Author's notes and warnings: This is a birthday fic for FYTasChiML Yahoo group. Yeh! ::throws confetti:: Happy birthday, no da!!
Warning? Hmmm…naughty Chichiri, and Tasuki's bad language…that's about it. I think I went a bit silly but I hope it turns out okay. Originally I was planning a drabble but holy cow…if you're familiar with AFL…well, you know what happened.
The reference to Suzaku's beak – I got that from Xellas. She wrote that in one of her stories and I just can't get it out of my head. ::hugs:: Thanks for the quick beta. I'm sorry I didn't give you a whole lot of time.
Enjoy and any feedback is more than welcome, no da!
Disclaimer: Like usual, they don't belong to me...
The Favor
by Moonraven
"Ne, Chiri...I need a really, really big, big, big, big...BIG favor."
Tasuki was on his knees in front of the monk, his hands clasped together as if he was praying.
"My..." Chichiri put down the scroll he was reading and turned in his seat to blink down at his bandit friend. "That's pretty...big, na no da."
Tasuki grinned nervously at him and Chichiri couldn't help wondering - a little nervously himself - just how big was this favor?
"Nani, Tasuki-kun, no da? I won't teleport anymore sake here, na no da! You guys are completely wasted all the time now..."
Chichiri trailed off when Tasuki suddenly put his forehead on the ground in front of him. The monk was now beyond nervous. Warning bells of all kinds began going off in his head.
"Please, please, please. It's only for a few days!"
"What's only for a few days?"
"Ineedyoutopretendtobemyboyfriend."
"What?" Chichiri couldn't have heard Tasuki right. Did he say that he wanted Chichiri to be his boyfriend?
"I need a boyfriend! Please, please, please!"
He needed a… Chichiri burst out laughing and couldn't stop until he found that he'd fallen out of his chair and was giggling on the floor next to a very indignant bandit.
"You need a boyfriend, no da?" More peals of laughter. "Very funny, Tasuki-kun, no da!"
"C'mon, Chiri, I'm serious." Tasuki was now glaring at him.
"No, you're not. You're Tasuki!" Chichiri clutched his stomach as he doubled over with more laughter.
"Very funny. I knew your sense of humor was warped! Damn it, I don't know why I thought you'd help me!" Tasuki growled and got up angrily, cutting off Chichiri's mirth instantly.
"Wait, Tasuki-kun, no da." Chichiri sat up and wiped his eyes. "You weren't joking, no da?"
"No, I wasn't joking, no da!" Tasuki ran a hand through his hair and sighed. "That idiot Kouji was talking to my mom when he was in my old hometown last month. I don't know what the hell he'd told her but she's convinced you're my boyfriend and she's coming to visit, check you out and all that." Tasuki sat down heavily on Chichiri's bed and hung his head. "I would fry him but I kinda need him ta run the place when you and I are traveling and all..."
"Can't you just tell her that it's a big misunderstanding?" Chichiri asked, coming to sit next to his friend. "I'm sure she'll understand. Besides...wouldn't she rather see you with a girl?"
Tasuki snorted. "She knows I hate women. Fuck, I think the whole world knows I'm gay. And I think she's told the entire village about us...very proud too, I heard. I don't want her ta lose face or nothin' like that."
Chichiri was lost for words. He normally prided himself in his ability to solve problems but he couldn't seem to come up with any solution at the moment. Of course this wasn't your normal everyday problem... Trust Tasuki to always come up with something to make his life interesting. Chaotic but certainly interesting.
"Would she believe that you took a monk for a boyfriend, no da? Wouldn't it be more...suitable for you to...well...be with another bandit?"
"Don't ask me for details, Chiri. It's that damn Kouji's fault! He said it was you...a fellow seishi."
"I see."
"Please, Chiri. Just this once? Don't I always do what you tell me to? Well, most of the time anyway...okay, not really...but it's the thought that counts, right?"
Oh darn it; the big puppy dog eyes. As if Chichiri wouldn't give in to whatever Tasuki wanted eventually…
"And if you do this, I swear by Suzaku's beak that I'll stop drinking for...I don't know...a week?"
"A Week!" Chichiri shook his head. "This big, big, big, BIG favor of yours is worth at least several years of no sake, no da!"
"Two months!"
"One year."
"It's only for a few days, damn it! Four months!"
"Six, take it or leave it."
"Fine! Damn it...are you sure you're a monk?"
"What's that, Tasuki-kun, no da?"
"Nothin'. So you'll be my boyfriend?" Tasuki grinned and wagged his eyebrows.
Chichiri nearly whimpered. He couldn't believe he was doing this. "I don't know..."
"We'll get you a new outfit!" Tasuki clearly hadn't heard the 'I don't know' part and jumped up enthusiastically. "You'll look normal like the rest of us."
"What do you mean 'normal'? And what's wrong with my clothes?" Chichiri frowned and clutched his robe around him securely.
"...none of that monkish stuff and more...well, bandit-ish stuff. Yeah..." Tasuki was now pacing the room, ticking things off on his fingers, completely oblivious to Chichiri's protests. "And the staff's gotta go--"
"Why?" Chichiri clutched his staff to his chest in dismay.
"And the hair..."
Chichiri reached up and clutched at that protectively as well. "You are NOT touching my hair! Do you know how long it takes me toget it tolook like this? Hey! Are you listening to me?"
"Gotta move your stuff into my room too...OW! What the hell was that for?" Tasuki rubbed the back of his head angrily. "See? That is exactly why that thing's gotta go. You can't hit your boyfriend on the head with it in front of his mom!"
"If the boyfriend is an idiot, why not?" Chichiri asked and he lifted the staff for another whack.
"Damn it, Chiri. What the hell did I do now?"
Chichiri took a deep breath and lowered his staff while he glared at his friend. "You can't just...just...give me a make-over, na no da! Besides, didn't Kouji-kun tell your mom what I looked like?"
"Oh." Tasuki thought about that for a moment. "I don't know."
Chichiri whacked Tasuki soundly with his staff. "Well, go ask him!"
"Okay...she should be here soon...er...and Chiri?"
"Hmmm?" Chichiri was busy staring at his belongings that were scattered all over Tasuki's room and didn't bother to look at his friend. He'd dreamed about this, of course…but never quite like this. His staff was quickly hidden away in the closet much to Chichiri's consternation and his robe…his beautiful kesa was draped over a large chair as if it were a…a common throw!
Kouji hadn't given details of Chichiri's appearance to Tasuki's mom but Chichiri refused to change his looks. Tasuki hadn't seem to care but he was most adamant about the staff. Chichiri had met his friend halfway and dropped the kesa as well. He felt...bare in just his shirt, even though he'd gone without it many times in the past. This time it was different.
This time he was meeting Tasuki's mother. He couldn't help feeling giddy and lightheaded at the thought…
What in the world was he thinking? It wasn't as though this were real...
"Chiri? Are you listening to me?"
"What?" Chichiri blinked up at his friend. "Oh...I'm sorry, you were saying?"
"I'm the only son...my mom expects me to...well...you know..." Tasuki was blushing.
Chichiri stared at the flushed face and knew he was in trouble. "I'm not sure I want to know."
"I know you're older than me and all...and you're wiser and powerful and super cool too...it's just…well..."
Of course…the big-macho-fearless-bandit-leader image…right. Chichiri wanted to laugh again but he knew Tasuki wasn't going to like being made fun of...
Oh what the heck...Tasuki owed him, no da! Chichiri was certainly going to enjoy this!
"Tasuki-chan wants to be seme, no da?" Chichiri blinked coyly at him.
Tasuki choked and took a few steps back…and then tripped over the chair that was right behind him. He gaped up from his position on the floor. "Where…where the hell did you get that word?"
"I am older and wiser, no da." Chichiri continued to smile innocently.
"Without your mask, that smile just looks…plain evil." Tasuki shuddered.
Chichiri burst out laughing again. Suzaku, it was good to be with Tasuki!
"Come on, my love," Chichiri said in a husky voice as he offered the shocked bandit his hand. "I'd rather see you sitting somewhere else, no da."
"Bu…bu…bu…but…" Tasuki remained on the floor, though he had scooted a few feet away from the monk.
"Mou, stop clucking. I don't think Suzaku would appreciate your weak imitation of him, no da," Chichiri said, looking every bit as serious as a drunken dwarf. "Come on, Tasuki-kun. You don't need to clean my floor, na no da. I know a better use for your behind, no da."
"AGH!!!!!!" Tasuki jumped up and ran out the door.
Kouji found him hiding in the storage room a couple of hours later.
"Yo, what are you doing here?"
"Where is Chiri?" Tasuki asked in a hushed voice.
"I don't know. What, lost your boyfriend already?"
"Shut up!" Tasuki leaned back against the wall and sighed in relief. "I am SO going to kill you, you asshole!"
Kouji laughed. "Admit it. You like this." The older bandit nudged his friend's ribs. "He's going to be your boyfriend for days…take advantage of it, man!"
"Are you nuts?" Tasuki grabbed the front of Kouji's shirt and shook the daylights out of him. "He'll find out! And then he'll hate me!"
"How's he gonna find out? Just pretend it's part of the role-playing…you know, amorous lover role." Kouji grinned as he extracted himself from Tasuki.
"He'll find out because…because…there are THINGS you can't pretend or hide!" He looked meaningfully at his dense friend. "When he touches me…Gods, what am I going to do? I am so going to kill you. No, I'll fry you first…and THEN I'll kill you!" Tasuki lunged at Kouji who ducked, exploding in a fit of laughter.
"Mou, Tasuki-kun, no da…should I be jealous, na no da?"
Tasuki froze. Chichiri…
Kouji, the evil bastard that he was, quickly made his getaway. He poked his head back in the doorway and called out to Chichiri, "You might want to do something about his…shyness, Chiri. He can't keep blushing everytime his boyfriend touches him, ne?" And then he was gone before Tasuki's flames could touch him. Needless to say, the entire doorway and a good part of the hallway ended up scorched.
"YOU FREAKING BASTARD!" Tasuki yelled and continued to wave his Tessen even though Chichiri was restraining him from behind.
"Calm down, Tasuki-kun!"
"I'm gonna kill him, Chiri and you're gonna help me."
Chichiri chuckled softly. "Well, can we do it after your mom leaves?" Chichiri's voice was soft and he turned Tasuki around to face him. "I don't think you're in any frame of mind to run this place, na no da." He gently brushed Tasuki's hair out of the bandit's face and smiled. "Poor, Tasuki-chan. You're so stressed, no da."
Tasuki rolled his eyes. "Damn it, Chiri. I think you're having way too much fun with this."
Chichiri's smile widened. "Maybe Kouji-kun is right. We have to get you more used to having me…do things to you."
Tasuki gulped quit audibly. "Do…do…do…things?"
Chichiri sighed. "See? What would your mother say when her tough, fearless son, the infamous Tasuki of the Suzaku Seven stutters like the village idiot?"
"I don't stutter!"
"Right." Chichiri reached out and took Tasuki's hand. The bandit squeaked and backpedaled into the wall.
Chichiri sighed. "I guess you're going to have to tell your mom the truth, Tasuki-kun. Really! And you were the one begging me to help you out, no da. Look at you!" He stood with his hands on his hips, shaking his head at Tasuki.
"I…I…well…" Tasuki swallowed hard. "It's just…I've never, you know, had a boyfriend before."
"And I have?"
"You had a fiancé!"
"Kouran was a girl."
"Technifuckingcality!"
Chichiri smiled. "There. That's more like the Tasuki, I know. It's just pretend, Tasuki-kun, no da. I'm your friend. I won't bite." Then Chichiri smiled that evil little smile. "Unless you want me to."
Tasuki squeaked again.
Chichiri shook his head and turned to leave. "I'm going fishing, no da. You can tell your mom when she comes that I left, na no da."
"NO! Wait!" Tasuki jumped away from the wall and clasped onto Chichiri's arm. "I'm sorry. I just need...time."
"Tasuki-kun, you don't have time. She'll be here this afternoon. What you need is to get used to me, no da."
This was a bad idea…a very bad idea but…but…he found that he really, really wanted to get used to Chichiri…doing things to him. Even if the risk was great…
Tasuki swallowed and nodded. "Okay…what do we do?"
"What gives you the most problem, no da?" Chichiri asked and Tasuki swore that the monk's only eye was gleaming with unholy light.
"Everything," Tasuki muttered.
"Hmmm…have you ever been kissed, Tasuki-kun?"
"K…k…kiss? We have to do that in front of my mom?"
"No. I just like seeing you all flustered." Chichiri chuckled. "I'm sorry. I'll stop teasing you now." Chichiri cocked his head to the side and looked thoughtful. "Wedon't have to do anything, just standing close to each other should do it. Wehave to show her that we care about each other and for that, we really don't have to pretend…What is it Tasuki-kun, no da?"
Tasuki advanced slowly towards his so-called friend. "You were freaking me out all morning and now it's 'nevermind, let's just be our normal selves'? Just what the hell were you thinking?"
"Now, now, Tasuki-kun. You have to admit, you did get lots of exercise running around, no da."
"I'm gonna get a lot more than exercise, you evil, sadistic monk." Tasuki closed in on Chichiri and the latter was backed up against the wall.
Tasuki leaned his forearm on the wall next to Chichiri's head while the other hand reached up to caress the scar across the monk's eye. "Do you have any idea what you'd put me through?" His voice was strained, filled with long suppressed need.
Chichiri cleared his throat and gave him a look that clearly said 'puh-leeze'. "This isn't going to work, Tasuki-kun, no da. I've been doing it to you all morning…do you think I would fall for…what are you doing? Stop that!"
"Who's flustered, now, Chichiri-chan?" Tasuki whispered in Chichiri's ear. He allowed one hand to gently trace the side of the monk's face and was now dipping lower along Chichiri's firm stomach. "You're trembling, monk. Is there something you need?"
Chichiri cleared his throat again but this time Tasuki could tell that his friend was losing his cool. Chichiri was stubborn though and shook his head vigorously. "Not working, Tasuki-kun…no…daaaaa."
Tasuki's hand moved slowly up, trailing teasing fingers across Chichiri's chest, up his neck to clasp firmly on the monk's chin. He kept Chichiri still and stared fixedly into that warm brown eye.
"Chiri. Have YOU ever been kissed?"
Chichiri tried to move but Tasuki tightened his grip. Then Tasuki saw determination in the monk's eye as he stopped trying to get away, ready to face whatever prank Tasuki wanted to play head on.
Chichiri shrugged.
Tasuki exploded. "What the hell is THAT supposed to mean? You've either been kissed or you haven't. What the hell is this?" Tasuki wiggled his shoulders impatiently in imitation of Chichiri.
Chichiri laughed. "You're awful at this seduction stuff, Tasuki-kun, no da! You're not supposed to scold me!"
"No?" Tasuki pressed closer, making sure to only allow his upper body contact. All this talk and…touching were doing things to another body part, one that he had trouble controlling. "So what am I supposed to do?"
Their faces were only a fraction of an inch apart and it was getting really hard to focus without going cross-eyed. But before he could do anything at all, Chichiri leaned in the rest of the way and kissed him.
Tasuki's lungs froze along with much of his body. Only his eyelids seemed to be functioning since they were flapping madly.
The kiss was very gentle, very chaste and too goddamn quick for Tasuki's liking. When he finally managed to get his body to work again, Chichiri had already pulled away and was looking at the crate of dry beef with great interest.
Tasuki's overworked eyelids continued to flap as he blinked stupidly at his friend. Though Chichiri wasn't looking at him, the pinkish tint on his cheeks spoke volumes about what the man might be thinking.
"You call that a kiss?" Tasuki croaked. His throat apparently still didn't want to cooperate.
Chichiri looked at him then, his expression indignant. "I suppose you think you can do better."
Tasuki grinned. "Hell, yeah."
With that said, Tasuki proceeded to show Chichiri just how much better he could do.
Later…much, much, much later… ::cough, cough::
"So…this is the man that stole my son's heart."
Chichiri smiled and allowed Tasuki's arms to tighten around his waist.
"Yep, this is him. This is Chichiri." He turned and looked deeply into Chichiri's eye and smiled. "This is the man I love."
"Tasuki…" Chichiri felt his insides melt and he reached up to caress that beloved face. Finally he could show his true feelings for the bandit…
Tasuki leaned into the hand and then sealed their lips again.
"Ahem." Mrs. Kou cleared her throat to no avail; the two were still lip-locked in front of her. She turned and looked at Kouji who was gaping at the pair as if he'd never seen them before. She sighed. "Oh well, it's nice to see such love and passion even after so many years together, ne, Kouji-kun."
"Er…ha…hai!"
"Now come along and show me to my room!"
"Ha…hai!" He turned to look at the kissing pair again before he turned the corner, shaking his head. "Man, that went WAY better than I'd thought. Damn, I'm good."
---- Owari ----
::bows::
I hope you like the story? And Happy Birthday, FYTasChiML!