Disclaimer: I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho, Togashi the wonderful guy married to the creator of Sailor Moon does. Please don't sue, I'm so poor that I have to go to a community college and can barely afford that. Also, I do not own Lucky Charms as I am not the owner or a shareholder of General Mills.

A/N: I really hadn't intended this to have another chapter, my hints at the end were supposed to lead the reader into realizing that the future is never perfect, like at the end of Princess Bride (the book version). But then my ideas became too interesting, and then I got a great review, so I had to continue!

Mukuro Gets Knocked Up-Part One

She sat on the bathroom floor for the third time that week, clicking the fingers of her right hand against the tiles, waiting again for the nausea that threatened to re-empty her stomach. The sudden uprising surprised her, but Mukuro managed to lean over the toilet in time. A short time later and she was washing her face in the sink and swishing clean cool water in her mouth to get rid of the taste.

"Maybe I should fire those new cooks too." She glared with her one blue eye at her reflection. "Feh, I shoulda just let the old cooks live. The testers aren't sick, so why the Mekai am I?"

Feeling a little better, she made her way down a few flights of stairs to her main dining table where breakfast awaited her. An aging, livery clad servant stood awaiting her orders as she sat down.

"I want Lucky Charms, go find some for me." She ordered absently, concentrating at the moment on turning her mechanical right eye on.

"Lucky charms? But my Lord, you can't eat charms, they aren't food!" He received a full on death glare from the most powerful female in the three worlds.

"I want Lucky Charms, as in the ningen cereal." When the old demon started trembling in fear and looking confused, Mukuro sighed, "Never mind, just get me the communication mirror, I'll get Hiei to do it."

Moments later she had the mirror calibrated for Minamino Shuuichi's telephone. Hiei, Mukuro's heir and future ruler of Alaric, was currently on vacation in the Ningenkai with his family of one-year-old triplets and Kurama, but he'd just have to give up vacation time to sort things out here, or else.

"What the Mekai do you want?" A rough voice laden with sleepiness answered after the seventh ring.

"Hiei, come back to work. And buy some Lucky Charms on the way." She would have hung up, but she wanted to hear the young demon's reaction.

"Fuck you." She wondered if it was a hangover slurring his speech. "K'rama kept me up all night with his silly 'needs' and then the babies got hungry, all three of 'em, and it's too fuckin' early for your shit."

She glared at the black surface of the mirror, pretending to see Hiei's tired face. "So, you can't even keep up with the fox anymore. If you won't get me that ningen cereal, I'll just have to go blow up the Ningenkai in search of it."

"Wha' 'bout that periph'ry field?"

"Hiei, that was destroyed five years ago by your brother-in-law."

"Oh."

"Go get me that cereal." She ordered more firmly.

"Fine, I'll get yer fuckin' cereal, but you gotta deal with the fox's temper." She barely picked up the words 'Bionic Bitch' mumbled just before the fire demon hung up.

Sighing, she said to herself, "At least one person can take orders, even if it takes a while." With that, she proceeded to inspect and review her entire castle staff and guards, firing nearly indiscriminately as she went past.

She had been making the lives of her servants miserable for the past half hour before she entered the servants' quarters to make sure they cleaned their own rooms too. Oddly, the maids seemed calm, too calm. Everything seemed to be in order: beds made, floors scrubbed, and whatever the Mekai else she paid them to do, so Mukuro could not find a single fault with them.

And so she yelled at them, "Why are you all so damned calm?" Ah, it felt good to yell again.

"My Lady, we… we're used to this, every month you'd be like this, only we're the only ones allowed in your bedchambers." Now the female youkai seemed a little nervous.

'Wait,' Mukuro thought silently, 'every month, they mean my period don't they? But I'm not….' The S-class demon turned to a nearby calendar that she had noticed during the inspection. She snorted as she saw one date circled crudely circled in blood. 'Yes, that's when I start… only….' Glaring at everything she could see, Mukuro came to a realization.

"We were a little surprised that, well, you are a week later than normal, so you caught us off guard." The maid had continued talking with a tremble in her voice.

'Only I'm not PMS-ing.' The gloomy thought caused an eddy of dark counter thoughts in her mind, possible repercussions and outcomes.

When Hiei entered the palace four hours later, a box of American cereal tucked under one arm, the palace was in an uproar. Servants darted everywhere, guards openly hit on maids, and all 70 something of Mukuro's generals where bickering and trying to stall the many clan and village leaders that sought audiences with the Makai Lady.

Kirin, second in charge after Hiei, came running to the short fire demon shortly upon his arrival. "Thank the gods, Hiei, she's gone nuts! She's locked herself in her room and refuses to come out, and she's threatened to kill anyone who tries to enter."

"Hn." Hiei growled slightly before calling out orders, "Tell the representatives to relax, I'll handle things shortly if she won't come out. Get me a spoon, a bowl, and a jar of milk." Once his commands were carried out, Hiei sped up to Mukuro's bedchambers.

At the door, he called firmly to her, "Open this door. Whatever's wrong can't be worth you moping like some onna."

"No." Her voice sounded weaker than normal, which was not a good sign to Hiei.

"I've got that ningen stuff you wanted."

"I hate you!"

Hiei sighed before blowing the door off its hinges with a strong blast of youki. Striding confidently, he slammed the spoon and box of Lucky Charms on his boss's nightstand, and more carefully set down the milk and bowl. "Eat, you'll feel better."

"Why bother? I'll just throw it up tomorrow." She was hiding under the covers, a pillow over her head. Hiei was starting to get scared.

"It won't be in your stomach anymore by then."

"So?"

"Are you dying or something? Did you get an STD from that pretty bastard you took to your bed last?" Hiei tried fishing for a reason for her odd behavior. She didn't reply, so he gently lit her pillow on fire. Mukuro allowed it to burn, and the fire demon was forced to throw it off of her. "Mukuro, speak to me."

"That pretty bastard made me pregnant." Her face was wet with tears, her head free of her brown covering, the scar tissue covering the right half of her face as puffy as her reddened cheek. Grabbing the other pillow, Mukuro again buried herself, seeking to hide from her heir.

Softly, he called to her as he prepared her lunch. "Are you sure?"

"My period's late, I've got mood swings, cravings and morning sickness, and the doctors tested me for some hormone and confirmed it." Her blue eye peeked out at him from under the purple pillow, "What am I going to do?"

"Babies are great... pains in the asses. Too cute to kill even after they spit up all over your last clean outfit or if they find a way out of their diapers and make a mess, and they will find a way out of their diapers, even if you duct tape it to their skin." He sighed again. "You don't have to have it, and if you do, you don't have to keep it. Whatever, it's up to you, just eat and clean yourself up. There're a lot of people waiting for you down there, and I know you don't want me taking charge of the nation yet."

Eventually, Mukuro did stop crying and worrying long enough to see to her duties, though she did have some problems remaining impartial to the problems of her people. If there was a case where a female or child was involved, she immediately favored the child or the female if there was no child. Several hours later however, her depression returned, and she claimed she was tired from a battle with one of her generals. Then the powerful demoness disappeared, leaving Hiei alone with her subjects until they were all sent home. The fire youkai eventually found her in a garden watching water fall from a fountain.

"Do you think I'd be a good mother?" The S-class demoness asked him without breaking her concentration on the fountain.

"Did you ever think I'd be a good father?"

"But they love you." She referred to the triplets.

"When I'm actually there." Which reminded Hiei of all the vacation time he was missing to help her deal with this personal crisis. "Listen, there's a simple way to see if you have what it takes to be a mother or not. I'll bring one of the kids here for you to baby-sit. If you can handle that, you can be a good mom."

"I don't want one of your spoiled little pseudo-ningens!" Mukuro yelled spontaneously.

Her vassal suddenly had the urge to hit his head repeatedly into a wall. "I know that, just calm down and try to be rational about this."

She stood up suddenly; her battle aura flaring wildly, behind her the fountain cracked and fell into the pool beneath it. "Shut up! Just shut up you... you... male!" Her aura dissipated just as quickly, as she started to sniffle. "I'm sorry Hiei. I didn't mean to yell. It's not your fault, I know that. It's his fault! He got me pregnant, and he needs to pay for that." Mukuro started fuming again.

"Dead or alive?"

"Alive, I want to deal with him myself. Just bring him to me." She starts cackling evilly, and Hiei wisely leaves intent in the hunt for the demon stupid enough to get the Bionic Bitch pregnant.

A/N: Yes, I am pretty certain that "Bionic Bitch" is a fandom thing, but I like it anyways. I'm not sure if Kirin is really the name of the guy I think it is, I'll have to look that up again later. I don't know when I'll get inspiration to finish this story, since I'm still not sure whether or not to make the father Sesshoumaru from Inuyasha (which I don't own either), but that could get messy, so... I'm thinking I'm thinking. I'll figure things out eventually, when I get bored enough to continue this fic. Please remember that this is just humor basically, and it has no real point other than the random ideas I generally have for stories, like making people have kids, because children are our future, and you can't hug your children with nuclear arms! But can you hug them with half mechanical demon arms? Don't expect this to get updated anytime soon.