, and when it cleared each man gaped at what they held.
In Saihitei's hands was a beautiful sword, ornately decorated with the symbols and colors of Suzaku. Juan held a small bottle of water, and Houjun wore an extra talisman on his prayer beads. Shun'u's tessen became pure diamond instead of simple iron, while Doukun tenderly cradled at a thick scroll of parchment.
"What are these?" Ryuuen asked, touching the bracelets on his wrists. "Not that I mind new fashion accessories…"
"These are rewards for your efforts. Your ketsu are also now more powerful," she clarified, looking at the ketsu. "Stronger telepathy, stronger physical attributes."
'Your Greatness is too kind,' Shonin said reverently.
'We are eternally grateful,' Genrou bowed, as the rest of the ketsu followed his motion.
"Yes, yes. Just try and keep your Seishi in line."
'We'll try.'
'No promises, though.'
"What about me?" Kishuku asked excitedly. "What do I get?"
The wisewoman 'hmphed'. "You get nothing. I didn't think you'd really want something from an 'old crone', now would you?"
A dark cloud hovered over the Tamahome Seishi's head. "N-n-nothing? After all I've been through? You gotta be kidding me…" He blinked for a few seconds, then tackled Juan. "Mine! I want!"
"Oh, Miaka," Taiitsu-kun said, turning from the wrestling match. "I have something for you too. Close your eyes." Following the instructions, Miaka hoped that whatever she was getting was as interesting as Saihitei's sword. But then she felt something like cotton hitting her skin, and she opened her eyes to see a gray powder dusted on her robe. "These are the ashes of the ShiJinTenChiSho. Your powers have increased, and perhaps you'll one day be able to utilize them to their fullest."
Miaka made a face, then let a slow smile show through. "Thank you, Taiitsu-kun. I will do my best."
"Damn right we will!" Shun'u nodded firmly.
"We're not letting you go off on your own," Houjun said warmly.
Though she knew, logically, that the Seishi would follow her wishes, it still felt good to hear them support her. And when Kishuku leaned on her shoulder and said, "Count me in too," Miaka thought her heart would burst.
"Well, I better go get ready!"
"WAIT!" Taiitsu-kun said sharply. "Your Seishi must go, but I have to talk to you privately."
"Oh… about what?"
"I need answers, so if all of you would be kind enough to leave…"
The seven pairs left with polite goodbyes, and Miaka was left kneeling before the Oracle. "What do you need to talk to me about? The summoning? Didn't you mention it earlier?"
"A few things, actually. First off, you are aware that your friend Yui is the Seiryuu no Miko."
A knot reformed back in Miaka's stomach. "I… had thought so. I didn't really want to believe…"
"Well, she is. However, I suspect that you did not know that Koutoku was the Chosen Amiboshi Seishi. Without him, she cannot summon Seiryuu."
Miaka gasped. Sweet Koutoku is a Chosen Seiryuu… how can that be? "How -"
"His past is not important now. The point I want to get across is that Koutoku is incapacitated at the moment, and he is not able to help the Seiryuu no Miko with the summoning. So if Yui cannot summon Seiryuu with only six Seishi… you know what that means, right?"
The knot turned into a steel ball in her chest. "That Yui-chan will want the same thing from Sairou and Hokkan. She'll want a wish, too"
"Ah, so you are paying attention. But following that thought, it is very likely that you will have to fight her and the Seiryuu Seishi, if you happen to meet up."
Miaka winced and closed her eyes. Just like Houjun said… I might have to fight to protect my country. Oh, Suzaku, I wish it wasn't so.
"I also have to give you a rather large warning, though with your situation being what it is, it could be a smaller detail than you'd like," Taiitsu-kun said dryly.
"Yes?"
"You are not to have physical relations with anyone. It is required that the Miko remain pure - a virgin - for the summoning to occur. So until Suzaku had been called, you are not to cross that line with any of your Seishi. Please don't tell me that is why you were unable to summon Suzaku."
"NO!" Miaka shouted in disguest, then quailed under Taiitsu-kun's evil eye. "No, I'm still… pure." The small daydream of being kissed by Kishuku suddenly felt a lot farther away. Can this get any worse?
"Good. Now, my final question. Do you know why the summoning failed?"
"Uhm… because there wasn't peace in Konan?"
For the first time, the Oracle looked close to flabbergasted. It quickly changed to anger. "WHAT? Peace in Konan? Where in the seven circles of hell did you come up with that incredibly stupid notion?"
"It said so in the ShiJinTenChiSho!" Miaka argued. "The symbols said peace over and over! What else do they mean?"
"You little fool! That's why you botched the ceremony! It has nothing to do with peace in Konan."
"No?"
"No!" Taiitsu-kun said harshly, then her expression softened just a bit. "What I'm telling you now may be the hardest thing you'll have to deal with on your journey. And I hope you have the strength you spoke of earlier."
"I do."
Taiitsu-kun nodded.
"Very well then. Here is what you must do to summon Suzaku."
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Rather than go back to their rooms, the seven Seishi had chosen to wait outside for Miaka. They disbanded the soldiers and guards, telling them the unfortunate news that the summoning had failed. The men, along with the present Warriors and Priests, were told to spread the news through Konan.
"This is very bad," Saihitei explained. "It is not simply that we were unable to summon Suzaku. It is that the other three countries will see us as weak. If we are so inadequate that we can't even call our own god to the earth, they will see us as an easy country to overthrow."
"Guess we're going to have to visit Hokkan and Sairou and convince them that we're the strongest of all," Ryuuen grinned lopsidedly. The conversations went on until the Shrine's doors opened, and Miaka stepped outside. Kishuku's heart nearly stopped beating when he saw how ashen-faced she was.
"Are you well?" Saihitei asked first. "Did the audience with Taiitsu-kun go better than earlier?"
Miaka took one look at all the Seishi and ketsu, and burst into tears. She ran off towards her room, leaving everyone standing there in stunned silence.
"Uh, I'm gonna go follow 'er," Shun'u said, starting off behind the Miko. However, Juan grabbed the tessen's holster and sent the redhead's legs flying out from under him.
"I don't think so," Juan shook his head. "She wouldn't have run from us if she wanted to talk." Shun'u scowled, but didn't head after Miaka.
"No one's in here," Doukun said from inside the Shrine. "Taiitsu-kun must have left after she talked to Miaka."
"Maybe she's just upset about the summoning and everything," Ryuuen said, biting his lip.
Kishuku looked down at Toshi. "Any thoughts on what she's thinking?"
'I don't know, Ki-kun. I didn't even think to probe her mind when she came out. I have no idea what's going on in her head.'
"Let's depart for the moment, and maybe later one of us can go talk to Miaka, no da," Houjun suggested. "I don't know about the rest of you, but I could use some relaxation before we start making traveling plans, no da."
"Excellent idea," Saihitei nodded. "Everyone, when you are well, come visit me and we will discuss our journey's path."
The group parted with a somber mood hanging low.
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When Kishuku saw Miaka knocking on his door, an evil trick popped into his mind.
'Don't do it, Ki-kun.'
'Shhh, don't spoil it.'
As the Suzaku no Miko frowned, ready to push open the doors, Kishuku tapped her on the shoulder. When she turned around, she saw a mutated face - with the nose and eyes pulled back - sticking its tongue out at her, scarily highlighted by a paper lantern. Kishuku had expected Miaka to scream like the girl she was; he didn't expect her to hit him.
Miaka threw a set of punches that would have done Kishuku proud, had he not been on the receiving end.
"It's me! It's me! Miaka, stop!"
"… Oh my god! I'm so sorry! Are you all right?"
Kishuku winced as he got up. "Don't worry about it. I'll be okay."
'Told you not to do it.'
'Bite me.'
Thankfully, Shun'u was out for the night getting piss-drunk, and Kishuku could let Miaka into the room without worrying about her getting accidentally set on fire. Pouring some tea for them, Kishuku said, "It's pretty late, you know. I've been talking with Houjun about getting to Hokkan, but what are you doing up at this time of night? And how did you get into the men's dormitory?"
"Oh, I asked the supervisor of this section if I could visit you," Miaka explained, sitting on the bed and petting Toshi. "On the terms that it was an important discussion about the Chosen Seishi."
Kishuku grinned at Miaka. "You're such a liar, but you're awfully good. But tell me - what are you doing here? What is bothering you so much that it brings you to my door?"
"No reason," she shrugged, but Kishuku frowned when he realized that she wasn't looking at him. "Just… wanted to see you."
"Ah, okay."
It was silent for a few minutes as Kishuku handed her a small cup of tea and watched her drink. He liked visiting with Miaka - she was a lot of fun to tease and be with - but her being in his room made him feel more than a little unsure of the situation.
"Can I ask you a question?" Miaka blurted out.
"Uh, sure. What is it?"
"When all this is done with, and we've summoned Suzaku and everything… what are you going to do with your life?"
Kishuku sighed and leaned back against his chair. "I don't know. Probably stay here at the Center and finish my training. Maybe go home and be the town Warrior. I'm not really sure."
"Have you ever planned to get married?"
Married?!?! "I… guess so. Eventually." Why would she want to kn - oh my gods. "Why?" he asked warily.
"I've been thinking about what I'm going to do after everything is done. I'll probably finish up, like you will, but I know after that my mother will want me to get married. And… and I'm not sure if I want to. At least, not to the wrong man."
At this, Miaka looked up and met his eyes. Kishuku was shocked to see the amount of interest and longing in her jade green eyes. Does this mean… he looked over to Toshi, but the leopard was staying very far away from this conversation by feigning sleep. "Miaka, are you suggesting what I think you're suggesting?"
"Maybe…" she said softly. "I never had a chance to tell you before, but… but I told Houjun and I want to tell you now. I think I love you."
If it was possible, Kishuku's eyes would have bulged straight out of their sockets and his jaw would have fallen to the floor. As it was, he merely looked at the girl sitting across from him with those guileless eyes and wondered what would be the right thing to say.
"We've been traveling together for a long time. You were the person that rescued me, and I think I fell in love with you from that moment on. And I watch the way you take care of your siblings, and I want to help you care for them…" she stopped herself, then stared into her teacup. "I guess I'm just babbling now, aren't I?"
"Miaka," Kishuku said softly, sitting down next to her. "I wish I knew how to say this, but…"
"But?"
"But I don't think I feel the same way towards you."
He managed to catch the teacup Miaka dropped and put it on the nearby table in one smooth move. "Whoa! Careful there!" He then turned to see Miaka shaking like a leaf. "Hey, Miaka, are you all right?"
The Suzaku no Miko shook her head and refused to meet his glance.
Putting his hand against Miaka's cheek, Kishuku raised her face and met her pained gaze. He desperately wished for some of Saihitei's charm to take away the pain he'd put into those eyes. "I'm sorry I can't tell you otherwise. I just… I love you like a sister, and I know that's not what you want to hear." He felt her tense under his touch, and quickly spoke his mind. "I care a great deal about you, Miaka-chan. Perhaps in the coming months we spend together… maybe I'll be more comfortable with the idea of you feeling the way you do for me. I might change my mind, and maybe you'll change yours, too. You'll see that a money-grubbing bum like me isn't any good for you."
Miaka clamped her arms around Kishuku's waist and held him tight. "I really love you. I don't think that's ever gonna change."
Kishuku hugged her back. "I love you too, Miaka-chan, but I can't be anyone's husband right now."
Faster than he would have expected it, Miaka jumped up and darting out of the room.
"Miaka!" Kishuku followed her just outside the room, but stopped when he remembered Juan's words from this afternoon in his head. She wouldn't have run if she wanted to stay.
Watching her run away was one of the most painful things Kishuku had done. He wanted to help her, to take away the unhappiness she felt. But he also knew that if he were to pursue her now, she may end up hating him later. She must feel so humiliated. Suzaku, I can't imagine…
He turned and walked back into the room, blowing out the candles and musing in the darkness.
-------------
I didn't sleep a wink last night, Miaka groaned as she got up and dressed. Thank Suzaku-seikun that I don't have any lessons today. I don't know how I'd get through them.
Sitting on her bed, she took the time to think about all the events that happened yesterday. Taiistu-kun's words, Kishuku's rejection… I wish things could go right for me, for once. What am I going to tell everyone when they finally start asking about Taiitsu-kun's talk with me? And how am I going to deal with Kishuku whenever I see him? Oh, this isn't going as well as I thought. Nervousness rose into Miaka's throat, and she decided a good full breakfast would take care of her unhappiness for the moment.
After she finished eating half the food in the Center, Miaka was floating around the grounds, still worried about actually meeting up with any of her Seishi. What would I say to them? What if I tell them about it and they hate me? Thus, she jumped nearly a foot into the air when she heard Ryuuen's peppy voice behind her.
"G'morning, Miaka!"
She spun around and saw both Ryuuen and Shun'u standing there wearing their morning robes. "Oh, morning! Where's Kohana and Genrou?"
"Out eating and hunting," Shun'u yawned. "They'll be back soon."
Miaka nodded, somewhat relieved to know the mind-reading ketsu weren't around.
"Hey, Miaka, Shun'u and I have a great idea," Ryuuen grinned. "What if we go into the town square tonight? There's a Star Gazing Festival taking place, and we only have a few more days left before leaving Konan. Let's go to it!"
Miaka was about to answer when she saw Kishuku coming towards the group. With a restrained, embarrassed smile, she said, "Good morning, Kishuku. Ryuu-kun was telling me about this festival. Let's all go tonight, okay?" She patted him on the shoulder, then made a beeline for the Palace (which happened to be in the opposite direction Kishuku was traveling).
Behind her, Miaka heard Ryuuen and Shun'u teasing Kishuku, followed by an echo of two thrown punches, and winced for the undeserving targets. I don't think he's mad; at least, I hope he's not. If I know Kishu-kun, he's probably just trying to stop them from talking about me.
Saying hello to a few familiar Seishi and Miko, Miaka finally made it to the conference room where Saihitei, Doukun, their ketsu, and a few people she didn't recognize were making plans. She quietly entered the room and listened to the talks.
"Hokkan is a mountainous region," Saihitei explained. "When we have previously sent envoys, they have used the main road into the Gate of Genbu."
Doukun shook his head. "I don't think we should enter through the main road. I think we should take advantage of the different canals, specifically the northeast one. We would be cutting dangerously close to Kutou, but it rings around Mount Taikyoku and is our fastest route."
"And speed is of the utmost necessity, you're thinking," an older gentleman stated.
"I don't know," Saihitei said. "We are unaware as to whether or not the Genbu or Byakko Seishi have been brought together."
"Heika, you mentioned that Taiitsu-kun suggested your journey. That would imply that the idea of the Chosen Seishi must be within the minds of the two lands," another man suggested.
Saihitei turned his head in thoughtfulness and saw Miaka standing there. "Ah, Miaka! Come in."
Bowing respectfully to the attending people, she came and stood next to the map. "What's this?"
"We are discussing your route to Hokkan. It seems rather unanimous that you shall travel by canal. I will be providing a well-made ship - it will leave in two days, though I will stay here."
Miaka's eyes popped. "You're not coming with, Sai-kun?"
Saihitei smiled at her. "I am the Emperor. I cannot be absent from my throne for too long, despite the kindness of the four Ministers. There are matters to which I must attend. But remember, you'll still have the other six Seishi/ketsu pairs."
Weakly returning the smile, Miaka said, "I suppose." Then the memory of Taiitsu-kun's words came back in a flood. She was about to speak aloud and warn Saihitei when she noticed Takeshi in the rafters. 'Takeshi, could you tell your Seishi that I think we need to move the traveling date back?'
'Why?'
'Well… because…' she stuttered, trying not to tell him the real reason. 'Because I don't want to go yet. I think we need time to bond with each other before we really start going to another country.'
Takeshi sent her a mental frown. 'Miko-sama, I don't think you're telling me everything.'
'I don't really want to talk about it now, but… but what if I say this? If we head off to Hokkan, that means we have to be prepared for the… uhm, repercussions of summoning Suzaku. I don't think we're ready for that yet.'
This, Takeshi could accept. 'All right, Miaka-san. I'll tell Sai-kun to push the date back. How far back, though?'
'Oh… I don't know. Two weeks?'
'That's an awful long time to put this off. How about ten days?'
'Okay. Later, you'll understand why I want you to do this. Thank you, Takeshi.'
'You're welcome.'
"Anyway," Miaka said aloud, a fake smile pasted on. "I don't want to bother you for long. Thank you for the information, and good luck." She bowed a second time and left Saihitei and Doukun to finish making plans.
She returned to the Center, not really knowing where she needed to go. Her feet led her back to the spot where she talked with Houjun only a few days ago, and was surprised to not only see the same Seishi pair sitting there, but Shun'u and Sute with them.
I think I'll go talk with them. No harm in that, I think. Plus I'll be bonding more, like Taiitsu-kun suggested.
Doing just that, Miaka could hear snatches of a conversation and as she got closer, she hoped she wasn't intruding. She saw Houjun gave Shun'u a gentle pat on the back before returning to his fishing rod. "You've done a wonderful job of taking care of Sute so far, no da. All that's left to do is bring her home."
Shun'u was about to answer when he saw Miaka coming. "Oi, Miaka! Come 'n join us!" he said, waving her over next to him.
"Thanks," she returned, plopping beside him. Sute gave her a hug, and Miaka felt all the better for it. "So… can I ask what you're talking about?"
"Jus' 'bout Sute. She's gonna go home today. Takin' her in th' city t'night, where her new parents live."
Miaka clapped her hands. "Oh, how wonderful!" She beamed at Sute. "Happy?"
The child blinked a few seconds before understanding, and gave a tiny smile. She also hugged Shun'u tightly, and Miaka had a good idea about what that meant.
She's happy about having a home, but she's gonna miss her big brother really badly. Poor kid.
"Yeah, I know I can't take care o' her anymore, 'cause I sure as hell ain't no father-y kinda guy like Ki-ku," Shun'u said, turning back to Houjun. "And I miss my ol' bandit ways, so both of us are gonna be happy when Sute's got a new home."
The Tasuki Seishi sighed, then leaned forward and rested his chin on top of Sute's head. She turned around and laughed at him, giving him a half-hearted push before going back to petting Shonin. Shun'u smiled crookedly, looking out at the lake with distant eyes. Houjun went back to fishing, and Miaka decided not to interrupt their thoughts. The group sat with one another in companionable silence for a good two minutes before Shun'u got restless.
"Oi, Shonin."
'Oi, Shun!'
"What's Sute's favorite food?"
'Uhm, hold on a moment.'
Fox and child stared at one another in deep mental thought. 'I'm not sure if this is it, but I think she likes duck. Her memory of it is rather fuzzy, but I'm pretty sure it's a duck. Maybe a chicken?'
"Why?" Miaka asked, unable to curtail her curiosity.
"Eh, no reason. Just 'cause I wanna know." Lightly thumping Sute on the head and getting her attention, Shun'u used two fingers to sign that he was standing up. She quickly got to her feet after giving Shonin one last pet, and Shun'u followed suit. "So, Miaka, ya know we're gonna go ta th' Festival, 'n I'm gonna go aheada time ta take Sute out fer duck. Wanna come?"
Oh! What a nice offer! "I'd love to come! When do you want to meet?"
"I'll send Genrou fer ya - getting' Sute ready's gonna take damn near ferever," Shun'u grumbled. "A'ight?"
She gave Sute a small hug. "I can't wait."
"See ya!"
Miaka and Houjun watched the duo walk away, and she couldn't help but giggle when Sute put her hand into Shun'u's - and he held it tightly. "Cute!"
'I think so too,' Shonin said mischievously.
"Yeah… I wanna thank you two for helping me before," Miaka admitted. "After what happened at the ceremony and how badly it went, I think it could have gone way worse if I didn't have your wisdom from before."
Houjun playfully bumped Miaka with his arm. "Don't worry about it, no da. Just be sure to come to me if you need help. Don't let yourself flounder and deal with things by yourself. The best courage comes from being able to ask for assistance if you need it, no da."
Miaka nodded, and knew that he was gently probing about yesterday's incident. "Houjun… I don't know if I can tell you what Taiitsu-kun told me yet," she said quietly. "I will - I have to. But right now… right now I need a little time."
"I know and I can understand, but if it affects more than just yourself, you can't take too much time," he said in return. "What you don't tell us may cause an even greater disaster than what we've lived through."
Miaka nodded, her throat suddenly choked up. What I will tell you may be even harder than the failed summoning. Although she didn't want to be rude, Miaka stood up and got ready to go. 'Shonin, tell Houjun I'm sorry. I really am.'
'We worry for you, Miko-sama,' the fox said gently. 'Let us help you.'
She nodded and walked away, trying to keep her composure as best she could. Returning to her room allowed Miaka the freedom to cry and worry and scream without anyone bothering her.
Suzaku, give me strength. Give me guidance!
-------------
"Oh, wow!" Miaka said, looking around with a gaped mouth. "I've never seen Eiyou at night. It's so beautiful!"
"Yeah, ain't too bad," Shun'u grinned lopsidedly. "Ain't no Mount Reikaku, but ain't too damn bad." Looking down at the wide-eyed Sute, he pulled them toward a small stall that was selling ducks. "How 'bout it, kiddo? Think it looks fuckin' good?" By the expression on Sute's face, everything looked good.
The first thing Shun'u did was order a tea-smoked duck, while Miaka went off to get some drinks. The three sat together and talked, with Genrou innocently begging for the bones from Sute and Miaka. Miaka could see how silently pleased Shun'u was that Sute enjoyed her dinner – he was swearing in the most friendly fashion she could imagine.
The city was beginning to recover from the knowledge of the failed summoning. Almost as if to prove the strength of their little country, the Star Gazing Festival was still held in Eiyou and other towns of Konan. With the banners of red having been replaced by white paper lanterns, and the flowers replaced by confetti, there was a definite air of merriment all around. A number of Seishi were walking around and enjoying the fair, and Miaka could see the mixture of people and animals was a rather impressive sight. Like before, the food stalls were open and alive with customers, so that everywhere she turned Miaka was ready and willing to eat. The duck they were currently sharing tasted fantastic, and Miaka secretly hoped that Ryuuen would buy her some more later.
Miaka had dressed up for this occasion, wearing a fancy green gown with a pale pink apron and silk slippers. Normally, she would wear her simple brown robes wherever she went, but there was reason for celebration today. Her hair (like always) was pulled up into their double buns, and she silently mourned the fact that she didn't really know any other ways to wear it.
I know Kishuku thinks I look silly and child-like with them, she thought. Maybe I should ask one of the other mikos what would look nice on me.
Sute was dressed for definite success, decked out in a navy blue pantset with a lovely white overcoat. Miaka knew bits of the girl's past, and she hoped Sute could always be given such kind gifts from her new family. She gave Sute an open smile as she offered some of her tea.
She and Shun'u did all of the talking - obviously, though Genrou and Sute were sharing more than a few moments - and she liked the attention her Tasuki Seishi was giving to everyone. She didn't realize how much she missed spending time with her Seishi until just now.
"Shun'u?"
"Yeah?"
"I don't want to sound ungrateful, but how come you invited me to join you for taking Sute out? I mean, I know you're her big brother and all, so I thought you'd want this to be a private thing."
"It kinda is," he shrugged. "Don't really know why, though. Jus' 'cause I wanted to, I guess."
"Oh. Well, thanks. I appreciate it."
"Yup, don' mention it. And besides, I think Sute likes ya - seem ta be good with kids."
Miaka remembered Kishuku's siblings and how well she got along with them. "Yeah, thanks."
They bought Sute a dessert before Shun'u looked at the sky. "Think it's time we take Sute home." Holding Sute's hand, Shun'u lead the way through the crowds until he reached the quieter residential area. Miaka and Genrou followed, and she chatted absently with the wolf while carefully guarding her thoughts. Finally, they reached a small abode and Shun'u knocked on the door. Sute had partially hid herself behind him, and Miaka patted her head for reassurance.
The door opened to reveal a somewhat older couple, both with warm expressions.
"Hello, Shun'u-san. It is good to see you again. Joyous Festival to you," the man said, his voice soft but firm.
"You too, Paen-san," Shun'u bowed slightly. Miaka followed his motion, just for propriety's sake. "Guess who I brought home?"
The woman smiled and stepped outside. "Our Sute, perhaps?" She knelt down on the ground and opened her arms. "Come to your mother, child. I love you." And she used her hands to sign her obvious affection for the child.
She's going to be a very good mother for Sute.
Miaka watched Shun'u gently release Sute's hand and give her quick hug. "Take care, kid," he said, his voice rougher than usual. "Be watchin' out fer you when I can. Now git goin'." With a small push from behind, Sute went forward into her new mother's arms. Shun'u turned around and, to Miaka's surprise, saw him wipe his eyes. "It's just th' damn dust. Real fuckin' mess 'round this part of th' city."
Miaka thought of gently teasing the Tasuki Seishi, but decided against it; she didn't want Shun'u to think she was making a mockery of him. Instead, she gave Sute a quick kiss on her forehead and said to Paen-san, "I'm a friend of Shun'u and Sute. I just want to wish her a happy goodbye."
"Thank you," the father said, watching as Genrou gave her a final lick under the chin and receiving a big bear hug. "I hope she'll be as happy here as she was with you."
"Happier, I'm sure," Miaka replied. Then, out of nowhere, she laid her hand on Sute's head and whispered a blessing. And, so faintly Miaka thought she dreamt it, a little red light outlined her hand on Sute's head for just a moment.
Neither parent said anything, but simply looked at Miaka with wonder. At first she was confused by the awed gazes, then remembered that mikos in any country were extremely rare, and a blessing from one was a true gift of the gods.
"Thank you," the father repeated, this time bowing respectfully low. "Thank you for blessing this child."
"Ah, it was nothing much," Miaka said self-consciously, and realized that Shun'u was waiting for her. "We should get going. Take care, Paen-san," and she ran off after Shun'u without looking back.
I feel pretty good about myself, she thought lightly. Never done a blessing before, except at the ceremony, so hopefully this one will be good.
"How are you feeling, Shun'u?"
"Eh, not bad. Glad that Sute's got a real home now. Got the fuckin' dust outta my eyes, too."
Miaka merely grinned at him.
They met Ryuuen at the same food stall from before, and Miaka was glad to see Kishuku hadn't joined them. I know I shouldn't have invited him if I didn't want to see him, but I don't understand myself anymore. I want to spend time with him, but it's so embarrassing to even look at him. Shaking her head and driving away the depressing thoughts, Miaka punched the air and encouraged her Seishi to enjoy themselves. They spent almost two hours at the festival, eating and watching competitions until they decided to relax just outside the Center's wall.
Miaka was feeling so good and having such a fun time that when someone mentioned the trip to Hokkan, she didn't think twice. She leaned against a stone wall and listened to her Seishi chat, until one of them asked her about Taiitsu-kun.
"So, Miaka, what did Taiitsu-kun say to you that put you in tears?" Ryuuen asked curiously.
All the food that Miaka had eaten was starting to sit unhappily in her stomach. "N-n-nothing."
'Aw, come on!' Genrou teased. 'Taiitsu-kun, the Oracle, said nothing? You don't really expect us to believe that.'
'Maybe she has to give up eating,' Kohana joked. Everyone laughed, and Miaka tried to make hers sound real.
"You gotta tell us sometime," Shun'u said, giving her an impish nudge in the shoulder. "So spill yer guts!"
Miaka tried to smile. "No, maybe later. I'm having such a good time today that I don't want to spoil it." And as soon as the words left her mouth, she knew she said the wrong thing.
"Spoil it? How?" Ryuuen's eyes became worried. "Miaka-chan, what's wrong?"
"Yeah, yer lookin' really fuckin' awful. What kinda shit is the old crone tellin' ya?"
Miaka felt the brush of a ketsu's mind against hers, and quickly closed herself up. 'Stop it! Go away! I don't want to tell you now!' Miaka mentally screamed. 'Please don't make me tell you. Please… don't make me hurt you'
Then Shun'u and Ryuuen each laid a hand on her shoulder. "Miaka, no matter how serious or bad the news is, we won't hate you," Ryuuen said. "Promise."
She wanted to pull away; it would make it so much easier to hold everything in. Yet with the ketsu gazing at her with quiet support, Ryuuen's pained expression and Shun'u's scowl, she didn't want to keep it to herself. It was too hard… it hurt too much.
"Let's go home."
The two Seishi packed everything and headed back to the Center, speaking very little. Genrou called an impromptu meeting to the other five ketsu, and soon everyone sat in Saihitei's large and comfortable quarters, looking at Miaka with a mix of interest and concern.
"So… what was it that Taiitsu-kun told you that sent you running from us?" Juan asked, not unkindly.
The happiness from the Star Gazing Festival had long since left Miaka. All she felt was scared. It's not fair it's not fair! This shouldn't happen, and not on a day when we were so happy and alive. But I have to be strong. Taiitsu-kun said I must be strong to tell them and keep us together. "Do you… do you remember how we talked about the ShiJinTenChiSho? And how we were trying to figure out what it was trying to say?"
"Yes, Miaka-san," Doukun said. "Were we wrong?"
She nodded, blinking back tears. "It doesn't mean that; it didn't mean peace in Konan, and it didn't mean that the ketsu would help bring it." Miaka bunched her dress in her fists as she remembered the talk with Taiitsu-kun. "It meant something very different."
-------------
"Very well then. Here is what you must do to summon Suzaku.
"The symbols you read were correct - all of them were translated literally to mean peace, harmony, and ketsu. However… when followed by this character, the last symbol means ketsu and Seishi. Suzaku was trying to tell you that the Seishi are to make peace with their ketsu. For the summoning to be completed, the ketsu will be completely absorbed into Suzaku's corporeal form, so as to provide enough ki for him to exist long enough to grant your wishes. It is only in this situation in which a Seishi may survive the loss of a ketsu, and they must be completely willing to do this. That's why your summoning failed. You cannot simply steal their ketsu – the Seishi must give them up. They must be absolutely certain that this is what they want to do.
"And it is your job as the Suzaku no Miko to convince them to go through with this ordeal."