Buffy charged down the stairs with an intense purpose in her step. Xander was sitting in the living room, lecturing a few of the Potentials around him on being careful around fragile furniture.
"What's the what, Buffy?" he asked, seeing her quick pace.
"Where's Faith?"
"Is this the beginning to another screaming match?" Kennedy asked.
"Kennedy, grab your jacket, you're coming too."
"Alright, cool," she answered, excited that Buffy was actually including her in something.
"Good… where's Faith?"
"Oh goodie, you're taking her too. Really, feel free to throw her into danger. She's gained some weight, she'll make a good shield… or a target… she could be a target too," Xander rambled.
"You're coming too," Buffy answered, trying to cover up the smile that had spread across her face.
"What? Wait… that's instead of Faith, right?"
"What's your beef?" Kennedy snapped angrily. Buffy decided to ignore both of them now and begin to search for Faith, which obviously, no one knew where she was. Xander and Kennedy continued to jab at each other verbally as Buffy looked through the house. She finally realized she was going about her search all wrong when she found herself looking in the kitchen closet and cabinets. She slammed the closet door closed and groaned with frustration as she shook her head.
"What the hell's up your ass?" Faith asked, walking into the kitchen with four empty beer bottles in her left hand and a lit cigarette in her right.
"I was looking for you," she answered angrily.
"In there?" Faith asked, glancing up at the cabinet.
"Just get your coat."
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Kennedy watched the three people she was walking with. She was a little worried, seeing that Buffy seemed like she just couldn't walk fast enough. None of them had been told where exactly there were in such a rush to get to because, well… Buffy had been in such a rush. She watched the scornful glares that Xander kept sending towards Faith. It was true, Kennedy really didn't know Faith well but she could tell that it was out of character for her to continue walking quietly with her head down whilst being glared at. But even if she was wrong about Faith, which was possible, she did know Xander and this was certainly not like him.
"So where are we going?" Faith asked, finally breaking the silence.
"Faith, could you be quiet, possibly?" There was about a moment and a half of silence before Faith asked,
"Why?"
"Faith!"
"What? I'd just kind of like to know where the fuck we're going, that's all."
"You don't trust me?"
"Honestly, no, but that's not what I'm getting at-"
"Well I don't trust you either!"
"B, I know," she answered, trying to calm the hostility, knowing that once again she had just walked right into a pool of insecurity. "You shouldn't trust me-"
"Don't try a thing!" Xander threatened, pulling out his weapon and holding it in Faith's direction.
"That's not what I meant!" she defended to Buffy, completely ignoring Xander's 'threat'. Finally, she turned her attention to Xander who was still standing ready to attack if given any excuse, "you're a fucking dork," she stated blankly at him. He stared at her for a moment, unsure of how to respond. With a quick movement of her arm she disarmed him without any trouble. She let a piercing stare settle deeply into his mind before tossing the long blade down by his feet.
He stared at her, a flash of intense emotion ripping through him, as he looked into her dark eyes. He wasn't sure if the feeling was that he wanted to grab her and stab her or kiss her. He also couldn't tell whether he was disgusted by her or terrified.
"If I wanted to kill you, holding a sword isn't going to do you any good."
"No, I think it was a baseball bat that saved my life," he answered confidently, trying to appear as though he wasn't intimidated. There was definitely more to this story than she knew, Kennedy concluded.
Still maintaining his confident façade he motioned to pick up the sword and Faith flinched quickly but didn't really move. Xander quickly jumped back away from the sword and from her. His eyes snapped back up from the sword to her as soon as she flinched and now they were still locked on her filled with rage that she had proven so easily what he was desperately trying to hide.
"You're a bitch," he announced, now slowly reaching for his knife again, this time not breaking eye contact. She shrugged and answered,
"I like fucking with people."
"Faith, knock it off!" Buffy scolded harshly.
"I didn't do anything," she answered, already walking away from Xander.
"It's that attitude that got you into this mess in the first place."
"B, why don't you try not talking now?"
"You have no idea how much I really don't like you, do you?"
"I think I'd take that to the level of hate," Xander added.
"Well, B, I don't mean to burst your bubble, but I don't hate you. There's a shocker, huh?"
"Do you at least hate me?" Xander asked obnoxiously. As they rounded the next corner of the street a metal crowbar made contact with the back of Faith's head and sent her straight to the ground.
A flock of vamps suddenly swarmed the area, numbering at least fifteen. Faith rolled onto her side and touched the back of her head with her hand and when she brought it back down in front of her it was covered in blood. Kennedy jumped to her side and did her best to keep the vamps away from her but she was struggling.
"Faith, get up!" Buffy screamed angrily. She was concerned but she needed to get Faith up in a hurry. Kennedy was knocked to the ground by a couple of the vamps and the one with the crowbar came after Faith again chanting,
"This is a Slayer! Just what we came for!" He took a long swing with the bar towards her face but she grabbed it and used the energy to flip him to the ground and pull her up to her feet in one, swift movement.
"Buffy gets to be the Slayer for all the cool shit and I get it for the killing part. This is my life," she complained as she knocked two vamps to the ground with the crowbar. There were so many vamps that she was having trouble seeing the other three people all the time. She was struggling to maintain her ground with these vamps and when she could catch a glance she saw that Buffy was having trouble too. But what was strange was that the vamps seemed completely uninterested in Kennedy and Xander.
"This is the true Slayer," another vamp announced, speaking about Buffy. Faith felt herself roll her eyes as a complete reflex; she regretted it because it seemed like at that moment six vamps jumped on top of her. "Just hold her back," he announced, now speaking of Faith.
A small crowd of vamps were keeping Kennedy and Xander busy and more than six were now on Faith, but not killing her like they had ample opportunity to, they were simply holding her away from Buffy. She fought for freedom and was only able to free herself enough to witness the most horrible moment of her life. She watched the head vamp run a knife across her throat.
Faith opened her mouth to scream but nothing came out of her throat. She stopped fighting against the crowd of vamps that were fighting her and she dropped the crowbar. One of the vamps quickly picked it up and hit her across the side of her head. The blow was twice as hard as the first but this time she barely budged. She grabbed the weapon from the vamp and, swinging it like a baseball bat, decapitated him.
"It's done," the head vamp announced and the entire group of vamps quickly disappeared from the area. Kennedy took a deep breath as she regained her balance, then helped Xander to his feet.
"Wow, that was less than a little fun," she quipped, turning towards where she assumed the other two to be standing. Xander turned in that direction around the same time and they both saw Faith on her knees next to Buffy with her upper body draped over Buffy's as she frantically touched her face.
Kennedy and Xander ran over to the two of them, both convincing themselves that it couldn't possibly be that bad. As they got close Faith flipped her own hair back and they were able to see the stream of blood spurting from her neck. Faith's face was also covered in blood from her own injuries as well as the fact that her hands were coated as she moved her hair.
Kennedy grabbed her mouth, for the first time becoming nauseous at the sight of blood. Xander walked over to Faith angrily, automatically placing the blame on her. Even if it wasn't her who did it she should've been able to stop it from happening. As he got closer he felt his emotions start to melt and seem to flood his body, as he watched Faith still holding the wound tightly with her hand, even though it was too late. He saw that she was shaking violently and her mouth was slightly ajar with her lips trembling.
Xander picked up Buffy's wrist gently and even though he knew it was futile he felt for a pulse. Feeling nothing he placed his hand gently over her eyes,
"Thank you." He was thankful for Buffy in so many ways. After another moment of silence he said to Faith, "we need to get her back." Without another word Faith picked her up off of the ground and began walking back towards the house completely unaware of her own state.
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Giles had received a call from Xander and had prepared the household for the unfortunate arrival they were going to have to cope with. Dawn had locked herself in her room, not wanting to see her sister now but rather remember her in the way she was.
"There they are," Wood announced from his post by the window. He and Giles practically ran out of the door to help, but Faith's silent expression made them both just hold the doors open quietly. Giles felt his entire world disappearing in a vacuous tunnel and Wood couldn't help but relate the event to the loss of his own mother. Faith walked up the stairs like a robot, careful not to let anything hurt Buffy, and she walked into Buffy's room. She put her down carefully onto the bed and for the first time the three men in the room realized just how much blood was all over Faith.
None of them dared to mention it to Faith because none of them were sure what her reaction was going to be when she snapped out of this blank daze. She stared down at Buffy, unaware of the fact that she had lost a large amount of blood herself. She was wearing a white tank top with a leather jacket and as Xander walked behind her he realized that a lot of the blood on her was her own and not just Buffy's.
"Faith, you're hurt," he announced.
"What?" She asked, turning towards him. As she turned, the massive loss of blood mixed with the fading adrenaline finally had its affect and her legs disappeared underneath her. Xander caught her before she hit the ground and picked her up in his arms.
"Take her to the other bedroom," Giles stated.
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"I'm okay," Faith tried to convince him as he put her limp body on the bed.
"You got beat up pretty bad," he stated mechanically.
"I'm fine." He ignored her and went and grabbed a damp towel. He returned and without a word began cleaning the blood from her face.
"Xander," she snapped, grabbing his hand that was touching her face. "You hate me."
"That doesn't mean I should just let you bleed to death."
"Why not?"
"I'm not going to argue with you," he answered.
"You seemed to enjoy arguing with me before…"
"Whatever, Faith," he answered, now just giving up trying to be a good guy. He tossed the towel angrily at her and motioned to leave the room.
"I tried to stop it," she stated.
"Yeah," he answered unconvinced, "I'm sure you tried real fucking hard." With that he walked out of the room, slamming the door behind him.
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Giles walked into the dark kitchen shaking his Scotch slightly. He held the bridge of his nose as he walked. His entire world seemed like it had disappeared and his life as he knew it held no validity or importance anymore. He had assumed the kitchen was empty because the light was off but he quickly realized that Faith was sitting silently. She was staring down at a glass and Giles commented,
"I must admit, I assumed you'd be nursing a beer."
"No, no beer for me tonight. You know, drinking isn't the way to deal with this," she scolded, motioning towards Giles' Scotch. He glanced down at his drink shamefully and then caught himself and realized just who he was speaking with. He glared at her doubtfully now and grabbed the glass in front of her. He brought it up to his nose and smelled it.
"Right. Not the way to deal with this, huh?" He placed the glass of Jack Daniel's back in front of her and she took it up immediately and took a long drink from it. She lit a cigarette and answered,
"I never said I was dealing."
"No, I don't suppose you did." They both were in the kitchen and a surprising similarity could be seen. Both of them took long sips from their drinks followed by long drags of their cigarettes. Giles had quickly been offered one from Faith and he readily accepted it. They were both quiet and pensive staring far off into the deep color of their chosen, comforting beverages.
Spike walked into the kitchen several minutes later and in seeing Faith he announced,
"You bloody useless bitch." Faith didn't even move but Giles jumped defensively,
"Spike, there's no need for that."
"That should be her up there. She's the one who should be dead, bloody useless tramp. This is probably the happiest day of your life, huh Faith?" Not getting the reaction he wanted out of Faith he walked angrily towards her and continued to instigate a fight. "Huh, you stupid whore, I'm talking to you now! Come on, aren't you going to throw a bloody party?" Faith remained sitting, completely unmoved. Finally Spike grabbed the chair that was next to Faith and threw it furiously across the room. She jumped slightly at the noise and he pushed his face right in front of hers, "happiest day of your bloody miserable existence."
Tears began to appear in her eyes and she motioned to speak,
"Buffy-"
"There you go, get those tears going. You really should've just gone and been an actress, you know that?"
"I loved Buffy more than you ever will," she answered firmly, "and everyone knows it."
"You watched her die and your only regret was not being the one holding that knife as it slid across her throat!" Spike screamed.
The noise Spike was causing to come from the kitchen had drawn the attention of the house and Xander and Kennedy had both entered the room cautiously. They watched Spike and Faith both very carefully, knowing what both of them were capable of under such emotional strain. They were both also very explosive and unpredictable.
As the last word left Spikes mouth, Faith suddenly brought her hand that was holding her glass of JD up to meet his face, smashing the glass on his face. In the same movement she slammed his face down onto the table at an angle that would make snapping his neck only a slight nudge away. Spike was held quiet both from the sudden intense pain and the fact that he knew as well as she did how little it would take to finish him off from where she had him.
Kennedy stood tensely in the doorway unsure of whether doing anything would make Faith stop or give that final nudge needed to kill him. She was scared to breathe. She was shocked that Xander began walking cautiously towards her. He had seemed to loathe her since the minute she had walked into the house and she thought him the last person that would try to talk her down.
Xander had begun to walk towards her not because he cared much for what happened to Spike but because he saw the look on her face. Her face was blank and tense like he remembered it used to look when she was working for the Mayor. She forced this indifferent, untouchable expression while the rest of her was silently screaming in agony. He could see it in her free hand which hung at her side. It shook quietly at her side with each and every muscle in it tense and jaggedly defined. Her jaw twitched spasmodically as she stood there struggling with what to do.
He knew that if she didn't have anything to stop her she would eventually just kill him knowing the repercussions of killing him wouldn't be as bad as having to have everyone see her back away from something she had set out to do. It was a mentality that, unfortunately, prison had only encouraged. But he also knew that the reason she hadn't immediately just killed him was because she knew she shouldn't. She had spent years curbing that part of herself and she knew the pain in it.
Xander also couldn't help but acknowledge a piece of him that just didn't care. It was a piece of him that wanted to just turn around and walk back to his bedroom and go to sleep, completely unconcerned with whether Spike would be dust and Faith would be in agony the next day or if Spike were the one to snap her neck. That was the part of him that wasn't completely sure if he wasn't angry at her himself. This part of him wanted to know why Faith had never been held back before, but when it really mattered, and when Buffy really needed her, she wasn't there. It was this part of him that agreed with Spike – she was useless. Faith's only purpose was to help Buffy when she needed it. She was never going to be their Slayer, she was only around to protect Buffy so that Buffy could be their Slayer.
As much as Xander wanted to keep that part of him hidden away from everyone's view, he would publicize that piece of him much quicker than another. There was another part of him that he hated and it was the part that loved her. It was the part that even as she gripped his throat and tried to strangle him, still wanted to hold her because he understood why she was doing it.
He walked towards her slowly, knowing she couldn't feel trapped if he wanted this to go his way. He eyed Giles who had also begun walking towards her and he shook his head, signaling for him to stop, which he did.
"Faith…"
"Don't," she growled.
"You've proved your point," he answered, un-intimidated by her tone, "now let it go." He watched her shake from the rage pumping through her body as she thought through it. He finally reached her and he placed his hand on her free arm to settle her. He felt her submit to his touch so he brought his other hand to her arm that was holding Spike and gripped her tense bicep. She let Spike go slowly, submitting to Xander's touch in a way that shocked her more than it shocked him.
Spike rolled onto the floor muttering curses at her. He regained his pride and slowly made his way out of the room, never lacking for insults about her.
Xander stared down at the back of her neck and felt her shaking violently in his hands. She had listened to him but that didn't mean she wasn't pissed off about it.
"You need to calm down," he warned. She gave a slight nod and he began to let her arms go. She felt her stomach twist at the loss of his touch, but like everything else, she swallowed it down. "You drinking Jack tonight?" he asked as he opened the cabinet to pull her out a new glass.
"Yeah…" she answered with a cracked voice.
"Alright," he answered routinely. "Hey, why don't you guys get some rest? I'll stay and get drunk with Miss Mentally Stable." Both Giles and Kennedy realized he was kicking them out of the kitchen because she would be better without them around. They nodded and quickly disappeared into other parts of the house.
Xander filled the glass generously with Jack Daniel's and put it down in front of her again. He found that her state didn't worry him as he expected it would usually; she was completely still except for her slight shaking and the way her eyes followed every single movement around her.
"I… I tried to…" she began hesitantly.
"I don't want to hear about it," he stated, silencing her.
"Right," she answered, taking a long drink of Jack. She finished her drink and the rest of her pack of cigarettes as Xander cleaned up the broken glass on the floor.
"Next time, could you maybe, I don't know, use a paper cup or something?" he joked slightly. Silence with Faith was generally pretty unnerving, but tonight it seemed to reach new levels.
"Yeah, whatever you want," she answered.
"Yeah, right… that always was the funny bit about you. Always liked to pretend to want to listen. You want to pretend you like it…" Suddenly he threw one of the glasses he was putting away against the wall and watched it shatter.
"Do I got to clean up after you now?" she asked, un-phased by his sudden outburst.
"No," he answered, the truth of his feelings clearly printed in his voice. "I'll take care of it."
"I want to go upstairs," she stated, seemingly out of nowhere.
"So go upstairs," he answered curtly, completely unaware of why her desires were suddenly being announced.
"Take me upstairs," she stated again. He turned towards her, ready to immediately decline. But then he looked into her pained eyes and he couldn't help but acknowledge the rage inside of him. He felt that rage and at first that was why he was going to decline, but then it was what made him listen.
"Fine," he answered, walking towards her bedroom leaving her to follow.
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Faith walked into the room behind him and closed the door. She glanced up at him and walked slowly towards him. She placed her hand on his cheek gently and kissed his lips with the same softness. Halfway through the tender kiss, Xander grabbed her arms roughly and assaulted her mouth with his.
"Xander-" she began but he quickly cut her off as he pushed her against the wall without any regard towards either of their comfort.
"Don't say anything," he warned. He moved in for another kiss but she dodged it and looked deeply into his eyes with an equal glare.
"I don't take orders." Xander was so captivated by her stare that he didn't realize she had moved until he felt his pants drop to the floor. He lost his focus and glanced quickly down at his fallen pants and then back up at her, "Look at that…"
"What?"
"I can still make you blush." She let out a small laugh but was silenced when he quickly forced his hand around her neck. He stroked her jaw with his thumb with his hand still lingering at her throat,
"I can make you sore." With his free hand he undid her jeans and pushed them to the floor.
"You wish," she challenged.
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