Wishing and Hoping
I see you sitting with her. She's not taking any notice of you, but you are happy, because this is what you've always wanted. Since I have known you, I have known you liked her, but she does not care. Talking to her friends like you do not even exist. I know you are bored, and you would say something, but you do not want to upset her.
Overhead, the sky is darkening. You should be coming home, but she insists you stay for a little longer. You sigh, as she drags you off to somewhere new. Even I can tell it, she is using you. Just so she can say her boyfriend is the famous King of Games. I would speak to you, but I do not want you to know I have been watching.
Yes, watching. I have been watching you all the time; I have watched every date you have ever been on. So I am just here, on my bed, hugging one of my pillows. My eyes are closed and your grandfather thinks I am asleep. But I am watching you. Your grandfather will worry if you do not return soon. He does not like you being out after dark; you are so small, he is worried you will get picked out as a target. But he does not tell you that.
He tells me though. I am here more often than you are; where would I go? Usually, I would just go with you, as your grandfather would like. He wants me to protect you. But whenever she sees me, her look says "Look what I've stolen from you. Look what you could never have.". She is using you to spite me, after I turned her down. There is nothing she could give me. Everything I want would come from you.
I smile softly as you finally escape her, turning towards home. She still does not care, going off with her friends again. I would not ever let you go, but you are not mine to start with. One can dream, I suppose.
What if, one day, you were free of her? Would you come to me... or would there be another? You just see me as a 'big brother' now. I see you, and I find myself wishing that you would be mine to hug and kiss, though I know my wishes are futile. Why would you ever come to me? I am just like you.
The clouds are gathering. There is going to be a storm tonight. Rain starts to fall, soaking the world and you. But you are walking slowly. Why are you walking so slowly? You are getting drenched, but you don't seem to care. You stare at the ground, and I can see, with the rainwater running over your cheeks, there are tears. Please do not cry! What reason have you to be so sad?
A flash of lightning brightens everything for a second. Now you run for home, desperate to be out of the storm. You will find me asleep when you get back, just like you always do.
I hear the door unlock, and see you step inside. Your grandfather hurries to you, relieving you of your soaked jacket, and ordering you upstairs for dry clothes. Your feet tread lightly on the stairs, and I open my eyes a crack for a glimpse of you as you run past my open door. Your pace slows as you pass, you look at me for a while. I have already closed my eyes tight again. Then you hurry on, eager to be out of the wet clothes.
It is half past nine. You went out for dinner with her, but she got side-tracked by her friends. You do not want to ask your grandfather for something to eat, because he will be angry that you have not eaten already. Besides, he will be going to bed soon. When you next pass my door, you are in pyjamas. Once again, your pace slows as you pass.
Your grandfather comes up the stairs. You bid him goodnight, and he goes to bed. For a few minutes, I can hear him clattering around, before getting into bed and falling silent. You have gone back to your room.
Outside, the storm rages on. Just as I begin to fall asleep, there is a loud crash of thunder, and you run into my bedroom, scared. Remembering that I am asleep, you turn to go.
"Yugi?" I say, opening my eyes to look at his silouhette against the dimly lit window. "Are you alright?" I can not see your face, but I can tell you smile weakly.
"Yes, Yami." you reply. "I'm fine... just scared by the storm a little." I sit up, and turn on my bedside lamp. You look so cute, your hair messed up because you did not dry it before you went to bed, your blue starry pyjamas.
"I didn't mean to disturb you, I'm sure you're less than worried about a thunderstorm." you say softly.
"That is alright, Yugi. I do not mind." I say, my eyes meeting yours. "If you are scared, you can stay here with me. If you wish." I add quickly. I expect you to say no, go back to your room, leave me alone. But, your smile strengthens, and you walk towards me.
"Thank you, Yami..." you murmur quietly, climbing into bed with me. I say nothing, surprised for a moment.
"I am always here for you." I say finally, turning off the light, and lying down again, facing you. There is silence for a minute or two, before the thunder crashes again, and you jump, making a little squeaking noise. I can feel you shivering next to me.
"It is alright, Yugi." I whisper. "It is just a little thunder. Nothing to be afraid of." You inch closer to me.
"I'm sorry..." you reply. Suddenly, I realise it is not just out of fear that you are shaking. You are crying too.
"Yugi, why are you crying?" I ask quietly. You sniff, and sigh.
"It's nothing, don't worry about it." you say.
"It is not nothing if you are crying about it. Please tell me." I speak kindly. Another lightning flash outside, and you wait for the thunder again before continuing.
"Anzu..." Your voice is muffled as you bury your face in the pillow.
"Anzu?" I repeat unsurely. "I thought you were happy to be with her!"
"Well... I've always wanted her to be my girlfriend... but she's so stuck up now." you inform me. "She just parades the fact that she's going out with the King of Games, even though that's really you. She's more interested in pulling other boys now than me. I wish she'd disappear!" You finish angrily, your tears returning anew. I sigh, not sure of what to say.
"M-Maybe you should break up with her..." I say eventually, my voice shaking.
"I don't want to upset her." you say quietly.
"Yugi!" I push myself up to rest on one elbow. "Look how much she has upset you. You do not need to concern yourself with her feelings, since she is not concerned with yours." The feeling of a warm smile ripples through my mind.
"You're right, Yami. Thank you." Your warm arms wrap around me for a short moment, and when you let go, I lay back down, closing my eyes. The room fell silent.
"Have you ever been in love, Yami?" Your soft voice asks. I immediately feel my face heat up, as the blood rushes to my cheeks.
"Uh... well..." I do not know what to say. What can I say without saying I love you, Yugi?
"Come on, Yami!" you encourage playfully.
"Uh... I suppose so..." I answer, hoping my shaking voice does not betray me.
"Hm? Who was she?" I feel my face get hotter; I am glad that it is dark, and you can not see me. My hands nervously play with the sheets.
"W-Well... n-not a sh-she, exactly..." My voice tails off into the darkness. You are silent for a little while. I half expect you to jump out of the bed, run away from me.
"S-So..." You seem unsure what to say. "So you prefer boys...?"
"Yes..." I say so quiet it can hardly be heard. Thunder crashes in the ensuing silence.
"Who was he then?" you ask, rephrasing your earlier question. How to answer this? If I answer, then you will figure it out, and then you will hate me...
"Is. I am in love with someone now..." I reply slowly.
"Really? Why haven't you asked them out? Or have you?" Your questions come in a flurry; are you that interested.
"I have not asked them out... yet..." I say.
"Why?" Your voice is filled with curiousity, I feel you sit up beside me.
"Because they are already with someone!" I say, finishing my sentence almost angrily as I hold back tears. Yes, tears. I am truly saddened by the fact that you could never be mine.
The light clicks on.
"Yami, open your eyes." you ask quietly. Slowly, I open my damp eyes, blinking as they adjust to the light. You look down on me, fix your eyes on mine. The tears spill over my cheeks, your deep amethyst eyes searching for an answer, and suddenly flickering with realisation.
"It's me, isn't it?" you say. "You love me." I nod slowly, unable to find words. You fall silent too, a pensive look crossing your angelic face. I close my eyes quickly, breaking your soul-searching gaze from my mind, tears coming in sobs now. You are thinking of ways to tell me no, but you do not want to hurt me? My emotions have been so easily toyed with, do not worry about me. Why should you worry about me? I am nothing.
Something warm presses against my lips. My eyes snap open, and meet yours again. Your eyes are smiling at me. You pull away slowly, ending our first kiss. How I have waited for that one moment! You are so close to me, your body pushed against mine...
"Do not tease me..." I say breathlessly.
"I'm not teasing." you reply, pushing your lips to mine again. My arms slip around your waist, pulling you so that you are on top of me. I feel your fingers in my hair, your touch so soft... Your tongue flicks against my lips, and I gladly part them, deepening our kiss, my arms hugging you ever closer. I moan quietly as you explore my mouth, leaving your taste everywhere. Finally, you part with me, breathing deeply. Your fingers trace my cheekbone, slipping down past my chin, to stroke my neck gently.
"Yami... I love you," you say in a whisper, burying your face in my shoulder. Too happy even to cry for joy, I have awaited those words for an eternity. I sigh happily, stroking your back with one hand.
"I love you too, my Yugi." I whisper back. "I always have." Your lips place butterfly kisses on my neck and shoulder. Suddenly, you jump and nip my skin as the thunder crashes outside. I hug you tighter, comfortingly, whispering gentle words in your ear. Your body relaxes against mine, you lick the tiny wound you made in my shoulder. I shiver involuntarily, moaning lightly.
"I will always be here for you, Yugi." I say quietly, reaching up to turn out the lamp. "No matter what."
"No matter what..." you echo, your breath evening as you drift off to sleep. I kiss you one more time, on the forehead, and close my own eyes, falling asleep content for the first time in millenia. You are mine, my little angel... all mine...
My wish and my hope...
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Pan: Please tell me what you think! I don't usually write this kind of thing. Please also tell me if you want me to write more, I haven't decided whether to leave this as a one-shot or not.
Thank you for reading anyways!