Author's Note: Well, you might think of this sort of as the beginning of a second arch that pretty much came out of me just fooling around with an idea. On with the show!

Disclaimer: I do not, I repeat, I DO NOT own the Teen Titans or Nightwing, so there.

Back to the Past
Chapter Four: The Only Place

It had been all wrong. Beast Boy had learned to live with regret, but tonight, as his strong, sharp wings sliced through the crisp February air, he knew that he had just made the second gravest mistake of his life. Why'd I have be such a jerk back there? he persecuted himself. Why didn't you do something? he thought, as his regret rose to the surface. Why didn't he hold Raven longer? Why did he have give his friend the cold shoulder? He himself was just as much at fault. Why didn't he try to talk to them longer? Why hadn't he tried to savor their time together? It was all he had now. Why hadn't he apologized to Raven? He had pretty much caused the ultimate destruction of her life….Why? Why hadn't he had enough courage to speak up and do what everyone else wanted to, but couldn't…. Courage, that was a laugh. His cage down at the old boardwalk was the symbol of his courage; Yeah right, courage, he thought,continuing his self-lashing. There was no way he was going back to that piece of metal crud right now, it probably would have made him cry, it was just another reflection of how everything had just…turned to crud….

Circling around the top of the familiar building he descended down on to it, landing regally next to the south wall. It had been a while since he'd flown that far, and he hadn't done too badly. He cheered himself as he ruffled his wings and looked out across the southern horizon.

An icy breeze chilled his feathers from behind and he looked over his right shoulder. Slightly startled see her white cloaked figured standing there, yet at the same time almost knowing that it would be, he shifted back into his natural form and turned to face her. She was so beautiful standing there with her hood down, the lunar rays illuminating her soft face and deep eyes, as the breeze passed gently through her hair.

"Fancy seeing you here," he said, surprised by how calm and cool he had made his voice sound.

"I knew you'd be here," she said in her soft monotone, looking away from the sapphire waters in the bay toward him, as he came to stand next to her by the western wall.

"Really?" Beast Boy asked, shocked that she had come here to see him.

"Uh hm," Raven nodded, closing her eyes with a small timid smile.

His eyes were wide as she looked into them and then down and out toward the shifting water in bay.

"I wanted to thank you for earlier this evening," she said without looking at him, her voice stronger and clearer now.

"Oh, that…" he replied distantly, his mind still going over how she looked at him moments before. "It was nothing…" he added, softening his stare, as he came back to reality.

"Earlier…I wanted to say sorry about everything," he apologized softly looking down and away from her, his heart heavy with shame. "I just…didn't think. Well, I did, but not enough--" he continued, his brow furrowing with frustration.

"It's okay," Raven stopped him with final isolation, as she looked at him out of the corner of her eye.

"Thanks," he whispered, looking up to meet her gaze. For a moment time almost seemed to slow to a stop, and the fog that had blocked their vision seemed to lift, letting each truly see the other's feelings.

Suddenly the moment was shattered, though, as the fog reappeared suddenly and time left them behind with the sound of a loud crash of metal behind them. They both turned almost instantly, ready for anything, but all that they saw was the back of the heavy metal door that opened from a stairwell inside The Tower up onto the roof.

"Alright you punks! I know yer up here! Come on, show yerselves! The Old Loser's not afraid to fight!" yelled an angry voice from behind the door, which slowly creaked back on its rusty hinges to reveal the back of their robotic friend. His canon was poised and ready as he surveyed the eastern side of the roof.

"Cy?" Beast Boy questioned, as he and Raven lowered their defenses. He slowly looked over his shoulder at them. There was a look of complete shame and utter humiliation on his face.

"Oh, I thought…" he said quietly, his entire body now facing them, but his head lowered almost like a shield, as the canon shifted back into his arm.

"Uh maybe we should go--" BB said with a step back, beginning to pivot in the opposite direction. Raven made similar moves in the same direction.

"Wait!" Cyborg said with undisguised urgency, his arm partially outstretched toward them. "Please. Don't go," he pleaded. Beast Boy and Raven turned back toward him.

"I heard sounds on the roof, and I thought it was this group of kids, but forget about it…. What are you guys doing here so late?" Cyborg asked.

"I couldn't think of another place I wanted to be," BB said at the same as Raven's monotone "I came to see him."

The changling and the goth looked at each other.

Raven's heart skipped a beat. Good job. Raven thought angrily to herself. Nice Freudian slip.

So she did come to see me! Beast Boy thought. For a moment he felt like a kid again as the pace of his heart quickened. It was stupid, but he felt silly…embarrassed.

Cyborg stared for a moment at them. He remembered a time when the two had really, just, almost…he searched his mind for the appropriate expression…loathingly liked each other. They had always had a rather complicated friendship, so to speak. It was strange to see it reappearing here tonight.

Snapping back to reality, Beast Boy thought to himself, Dude it's not gonna happen, and with that painfully tore his glance from Raven in much the same way one rips away a Band-Aid. It can't stay, but you know it's going to hurt, no matter how you do it, so you suck it up and get it over with fast. He looked at the run down city in the background that had once been their beautiful Jump and sucked it up. It's over. Things will never be like they used to be. You're never gonna see these people again. Today was just some freak thing, and nothing you're ever gonna do again is gonna be worth a damn thing.

His feelings, now raw and stinging, told him he had to walk away now, because all this was a waste hope he didn't have. Looking down at the concrete slabs of the rooftop, Beast Boy's brow furrowed and he announced tonelessly, "I have to go."

Leaving his former friends wide-eyed and confused, Beast Boy turned his back on them and began walking toward the western wall, but just as he was about to shift, he stopped.

He opened his mouth, his true thoughts rushed to the surface, and before he could stop himself, the words spilled out like water. He was making a mess of his plan to just walk away, but he didn't care: "You know what," he started softly and then getting steadily louder, "today was like some kind of crazy dream, in fact I'm not sure whether to call it a dream or a nightmare, but I've felt so many feelings that it must have been for real, even if doesn't seem like it. I stared almost every part of my past right in the eyes in the last several hours, and I swear it slapped me right across the face. There isn't a day that I don't regret the choice I made, and I haven't had a better moment in 20 years than when we defeated Warp this afternoon. And here I am making the same mistake for the third time…you'd think I'd learn by now…. I just wish it wasn't over yet." Beast Boy finished, shakily whispering the last part. A gust of frozen wind cut through the group and then all was silent.

"It doesn't have to be."