Chapter 81
He pulled the door to the classroom open and strode to the desk.
"Get your cauldron from the cupboard and start with a simple boil cure potion. Pay close attention to the instructions and DON'T MAKE ANY NOISE" he growled and sat down.
Dudley stomped to the cupboard and seized his cauldron.
Can't he walk without sounding like a rampaging elephant, Snape thought and massaged his temple.
After Dudley had placed his cauldron on the desk, he went to the cupboard that held the ingredients and started to take out what he needed.
The potion master was groaning in pain when the sound of grating door hinges pierced his brain.
Dudley however quickly read over the instructions before he started to crush the snake fangs.
When the pestle pounded in the mortar, the potion master thought he was going to die. He conjured ear plugs and tried to relax.
Dudley added the dried nettles and the stewed horn slugs before he stirred 5 times counter-clockwise, as instructed.
He thought about ways how he could get out of that obnoxious detention that night. Scrubbing the bedpans with the gloomy potion master glaring at him had been hard enough.
Starting to get angry, he threw the crushed snake fangs into the cauldron, causing the content to splash on the desk with a hissing noise.
Professor Snape gave him a threatening look and growled "You better don't splash any more of it, or you will find yourself in detention"
Dudley just snorted in annoyance, which Snape couldn't hear because of the ear plugs.
I already have detention today, so he will have to come up with something else, he thought while he added the porcupine quills to the potion.
Snape had allowed himself to sit there with his eyes closed for a minute when he heard a loud hissing noise. Instantly alarmed, his eyes popped open and he stared at the boy.
Clouds of acid green smoke hovered over the cauldron and the Gryffindor stared at the disaster in shock.
Snape knew exactly what was going to happen and grabbed his wand. He wanted to vanish the failed potion before anything else could happen.
Just then the cauldron started to melt and the fluid burned a hole through the desk and dripped on the floor.
The potion master dashed forward with drawn wand but at the same moment, Dudley jumped off his chair.
"This stuff is burning through my shoes" he screamed and pushed the table away from him. The sudden movement caused the desk to fall over and the cauldron flew through the air.
Snape stared at the cauldron in terror before it knocked him on the floor, spilling the whole content over him.
Within seconds his robes were drenched and his skin sprouted angry red boils.
He glared at his hands which looked like he was suffering from a bad form of the plague, before he got off the floor and rushed over to the boy.
"This means a week worth of detention starting tonight at seven." he growled icily. "Out now, before I forget myself and hex you into the next millennium!"
Dudley however was rooted to the spot. Before he could think twice, he burst out into laughter at the sight in front of him.
"Oh my god, I wish I had a camera" he burst out, holding his sides before he fell backwards and landed on his rear.
"2 weeks detention and 50 points from Gryffindor" Snape then screamed and waved his wand over the mess.
Dudley was still rolling on the floor laughing as Snape swept out of the room and back to the dungeons.
The Gryffindors were not pleased when they found out that Dudley had lost them 50 points, but everybody silently wished he could have seen Snape covered with red boils.
Especially Neville felt somehow satisfied that he wasn't the only one who messed up this particular potion. The same had happened to him in their first year, but he had had the disadvantage that the potion had been spilled on him.
Right after his Divination class with his aunt, he rushed down to dinner. He was starving and he needed a solid foundation before he started in the owlery.
Right when he entered the Great hall, his path was blocked by Lady Tanya and Professor Wells, who were talking with each other.
"Hello Dudley, what are you doing here?" Lady Tanya said and twinkled mischievously.
"Eating... what do you think" Dudley bellowed. His stomach was growling and the smell of the food made his mouth water.
The other students were already eating and he tried to push his way through to get to the Gryffindor table.
"I don't think you have time to eat tonight. As I know, you have detention with Professor Snape at seven; this gives you just two hours to get the owlery clean. So you better hurry then, you will need the time, trust me" Lady Tanya snickered evilly as she handed him a raw carrot.
"This will have to do until breakfast"
Dudley glared at her in utter terror.
"But I have to... have to eat" he gasped before he felt his anger and frustration rise again. "You old hag can't keep me from eating! This is illegal... that's grievous bodily harm. No it's attempted murder... I'm going to die of starvation" he shouted.
Professor Wells had to hold back laughter when Lady Tanya poked him in his fat belly and said "Oh you won't die that fast. You have enough to live on. Enjoy your carrot"
Dudley watched them walk off in frustration, sighing loudly as he watched the witch grabbing a piece of cheese cake from the Hufflepuff table.
He stomped to the owlery and started scrubbing the owl droppings off the floor.
How disgusting is that, he thought as he continued with his work.
After an hour, he was sweating terribly and his arms were sore. He placed Shaka on the floor, tired of him clawing in his sides.
The rat remained next to him and started to squeak terribly. Then an owl swept down and grabbed the anxious rat with its beak.
"Let my rat go!" Dudley screamed and started swinging his shovel at the owl. The owl however didn't think of it and landed on the highest bar.
The boy continued swatting at the owl until it dropped the rat. Dudley picked him up and put him back in his pocket.
He had totally forgotten that owls ate rats and now he just wanted to finish so he could get out of there.
It was just 15 minutes until 7 when he was finished. He dashed down the stairs and hurried to the dungeons. He had wanted to get cleaned up a little before he had to face Professor Snape, but he didn't have the time.
He jumped down the marble staircase and crossed a bunch of Ravenclaws on the way, which wrinkled their noses because of the disgusting smell.
Just when he reached the stairs to the dungeons, he heard a cold voice from behind "Look at this mess. You're leaving spots of owl dropping everywhere. You clean that up right away"
Dudley stopped short and spun around, only to find Filch glare into his face.
"I'm sorry, but I don't have the time. Professor Snape is awaiting me and I can't be late"
Afraid of what Snape might do to him in case he would really be late, he didn't even want to think of. He shifted from one foot to the other, anxious to get away and get Snape's detention over with. The growling of his stomach wasn't helping either and the terrible smell of his own body added to his discomfort. He felt bile rising in his oesophagus and his head felt dizzy.
The caretaker just grunted and walked off towards the broom closet. "I will inform the headmistress about this outrageous behaviour" he muttered, followed by his cat.
Dudley took the chance to run off before the caretaker could add another detention today.
He almost flew down the steps; when he reached the last step, he tripped on the hem on his robe and felt.
Just when he tried to get up again, he heard an old clock chime.
"Oh bugger... it's seven" he gasped and tried again to get up.
His left ankle was hurting terribly and wouldn't support his body weight.
Tears of pain and fear streamed down his face while he limped down the gloomy corridor.
This was the worst day of his life, he observed and right now he just wanted to die to get it over with or to be home with mommy and a large strawberry shake.
With the least bit of strength he could muster, he knocked on the door to the potions classroom.
"Enter" he heard the cold and hard voice of the potion master.
Slowly he pushed the door open and entered.
"You're late"
Dudley didn't reply. The teacher still sounded mad and he didn't want to give him another reason to add even more detention than he already had.
Snape was alerted by a terrible fetidness and looked up from the papers he was grading.
"How dare you to approach me in such a state?" he growled and distorted his face in disgust.
"Excuse me Professor, but..." Dudley tried to excuse himself, but Snape cut him off.
"I don't excuse anything. I don't tolerate impertinence or lack of effort when it comes to studies. I trust you will have to learn that being insolent will bring you nowhere in this school"
"Whatever..." Dudley whispered unnerved, the stories about the Weasley twins' newest antics still fresh in mind.
"Did you say anything?" Snape growled dangerously low. "You better not or this detention might be your last"
Dudley swallowed hard. He knew for sure that this was a dread he shouldn't take too lightly.
In the short time in this school he had heard enough rumors about the potion master... from being a vampire to being a deatheater and he was afraid that some of those rumors might be true.
"Here, sit at this barrel with horned toads and disembowel them. The entrails have to be sorted into the different organs and places into different jars"
Snape pointed at a chair next to a barrel with a content that actually smelled worse than Dudley.
Bile rushed up into Dudley's mouth again as he looked at the pile of dead toads, which looked disgustingly slimy.
He shuddered terribly, sat down and started to work.
Snape, who was back at his desk, glared at his student. The boy was positively a mess.
Owl dropping was all over his clothes and his face, obviously from wiping sweat off it.
The smell was almost unbearable mixed with the evaporations of the dead toads, but his nose was used to this sort of discomfort after so many years in business.
"Do you know how to identify the different organs?"
Dudley shook his head mutely mutely, afraid to open his mouth.
Snape groaned and walked over to him.
"We need kidney, liver and spleen. You put them separately into the different jars and put the rest into the bucket. Hagrid will get it for his monsters later. Now how you identify what is what."
He grabbed a toad and a knife and started to cut the stomach open.
"Here on the let, the triangle shaped organ with the auburn color is the liver. But be careful not to cut in it! We need it intact"
Snape too the liver out and placed it in the jar with the right label.
Dudley was gagging and it took all of his strength not to throw up.
After that, Snape took out kidneys and spleen and sorted it into the jars before he threw the rest of the entrails into the bucket.
"Then you put the toad on the grate to dry. Understood?"
Dudley was concentrating hard and his head started spinning.
"Speak up boy or it's another detention and I think you already have for the next two weeks." Snape growled dangerously.
Dudley didn't want anymore detention; this one was killing him already.
He opened his mouth to speak and took a deep breath, which turned out to be a bad mistake.
The terrible odour of the entrails made his stomach revolt and he couldn't stop it anymore.
Snape who was standing in front of him didn't see it coming and just shook his head in utter frustration and anger when a flush of throw up hit him full force.
Dudley emptied his stomach, mostly bile though, on the potion master's robes.
Snape stared in disgust at the mess and the miserable boy in front of him.
"You will clean this mess up... with your tongue if necessary and then you continue your work. You won't leave here until you're done and my office is spotless"
The venom in the teacher's voice made Dudley shake with fear.
He knew that whining would only get him into more trouble, so he sucked up the nasty remark and started to wipe the vomit from the floor with his own robes.
Snape rushed in his private chambers and quickly changed robes. He felt dirty and besmirched so a cleaning spell wouldn't suffice.
When he left his bedroom, he found Dudley standing in his sitting room, munching on a tray of biscuits the house-elves had left there earlier.
The potion master swore under his breath for leaving his doors unlocked. He would have never expected anyone being so bold to actually enter his chambers.
"How dare you" he yelled in fury, pointing his wand at the boy.
Dudley dropped the biscuit he had been holding and stared at the raging man in utter terror.
"Rubeta alterum" Snape bellowed and a flash of yellow light hit Dudley in the chest.
Dudley wanted to scream but out of his mouth just came a quacking sound.
Oh my god, he shrunk me, was all he could think before he started flying through the air.
Snape caught him with a hard grip and placed him on his palm.
"I will inform the headmistress about this intrusion and you can expect a severe punishment."
While Snape continued to threaten the boy, Dudley caught a glance of himself in the mirror on the wall behind them.
The face of a frog on Snape's palm glared at him with protruding eyes.
"Oh my god!" he tried to scream but only a mere squeaking could be heard.
"Now you continue with your task and nothing else! If I ever catch you messing with my personal belongings then you will stay a frog and I will search for a brain in the thick skull of yours. Although I might not find one, I will still try very hard"
The mad glinting in Snape's eyes made Dudley's stomach feel sick all over again.
With a flick of his wand, Snape reversed the spell and shooed him into the office.
"Now start" he hissed and Dudley started scrubbing once more.
It was past midnight when the potion master was finally satisfied and sent him back to Gryffindor tower.
Smelling worse than a purification plant, he crept up the numerous stairs, accompanied by the insulting remarks of several portraits along his way.
He knew, he couldn't go to bed like that, so he decided to run into shower real quick first.
Unfortunately he had no access to his pyjamas, so he pondered the possibilities of being discovered, but in the end he decided he had no other choice.
The terrible smell would raise everyone in the dormitory instantly, so he would have to run up there naked.
He rushed into the showers and got rid of the stains and odours, before he sneaked out of the bathroom.
"Damn... Peeves" he hissed.
There was no way in the world that he would pass this twit again, so there was only one way left.
Covered only with a small towel, he crept into the common room and was about to ascent the stairs, when all of a sudden the lights went on and two Gryffindors stared at him.
"Well, who do we have here" Fred sneered in his best Snape manner.
"Just leave me alone, it's been a terrible day without you two idiots" Dudley said and started to walk upstairs.
"Did you here that, brother dear?" George said in mock surprise and turned the stairs into a slide.
Dudley slid down, desperately holding on to the towel, until he sat on the common room floor again.
"Well, what do you want?" Dudley bellowed while he pushed his masses into an upright position.
"We need to have a little chat with you. Stop losing points for our house with your foolish attitude. And stop kissing the Slytherins butts. Trust us; they are not worth your attention... well ... maybe worth your attention, but not the attention of a decent human being. If you don't stop with this, we will make you sorry" Fred glared at him with venom in his voice.
Dudley was a little bit scared; this was so unlike the two jokers.
"Tata!" Peeves announced.
The poltergeist had floated up from behind and pulled the towel away from Dudley's private parts.
"Oh my god, I'm blind... I'm blind" George screamed in mock terror, but his brother clasped his hand over his mouth.
"Do you want to wake the whole tower?" Fred chided and held up their camera.
"Well" he then said and turned towards Dudley. "We now have proof that your wand is definitely not worth to be mentioned and when you don't want to see the picture in every common room then you better behave"
"But that's blackmail" Dudley hissed while he tried to cover himself with his hands.
"Yes... we know" George quipped and the twins went back to their dorm, grinning like lunatics.